Brighter Shades of Light
Page 14
The only thing that caught my eye was a piano against the far wall.
Did he play?
He passed through an open archway, and I was several paces behind him. We entered a huge kitchen that reminded me of the ones I saw in movies, with a lot of windows to let in natural light, an island in the middle, a crap load of cabinets, and a fancy touch-screen refrigerator.
“I’ve always wanted to cook in a kitchen like this,” I said, running a hand along the smooth marble countertop.
“You can cook?”
“I’m no Gordon Ramsey, but I do all right.” Spotting a tray of food on the table, I approached it. Freshly cut strawberries, oranges, and cantaloupe surrounded two bowls of steel-cut oatmeal topped with banana slices. “Wow.”
“It’s too much, isn’t it?” Sebastian ruffled the back of his hair and stared down at the hardwood floor, awkward and adorable. “I admit I’m not used to having company. I invited you to breakfast, though, so I thought it best to have food prepared. You don’t have to eat it. I wasn’t sure what you liked.”
He was rambling. He never rambled. Damn, he must really be nervous.
“It looks great,” I said, touching his chin. “I’m starving.”
I didn’t say I’d rather eat him than the food. Giving him head the other day had been amazing. I loved the way he tasted, loved how he gripped my hair as he came, and how he looked at me afterward, his eyes barely open as he tried to catch his breath. A sign of a job well done.
Since the morning was so nice, he grabbed the tray and took it outside to the back patio. I went through the sliding glass door after him and stilled when I looked over the balcony. The view was out of this world; the blue-green water glistening as the sun hit the surface, a mountain in the distance, and so many trees, their leaves coloring the mountainside in orange, yellow, and red.
“This is beautiful.”
Sebastian placed the tray on the two-seater table and followed my gaze. A serene expression washed over his face. “It is.” He snapped out of it. “I’ll get the coffee.”
He went into the house and returned a minute later with two steaming mugs.
“Thanks.” I took a mug and smiled when I saw the coffee was several shades lighter than his. He remembered how much cream and sugar I put in mine. When I took a drink, it was spot on. “Excellent observation skills, Doctor.”
“I should hope so,” he said, sitting in the chair opposite mine. “Otherwise, I’ve been in the wrong line of work for all of my adult life.”
It was the perfect opening to ask him some questions.
“So, you got your Ph.D. in Chemistry?”
“Yes. Physics, as well.”
I nodded, impressed. “And then you worked as a nuclear chemist? For how long?”
“Eight years.” Sebastian took a drink and stared at the picturesque view. “I graduated high school at fifteen and started college right after. It was challenging but worth it in the end.”
“Do you enjoy being a teacher? Seems like a big change from what you were doing.”
“I enjoy it, yes.” He continued to stare at the water before moving his eyes to me. “We should eat.”
I got the feeling he steered the conversation away because it would’ve led to something he didn’t want to talk about. But what?
My hunger outweighed the curiosity, though, and I dug into the oatmeal. He’d sweetened it just enough, and the banana added a lot to the flavor, pairing well with the honey. Over breakfast, we talked a little more. He asked how I was doing in my other classes, and I said I was doing a lot better. I asked him about his work and picked at the fruit, eating a handful of strawberries as he described his vision for the university. His research involved working in a lab, but he also spent time applying for grants to help further certain research projects.
“If the budget would allow for it, I want to install solar powered roofs on most, if not all, of the buildings,” he explained. “It’s pricey at first but would pay itself off in little time with the amount of energy saved. The issue is getting the okay on it.”
“I think it’s a great idea. Is your house solar powered?”
Sebastian nodded. “My car is a hybrid, as well.”
“Look at you being Mr. Save the Planet.” I smiled behind my cup.
“If I don’t, who will?” He grabbed an orange slice and raised it to his mouth. The juice wet his lips as he slid the tip inside and gently bit down.
I doubted he realized how sexy he looked, since he appeared to be deep in thought, but I definitely noticed.
“I believe a problem with humankind,” he continued, after swallowing the bite, “is many people recognize the need for change, but very few take charge, themselves. They see the bridge start to crumble and say what a shame it is, but yet they still cross it, unaware that their actions will make the problem worse.”
“That’s a good way to look at it. I kind of feel like that about joining the Corps. If I don’t fight for my country, who will, you know?”
He regarded me. “You’re very admirable.”
“Nah.” I dismissed the compliment and popped a cube of cantaloupe into my mouth. “I’m not admirable. Just a regular guy.”
Once the food was eaten, we refilled our coffees and kept talking. An hour and a half must’ve passed and we were still out there.
Before coming to his house, I had viewed today as a hookup, imagining us making out and tearing off our clothes shortly after I got there. That was the hope, anyway. I should’ve known better. Sebastian wasn’t like most men. He seemed more interested in what was in my head than under my clothes.
And honestly? I didn’t mind.
I had done the hookup thing. The one-night-stand thing. Hell, I had even had a friends-with-benefits type situation for a while during my freshmen year that had carried over into sophomore year before the guy graduated and moved out of state. So taking it slow was actually kind of nice.
“Should we go inside?” Sebastian asked.
“Sure.”
I helped him clean up. He carried the tray with the plates into the kitchen, and I rinsed them off in the sink. We didn’t say much, but we didn’t have to. I caught him staring at me once, and I grinned. He pushed his glasses back up his nose and cleared his throat.
“Do I get a tour of the house?” I asked, not actually serious. Sure, I wanted to see it, but he had no obligations to show me. Sebastian was a private man.
“Of course. Follow me.”
I stared at the back of his head, stunned. “Really?”
“It’s only a house, Mr. Miller. Don’t look so shocked.” He quirked a brow. “Unless you’re afraid of the ghosts.”
“Ghosts?” I strode forward and stood beside him. “Bring it on.”
His answering smile would be worth the scare, if the ghosts were real. Which they weren’t. Right? I moved closer.
There wasn’t much to see. The rest of the house was almost as bare as the living room. The bathroom was clean, with perfectly folded white towels on a rack like ones you’d find in a hotel room. His bedroom seemed as if he only used it for sleeping. No TV and nothing that showed his personality, other than a book on the nightstand beside the bed.
We walked up the stairs, one of those that went up a little and then curved. The house seemed too big for one person, especially someone who didn’t seem to care much for materialistic things. There was another bathroom on the second floor, identical to the first, and a bedroom that had nothing in it other than a large telescope and a chair. The wow factor was the ceiling. One part of it was glass, giving an amazing view of the sky.
“I like to look at the stars sometimes,” Sebastian said, staring at the glass ceiling.
“When I was little, I did that, too.” I walked over to the telescope and studied it. Not touching it, though. It was probably insanely expensive, and knowing my luck I’d break it. “My dad made a pallet in the backyard and we’d try to pick out the constellations.”
“That sounds
nice.”
“Yeah. We didn’t have much, but we had each other.” I focused back on him. “Where to next?”
We left the room and moved down the hall. When we arrived at a closed door, he hesitated.
“Do you have a dead body in there?” I asked.
Sebastian breathed out a laugh and scratched the back of his head. “This is my study.”
I eyed him suspiciously. “So, what you’re telling me is…there is a dead body in there that you experiment on? Like Doctor Frankenstein?”
He closed his eyes a moment and sighed. I couldn’t tell if he was nervous, amused, or irritated. My smile widened.
I expected his study to look a lot like the rest of the house, not much on the walls and a desk covered in papers. When I stepped inside, though, I was taken aback.
Paintings covered the walls, some of the sky and others of melted clocks. There were also old medical photos of skull diagrams, which were pretty cool. Very Frankenstein of him. I stepped farther into the room, finding a bookshelf overflowing with leather-bound books that looked older than me, knick-knacks, and a spinning globe. And so many clocks, ranging in size.
The desk sat in front of the window, organized but in a slightly chaotic way. The papers on his desk, rather than jutting out all crazy like I imagined a mad scientist’s would, were stacked in one corner, with a computer on the other side, and a mantel clock in the center.
It was like Sebastian locked all of his personality and things he loved into one room, hiding from everyone, maybe even himself.
I felt like he had not only let me into his study, a place full of things he treasured, but into his world, as well.
I reached for his hand.
Though hesitantly, he accepted my touch and entwined our fingers. “What do you think?”
“Hmm.” I scrunched up my nose and glanced around. “I think you need to bring some of this personality into the rest of your house.”
“This is mostly where I stay,” he said, releasing my hand and walking over to his desk. “I come home and read or continue my research.”
“No wonder you always look so tired.” I walked over to the bookshelf and touched the globe, spinning it. I looked back at him. “Crap. Is it okay if I touch that? I didn’t even ask. I’m sorry.”
“It’s quite all right,” he answered, a strange look in his eyes. “Normally, it bothers me when people touch my things, but with you…”
He didn’t finish the sentence. Instead, he dropped his gaze to the desk and straightened up the stack of papers that didn’t need straightening.
“Know what I think, Doctor?”
“What is that, Mr. Miller?” His tone was indifferent, but his lips twitched, as if he were trying to suppress a smile.
He said my last name on purpose now, much like me calling him ‘Doctor,’ so it no longer bothered me.
“When you’re running on empty, you won’t get very far,” I said, approaching him. “Take one day a week to refuel. No working. Like zero. Nada. It will help you be more efficient when you get back to work the next day. More mental clarity and stuff to help you focus.”
“You’re not the first person who’s told me that.”
“Maybe you should listen, then.”
I couldn’t fight it anymore. I had to touch him. I walked around the desk until I was in front of him and smoothed my hand along his jaw.
He leaned into my touch, briefly closing his eyes and parting his lips. Lips I then claimed.
The kiss awoke the butterflies in my stomach.
I had kissed a lot of guys, but none of them had made me feel even half of what Sebastian did. And it wasn’t because of the taboo aspect of our relationship, either. He might be my college professor, but our connection went deeper than the excitement of doing something you weren’t supposed to.
Forbidden or not, kissing him felt right.
***
Tristen was being an asshole Monday morning. We were at PT doing snakes, which involved running up the bleacher steps, zigzagging along a row, and running down the steps before doing it all over again. He didn’t talk to me. Hardly even looked at me.
“Yo.” Marcus bumped my arm during the first break. “What’s T’s problem?”
“Hell if I know,” I said, out of breath.
Tristen glared over at us and put his hands on his hips, breathing deeply. Rachel jogged over to him and said something. He didn’t seem interested in talking with her, though, and eventually turned away and went to stand by himself.
After PT, I showered and got dressed before leaving O’Brien Hall. Halloween was a week away, and signs were taped to posts about a big party that Saturday. The past few years I had attended the party, but I wasn’t sure I wanted to this year. If the weekend was like the previous one, I’d have plans with a certain professor, anyway.
Back in the dorm, I walked past the bathroom where Tristen had just gotten out of the shower and was shaving.
“Hey,” I said, stopping in the doorway.
Tristen looked at me in the mirror before focusing back on his face, smoothing a hand along his jaw before dabbing the razor under the running water.
“Why are you so pissed at me?”
Sighing, he hung his head. A second passed, and then he flipped around to me. “Why do you think?”
“Because I didn’t tell you who I saw on Saturday? Really, Tristen? I don’t have to tell you every goddamn thing that happens in my life. Stop acting like you’re five.”
“Yeah? Well at least I’m not fucking my teacher.”
My scalp prickled.
“Not even going to deny it?” He walked closer, his jaw tight.
“I’m not fucking him,” I said, fighting a sudden wave of anger. “And even if I was, it’s none of your business.”
“Pretty sure the board of directors would have something to say about it.” He stood toe to toe with me. “If they found out.”
I took a step back, putting distance between us before I punched him.
“Look, Tristen. I don’t know what your damn problem is, but you need to grow up. Even if I was fucking Sebastian, what does it matter to you? You’re my best friend. Why would you threaten to fuck me over like that?”
Some type of understanding dawned on him. “You called him Sebastian. That’s new.”
I was about to continue the argument when something dawned on me, too.
“You’re jealous,” I said, seeing him in a different light. “That’s why you’re acting like this.”
“Jealous?” Tristen made a face and shook his head. “Why would I be jealous?” He shoved past me. “I don’t have time for this. I gotta get to class.”
I didn’t know if I was more hurt or confused. He stormed to his room, grabbed his backpack, and left the dorm, slamming the door on his way out.
I was still thinking about him when I went to the dining hall. In a daze, I moved down the line and piled food on my plate. Eggs, sausage, and toast. I forewent coffee and grabbed orange juice instead. Sitting by myself at a table nearest to the exit, I began to eat, but the food was tasteless.
I didn’t know what the hell Tristen wanted from me.
On my way to thermodynamics, it started raining, a perfect addition to an already dreary morning. By the time I ducked under the awning outside the math and science building, I was drenched. I went inside and headed down the hall toward class, my wet sneakers squeaking on the tile floor.
Brandon came around a corner and smacked into me.
“Watch where you’re going, cadet,” he said, glaring even though it was his fault. He swung open the door to the lecture hall, gave me one last snarl, and went inside.
I waited a moment, telling myself not to hit him, before opening the door and entering the room. Brownnoser Brandon sat in the first row, so I picked a seat in the second one. I hardly ever resorted to violence, but he had another thing coming to him—like my fist to his face—if he didn’t back off.
My mood improved once Sebastia
n walked in, wearing a sweater-vest and long-sleeved shirt underneath. He was a bit of a nerd, but I loved it.
“Good morning,” Dr. Sexy said. He pulled the attendance sheet from his bag and laid it on the table.
“Morning, Dr. Vale!” Brandon hopped out of his seat, making sure he was the first one to sign his name.
Class didn’t start for another five minutes, so Sebastian flipped through his notes and paid little attention to the students filing into the auditorium. After I signed the sheet, I sat back down and pulled the textbook from my bag. I opened it to the marked chapter and read over the summary to get an idea of what we’d be covering in class today.
When I looked back up, Sebastian was staring at me. I smiled, and he returned the action before dropping his gaze.
So many longing glances between us. The room of people disappeared, and it was just us and our connection.
I thought back to Saturday. In his study, we had kissed, hands roaming over clothed bodies and fingers twisting in each other’s hair. He had pushed me against his desk and dipped his tongue into my mouth. I moaned, imagining what his tongue would feel like somewhere else. We didn’t have sex, but it had been the most intimate moment of my life. Kissing him, feeling his hands on me, was like a piece of heaven I thought I’d never get to see.
After class, I waited for mostly everyone to clear out before approaching him.
“Hello, Mr. Miller.” His tone was formal, but his eyes…they held a tenderness that made that area right above my stomach ache.
“I want to see you again,” I whispered, leaning toward him so the remaining students couldn’t hear. “I can’t wait until Saturday. Can I come over tonight?”
Sebastian flicked a gaze around the room. “Tonight isn’t good for me.” The hope deflated in my chest, but then he added, “Tomorrow would be best.”
That perked me back up. “Okay. Cool. Just call or text me the time.”
“Mhm.”
He tried to seem disinterested. I knew better, though. The signs were in the swallow in his throat, the darkening of his gaze as he looked at my lips.