Fierce-Ella (The Fierce Five Series Book 5)

by Natalie Ann

  Not that she was thinking Travis would be long-term material. He was the horse she was going to saddle back up on to get her bearings back. Or that was what she kept trying to tell herself.

  When the doorbell rang, she wanted to rush forward but took a deep breath and forced herself to walk calmly to it and open the door.

  There he was, bigger than life. Bigger than her brothers. Bigger than even her father, and her father had always been the largest man in her life. That was what she’d always been attracted to—what she’d been surrounded by so much—but it seemed whenever she found someone to meet her standards physically, they were just plain lacking mentally and emotionally.

  “Jeans again. I like this look on you,” he said.

  “Thanks.” She wasn’t about to tell him she dressed this way because he’d said he liked it. She’d told herself a long time ago to never change who she was for any man, but the conversation with her brothers from the meeting this morning was lingering in her head making her wonder if being rigid and inflexible was just another thing holding her back in her personal life.

  “Do I get to see your place or is that off limits?”

  “Come on in,” she said, opening the door wider and then shutting it behind him.

  She walked him around her townhouse showing him the first floor. Not that there was all that much to see, as it was pretty open. She had an office closed off and a half bath, but the living room, dining, and kitchen were all seen from the front door.

  “How many bedrooms upstairs?” he asked.

  She lifted an eyebrow at him. “Three bedrooms, two baths. One bedroom was converted into a huge closet though,” she admitted, to see what he’d say. If he’d think she was high maintenance like so many others had.

  “Sounds practical with your wardrobe,” he said with no condescending tone at all. Hmm.

  “I like to shop.”

  “We all have our weaknesses,” he said, winking at her.

  “What is yours?” she asked, happy that he just seemed to accept that about her.

  “You don’t think I’m going to tell you on the first date, do you?”

  “I was hoping you’d share,” she said and found herself smiling at him.

  “There it is,” he said.

  “What?”

  “Your smile that you never show me. You’re just beautiful when you relax. What are you always so tense about?”

  “That’s probably similar to why you left the Navy. I mean that type of conversation.”

  “Then let’s go to dinner and talk about it.”

  “You’re actually going to tell me why you left the service?” she asked.

  “I don’t know yet,” he said. “It’s complicated so we’ll see how the night goes.”

  The night was going well. The car ride there was short, but enough that they talked about the bar and the brewery. He had some interesting questions and she liked to talk about the family business anyway.

  They were seated at the table and each had a beer in front of them. He didn’t act surprised when she ordered it rather than wine. She’d even joked about it and he’d said, “I’d be more shocked if you didn’t drink beer since you own a brewery.”

  “So, do I seem all tense right now?”

  She hoped not. She’d convinced herself that this was the best way to get her mother off her back. That taking this step and starting to date—even if it was only a few dates with someone—was enough for her mother to realize she was trying. Once she’d convinced herself of that, it was easier to relax. It’s not like Travis was a stranger to her.

  And physically he ticked off all the boxes.

  “Not at all. I guess I’d like to know why you had a sudden change of heart about me,” he said.

  “What does that mean?”

  “Come on, Ella. You’ve barely looked at me for years. When we talk you’re short, like you’re in a hurry for me to get on my way. All of a sudden we have an odd conversation in the grocery store and you want to go on a date.”

  “You brought it up first,” she said, trying not to be defensive.

  “I did because I read more in your actions and eyes during that conversation than any other time. I took a risk.”

  “I agreed with that risk.”

  “But you haven’t said why. I’d like to know.”

  She debated telling him and decided on the truth. “I know you can keep a secret. So, here goes. My mother found mates for all my brothers. Aimee, Nic, Jessica, and Alex. All four of them were hand selected by her.”

  He spit the beer out that he’d been drinking. “You’re joking.”

  “I’m afraid not. I figured it out by the time Jessica and Mason met. No need to go into it all. I cornered her when it came to Cade and Alex. She hasn’t fully admitted it, but she didn’t deny it. Then last week I told her not to get any ideas and try to find someone behind my back. So, we went shopping and she just started introducing me to strange men in the mall, stating I was single.”

  He burst out laughing. “God, I love your mother.”

  “Everyone thinks she’s so funny, but they didn’t have to live with her.”

  “I can assure you she didn’t find me for you. I’m probably the last person your mother would pick out as a mate for you.”

  She frowned. “My mother’s not snobby. Why would you say that?”

  “I’m just saying the two of us are like night and day.”

  “Not really. I mean I thought so, but we’re not. Not only do we both lead healthy lifestyles, but we also both work a ton of hours.”

  “I’ll give you that one. You’re as organized as I am too.”

  “Really?” she asked. She didn’t think anyone was as detailed as she was. At least that was what everyone told her her whole life.

  “Discipline is shoved down your throat in the service.” She was going to ask if that was why he left, but he said, “So you think going on a date with me will get your mother off your back?”

  He wasn’t smiling or laughing right now. Instead, he almost looked offended. “Sort of. I mean I haven’t dated in years and I just thought if I told her I was getting back out there and trying, maybe she’d leave me alone.”

  “I’m not going to be used so you can manipulate your mother.”

  Yep. She’d insulted him. She’d been used enough in her life and the last thing she’d ever consider would be letting anyone else feel her pain.

  “I don’t mean it that way. I mean I have to start dating again. I should. I’ll never find anyone if I don’t try. I’ve known you for years. We’ve got a few things in common.” She swallowed and decided to put it all on the line right now knowing that he’d appreciate she was doing so. That maybe she was showing a vulnerable side that she hated doing. An offering, in her eyes, that she was serious about this. “I’m attracted to you. I figured it wouldn’t hurt to see if it could go anywhere.”

  He held her stare and she held her breath. The two of them were looking at each other intensely. She hoped that he took what she said to heart. That he believed her. That she wasn’t trying to insult him.

  That it took a lot for her to say she was attracted to him when she’d barely given him the time of day for years because she was secretly intimidated by him and fearful of rejection.

  “If we’re being honest, then I’ll say I’ve been attracted to you from the first day I saw you. And I’ll also tell you I left the Navy after my fiancée died while she was pregnant with my daughter.”

  Dropped Her Guard

  Later that night Travis was sitting on the couch staring at the ceiling.

  He wasn’t sure if he was going to tell Ella about Julia or not. He sure the hell hadn’t planned on telling her on the first date.

  But he’d seen her face and seen her struggle to be upfront and honest with him. To find the courage to work beyond the nerves he’d never witnessed until this past week. She was damn good at hiding things and he wondered why she’d suddenly dropped her guard.

&nb
sp; Because of that, he felt it only fair to be honest back.

  She didn’t ask him any specifics about the situation. She didn’t even ask Julia’s name.

  All she said was, “I’m so sorry, Travis. I had no idea.”

  “It’s not a secret, but not something I share openly with people either.”

  “I won’t say anything to anyone,” she said, reaching her hand for his. He felt the heat from that light touch start at his fingertips, then race up his arm and smack him in the chest like a wet rag to the face.

  It was abrupt and it was powerful and he knew beyond a doubt Ella Fierce might be his downfall.

  All those things aside, he pushed through the evening as if he didn’t just drop that news on her the way he had and she pressed on like it was still something she didn’t know about him.

  Surprisingly they had plenty to talk about between some of the jobs he’d done, her business, and her brothers. They even talked about people in the bar they were seated at and the news around the world. He’d like to think she was impressed that he wasn’t some dumb jock, but she’d never let on one way or the other.

  They’d talked nothing about themselves personally though. Not after the few tidbits before he put a downer on the date.

  By the time he dropped her back off at her place, she was hopping out of his car, saying thanks, and shutting the door like there was a ghost on her tail. So much for being a gentleman and walking her to the door and trying to steal a kiss.

  Hell, he would have been lucky to get a hug out of her at that point.

  Now he supposed she would go back to the way they were before and barely make eye contact with him. Looked like she got on her horse, decided it was lame, and slipped back down before she could kick her heels and put him in motion.

  It was a little before nine and he wasn’t even close to being tired, so he picked up the remote and flipped around trying to find something to watch. When there was a knock at his door, he went to see who it could be.

  “Dad,” he said. “What’s wrong? Why are you up?”

  “I’m always up at this time.” His father made his way in and sat in a chair, so Travis returned to his spot on the couch. “I saw you pull in and since it’s an odd time for you to come and go, I figured there might be something going on.”

  His father lived next door. He never thought he’d want to buy the house next to his childhood home, but he had when he was in the service and his father cared for it while he was gone. It was the right thing to do when the house became available and if there was one thing he always did, it was the right thing.

  At least he thought so, but he was guessing some people wouldn’t think that now. Probably Julia’s parents on a bad day. Or the nightmares he woke up with that haunted him more than he’d ever admit to anyone.

  “Not much,” he said. “How’s Mom?”

  “Not a good day.”

  He wondered if that was why his father came over. That he wanted to talk. His mother had been in a nursing home for a few years now. She had Alzheimer’s and it was just too much for his father to care for anymore.

  That was another reason he came home from the service. His father couldn’t run the business anymore and care full time for his wife. There’d been a time when the Navy was where he was hiding after Julia. Then he grew a pair and decided to man up and leave. It couldn’t be his life anymore when it was being blamed for Julia’s death by some. Or maybe that was all in his head because it seemed all he did was put the blame on everything that pertained to him.

  Not many cared that it was where he needed to be. Where he felt at peace. Where he felt the strongest. Then again, he was in a place he felt the strongest when it all happened—and ended up being the weakest.

  There’d been nowhere to hide in his life at that time. Nowhere to turn where something wasn’t haunting him.

  He couldn’t save his fiancée. He couldn’t help his mother. The career he loved so much was always going to make him wonder if he could have saved Julia if he’d just done what she’d asked. He talked about not wanting to carry burdens anymore, but guilt was one he’d always have like an anchor around his neck tightening when he least expected it.

  Like on a first date with a beautiful woman.

  So he left the Navy and decided to just lock it all away and try to do the best he could without opening himself up to anything else. He’d been so numb at that point, it was best to push on with work and building the family business he knew would become his. He just never expected to be doing it so young.

  But a year later Carol McKinley was too much for even his father to handle and they’d made the tough decision to get her better care. His father spent most days sitting with his wife in the nursing home, talking with her, playing cards, or watching TV. Doing all the things they did before she’d forgotten her husband. Before she’d forgotten she had a son. Before she even forgot her own name.

  There wasn’t much Travis could say. He knew there were more bad than good days now and his father probably wanted a distraction more than a shoulder. More than a conversation on whether his mother would get better, which they both knew would never happen.

  “I was out on a date tonight,” he said, deciding he needed to tell someone and there was no better person than his father.

  “That’s good. You need to get back out there, Travis.”

  “I’ve been out there,” he said.

  “You’ve been having sex. That’s not looking for a relationship,” his father argued.

  There was no use denying it, though he’d never said those words before to his father and didn’t know what prompted them. “Why do you say that?”

  “Because this is the first time you’ve told me you’ve had a date. Normally you just say you’ve been out. I’ve never once seen a woman come to this house since Julia.”

  “There hasn’t been anyone,” he said.

  Julia had never even lived in the house. Nothing more than staying a few nights here and there. Travis had bought the house when his mother was first diagnosed and hoped that when he was home on leave he could be close by to help out. That he could do anything to lighten the load and burden on his father.

  His father only nodded his head. “So what’s so different about this woman?”

  He started this conversation, he might as well finish it. “It’s Ella Fierce.”

  His father laughed. “Is that wise?”

  “Why?”

  “They’re a client. A big client. You’ve never dated a client before.”

  He’d slept with one before but didn’t say that. “Nope, I haven’t. Seems we both had a thing for each other and decided to try a date. Don’t worry. It didn’t go over so well, so I doubt there’ll be another one even if I had a relationship in my mind. I’m not sure what’s in my mind if you want to know the truth.”

  “Why’s that? Aren’t you good enough for her?” his father asked, his voice rising.

  “No clue. I never thought so, but she asked me out.”

  “Then she’s too high maintenance for you?”

  “Not really. Not like I thought she’d be. We talked a lot. We have a surprising amount in common.”

  “Then what’s the problem? No chemistry?”

  “I’m sure there’d be chemistry if we got to it. Let me ask you. How did you end up getting their business?” He didn’t care to go down the attraction, dating, sex road with his father. No matter how much of a friend his father had been to him in the past few years, he was still his parent.

  “I used to go to the bar when Gavin first opened it up. It was a good place for a drink after work or even to meet with a client. Gavin and I would talk from time to time while he worked the bar over the years. Sometimes your mother would meet me there and we’d have a drink at the end of the night with Jolene too.”

  “I don’t remember you going there,” Travis said.

  “It was before your time,” his father said. “Or before you’d remember. I went a few times when you were
in high school but not often. Anyway, when they needed security, Gavin called me. You know the story behind what happened with Brody and the investigation into the bar. Gavin didn’t want too many to know and he felt he could trust me with that information.”

  Travis knew the story. His father had told him all about it and every detail on all the other clients they had. Since Travis took over, the client list grew with his security expertise and Navy contacts. His father wasn’t aware that not all the clients were getting security systems anymore, but rather looking for information. Sometimes he wondered if he’d turned into a private investigator and had to rein it back. Of course, he liked having a bit of a challenge now.

  He wasn’t in the service anymore and high risk Intel didn’t need to cross his desk. He didn’t need the risk, the headache, or the reminder of why he’d failed Julia. But sometimes he just needed a little more of what he used to have. A reminder maybe of what he’d loved at one point and sacrificed for.

  “It’d never go any further. They know that.”

  “It was a good business move for me. They were my first huge contract even so late in the game for the business. There were other bigger, and probably better companies Gavin could have gone with, but I think I sold him on you and your background and how the business would go to you within a year. I wanted to be upfront with him that I would be retiring and you’d made the decision to come home.”

  He didn’t want a reminder of that time. “It’s always the best policy, being upfront with people.”

  “I think so too. So with their name and your background, you’ve grown this business into more than I could have ever imagined, Travis. I’m proud of you.”

  His father didn’t say that to him often, but he’d always known it. “Thanks. Ella asked why I left the Navy,” he blurted out.

  “You told her about Julia?” his father said, stunned.

  “Not everything. Just that we were engaged and she died while carrying my daughter.” He’d never told his father about any of his internal struggles. He’d never told anyone.

  “How did she react to the news?”