by Taylor Hyer
Since our mom was so busy with painting or meeting deadlines for certain art galleries, we didn’t see her as much. Even though she worked in our basement, we knew not to interrupt her during certain times. If she had to submit a piece within a week, we weren’t allowed to disrupt her. Sometimes we’d bring her a plate with a sandwich and chips because we knew she probably hadn’t eaten that day; but we never interrupted her. We left the plate at the bottom of the stairs and let her decide when she wanted to eat.
Jackson was a huge Mama’s Boy. When our mom couldn’t eat dinner with us, or if she couldn’t tuck him in at night, Jackson would cry. As the years went on, Jackson understood that our mom may not be able to come upstairs for long periods of time, but it still hurt him. He used to sit at the bottom of the stairs in the basement, watching our mom paint. Even without talking to her, he simply felt better in her presence.
We were used to our parents being gone for long periods of time. I wouldn’t say that I raised Jackson, because our parents took as much time off as possible when he was born up until he was about four. I did spend the most time with Jackson, though. Even though we were separate in age, we were as close as possible. I didn’t allow him in my room, not because I didn’t want him there, but because no one was usually allowed. We had a rule in the house about privacy, and my room was my private room. My parents listened to the rule, especially after the incident a couple years before. They understood that sometimes I needed time to myself. They were great parents in that way.
“Ice cream is served,” Jackson said, smiling as he looked around my room. “Hey, I like that you took that ugly poster of Justin Bieber down.”
“Thanks for the ice cream,” I said, ignoring his judgment for my love of Justin Bieber. I took the poster down before RJ arrived at our house, just in case he wanted to see my room. I’m glad I chose to take it down. That would’ve been embarrassing.
My mom kissed me on the forehead and handed me the bowl of ice cream with all of the best toppings. Jackson handed the other bowl of ice cream to RJ. “I will not kiss your forehead,” Jackson said.
We all laughed. Jackson was full of character. He had such an innocent soul, but he could really make a sarcastic remark if he needed to. At times, I wasn’t sure if he was trying to joke, or if we took his serious remarks as a joke because it sounded so funny coming from such a young kid. Either way, we’d usually laugh at what he said.
“Thanks, dude,” RJ laughed, taking the bowl from Jackson.
Jackson and my mom left my room, and my mom turned to wink at me before she was fully out of sight. I rolled my eyes, allowing a small smile to form out of habit. My mom always knew how to make me smile.
“I’m sorry they didn’t even ask if you wanted ice cream,” I said.
“I love ice cream,” RJ replied. “Our dad rarely lets us have ice cream during football season. It’s a little treat.”
“Do they know where you are?” I asked, afraid he would say no.
“I told them I was at a friend’s house to study,” RJ said quietly. “I didn’t want my brothers to ask questions. My dad is also crazy about staying focused during football season. Girls aren’t even an option in our family.”
“We’re just friends though, remember?” I asked.
“Thanks for reminding me,” RJ laughed. “Before I came here though, I wasn’t sure where it would go.”
“You were hoping for something else,” I said, almost disappointing myself as I said it. I didn’t want to hurt him because I knew I could see myself liking him one day; but due to my past, I closed myself off with people for a lot longer than before. Was that something I could announce to RJ though? Probably not, though he undoubtedly already understood.
“I refuse to be the guy that pushes myself on someone,” RJ said with pride.
“Yet you are used to having everyone push themselves on you,” I said. “Even your friends. Guys that may not want to date you, but they sure as hell want to be you. You never have time to think for yourself, and that hinders how you see yourself too.”
I was apparently living in a newly honest world. The words were flowing out of my mouth before I could even think about what I was saying. RJ stayed silent for a moment, possibly taking in everything I was throwing at him. He never got angry with me, and that made me much more comfortable being around him.
I used to live in such a fake world. Being popular wasn’t as spectacular as the movies made it out to be. There was always pressure to be prettier than everyone else. I remember one day a new girl showed up at our school. One of my best friends said, “wow, her highlights are so cool.” That night, I went home and highlighted my hair, taking away from any popularity that girl might have obtained in one day.
I was shallow, and until I went through such a tragic event in my life, that wasn’t going to change.
“Where are you?” RJ asked, taking me away from my own thoughts.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “Did you say something before?”
“I could tell that you were thinking, so I stayed quiet,” RJ smiled. “Apparently I already know when you need a minute to yourself.”
I didn’t like that he could read me so well. It made me nervous, because I didn’t want to fall for him. I didn’t want to feel so connected to anyone else again; not yet.
“You shouldn’t know me so well,” I said defensively.
“You’re scared,” RJ said, as if he were reading my thoughts.
I shook my head, trying to convince myself he was wrong.
I realized that we hadn’t been on our phones the entire time until RJ pulled his out of his pocket. “I’m sorry,” he said. “This damn phone has been vibrating for a while now. I don’t mean to be rude.”
“I understand,” I said.
He looked down at his phone. I was close enough to notice that he had a long list of messages, and even a few missed calls. I wasn’t close enough to notice who was trying to contact him, but I took a guess.
“Your dad?” I asked.
“I’m usually supposed to be home by nine during football season,” RJ replied.
I had no idea that it was past nine. “I’m so sorry,” I said. “I had no idea what time it was. I don’t even know where my phone is.”
RJ laughed as I panicked, “It’s fine. He’ll be fine. I’m being safe and not jeopardizing my football future. I’m learning more about my potential future.”
“Don’t be cheesy,” I said.
“I’m being serious,” RJ replied. “I’m talking about the way you helped me realize there are other things I may want to do if football isn’t an option.”
I wanted to crawl from the bean bag and make my way under my bed. Every time I tried to talk to RJ, I seemed to embarrass myself in some way. He wasn’t trying to be cheesy or give me a pick-up line. He was being serious; and I was the dumbass that blurted out something I didn’t even know. I could feel my face burning; I must’ve turned dark red. I put my hands up to my face, trying to hide my humiliation the best I could.
“Should you go home?” I asked, realizing I wanted the answer to be no.
“Yes, probably,” RJ replied, pushing my hopes aside. “You should come to our game tomorrow, though.”
Watching football was the last thing I wanted to do. Why would I want to watch guys in extra large pads run into each other for three hours straight? I didn’t want to hear them grunting as they tried to move another player out of their way to reach the quarterback.
“I know football probably doesn’t interest you,” RJ said, interrupting my thoughts as if he were reading them.
“It’s not my favorite sport,” I replied. “I’m not sure what the point of it is.”
RJ laughed, “Everyone says that.”
“I’ll think about it,” I said. “I don’t remember if my dad is on duty this weekend or not. If he’s not, I’m sure he’d like to watch, too. He loves reminiscing about his past.”
“I’d love for your whole family to go,” RJ s
aid. “We love all the support we can get, especially at these big games. This is one of the last games before the playoffs. If we win, we’ll almost guarantee the number two spot in the playoffs. If we lose, we’ll probably end up as number three.”
I wasn’t sure exactly what he was saying to me, but I nodded as if I were interested. RJ’s voice raised a pitch whenever he talked about football. His eyes gleamed as his smile was the biggest it could ever be. He had perfectly white teeth that could’ve only been that straight because of braces. There’s no way someone was born with teeth that aligned. I was cursed with braces for two years in middle school.
RJ stood up and reached out his hand. I grabbed it, feeling his warm hand against my cold one. His hand completely enveloped mine as he helped me to my feet. He towered over me. My head reached only to his chest. His chest was big; it pushed through his shirt making it look too tight. The shirt was hugging his biceps tightly, making them stick out below the sleeves.
The light blue shirt made his skin look even darker. They were opposing shades, and they matched well together. The khaki shorts did the same thing. I tried not to stare too long before moving away from him, but I couldn’t help it. He looked like a photoshopped male model. Why did he like me?
I was only five feet tall. I wore a size 30A bra, which were impossible to find, by the way, because they’re so small. Guys like RJ didn’t even look in the direction of girls like me, yet he made it clear that he was going after me. What awful Rom-com was I a part of?
RJ
Parker’s dad shook my hand before I walked out their front door. “You’re a good kid,” he said. “You’re welcome here anytime.”
“Thank you, Mr. Williams,” I replied. “You have a wonderful daughter.”
“Call me Kenton,” Parker’s dad laughed. “You now have that privilege.”
Parker giggled beside me quietly. I saw Mr. Williams wink at Parker as she smiled back. Their relationship seemed so easy, as if they had all the trust and respect in the world for one another. Her dad could be a hard ass, and I experienced that first hand, but Parker seemed like a Daddy’s Girl; in Mr. Williams’ eyes, she could do no wrong.
“I hope to see you soon, Kenton,” I laughed. “Maybe at my football game tomorrow.”
Parker turned to quiet me, but it was too late.
“Football game?” Kenton asked. “What time?”
“One in the afternoon, sir,” I replied.
“Well, I don’t have duty this weekend, so it’s up to Parker,” Kenton said, looking at his daughter.
She smiled slightly and rolled her eyes. “I guess,” was all she said. It was all I needed to be even more excited for the game.
“We’re playing for the number two seed,” I said to Kenton.
“Tough game,” he replied. Parker walked away. I laughed as I turned and watched her go into the kitchen, disappearing as she rounded the corner.
A moment later, she peaked her head around the corner and smiled. “See you tomorrow.”
I knew my smile must have looked so stupid. It felt like it was reaching from ear to ear. I wondered what Parker’s dad was thinking as I stood silently with the dopiest grin he had probably ever seen. I wanted to say, Your daughter is the most magnificent human being I have ever met, but I didn’t because we just met.
I had barely known Parker for a few weeks, and that was the first day she even remotely opened up to me. It would take some getting used to, but I thought being friends with her would be okay. Maybe we’d become more than friends. We had to start somewhere, right?
On my way home that night, I didn’t rush. I didn’t want Leighton or Landon asking me about my night. I knew they’d be home because curfew was nine and it had reached nine-thirty. Leighton and Landon always listened to our dad’s rules during football season. I rarely strayed from the rules, but I occasionally needed to be my own person. I was tired of standing in my brothers’ shadows.
The roads home were almost empty. There were a few cars, but the roads were quiet. The road had recently been repaved, so the yellow and white lines were freshly painted, making them very visible. The headlights of other cars made me squint slightly as I looked to ensure I stayed in between the lines. I was glad to turn onto our neighborhood’s road. It was a nearly empty road. Each house had a long driveway leading up to it, making it almost impossible to see any of the other houses from the road.
The road was narrow, making it so you had to pull closely to one side if another car was driving in the opposite direction. This rarely happened though, because there weren’t many people that lived on our road. There were six houses on the road, but we had the largest household. We’d lived here our whole lives, same as our neighbors, but no one else had any kids.
I was lucky to have Leighton and Landon in my life. We were practically inseparable as children. Even though Leighton and Landon were even closer, making me feel like an outsider at times, they always welcomed me. They had their own language. They were so identical that I even mixed them up when I was younger. Almost the entire year that I was seven, they had me convinced that one was the other. Almost a year I was addressing the wrong brother every single day. I’m still unsure as to how my parents didn’t catch on to this, but I ignored everyone for at least a week. I refused to speak to anyone because I was so mad. Well, about as mad as a seven-year-old could be.
Leighton and Landon were undoubtedly my best friends. We bonded over our common interest in football, and when we got older, over our common interest in girls. The twins had always been popular in school. I was often hidden behind their shadows in middle school, but that changed when they went to high school.
I was finally able to set myself apart from my brothers for that one year without them. I didn’t want people to forget about them, and I certainly enjoyed having similarities with them, but I wanted to be seen as “RJ” instead of “the twins’ brother”. Eighth grade is when I wanted to change my name. Up until then, I was still “Rayne”. I tried to go by “Ray-Jay” but that name was already taken. Instead, I decided to just be “RJ”. The name stuck, and everyone but my mother stuck with the new name.
As I began my last year of middle school, “RJ” was a completely new person. I had been popular before, but nothing like Leighton and Landon were. They had girls crawling all over them, even high school girls. I wanted to be exactly like them, but in my own way. I wanted to put a different spin on popularity. I needed every girl to like me, and every guy to want to be me. I guess I connected with Parker in that way, without even really realizing it.
Popularity came easily to my family. We were all effortlessly good at football and were always praised for our looks. Even though we barely passed most of our classes, the teacher’s seemed to love us. In a school that was primarily focused on athletics, the teachers appreciated the students that kept the championships coming.
Football was the primary sport at our high school. Baseball and soccer were close second. Both the boys’ and girls’ soccer teams won the state championship the year before. They were on track to win the next season as well.
We were second in our division for football, only one game behind the number one team. We had won the past three state championships, so we weren’t worried about being second. We had only lost our first game of the season, and we lost it to the number one team. Our team was confident, though. We wanted to make sure that the seniors, especially Leighton and Landon could say that they won every season they played in while they were in high school. The scouts would love that.
Even though we didn’t have any other kids on our street, we always had each other, and that was more than enough. We pushed one another to do better as we quickly found our love for football. To our mother’s disappointment, we spent hours outside throwing a football around as soon as we were old enough. We never complained when our dad asked us to come outside and play; it was always the most exciting part of our day.
As I turned into my driveway, I turned the volume dial to
the left, making my music barely audible. I pulled my car to the left of our garage, parking behind Landon’s. As I slowly creeped inside, the light from the TV in the living room was flickering as different scenes changed. I peeked in, noticing my dad asleep on the couch. I began to move toward the stairs when I heard him shuffle around.
“Ray?” my dad said, his voice cracking as he woke himself up.
I stopped before reaching the stairs and turned around. I walked to the living room and stood in front of my dad. He was rubbing his eyes, then he checked his watch.
“Why are you home past curfew?” he asked. “Where were you?”
“I was at a friend’s house,” I replied.
“Which friend?” my dad asked. “I know it wasn’t any of the guys on the team, because they know your rules. They’ve never had you stay out past curfew.”
“It’s a new kid,” I said. “I was just being friendly.”
“Leighton said you have been eyeing some girl,” my dad said. “Was that where you were? Meeting up with some girl?”
“Leighton needs to keep his mouth shut,” I said, trying not to raise my voice as I knew my mother was sleeping.
“Watch your tone, young man,” my dad said sternly, also keeping his voice low.
“We’re just friends,” I said. “I’m leaving it at that. I’m sorry I was home late; I lost track of time. It won’t happen again.”
“This is a big game tomorrow,” he said.
“I’m ready,” I said confidently.
“No more dropping passes at practice, either,” dad said, somehow knowing every move I made.
I nodded my head and turned away. “Night, Dad,” I said over my shoulder.
“Night, bud,” my dad said quietly.
As I walked up the stairs, I heard the “click” of the TV as my dad turned it off. The house was silent as I slowly crept down the hallway. Moments later, I could hear my dad shuffling up the stairs. He opened his bedroom door, and as he closed it, I heard it creak before it latched shut. I knew this wouldn’t wake my mom up; she was used to having loud boys in her house, so not much phased her anymore.