The Vineyard at Painted Moon

by Susan Mallery

  She knew that the worry and stress weren’t helping. She had to figure out a way to get control. She had to decide on a first step, then the next one and the next one. She was thirty-eight years old, she was healthy and she was good at her job. That was a start. She needed to get off her ass and come up with a plan.

  She’d spent the last two evenings reading articles online with subjects ranging from her rights in a divorce in Washington State, to how long it would take—a mere ninety days, assuming neither of them contested the settlement—to dealing with the emotional aftermath. She felt vaguely more knowledgeable but no more settled. Adding to her stress level was the question of her work. Did she stay? Did she leave? And if she left, where was she going to go and what was she going to do when she got there? Work for another winery? Buy a winery?

  That last thought had been keeping her up nights. She’d tried to dismiss the possibility, but like the idea of the divorce itself, once thought, it couldn’t be unthought.

  Could she, would she, should she? Her own winery. There were so many things she wanted to do that Barbara had never agreed to. Styles she’d wanted to try, new trends in blending. At the same time, she’d wanted to play with going more old-school with some of the wines.

  She rose to her knees and plucked a grape from the bunch closest to her. It was still hard and sour—more than two months from being ready. But the promise was there.

  This she knew, she told herself. This was who she was and this was going to save her. She couldn’t count on Rhys or Stephanie or anyone but herself. She wasn’t a part of Bel Après—not really. So what did she want? What was her legacy? Was she willing to just work for someone for the rest of her life, or did she want more?

  Rhys had told her the postnup would give her about two million dollars. That was enough to buy a small winery. Or be a down payment on a larger one. It was options and a safety net and very possibly the start of a dream. She could accept what was happening and do something positive or she could whine and complain and make herself sick with worry. The choice was hers.

  “I don’t want to live like this anymore,” she whispered, coming to her feet. “I won’t live like this. I want love and passion and something that matters to me.”

  She looked around. Vineyards stretched out to the horizon, the even rows a testament to the meticulous care they received. This was her passion, she thought. It always had been. This was who she was. She might lose everything else, but she wasn’t going to lose that. She refused to.

  Dropping the grape to the ground, she started back for the truck. Before sliding behind the wheel, she stopped to trace the Bel Après logo on the side. She was still dealing with a ton of crap, but right now the weight of it was just a little bit less than it had been.

  When she reached the highway, she headed for Walla Walla. The sun was high in the sky and the afternoon was hot. A good day to grow grapes, she thought. She turned toward town, then made a quick right turn when she spotted a sign for a used car lot.

  A first step, she told herself. That was all she had to accomplish today. One small step. Tomorrow, she would make another. That was the only way she was going to get through.

  She climbed out of the truck and looked around. An old man walked over, smiling as he approached.

  “Afternoon,” he called. “You looking for a new ride?”

  She sucked in a breath, then smiled back. “I am. Either an SUV or a pickup. I want low miles and four-wheel drive.”

  Two hours later she was the proud owner of a late-model Jeep. After parking her work truck in its place by the offices, she took a golf cart to her house only to realize she wasn’t sure who could give her a ride back to the car lot to pick up her Jeep. She and Stephanie weren’t exactly speaking and Rhys was working. She didn’t have any friends outside of the Barcellona family—something she was going to have to deal with, just not now.

  She considered her options for a second before crossing the courtyard to Four’s house. As she circled to the rear, she passed wind chimes and a miniature stone circle. The back steps were covered in hand-painted tiles. Mackenzie knocked once, then let herself inside.

  “Four, it’s me,” she called.

  “In the kitchen.”

  She walked through the mudroom and found her sister-in-law collecting flour and sugar. Several empty muffin pans stood on the counter, along with bowls overflowing with fresh blueberries.

  Four smiled. “The first of the season. It will be a few more days until they’re at peak ripeness, but these ones are good for baking. I’ll bring by muffins later.”

  “Thank you.” Mackenzie glanced around the kitchen. “I need a favor. Are you already into this, or can you take a break for about an hour?”

  “I haven’t started yet, so I’m available. What’s up?”

  Four wore a pretty summer dress. The pale flowy fabric was covered in rainbows and unicorns. She’d pulled her long hair back in a ponytail and had on dangling earrings shaped like green beans.

  She was the youngest of the siblings, the most artistic and the one who made Barbara insane. Mackenzie had always liked her, and she admired Four’s willingness to be exactly who she was, consequences be damned. While Stephanie was her best friend, Mackenzie and Four were also close. Mackenzie was godmother to her three children. She showed up for school plays and birthday parties. On the first day of school, she walked the kids to the bus stop.

  What if all that was lost? What if she wasn’t around for Galaxy to show her a new hair ribbon or to see Zeus’s latest frog find? What if there were no more art projects or nights spent lying on a blanket to look at stars?

  Four’s breath caught, then she rushed forward and pulled Mackenzie into a bruising hug.

  “Breathe,” her sister-in-law told her. “Breathe deeply. Pull in the essence of the universe and exhale the broken pieces.”

  Mackenzie managed to laugh. “I appreciate the hug if not the advice. What are you talking about?”

  “Whatever’s bothering you. Tell me what happened.”

  “Rhys and I are getting a divorce.”

  She braced herself for judgment or anger or for Four to step away. Instead her friend just held on, offering comfort and warmth.

  “I’m sorry,” Four said at last.

  “Me, too.”

  Four stepped back and sighed. “I’m not surprised, but I’m sorry.”

  “Why aren’t you surprised?”

  “Neither of you has been happy for a long time. There’s no connection between you. You don’t fight because that would require a level of passion you don’t have anymore.”

  Mackenzie stared at her. “You didn’t want to share any of these insights with me a year ago?”

  “Would you have listened?”

  “I don’t know. Maybe.”

  Four smiled. “You make your choices in your own time. We all do.” Her smile faded. “You’re not just leaving him, though, are you? I’m going to miss you so much.”

  Mackenzie fought tears. “I don’t want to leave, but I don’t know if I have a choice.”

  “You don’t. Bel Après isn’t right for you. My mother has spent the last eighteen years using your talent while trying to control your spirit. That was never going to work. You deserve so much more.” Four reached for her hands. “Know that whatever happens, I’m your sister and I love you. I’ll always be there for you and I know you’ll always be there for me and my family. I trust you completely.”

  The words were comforting and welcome. For these few minutes, Mackenzie felt nurtured and loved. If a part of her wished Stephanie had responded the same way, well, she was going to have to get over that.

  “Thank you,” Mackenzie said, drawing in a full breath for the first time in days.

  “You’re welcome. Now how can I help?”

  Mackenzie laughed. “At the risk of sounding like one of yo
ur kids, I need a ride.”

  * * *

  Stephanie wondered if she felt as bad as she looked. She hadn’t showered in two days, she’d barely left her bedroom. Now as she sat in her kitchen, sipping coffee just after seven in the morning, she tried to tell herself she had to get over herself and do the right thing. Only she didn’t seem to want to listen.

  Her phone buzzed. She glanced down and saw a text from Carson.

  Hey, Mom. Checking in. Things are great. I pitched a perfect 6 innings yesterday. Love you.

  Despite everything, she managed a smile. At least she’d done one thing right. Carson was a good kid. Avery probably was, too, and she would notice just as soon as her daughter let go of some of the attitude, but as for the rest of it...she was a hideous human being.

  She’d realized that at about two in the morning, had cried, stomped around her bedroom, then cried some more. But no amount of self-loathing was going to change what she’d done and now she was stuck having to fix it.

  Only she was just weak enough to want to pass over that part—the apology—and go back to how things were with Mackenzie. Except she couldn’t. There was a big, fat problem in the way, and that problem was her and what she’d said.

  She forced herself to her feet and went upstairs. One shower and a change of clothes later, she was feeling half-human. She came out of her bedroom and saw Avery in the hall. Her daughter looked at her.

  “Mom, what’s wrong?”

  “Nothing.”

  “You’ve been crying.”

  “I know, but it’s not anything you did.” She tried to temper the words with a smile. Avery didn’t look convinced.

  “Do you want me to do something?”

  The unexpected offer gave her a brief respite from the voice in her head chanting endlessly that she was slime.

  “Get better grades and tell me I’m your best friend?”

  Avery grinned. “Anything else?”

  “I’m okay. Just some stuff. I’ll figure it out.”

  Avery surprised her by moving close and giving her a quick hug. “If you need me, I’ll be around all day.”

  “That’s sweet. Thank you.”

  Avery nodded and went downstairs. Stephanie pulled her phone out of her pocket and sent a quick text before she could talk herself out of it.

  You home?

  Yes.

  I’ll be right over.

  She waited but there was no response to that. She would guess that Mackenzie wasn’t sure what to say—especially after how Stephanie had gone off on her the last time they’d spoken.

  “It’s going to be different this time,” she promised aloud before following her daughter to the first floor.

  “I’m going to talk to Mackenzie,” she called, heading for the front door. “Then I’ll see you at work.”

  “Okay.”

  Once outside, Stephanie inhaled the already warm air. It was going to be a scorcher—temperatures well into the nineties. Mackenzie and her crew would be prowling the vineyards, looking for signs of stress. Some heat was good for the grapes, but too much, too early could be a problem.

  She walked the short distance between the houses, trying to figure out what she was going to say about the divorce. Rhys’s confession had completely changed her perspective and made her sad. Two people she loved most in the world had been in pain and she hadn’t known.

  She walked up the three stairs to the front door and let herself in.

  “It’s me,” she called.

  “In the kitchen.”

  She walked in that direction, stopping when she saw Mackenzie.

  Her friend looked as bad as Stephanie felt. Pale and thin, with shadows under her eyes. They stared at each other, then Stephanie rushed toward her. Mackenzie did the same and they met in the doorway, arms wrapped hard around each other as they hung on tight.

  “I’m sorry,” Stephanie said, tears filling her eyes. “I’m sorry. I was terrible. I said awful things and I made you feel bad. I wasn’t there when you needed me. I don’t know how that happened. All I could think of was myself and how the divorce would affect me, which is wrong and makes me feel like a worm. I won’t do it again. I swear. I love you so much. I want to be there for you. Please, please believe me.”

  Mackenzie continued to hold her. They clung to each other for a couple of minutes before stepping back and smiling. They were both wiping away tears.

  “We’re a mess,” Mackenzie said. “We need tissues and coffee.”

  “Any liquor?”

  “It’s seven thirty in the morning.”

  “Not in Vienna.”

  Mackenzie laughed. “You are right about that. How about some toast, instead?”

  “I’ll eat toast.”

  They sat at the island, each on a corner, their knees bumping. Stephanie squeezed Mackenzie’s hand.

  “I really am sorry. I was so wrong. I reacted without thinking and I hurt you.”

  “It’s okay.”

  “It’s not. I’m going to do better.”

  “I appreciate the apology.” She reached for a tissue and blew her nose. “It’s been a hard few days.”

  “I’ll bet. What’s going on? Are you and Rhys talking about anything? Are you fighting?”

  “No fighting. Some talking.” She got up and poured them each coffee, then put bread into the toaster. “I’m trying to adjust to what’s happening. I’m not surprised but it feels really fast, if that makes sense.”

  “It does.” Stephanie hesitated. “Is the divorce a sure thing?”

  Mackenzie nodded. “Rhys is more than ready and I’m getting there. I thought about asking him to go into counseling, but there isn’t anything for us to save. Not really. We haven’t been truly married in a long time.”

  Stephanie thought about her brother’s confession that they no longer slept in the same room or had sex, then wasn’t sure if she should mention that.

  “So what are you going to do?” she asked instead.

  “Get a divorce lawyer. Figure out my life.” She faked a smile. “You know—the easy stuff.”

  “Are you going to keep working at Bel Après?”

  Mackenzie hesitated and Stephanie felt her stomach knot.

  “You’re not.”

  “I don’t know,” Mackenzie told her. “I haven’t decided. I’m pretty sure Barbara would keep me on, regardless of the divorce, but then what? That’s what I’ve been thinking about. Do I get an apartment in town, or even a condo, and drive here every day to do the job I’ve been doing? Do I want to be an employee here for the rest of my life? Before I felt like I was part of the family, but without that, what do I have?”

  A legitimate question, Stephanie thought, trying not to be bitter. The fact that she’d never bothered to get her own life in order wasn’t anyone’s fault but hers. Even if having Mackenzie leave made her feel trapped, again, not her friend’s problem.

  “Would you go to work somewhere else or start your own thing?” She sat up straighter. “You have money. From the postnup. It’s probably a lot of money. Could you buy a winery? That would be great.” She got up and collected butter and jam from the refrigerator.

  “Maybe.”

  The toast popped and Mackenzie put the slices on a plate, then placed it in front of Stephanie.

  “What does maybe mean?”

  Mackenzie resumed her seat and picked up her coffee. “I don’t know what to do. I don’t like change. I want things to be how they’ve always been.”

  “Don’t you ever think about having your own label, making all the decisions without my mother breathing down your neck?”

  Mackenzie’s mouth turned up. “I have fantasized about that.”

  “Well, sure. So make it happen.”

  “There’s a lot more to running a winery than just growing grapes. I d
on’t know the business end of things. Maybe it would be better to go work for someone.”

  “You’d hate that. It’s the same as you have now. I’m encouraging you to think about buying something. You’d do great.” Stephanie was proud of herself for meaning the words.

  “Thanks. Your support means a lot. I’ve hated us fighting.”

  Stephanie nodded. “Me, too. I’m sorry. I won’t be stupid again.” She paused. “Okay, I’ll probably be stupid, but I’ll do it in a supportive way. You matter to me. I love you and I don’t want to lose our friendship.”

  “I love you, too. And I want to stay friends, no matter what.” She paused.

  “You’re thinking of my mom,” Stephanie said as she finished buttering her toast.

  “She’s not going to be happy.”

  “It’s not her life. She doesn’t get a say.”

  Mackenzie nodded. “I wish things had been different. Rhys deserved better than he had.”

  “Didn’t you?”

  “Yes, but it’s easier to worry about him. We both let go of what was important and we lost it.” She set down her coffee. “Thinking about the future is terrifying. It’s this void and I don’t know what’s going to happen. Since college, Bel Après has been my home. I don’t know how to be anywhere else.”

  “Come live with me,” Stephanie told her. “I have an extra bedroom on the first floor. There’s a bathroom and everything. You’ll have me and the kids and you can stay as long as you like.”

  Mackenzie’s eyes filled with tears. “Thank you. That means a lot. I may take you up on that.”

  “You should. We’ll have fun together and it will annoy my mother. A true win-win.”

  Mackenzie chuckled. “One day you’re going to have to figure out how to get along with her.”

  “Oh, why start now?”

  Mackenzie took a slice of toast. “I bought a Jeep. It’s black and kind of cool looking. In high school, I drove my grandfather’s car and then I married Rhys and I always had a company truck, so this is the first car I’ve owned.”

  “Congratulations. Good for you.”