Other Echoes
Page 20
*****
I can’t believe I’ve sunk this low, Emi thought ruefully to herself. Feeling extremely conspicuous, she took a deep breath and marched into the main school office. The secretary Miss Fukuhara gave a cheerful hello before returning to her typing.
Emi tried to look casual as she sidled up to the public file of student schedules. The logical part of her brain reminded her that she had no reason to feel guilty. The student schedules were available for anyone in the school to peruse. But she was still afraid that a passerby would see her and know instantly what she was up to. And then they’d know she was a pathetic loser.
Heart thumping, she thumbed through the alphabetical listings until she got to “C.”
Cruz, Kainoa.
After checking furtively over both shoulders, she quickly scanned the document. She needed to mentally prepare herself for the possibility that they shared a class together, because that would suck.
Sure enough, Kainoa was enrolled in French at 2:30 with Ms. Labarge.
Rats.
She stuffed the schedule back into the filing cabinet and scurried out of the office. The clock said 1:28. She would be just in time for her lunch with Charlotte.
As Emi hurried over the common green, her thoughts flitted to her cousin. Even though they had nothing in common, Emi was beginning to consider Charlotte a friend. Or if not a true friend yet, at the very least a figurative life raft – someone to hang onto now that all Emi’s other friends had forsaken her.
Was that opportunistic of her? Probably. But Emi had enough on her mind without splitting hairs over minor moral qualms.
“Hey.” Emi jogged up to Charlotte who stood alone by a rock wall by the large cafeteria.
She led her cousin to the main dining hall, where there was an array of healthy options. Every year, the school fought a losing battle against the student body’s taste buds, forcing them to eat vegetables and whole grains and 100% fruit juice.
“So, how’s it been?” Emi asked Charlotte as they stood in line.
“Eh.” Charlotte made a so-so gesture. She grimaced at the salad bar. “Is there anything other than carrot sticks?”
“Sushi. Black bean burger. ‘Meatless Surprise,’ whatever that is.” Emi grabbed a tray of sushi and headed for the checkout line. Charlotte daringly chose the suspicious looking stir-fry.
Because Charlotte’s arm was still in the sling, Emi had to help her carry her can of juice and carrot sticks to a lunch table in the courtyard.
“What about your day?” Charlotte asked.
“I like my teachers so far,” Emi said half-heartedly. Then she put down her chopsticks in irritation. “Okay, forget it. I have to ask you something.”
“What?”
“At your old school, were there cliques? Like “cool people” or whatever idiotic name you want to give them?”
Charlotte chewed thoughtfully. “I guess.”
“Were you one of them?”
“Probably not. I don’t know. I didn’t pay attention to things like that.”
Emi raised a skeptical eyebrow. “You honestly didn’t care where you stood in the social hierarchy?”
Charlotte shrugged.
Slumping back into her chair, Emi put another piece of sushi in her mouth. “I know it’s cliché and lame, but I do care. And is that so wrong? Is it so wrong to want to be socially accepted?”
“I don’t know.”
Emi threw up her hands in disgust. “It probably is wrong. It’s ridiculous to be dependent on a guy for self-esteem. I never thought I’d be that girl,” Emi said darkly. “But ever since Kainoa broke up with me, it’s all I think about. Kainoa, Kainoa, Kainoa. I can’t help myself, and it’s driving me nuts.”
“It’s probably normal to miss him,” Charlotte said.
“But it isn’t about missing him. It’s worse than that.” Emi stabbed at her sushi in frustration, mushing up the rice with her chopsticks. “He left me with nothing. I have no friends, no boyfriend, no dignity. I’m a big, fat nothing now.”
Charlotte looked sidelong at Emi without speaking.
“And did you see the way his friends treated me this morning?” Emi went on, her chest filling with righteous indignation. “They ignored me. Like I was invisible. Am I supposed to stand here and let them debase me like that?”
“You could get new friends,” Charlotte suggested.
“That wouldn’t solve the real problem.”
“What’s that?”
“It’s a matter of principle,” Emi said loftily. “His friends always thought they were better than me. They always thought I was not worthy of Kainoa. And when he dumped me, it just confirmed that. I’m not the kind of girl who can tolerate an indignity for long. I’m the kind of girl who always fights back.”
“Fights back how?” Charlotte asked in her usual detached voice.
“I don’t know yet. But when I think of the proper outlet for my vengeance, it will be suitably intense.”
She turned her focus back to eating, but the sushi was tasteless in her mouth.
“Well, there is one obvious solution,” Charlotte said, breaking the silence. “You could try winning Kainoa back.”
Emi laughed mirthlessly “Easier said than done.”
“But not impossible.”
“You think?”
“Make Kainoa jealous,” Charlotte said as if this were very reasonable. “By dating another guy.”
“Oh, those mind games never work. Besides, it’s not as though hot date-able guys are a dime a dozen around here.”
Charlotte’s eyes grew wide. “Are you kidding? This place is like a feeding ground for Abercrombie and Fitch models.”
“If by ‘Abercrombie and Fitch models’ you mean ‘twerpy geeks,’ then yes, I totally agree,” Emi said sourly.
“How about that guy?” Charlotte asked, pointing to a random student who was strolling past.
“Ew, Derek?” Emi said. “He definitely would not make Kainoa jealous.”
“If you had your tongue down Derek’s throat he would.”
Emi shuddered and tossed her empty sushi tray into the trashcan. “I don’t know. I don’t like stooping to that kind of petty emotional manipulation.”
“You said you wanted to fight back. So fight back,” Charlotte said. “All’s fair in love and war.”
“That idiom is just an excuse to do stupid, selfish things,” Emi said grimly. “As if humans needed any more of an excuse.”
Charlotte cocked her head in confusion. “You’re contradicting yourself, you know.”
Emi knew Charlotte was right, but making up her mind wasn’t easy.