Other Echoes

by Noe Dearden

Emi had worked herself into a lather over facing Josh in French, and experienced the ultimate in anticlimax when he never showed up to class. She sat with Kainoa and Tori, but her mind was elsewhere. She was growing worried. Aside from the one time he had called on Saturday, he had kept himself scarce. She hoped he was okay.

  She decided to drop by the Stokowski’s house after class to make sure Josh hadn’t spontaneously combusted or tragically killed himself over his unrequited love for her. She knew it was highly unlikely that he’d offed himself over her, but the longer she sat in French class worrying about him, the more convinced she became of his untimely demise.

  When school let out, on the pretense of spending more quality time with them, Emi joined Kainoa and Tori on the #1 bus to their ballet class.

  “Are you going to watch us rehearse?” Tori asked when they got off at their usual stop. “We’re getting our Nutcracker roles today.”

  “Oh, no, I think I’ll catch a film at the Movie Museum,” she said. “Um, I’ll see you guys later.”

  They disappeared into the studio and Emi beelined for Josh’s street.

  She came to the now familiar door and knocked. No one answered. She rang the doorbell. Still no answer.

  Frustrated, she peeked through the window. All the lights were off. That was strange.

  She stepped over the low privet hedge that separated the Stokowski’s house from Larry’s. To her relief, he answered immediately.

  “Emi! Would you like some rambutans? I grew them myself.” Larry thrust a big bowl of hairy, red fruit towards her. They looked like villainous aliens that were plotting to take over the world. She made a face and batted them away.

  “No,” she said, a little rudely. She was too worried about Josh to care about civilities.

  “You should come around back, the roses are blooming,” he said cheerfully. “It’s a sight to behold.”

  She tapped her foot impatiently. She wanted to tell him that she was in a rush, and that she needed to know where Josh was right away in case he was about to throw himself off a bridge or stick his head in a gas oven, but Larry was already leading her around back to see his bushes.

  She followed after him. “Actually, I’m looking for Josh. He wasn’t in school and he doesn’t answer my calls. You don’t know where he is do…you…whoa.” She was immersed in roses. There was every color. Red, white, yellow, every shade of pink imaginable. The smell was intoxicating.

  “I told you they would bloom soon,” he said with a twinkle in his eye. He took a glass vessel from his porch. It was full of what looked like water, and there was a pair of pruning shears resting within. “I’ll cut you one.”

  He snipped a pale-peach colored bloom off at an angle, performing the incision with the delicacy of a heart surgeon. “Watch out for the thorns.”

  She grasped the flower gently. “So I guess you don’t know where Josh is?” she asked desperately.

  The old man frowned pensively into the afternoon sun. “He’s at the hospital.”

  “The hospital,” Emi shouted. “I knew it! I knew it…I had this feeling that something horrible had happened to him.”

  “Oh, there’s nothing the matter with him,” Larry assured her. “But his sister has been ill for quite some time.”

  “Iris?” Emi gasped.

  Larry shook his head. “Seneca. She has a lung condition. I’m afraid she’s dying.”

  “Dying?” Emi repeated stupidly, as if the word held no meaning for. She hadn’t even known Josh had a sister named Seneca.

  “It’s been a long time coming,” Lawrence said. “The family was well prepared for this.”

  “But Josh never told me anything,” Emi said. “He never said he was dealing with this.”

  Larry smiled kindly. “You care for him, don’t you?”

  The question stymied her. “I guess I do,” she said. “But, to be honest, I feel I barely know him.”

  “He’s a nice kid.”

  Emi recalled that Larry had said this once before, and she had balked. Now she had to agree. Josh was nice, once you got underneath all his defenses.

  Emi took down the name of the hospital from Larry and got back on the bus going west. Thank goodness she had Larry to aid and abet her stalker tendencies. Where would she be without him?

  She had never been to Kapiolani Medical Center before. She got lost looking for the elevators. Finally, she made it to the room number the receptionist had given her for Seneca Stokowski.

  She didn’t want to knock. She had never been in the room of someone dying before. Josh’s whole family was probably inside. What if they didn’t want her? What if Josh told her to mind her own business? On the other hand, she needed to see him. She needed to tell him she was sorry for ignoring him and using him, and not knowing everything he had been going through.

  She knocked tentatively, and a pleasant looking woman with a round face and short brown hair came to the door. She realized this must be Josh’s mom.

  “Is this Seneca’s room?” Emi asked shyly.

  “Yes, it is. May I help you?”

  “Uh, I’m actually looking for Josh,” she said. “Is he here?”

  The woman backed into the room. “Josh. There’s a girl at the door for you.”

  He appeared a moment later, with his green hoodie and his reading glasses. He had a sleepless, unrested look about him, and his hair was more tousled than usual. He was still ridiculously good-looking, even with the messy hair and the dark circles under his eyes. She was seized by a sudden urge to wrap him in a huge bear hug. The antsy urgency of her mission to track him down clearly was going to her head, because she acted on that impulse, lunging forward and throwing her arms around him in a spontaneous embrace.

  He stood stiffly for a moment, then relented and put a hand onto the small of her back and patted her a few times.

  She released him, feeling sheepish.

  “Emi?” he said, stepping out into the hallway and carefully closing the door behind him. “Is…is everything okay?”

  “I didn’t know your sister was dying. I feel like the worst human being in the whole world. I’m sorry for everything I’ve done lately. I used you, as you rightly pointed out the other day. And then I got back together with Kainoa, right after you confessed your undying love for me, and to be honest, I despise myself for taking that good-for-nothing scumbag back when I really should have skewered him like a gigantic shish-kebab for what he did, not just to me, but to Natalie too, because it turns out she’s had a rough time lately. And now look at me! I’m talking about my love life while your sister is dying in the next room and your whole family is mourning. I shouldn’t have come. I should have left a message on your cellphone. Is your sister doing okay? No, of course she’s not okay. That was a stupid question. I’m so sorry. I’m…just going to shut up now.”

  Josh looked confused. He rubbed his eyes. “How did you know I was here?” he asked.

  “Your neighbor told me.”

  Josh nodded. “Is that for Seneca?”

  She looked down and realized he was talking about the rose. It had not survived the journey well at all. She had been clutching it so tightly in her hands that the stem had actually bent, and most of the petals were crushed.

  “Honestly? No,” she said. “I didn’t even think to bring her something. That’s the kind of insensitive jerk I am.”

  He took the rose from Emi and twirled it thoughtfully between his fingers. “You really have a knack for butting into people’s private lives, don’t you?”

  “I can go. I’m sorry.”

  “No,” he said. “I’m...I’m glad you’re here.” He walked to an alcove in the hallway, where there was a bench next to a painting. It was one of her father’s works, Emi noticed. She thought about all the sick and dying people who had passed that image over the years. The thought freaked her out.

  They sat down under the painting. Emi didn’t know where to put her hands, so she stuffed them into her pockets. She felt very uncomfortabl
e.

  “How are you feeling?” she asked, because it seemed like the right thing to say.

  “Relieved,” he said.

  She looked at him curiously. That was not the answer she had been expecting.

  “Seneca has been suffering for so long,” he explained. “It’s time. She’ ready.”

  Emi had never thought about death this way before. It had always been at a very far remove from her life.

  “Is she conscious?” Emi asked.

  “She comes in and out,” he said. “But she’s peaceful.”

  Emi nodded slowly. “Why didn’t you say anything about this?” she asked. “I had no idea you were dealing with something so painful.”

  “It’s a hard thing to explain to people. I found it’s easier to handle these situations on my own.”

  He fell silent, and Emi waited for him to go on.

  “It isn’t the first time I’ve lost a sibling,” he said. “My parents have adopted other children with terminal illnesses. Death is not an alien concept in our household. It doesn’t make it less painful to lose a family member, of course, but it’s a little different, I suppose.”

  A morbid thought came to mind. “You’d better not have a terminal illness that you’re not telling me about,” she said. “I would hate you forever if you kept that from me.”

  He looked at her funny, almost surprised. “No, I’m not dying.”

  She sighed with relief. “What about Iris?”

  He hesitated. “She has a heart condition. But she seems to be doing alright as of now.”

  Emi felt overwhelmed by all this news. She must have looked it, too, because Josh said, “You don’t have to stay, you know. It was nice of you to come by. And thank you for the…um, rose.”

  “No, no, I want to stay,” she said hurriedly.

  She took his hand and they sat there in silence for a while. She listened to the sound of him breathing.

  “Can I ask you something personal?” she asked after a moment.

  “Have you ever asked permission before?” he asked with a wry smile.

  She laughed. “No, I guess I tend to be nosy. But you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to,” she said. “I just wondered, since all your siblings have special needs, why don’t you?”

  “Who says I don’t?” he asked.

  “Oh,” she said. “I guess I just assumed...”

  He didn’t say anything. She was too impatient to wait, so she asked, “Well what is it, then?”

  He fidgeted with his foot. “I don’t think I’m ready to talk about it with you yet. Maybe later, when we know each other better.”

  Before Emi could respond, the door to Seneca’s hospital room opened and Iris emerged, holding the door open for Meera to wheel her way through.

  “There you are,” Iris said accusingly. “And…Emi!” she squealed.

  She came running up and dove into Emi’s lap. The enthusiastic welcome got Emi to laugh.

  “You never come and visit,” Iris said. She grabbed the feather hair-extension Emi had clipped to her hair this morning. “This is ridiculous. Why would you put ugly green feathers in your hair?”

  “Iris, that’s not polite,” Josh said.

  “You should come inside,” the little girl suggested, holding onto Emi’s shoulders and leaning back. “Mom’s setting the music up, and I’m going to do my hip-hop routine for Seneca.”

  “I’d love to see that,” Emi said, bouncing Iris carefully off her knee and standing up.

  They all went into the room. Emi had expected it to be very dark and gloomy, but all the windows were open and there were flowers and cards covering every surface. The tiny space was packed with Stokowski’s. Sitting up in a hospital bed, hooked to several machines, was a young girl looking small, pale and fragile. Her eyes were half-closed, but she seemed to be awake because she was whispering something to a wiry little man with a military haircut whom Emi guessed was Josh’s father.

  Josh went to Seneca and sat down in a chair by her bed. “Seneca, this is my friend, Emi,” he said.

  The girl replied with something very soft that Emi couldn’t hear.

  “What did she say?” Emi asked.

  Josh’s cheeks grew pink. “Never mind. Let’s see Iris’s dance, shall we?”

  Mrs. Stokowski was sitting on a pastel armchair near the window with a laptop balanced on the armrest. She pressed a button and the music from Iris’ dance routine came tinnily from the computer speakers.

  “Louder!” Iris shouted, already swaying her hips to the beat.

  Seneca chuckled quietly from the bed. Music filled the room.

  “Come on, Emi,” Iris said. “Dance with me.”

  Emi shook her head, embarrassed. “I don’t know the moves,” she said. “This is your moment, Iris.”

  “Dance, Emi, Dance!” Iris insisted, still bouncing up and down to the music. She continued the chant in time with the beat. “Dance, dance, dance!”

  “Go on,” Mrs. Stokowski encouraged her. “The more the merrier.”

  Emi smiled self-consciously and went beside Iris, improvising a few tentative steps. At first she was embarrassed to have everyone watching her. How was she supposed to dance in front of someone who was sick and dying? It felt wrong. But Iris took Emi by the hand and there was such innocent delight in her face that Emi had to relent. She closed her eyes. All the pain and joy of life and death came through her limbs as they danced. As they moved, she forgot she was in a hospital room until the last chord of music died away and everyone began to clap, Seneca loudest of all.