You After Hell

by Manuela Ricci

  "Which room do you mean?" His eyes do not look now but I just stare at me, they are reflected in my dimly. I have to tell him everything.

  I begin with explaining the friend request on Facebook, the name is going to come out of myself spontaneously from the mouth, but then the memory of his voice and the words he spoke before I left that room leads me to omit that detail.

  "You can not say anything to us, you come of your own free will. I have your posts that asked me to come and see you. I'm a lawyer, remember. I should win anyway, in fact I have already won"

  Arrival to the point where I enter the room number 23, that number will haunt me forever. Every time I appear in any form or manner under my eyes, will evoke in me the damn night. Noha, she puts her hands over her ears.

  "Enough ... enough Medyson, from here on I will not have the strength to listen»

  "Sorry," I sigh, I removed a weight maybe, or maybe I've created a greater. He slides along the body of the car. It sits on the grit of the road and I follow him. His elbows are resting on the knees, elbows planted on and hands to support his head. It seems be his too heavy at this moment, to remain standing alone.

  "You never told me his name"

  "I do not know," turns shooting at me and instinctively lowered his gaze losing myself in those little pebbles deposited under my eyes. I need a drink, I can not breathe.

  "Sure you do! Why do not you tell me? You can not get away with it, do you understand? "Shot in the foot. Noha follows me.

  "I can not, do you understand? I CAN NOT! "I imagine already the all local headlines and what they would be able to make my parents to cover up the news that marchierebbe the good name of the Walker family.

  Noha grabs me by the wrist making me turn towards him. I wriggle. I do not want to be touched, nausea comes over me while I see his hands touching me.

  "It's me, look at me Med 'order, my eyes see only his hands clasped my wrists. In my mind I see them rise above the head, then the ping of the trouser belt clashing.

  "MED, LOOK AT THE FUCK AM I!" He shouts, and I could hardly raise my eyes to his.

  "It's me, just me ..." he adds, his voice is calmer her hazel eyes are shiny.

  "Help me ... Help me please," I surrender to his chest, to all those tears that I held with difficulty throughout this period.

  "Of course I'll help you ... do not leave you ... I do not leave you more»

  I feel him stroking my head, I feel like a little girl who wakes up in the middle of the night, terrified by a nightmare. The difference is that my nightmare really is my life. What every morning, looking in the mirror reminds me of who I am and what happened to me.

  "Your know?" Murmured and I detach myself from that embrace a moment, I shrug and I just shake my head in denial.

  "You have to tell him, you know?" He said seems easy to him. His mother would realize even if you cut the hair of one centimeter, although it is thoughtful. My parents are not like that, I never have been and never will be. There are those who decide to be a parent and those who accept it with resignation. I belong to the second band. "Accepted for resignation"

  "My mother thought to have a virus or something. I have not even noticed that I'm running out of their whiskey reserves. Imagine, then if I told you only ruin their cruise. They leave today, "I realize at this very moment that I'm alone, in fact, always have been, except that I had him, Cox and especially Kylian. If he were still here ... He would take care of me, yes, I know I would.

  "You can not be alone Med '

  "What?" I ask, back to reality.

  "I do not want you alone. I come and stay with you as long as you do not fall from the cruise»

  "I do not want to..."

  "No I'm asking, Med, maybe you do not understand a shit! If you expect me to go back home as if nothing had happened to you ... well nothing '... then you do not know me, and you still do not understand that ... "Let the phrase to fluctuate between our eyes. I can not argue, because now that I know, I need him. I take the car and he her, she says she will be around seven. At that time my will already be gone. Consuelo has taken a week off, my advantage that would be out. At five I find myself alone, I take a shower, but as I get back in the room wrapped in the towel let it fall to the ground and go back to wash. I feel the skin burning under the sound of the water is very red, but I have to continue, are not yet clean, no .... I never tired, I l ' only thing that really manages to calm down. He puts the blacks leggings and a white t-shirt, which was the first in the stack of the closet. direct descend to the cabinet and begin to poke. Consuelo, dammit.

  I can not find the bottles, must have them hidden. I run my hands through his hair still wet, and I begin to reverse everything. Break a photo that threw against the wall, depicting the fake happy family. The sound it produces that object shattered against the wall like. So continuously, I take a pot and let it fall to the ground. The pottery and scattered everywhere.

  Ribalto a small marble column which only serves as a support for a stupid plan, and then I continue with my research because now splitting those things does not give me the same pleasure. Where you can put them?

  I think in the meantime you step in front of his room. I step back and open the door that is strangely locked. I'll get one of my room, I think it should work. Soon after effects are in, and I find the last four remaining bottles inside his closet.

  I lie down on his bed and I open the bottle in a frenzy. The smell of liquor immediately invades my nostrils, but when I feel my chest burn I'm better. A sip after another everything disappears, becomes lighter. Every thought is free, away from the head. The sound of the bell disturbs me, is so irritating, sounds continuously from now ... I do not know, I'm too drunk to quantify the time.

  "There 's no!" I shout raising her head from the pillow, I drink a sip, then after more insistent sounds I decide to get up. Staggering down the stairs and I am going to open the door with the bottle in his hands.

  "Coming, coming ..." I mumble.

  "Med ...» Noha, looks surprised me with eyes that almost the strabuzzano bulging.

  "Sorry ... but I started to celebrate without you ..." I say back to him, he rips me the bottle from his hands. I turn suddenly.

  "What are you doing? Do you see? You're drunk and did you- looks around, sees everything split in earth- Why have smashed all this stuff? "I reproach me. I laugh at her look so stunned.

  "Because this is the new Med" I say sarcastically, spreading his arms as if I was putting on display under her eyes for the first time.

  Chapter

  14

  Zac

  "Headphones are the alternative of Ali"

  I leave the car at the beginning of the alley, I do not want Courtney see where I live, even though I know perfectly well that he does not expect a house like hers. Appearance that descends and goes to sit in the driver's side.

  "At half past eight I do find here, all right?" He says.

  "No, send me the address of the restaurant is better ..." I say nervously, not for her but for the neighborhood itself. In the evening it is not very recommendable that someone like her laps around here. He nods with that smile on his face that makes space. The I put a chaste kiss and watch him again.

  Throw an eye timetable. I must hurry. It accelerates the pace and once at home, are so absorbed in my thoughts that I did not realize Ian lying on "my" bed.

  "Where you been?" He asks, flicking her ... our favorite music magazine.

  "I can explain everything later? I have to take a shower ... to dress decently ... "I wonder what we're going local, I do not think I have a Tom Ford in the closet for the occasion.

  "Such as? where do you have to go?"

  "Courtney introduces me to his father," Ian He rolls a bit 'eyes, my raise them to the sky.

  "It's not what you think, you idiot. I do not have time, but if all goes well, at the end of the evening there will be good news for you! "I grab the flight of the closet a blue shirt with short sleeves, the only one I have, beca
use I do not like at all the shirts and a pair jeans, lingerie and I put in the bathroom.

  "Ian, you're done again the hot water!" Cursing cry under the icy stream. I hear him laughing amused. Bastard

  I get dressed and in the meantime Courtney sends me the way of the restaurant, unless and checking on Google Maps, I notice that not far from home.

  I arrange my hair with a line on one side. It looks like a dandy. I wear them all pulled back but the result does not change.

  So I go for my usual, dry and unkempt, I want to do only a good impression for the work I need more than anything else, but also for her.

  Who would have thought that it would be plunged a person like her in my life and in a short but ... no time I would have found myself in trouble on the look?

  When I go out, Ian throws an eye and throws the newspaper on the bed, laughing.

  "Bravo bastard, laugh, laugh. It so happens that the undersigned dressed so well for your ass, "a sarcastic comment and follow him in the laughter. In fact I used to my style all t-shirts and shorts.

  After three quarters of an hour immersed in city traffic it is at the entrance of the restaurant. I stay in the car staring at the luxury hotel that stands facing the ocean. I never went into places like that, I've always just admired the aesthetic from the outside. Get up jerk, there can do it.

  I throw out a little 'air, say relax, bullshit. Once through the entrance to a guy, it gives me the "you" and takes me to the table after telling him my name. I foresee that Courtney greets me sitting at the table. I saw a while ago, but it looks more beautiful than before.

  "Sorry I'm late," I say with his throat without any kind of salivation.

  "Dad, he's my friend Zac. Zac, he's my father "

  "Richard, please." I hold his hand and introduce myself as a fool, since he has done Courtney. I'm a disaster. The tension begins to subside, after the second glass of wine.

  "So, Courtney told me that you are a real talent ..." comments but I notice something in the tone in which he says that it does not convince me.

  "Let's say that I love the music and I handle it well," I admit, without exposing myself that much, even though I know perfectly well that the way to produce the bases of common sounds is not a thing at how simple.

  We continue the conversation on the subject, so I begin to explain how they used to move on the field. Since sound, and things like that seem to get his attention, but not to Courtney. All he does is stay on the phone to massage and I have to admit that the clicking of her nails tapping on the keyboard begins to bother me.

  "Dad, because tomorrow you do not come to the studio? So you see the work "he suggests, the father flaunts a moment and then nods.

  "I'm curious indeed. We'll alert boy, you amaze me, "I do not have time to answer that Courtney intrudes again.

  "Excuse us then, but now we really have to go," I turn to try to figure out if he's being serious, shell at me and I try to humor her.

  "Excuse me," I whisper, but his father smiling at me warmly and we set an appointment for the next morning to study.

  Courtney walking mailed that I can barely keep up.

  "Tell me what's wrong? You all night on the phone ... so I thought ... "

  "Sorry, the phone was Noha. I've got to get there, can you come with me please? "Its not a question but it seems almost a prayer and the expression that his face I see is seriously concerned.

  "Sure," I say, I put my hand on his back and expect that one of the ports parking his car. During the trip, the look in the guide to how hectic, your hands are too close to the steering wheel and the music is too loud, as if to chase away any thoughts from his head, I know too well that feeling of mental evasion.

  As soon as we enter the driveway, I look away from her and instantly recognize quell'abitazione. A shiver runs through the spine and back to mind her face drenched in fear and emptiness of those eyes. In recent weeks I have often wondered how it was that girl and what, exactly they had done, even though it was clear enough.

  "Who lives here?"

  "My friend ..." whispers just, I can not think that the girl I brought here is a friend of Courtney.

  "Do you mind waiting a moment in the car?" She adds, I would simply nod, I see it going down and with difficulty reached the front door. I knew that ultimately were not on good terms, I wonder if he knows what happened?

  Medyson

  I hear the sound of a car in the driveway, to recognize it anywhere, for all the times that I got.

  "Who the fuck did you call?" Growl against Noha who he rushes to open.

  "What?" I hear her ask, and at that point, albeit unsteadily I rise from the couch, where Noha has forced me to sit down.

  "Look at 'who's here? My best friend ... no, maybe I'm wrong ... if you were my ... "

  "Are you drunk?" She says with such disgust, his eyes seem to many needles pricking me in every glance. I've never been a girl to bring me in this state. But the end is not so bad, because I do not feel anything, all pain has vanished.

  "Yes, I'm drunk and so what? Why do you keep looking at me that way? "

  "Stop Med» Noha intervene in his defense of course, and then I think of Kylian, how would defend me in this fight. I know that would surely reprimanded for Courtney essersela taken to overpay for a simple statement. She was silent, and we all ended up laughing after his long and exhausting speech. Yes, because he was a bit 'talkative about it, a bit' .... like me.

  "Why are you laughing now?" He pointed out.

  "You woke up with the wrong foot? You'll can also go as far as I'm concerned, "I mumble, and I let myself slip on the couch.

  "Maybe it's better," he says with a hint of bitterness.

  "Go back to your perfect life!" He adds, making the gesture with your hand to drive her away as if it were a silly bug.

  "Better my life that your ..."

  "Cox!" Scolds Noha. Shooting in feet and stagger no longer, arriving a few centimeters from his face. Noha gets in the way, but this does not prevent me to yell at her what I think.

  "Oh, yes? Then I remember when your mother if neither went with another, leaving you and your father was me. I did it to help you to accept Darcy. I was me who were crying on the shoulder. I the one who was sleeping in your room and reassure you that one day everything would pass. Cox always There was me and you? You where the fuck were you? When they raped me in a hotel room? Where were you when I was trying to scream, but I could not because those filthy hands me his mouth shut themselves up. Where were you when ABOVE THAT ARE DEAD BED? "

  Both remain silent, my heart pounding in my chest as if to almost scoppiarmi out.

  The door opens and I see it, is not he? His eyes jade color collide with mine. They look at me the same way that night, which saved me. Because maybe I would never have got home that night.

  Chapter

  15

  Medyson

  "Words are weapons and they do evil.

  You must know how to use.

  They sink leaving indelible scars ... "

  Courtney looks ahead to him.

  "Excuse me ... now we can go," he says with confidence, as if my confession, the portrait of my life into pieces he had not even touched.

  "Cox," recalls the Noha, surprised as I was by his "no reaction."

  "What's up? You do not want to believe her? "Says, pointing with disdain but ostentandosi to look in my direction. At that moment I hear the ground that it fails under foot. How can saying it seriously?

  His gaze does not take away from my face, I see that his mouth is going to squint, I know what he wants to do. Incline your head slightly and shake slightly, my eyes are wide open as to frighten him. Serra below the mouth and I close my eyes in gratitude because they have confessed to helping found the street that night.

  "Let's Zac!" Continue Noha and stands in front of her trying to reason with her, I only hear a faint hum, do not listen to their words. I do not want to think that she did not believe me, I do not want to think about it, beca
use it hurts more than I can already feel the wound.

  "ENOUGH!" I blurt, "Cox put off by the balls" that we exchange a look as a blade, cutting the air around us. He precedes and takes her hand bringing it on. Noha turns to me embarrassed as I have never seen.

  "Get out now!" I shout, I know you think like her are always united on everything, maybe later he will call to laugh at me.

  "I'm not going anywhere!" Thunders advancing towards me and I step back, I'm afraid of myself right now. Any balance in my life, all certainty is broken, without giving me the time to really realizing it.

  "Go away ... I'm not kidding!" Continuous, throat hurts for all the screaming that the scratch. I take a crystal ashtray on the table, one of the few things that are still intact inside the living room. The launch with all the strength I have inside, with all the anger and disappointment that can exist in one body.

  Noha, he manages to dodge it by little and breaks in the wall behind him. His eyes look at me in disbelief, my hands are worn as an automatic gesture to his mouth. I want to talk, but I can not, I can not. I see him coming a short distance from me. I raise my hands, I want to reject it, I held my wrists in his hands in silence.

  "WHY?" Scream lifting his head toward the ceiling, as if someone up there could give me an answer. Why me? How long will this pain? I can not tell if it's just pain or something bigger, I just know it hurts. Does it take your breath, oppresses and seems to crush you under its weight.

  His head leans against mine.

  "I do not ... know," his answer in a whisper. Eye to eye, loosened his grip and I give her in his arms. He takes me in his arms, posandomi one hand behind your back and one below the knees.

  I do not ask what he's doing, I no longer have the strength to speak. We enter in my room, my face is still leaning on his shoulder, I see that leads me to the bathroom. It leaves me sit on the marble sink. It opens the shower and shortly after the saturated steam throughout the room.

  "I look beyond ..." I nod and start to undress, they are misted, step out and see reflected an image that is not mine. Despair takes hold of me, I carry a hand to his chest and jot down all the tears that still manage to make its way on my face.