1 To Have His Cake (and Eat It Too) ~ Mr. Darcy's Tale

by P. O. Dixon

  “No, I did not. Have I neglected you, Miss Elizabeth?” he teased. Before she could respond to his taunt, he said, “Allow me to make amends immediately. I am about to go for a quick ride. Please join me.”

  “On horseback?”

  “Yes, of course.”

  “I will have to decline your invitation. I do not ride on horseback. I never learnt to ride. There, I am not so accomplished after all.”

  “You have never ridden on horseback, Miss Elizabeth?”

  “No, never,” she answered truthfully.

  “Then, we must address that straight away. Georgiana loves to ride, and we spend a great deal of time riding during the summer. I will simply have to teach you.”

  “As busy as you are, I would hate to keep you from more pressing matters.”

  “Nothing would give me more pleasure. Let us get started today. Since you may not have a proper riding habit, change into whatever you think is best. This afternoon, the three of us will go into Lambton to shop.” Before Elizabeth could protest, Darcy said, “Meet me in my study as soon as you are ready,” as he walked out of the room.

  A half hour later, Elizabeth and Darcy headed towards the stables. He said, “Thank you for agreeing to this without opposition, Miss Elizabeth.”

  “You make it rather difficult to say no, but I must confess I do not like horses.”

  “Why is that?”

  “I saw my sister fall from a horse when we were small children. She broke her arm during the fall. While she recovered from the experience and even went on to become an excellent rider, I never got over it.”

  “Trust me, Miss Elizabeth, you have nothing to fear. I will never let you fall, and I believe you will soon come to love the horse I have chosen for you.”

  As they approached the stables, a groomsman led a magnificent chestnut mare to them and handed the reins to Darcy. Elizabeth was reluctant to come close to the horse, so disinclined that Darcy handed the reins back over to the groom, walked over to Elizabeth and took her delicate hands into his. Purposely, he spoke very softly. “Please trust me. Georgiana was also afraid of horses initially, but I taught her to ride.” As he gently massaged the back of her hands, he said, “Close your eyes.”

  Elizabeth briefly hesitated, and then willingly went along. Darcy continued, “Now breathe slowly, calmly.” Nearly whispering, he said, “You are safe with me. I will protect you. I will always protect you. Do you trust me?”

  Elizabeth shook her head in assent. Darcy continued. “Please do not be afraid. This first lesson... all of your lessons will go smoothly.” Continuing to stroke the back of her hands with his fingertips, he said softly, “I will take my time with you. We will go as fast or as slowly as you wish. If at any time, you feel we are moving too fast... that I am rushing you... tell me to stop. And I will. I will stop. I want you to enjoy this.”

  Darcy modulated his tone to one that was even more soothing. “We have plenty of time to do this... all day... all week... all summer, if that is what it takes. This is but the first step.” Pausing a moment longer and slowing his cadence, “You feel completely safe and comfortable with me. You trust me.” Slowly caressing the back of her hands and each of her fingers, he continued, “I have chosen the gentlest mare in my stables for you. She is beautiful. Her name is Bella.”

  Darcy instinctively released one of Elizabeth’s hands and gently brushed a lock of her hair to the side of her face. “I will stay by your side, I promise. I will not leave you.” After a few moments, he sensed that Elizabeth was totally relaxed. He took the reins of the horse (which the groom had brought closer). Darcy continued, “You trust me. I am right here. Open your eyes.”

  Elizabeth was so mesmerised by Darcy’s soft, soothing, yet stimulating voice, that upon opening her eyes, she was not a bit uneasy finding herself within inches of the horse. Looking at the horse and stroking her mane, Darcy said, “See Bella... she is beautiful.” Turning towards Elizabeth, he asked, “Would you like to touch her coat to feel its softness?” Elizabeth agreed. She allowed Darcy to place her hand on Bella’s neck and gently guide her strokes. Soon, Darcy released his hold upon Elizabeth’s hand to allow her to interact with Bella, while he stepped a foot or so away and drank some of the cold water offered to him by the groom.

  “She is beautiful, sir,” Elizabeth expressed, after a few moments.

  “I would like to guide you once around the stable yard. I am going to help you saddle, and I will maintain the reins to lead Bella. Is that acceptable?” he asked as he returned close to her side.

  Elizabeth silently consented. Darcy gently lifted her to place her in the saddle. After checking to see that she was properly secured and guiding her into the correct position atop the horse, he said, “I am going to lead Bella, but I will be right here.”

  Darcy guided Bella into a slow pace as he led her along the boundary of the stable yard. After a couple of laps, Darcy commented, “You are an excellent student, Miss Elizabeth.” Seeking a change of pace, he asked, “Are you comfortable with one more lesson this morning?”

  “What do you have in mind?” she questioned with some trepidation.

  “I am thinking of a slow gallop.”

  “How will we manage that? I am not ready to do this without you. How do you plan to keep up?”

  “Let me show you. Now, close your eyes again... and trust me,” he responded. She did as he asked. Darcy climbed atop of Bella, behind Elizabeth.

  Elizabeth did not hesitate to open her eyes once she realised she was practically sitting in Darcy’s lap. She protested, “Sir, I do not think this is proper.”

  “Relax. I am the teacher after all. Believe me, this is an acceptable technique. Now close your eyes. I will tell you when to open them. Trust me.”

  Once Elizabeth closed her eyes, Darcy prompted Bella into a slow gait. After a few circuits around the yard, he set out on a path that led to one of his favourite spots. He brought Bella to a halt and asked Elizabeth to open her eyes to the view of a beautiful Grecian love temple situated beside a rather large pond. The temple was a large circular structure with an open, airy design that boasted six imposing stone pillars and a black domed top, surrounded by a variety of shrubbery bushes and flowers. Inside, there was a purposefully arranged iron seating set. Elizabeth was so delighted that she did not protest Darcy’s actions in taking her far beyond the stables. He dismounted and helped Elizabeth to get down. After securing Bella, he offered his arm to Elizabeth, and they walked to the temple.

  Elizabeth expressed with utter delight, “This is the most beautiful place!”

  “Yes, it is one of my favourite places. I thought you would enjoy seeing it. I often come here when I am overwhelmed and in need of solitude.”

  “You have granted me access into your private sanctuary. What shall you do if I begin to come here often?”

  “I would not worry about that. Your eyes were closed. Besides, you can only get here on horseback.”

  Darcy spoke at length on the history of the temple. His grandfather had commissioned its building as a tribute to his grandmother. Darcy related some of his childhood memories associated with the spot. Seeing that side of Darcy amazed Elizabeth. She resisted the urge to stare at him. His entire demeanour changed. As she listened to him speak enthusiastically of his love for Pemberley, she considered that he was arresting, engaging, and pleasing. She wondered, Who is this man, and what has he done with Mr. Darcy?

  Soon, Darcy decided it was time to head back. After assisting Elizabeth onto the saddle and again guiding her into the correct posture while furthering her lesson by explaining his actions, he mounted Bella. He leaned in closely to her ear and whispered, “Close your eyes.”

  “No, not this time,” she responded defiantly.

  “Then, prepare yourself for a most thrilling ride.”

  “But I trust you, sir.”

  “I promise you will not regret it,” Darcy said as he positioned Elizabeth closer to him, much closer than she was before, and ur
ged Bella into a fast gallop. Elizabeth found the excitement of the ride, in combination with the sensations Darcy evoked in her with his hand positioned securely around her waist, as exhilarating as he had suggested it would be.

  Still holding her close as they approached the stable, Darcy spoke softly into Elizabeth’s ear, “Shall we have another lesson in the morning?”

  “I think it will be best if Georgiana joins us for our next lesson, sir,” she demurred, somewhat bewildered.

  “If you insist. I am at your command,” he submitted.

  As he reluctantly relinquished his hold, Elizabeth asserted, “I shall remember that the next time I am summoned to your study.”

  ~ ~ ~

  Elizabeth had come to enjoy Darcy’s company immensely. She liked him very much; perhaps a little too much, she thought. As hard as she fought it, she could not stop herself. She trusted him. She was certain he would never violate her trust. However, despite his words to the contrary, Elizabeth was sure every rule of propriety had been broken on the morning of her riding lesson. She would not think about that; instead, she would simply enjoy the friendship he seemed willing to offer and not expect more. As long as he does not expect anything more of me, she considered. As for her newly discovered regard for Mr. Darcy, that would be her secret. She would not allow him or anyone else any indication of her increased admiration.

  Darcy had begun to suspect that Elizabeth’s regard for him had improved significantly. He knew it would be difficult to mask his love for her, now that they were at Pemberley. Indeed, his conundrum was great. There was so much that he wanted to share with her. How could he without raising her expectations? He loved her too much to do anything that would hurt her. Darcy concluded it would help if he kept his hands off of her, and rather, focused upon their growing friendship. That was the only way to proceed. He would have to be content to touch her, caress her, and revere her body solely in his dreams.

  Darcy spent the following weeks attending to both Georgiana and Elizabeth. The remaining horseback riding lessons were conducted in Georgiana’s company. Soon, Elizabeth became accomplished enough to ride on her own and explore the sites of Pemberley on horseback, along with the Darcys.

  He also began to share breakfast daily with Elizabeth, after her morning walks. He scheduled his days to spend parts of the afternoons and have dinner with the young women. This meant working late into the nights and often early in the mornings.

  In spite of their best intentions to mask their increasing regard, especially from each other, Georgiana soon came to realise that not only did Darcy have strong feelings for Elizabeth, but Elizabeth was beginning to care for him, as well. Georgiana was at once both excited that the two people she loved most in the world might be falling in love with each other, and frustrated that they were too stubborn to admit it. While she refused to do anything to interfere, she decided she would allow the two as much time together as necessary to come to their senses.

  As much as Georgiana enjoyed horseback riding, she elected not to take part in many of their planned excursions to allow Darcy and Elizabeth to be alone. In the days leading up to Elizabeth’s birthday, she even expended considerable time and effort to organise a celebration picnic, only to feign illness on the day of the event. She had worked, along side of Mrs. Reynolds, to plan an intimate luncheon in an open field of fragrant orchids and wild-flowers. The servants were not to remain once everything was set up.

  Therefore, Elizabeth found herself to be relaxing on a blanket, in a beautiful and private setting, alone with Darcy. On that occasion, Darcy removed his jacket and loosened his cravat as he also relaxed on the blanket, but at the opposite end, in an effort to protect Elizabeth’s sensibilities, as well as his own. They just finished eating a light fare when Darcy handed Elizabeth a beautifully wrapped gift.

  “Happy birthday, Miss Elizabeth.”

  Elizabeth knew of Darcy’s generosity and delight in presenting gifts to Georgiana, so she was not caught off guard by his gesture altogether. She expected a small, insignificant trinket, but upon opening the box, she was stunned to see two lovely pearl bracelets.

  “Sir, I cannot accept this gift. It is too much.”

  Darcy smiled. He reflected upon how it was nothing compared to what he would have preferred to give her. “Of course you can. This is a gift from Georgiana and me, to you. Georgiana selected it.”

  “But sir, I am your employee.”

  “You are more than an employee to me, Miss Elizabeth. Let me help with this,” Darcy said as he reached for the bracelets. He took his time as he was securing them on her wrist, rousing Elizabeth’s sensibilities with his intimacy.

  “They are beautiful. Thank you,” she said, as she held them up for inspection.

  “It is true you know. Yes, you are Georgiana’s companion, but you are also her dearest friend. You mean a great deal to me, as well. Other than Georgiana and Richard, there is no one other than you with whom I feel closer.”

  “Not even Mr. Bingley?” she teased.

  “That is different.”

  “How so?”

  “It is just different.” He contemplated a moment and then tentatively, yet softly stated, “I hope it is acceptable that all I can offer is friendship, Miss Elizabeth.”

  “Why Mr. Darcy, are you afraid of raising my expectations?” she responded in a haughty voice, aiming to emulate his own.

  “Perhaps,” he expressed rather cautiously.

  “Well, do not worry. I know it is only a matter of time before Lady Matlock finds the perfect match for you,” she teased, wishing to lighten the mood.

  “Oh, I am not worried about that.”

  “Why is that? I am certain it is her greatest goal in life.”

  “It is quite simple. I know my duty to my family, but I will marry someone of my choosing, or I will not marry at all.” Wanting to do nothing more than to change the subject, he said, “Let us speak of other things. Shall we discuss books? You and I have not sparred since our arrival at Pemberley.”

  “I knew it was my impertinence that you found irresistible,” she spoke in jest, prompting Darcy to chuckle. She continued, “So which book shall we discuss today?”

  The two settled upon a book they had both read recently and a lively debate ensued. Soon afterwards, Darcy and Elizabeth began reading their own books. Darcy appeared more interested in Elizabeth’s book than he was in his own. She seemed quite amused, judging by her smiles and quiet laughter.

  “Why are you so amused?” he could no longer resist asking.

  Elizabeth read the last passage of her book again, out loud. “You find that amusing?” he asked, doubt evident in his voice.

  “Here, see for yourself,” Elizabeth stated as she pointed to the next humorous passage while handing him her book.

  “No, read it to me,” Darcy insisted, refusing the book.

  Elizabeth proceeded to read several pages. After a few minutes, she observed that Darcy appeared quite relaxed. In fact, he was fully reclined on the blanket with his eyes closed and his arms positioned behind his head in support.

  “Excuse me sir, but why am I entertaining you?” she asked brashly.

  “Is it my fault that I find your voice wonderfully pleasing? I could listen to you all day.”

  “I am sure of it. I might say the same of you,” Elizabeth responded daringly.

  “Fair enough,” he said, as he reached for the book. “It is my turn, madam. Sit back, relax, and listen to the master.”

  The two continued in that fashion for nearly a half hour, as they enjoyed seeing who could best pantomime the book’s characters and mimic their voices, before they realised it was time to head back. They arrived back at the house to find Georgiana in the music room practising. She raced over to embrace Elizabeth and admire the bracelets. She apologised profusely for missing the picnic and promised to make it up to her during the special birthday dinner she had planned.

  ~ ~ ~

  The arrival of the Bingleys, specif
ically Miss Caroline Bingley, interrupted the tranquillity of the Pemberley household. She arrived like a storm and immediately assumed a proprietary air as she descended the splendid halls, much to the dismay of the entire staff, including Mrs. Reynolds.

  Caroline had her sights set on Darcy. Given her standing as the sister of his close friend and, thereby, her frequent presence in Darcy’s beloved home, she felt she had a particular relationship with him. What other potential rival for Darcy’s affections had ever graced the halls of Pemberley? That in itself signalled a special place in his esteem, she believed. Imagine her indignation when she learned that Elizabeth resided in the family wing! Caroline herself always resided in the opposite side of the great home in the guest wing, when she visited. At first, she was positive that it was Georgiana’s doing. However, after observing the interactions between Darcy and Elizabeth during the first couple of days of her visit, she began to wonder.

  The misguided young woman was used to Darcy’s focusing upon Georgiana, almost to the exclusion of others. Now, Darcy appeared equally solicitous of Elizabeth, much to Caroline’s dismay. She had not come all this way to play a secondary role to the hired help.

  It did not take long for Darcy to realise that Caroline was exhibiting the same petty attitude towards Elizabeth as she had in Hertfordshire. Darcy marvelled at Elizabeth’s ability to outwit Caroline at every turn. The fact remained that she would always be a gentleman’s daughter, even in her position as Georgiana’s companion. That trumped Caroline’s status as the daughter of a tradesman, regardless of her wealth and connections.

  Darcy also suspected Caroline was jealous of his attentions towards Elizabeth, because she was even more solicitous and possessive of him when Elizabeth was present. Ever willing to sacrifice, he decided the least he could do was to remove himself from Caroline’s company to limit their exposure to each other, for Elizabeth’s sake. Therefore, Darcy encouraged Bingley, and at times Mr. Hurst, in activities that allowed them to spend as much time apart from the women as possible.