Other Echoes

by Noe Dearden

  Part of her wondered what would have happened that night if she had not thought to tell her parents about Spitting Caves. When they had called her at the hospital, frantic with worry over Charlotte’s disappearance, she had felt cold with the knowledge that she had not grasped her cousin’s predicament as fully as she should have. How could she help someone she did not understand?

  People were curious beings, Emi realized. It was difficult being human. And even with seven billion others on the planet, it was easy to feel alone.

  Something was changing in Emi, blossoming like the roses in Larry’s garden. An understanding that she had no words for yet. But she felt an impulse for something like kindness, and for clinging to what good there was in herself, and what good there was in the world, however seemingly scant.

  It was with this feeling that she went to the lunchroom the next day and purchased two burritos from the cafeteria’s Mexican bar.

  She knew who she had to have lunch with today.

  Natalie was in the children’s section of the school library, as Emi knew she would be. This had always been Natalie’s sanctuary, the place she went to escape.

  Emi plopped one of the burritos onto the table in front of Natalie and sat across from her. The chairs were intended for children, and Emi had to twist her long legs to one side to keep from upsetting the table.

  “Hey,” Emi said. “I brought you a burrito.”

  “I don’t eat meat,” Natalie said.

  “It’s cheese and beans. And here’s a knife and a fork, because I know you’re the only freak in the universe who eats a burrito with a fork.”

  Natalie unwrapped the foil tentatively. “Is this a peace offering?”

  “No, it’s laced with arsenic,” Emi said. “Of course it’s a peace offering, dodo head. Burritos are your favorite food. I do remember that, you know.”

  “Excuse me for being suspicious. This just seems a little out of the blue,” Natalie said.

  “I want to clear the air. We were bad to each other, Nat. I know I wasn’t a good friend when you needed me, and you definitely should not have fooled around with Kainoa behind my back. We both acted wrong.”

  “What are you expecting me to say?” Natalie asked guardedly. “Do you expect me to apologize?”

  “No,” Emi said. “I want to hear your side of the story.”

  Natalie fiddled nervously with her plastic utensils. “It’s embarrassing.”

  “Do you want me to start?” Emi offered.

  Natalie gave a non-committal nod.

  She took a deep breath. “Okay. So, I was always jealous of you because Madam liked your dancing better,” Emi began. “And I know that even though we called each other friends, sometimes I treated you like crap because I thought it would make me feel better to knock you down a few pegs. I can’t really blame you for hating on me and wanting to get revenge.”

  “Oh, Emi. I never hated you,” Natalie said earnestly. “To be honest, I dated Kainoa because I thought it would make me more like you. It was never about revenge.”

  “Why would you want to be like me?” Emi asked, frowning.

  “Oh come on. Why wouldn’t I? You have the perfect family, the perfect house, the perfect life. And I was so tired of being stepped on. By everyone – not just you, but mmy parents, too. They treat me like I’m a burden. My dad doesn’t want anything to do with me. I’m sure you heard about him leaving,” she muttered. “For once, I wanted to be the one doing the stepping on. I was tired of being a doormat.”

  “I bet it didn’t make you feel any better,” Emi grimaced. “I’ve certainly learned that lesson myself.”

  Natalie shook her head. “It was living hell. I felt guilty and ridiculous the whole time I was dating Kai. And he didn’t understand why I felt that way.”

  “He’s not the most perceptive person,” Emi agreed. “I don’t think he’s a bad guy, but sometimes he’s a little immature. His friends don’t help. I think they all have a lot of growing up to do, still.”

  “At least he has you to help him along,” Natalie said a little wistfully. “And you do make a cute couple. I don’t think it was quite the same between him and me.”

  Emi shook her head and took a big bite of burrito. “He’s on his own. I broke it off with him this morning.”

  “What? Why would you do that?” Natalie asked.

  Emi chewed pensively, struggling to put words to her thoughts. “Like I said, he has a lot of growing up to do. He’s a great dancer and a horrible boyfriend. And some of the things he said to me the other day about my weight and my dancing, I just…I realized that I was clinging to the idea of him, and not the real him. It wasn’t fair to either one of us, in the end.”

  Natalie made a self-deprecating face. “I’m going to take full credit for helping you come to that realization. Just think, if he hadn’t cheated with me, you might still be tied to that loser.”

  “You know what?” Emi laughed. “You’re probably right.”

  Josh was absent from French, as she expected he would be. Meanwhile, Tori and Kainoa were back to shunning her, except this time she didn’t care. She had not broken up with Kainoa out of spite or anger. If he wanted to take it that way, that was his choice. By the looks of it, Tori was already making her moves on him, sitting on his lap during French bingo and excessively tossing her hair around. His turnover rate was impressive to say the least.

  Ms. Labarge dismissed class, and the room erupted into a cacophony of chairs screeching against linoleum as everyone bolted from their seats. Emi stuffed her textbook into her backpack and was ready to leave when she saw Josh enter the room looking so distinctly himself, with his green hoodie and his mussed hair, that her heart surged. He stopped at Ms. Labarge’s desk, and she handed him the cycle sheet from yesterday’s class.

  “I’ll make up the work,” Emi heard him say. Then he noticed her watching him and side-stepped the maze of chairs that students had left in their wake to reach her.

  “I’m walking to my science teacher’s office. Do you want to come?”

  She nodded and they strolled together towards the science building.

  “I hoped I would see you,” he said.

  His words sent a warm rush through Emi that surprised her. “Is your family doing okay?” she asked.

  “As well as can be expected. We loved Seneca. She was truly the sweetest girl, and she didn’t have a malicious bone in her body. You would have liked her.”

  “I wish I got a chance to know her,” Emi said.

  They had reached the science building and stopped outside. He hugged his books closer to his chest. “I wanted to tell you about Seneca being sick, Emi, but I have trouble sometimes with disclosing aspects of my private life,” he said. “I have trouble trusting people.”

  “It probably didn’t help that I utterly betrayed your trust,” she said.

  “It didn’t,” he agreed. “Sometimes I have a hard time thinking anyone could like me, let alone…love me.”

  He seemed so embarrassed by the words that he actually winced at himself.

  “Jeez, Josh,” Emi said. “The more I know you, the more I can’t help but like you. You are possibly the most eminently likable person, underneath all those impenetrable, barbed-wire walls you’ve built up around yourself.”

  “Yeah, well, you have a way of sneaking around those walls somehow,” he said. “I can’t help but want to let you in. It’s unaccountable. There’s something about you. And I’ve always known that, even though I wish so desperately it weren’t the case. I know that you’re dating Kainoa, and I don’t want to make your life complicated and…”

  She swallowed hard and pressed her hand lightly against his mouth, quieting him. “I’m not dating Kainoa anymore.”

  He looked at her, afraid to speak.

  She dropped her hand away. “How could I date someone like him after meeting someone like you?”

  He closed his eyes, as though pained. “Don’t say that, Emi. I can’t live up to that
.”

  “Shh. We’ll take it slow,” she promised, tucking her hand into his.

  He nodded slowly, as though mesmerized by her. “I should – uh – I should go before my science teacher leaves,” he said. “But do you want to spend time together afterwards? We could do homework…or something equally thrilling like that.”

  “I would love to. Maybe after dinner? I’m busy this afternoon. It’s actually kind of a big deal. I’m going back to my dance class. It’s going to be brutal.”

  “Wow,” he said. “Good luck. You probably don’t need it, though. You’ll knock them dead.”

  He was so sincere, she couldn’t help herself. She came forward and kissed him, softly, so as not to scare him. And he kissed her back. It was like a window thrown open, a wall’s crashing fall, the first gasping intake of breath.