by Natalie Ann
“Nothing ever messes with her head when she puts the ice queen face on. You saw it.”
Travis’s hands were itching to reach for the guy and lift him in the air, but he held back, knowing that wasn’t the way to go. What he wanted was information and insight into what might have happened in Ella’s past to make her wary of relationships. He was thinking he found the cause right here in the form of a used-up salesman.
“What I saw was you coming onto her home turf and poking at her. Cause and effect. That was what you were after and you got it. Or was it that you’d seen what a success she and her family turned into and decided that maybe you could see if she was interested in you again?”
Tyler narrowed his eyes and Travis knew he hit it right there. Something had gone on between the two of them and no one in her family knew. Whatever it was, Tyler was trying to cash in again, just reminding him of what Ella had been saying for years. That someone always wanted something out of her.
“I don’t know what she told you about us, but I’ve got no interest in her,” Tyler said, backing away. “I get it, she’s taken. Message heard loud and clear.”
“Make sure you remember it then.”
He walked back to his truck knowing he got enough information, just not enough to put everything together.
Tackle This Demon
Almost a week had gone by and Ella was still stewing over Tyler’s appearance in the bar. It wasn’t a coincidence at all, she knew it. Everything Tyler did had a purpose, and the question was, what the hell could it be this time?
With a little bit of detective work herself and some social media snooping, she found out the apartment complex that he lived in and decided to pay him a visit.
If she didn’t tackle this demon full on, she’d never be able to put it behind her.
She was stronger now than she was back then and she was going to be damned if a ghost was going to keep her from putting one spiked heel in front of the other.
Taking the elevator to the fifth floor, she got off and made her way to apartment 508 and then knocked hard enough to sting her knuckles.
Tyler opened it up quickly and she bit back the laugh that was bubbling in her throat.
Long gone was the jock that she’d had the biggest crush on. The one that was throwing out all the signs of wanting a relationship with her. He’d played her well and played off her weaknesses.
He was standing there now in old sweats with a hole in the knee, his hair standing up in spots and a beer can in his hand. Not even a Fierce beer at that, but some cheap one that came twenty to a box that he and his friends guzzled for fun to see who was the biggest man.
“Ella,” he said. He wasn’t smiling like he was the other night. Matter of fact, he looked a little nervous. Good. Though those nerves didn’t stop his eyes from devouring her and making her skin crawl. She wished she’d changed into jeans rather than coming straight from work in her power skirt and heels. “What are you doing here?”
Damned if she knew.
That was wrong, she knew and she was determined to see this through so that she could get past it. “Why did you seek me out in the bar the other night?”
“I told you, I’ve come in hoping to see you before.”
She didn’t believe it. Not with their history. He’d wanted something before and she was guessing he did again. “You could have asked about me at any point and never did. You had to know Brody worked the bar.”
“I didn’t think about it. I wasn’t sure if you’d want to see me.”
“I wouldn’t have,” she said bluntly.
“Then why are you here?”
“Because I want the truth out of you. I wanted it years ago and had to find out the hard way. This time we’re both adults so tell me the real reason you were there. I find it hard to believe you were just there to listen to the music.”
Something told her he’d been looking for her and had a purpose. She gazed past his shoulder into his tiny dingy apartment and was piecing that purpose together.
He was fine until she introduced him to Travis and her brothers came over. Then he’d changed into the prick that he’d always tried to hide from her before.
“I just wanted to see if you’ve changed. You liked me at one point,” he said, leaning his hip on the open door and crossing his arms. His shirt shifted a bit and she got a nasty glance at his hairy belly.
“I liked who I thought you were. You led me to believe that you might be feeling those same things. Then when I confessed my real feelings for you, when I said I thought I was falling in love with you and wanted to know if you felt the same way, you laughed at me.”
“I didn’t mean to do that,” he said with a pained expression on his face. He was trying to pull out some charm from years ago. It wasn’t working.
“I think you did. I think you enjoyed doing that to women. I think you liked getting someone to fall for you and hoped to get them in bed and when that didn’t work in your favor you decided to use me to get through college.”
“I’ve never used anyone a day in my life,” he argued, but his red face said otherwise. “You want to know the truth? You were hot. My teachers assigned me a tutor and it was you and I thought, holy crap I was going to score in a couple of ways on this.”
Her fingers clenched into fists and she was so glad she’d held back more, only allowing a few kisses from him back then. Maybe that was part of the problem too. She didn’t put out like she’d found out later he’d been looking for. “Well, you thought wrong.”
“You don’t need to tell me that. I barely got the grades I needed too. I’m not sure how the hell I passed those two classes.”
It was on the tip of her tongue to say because she’d told the teachers she was done tutoring him and that if they were wise they’d pass him because he didn’t give a crap anyway. Based on what he was saying, they must have done what she’d suggested to get him out of their class.
“So again, you didn’t get what you wanted back then and were pretty clear about telling me that.”
As much as she wanted to block out that day, she knew she’d never be able to. How Tyler had laughed at her after he’d gotten done kissing her. After his hands had started to roam up her back and under her shirt. They’d just finished studying for finals and she wouldn’t need to tutor him anymore, but she wanted to continue to see him.
In her eyes, they’d gotten close in those few months. He said he really liked her. He’d even talked to Cade a few times at parties, though she’d never let Cade know she felt more for Tyler. Brody visited campus during that time and she was sure Tyler met him too.
So when he laughed at her when she asked if they were going to see each other after finals, she wasn’t sure what to make of it. Or his statement of, “You’re too cold, too competitive, and have too many bodyguards for my liking.”
She’d stiffened and stood up, adjusting her shirt back then. The urge to let her hand fly across his face was massive enough that her nails were biting into her palm to stop it. Instead she did her best to put the ice princess look on her face she’d been accused of having so much and walked out on him.
She’d never seen him again on campus and he’d never sought her out. If her heart had been broken over being used like that, she kept it in. To this day, she’d never spoken a word of it. Though her mother suspected something had happened to her to make her push men away so much, Ella had never verified it.
“Sorry, Ella, but hot girls like you were a dime a dozen in those days. Once I knew you weren’t going to give it up for me, I just moved on to someone else.”
She wasn’t going to be hurt over those words now. She’d learned all about him after the fact back then. “So I repeat, why seek me out now?” She looked him over, the sorry pathetic man he’d turned into, then glanced around his tiny apartment one more time. “Running low on funds? Did you think you could waltz back into my life and try to play off my affections? Like you said before, I was too cold. Women who are cold in the
ir twenties tend to be the frozen tundra by the time they hit thirty.”
She couldn’t believe she actually described herself that way. “I can see that. Don’t worry. Your boyfriend set me straight to keep my distance from you. You didn’t need to send another bodyguard after me.”
“What are you talking about?” she asked. “Travis?”
“Yep. That’s him. Showed up at the dealership the other day letting me think he was going to buy a car. What he really wanted to do was warn me off. Did he tell you to come here and make sure I knew you weren’t available? Trust me, I got the message loud and clear.”
Now her blood was boiling, but she was determined to not let it show. “When did he stop to see you?” she asked calmly.
“A few days ago. I figured he’d told you all about it and that was why you came here. He pretty much accused me of the same thing, coming around to try to get your money. I don’t need anything from you now and didn’t back then. If you want to know the truth, I saw a few pictures of you on social media and you turned into one nice piece of ass.”
She snorted. “Tyler. I was too much for you to handle back then and I’m even more than you could ever handle now.” She turned on her heel and left him standing there watching her ass swish down the hall.
Long gone was her anger toward the man that turned her completely sour on men, because now she was ready to toss some darts at another board.
Sick and Tired
Travis was sitting at his desk programming in some new cameras when he heard heels clicking on the floor outside his door.
He went to switch the camera over to see who was coming, but she was moving faster than his fingers could handle on the keyboard.
“Ella,” he said, “what are you doing here?” She’d been to his office a few times before, but never dressed like this and never this late in the day when he’d normally be home. “How did you know I was here?”
“I drove by here first and saw your truck.”
“What’s wrong?” he asked. Her eyes were darker than he’d ever seen them before—like thunderclouds building up steam and energy to release the lightning—her fists were clenched and the muscle at her cheek was twitching. He was getting the mental image of a tiny hurricane twisting up in his office.
She grabbed his door and shut it with more force than normal. “Why don’t you tell me?” she said.
Yeah, he knew that tone and decided to not take a guess and dig a bigger hole than he needed to. “You’re the one all worked up, you can spell it out to me.”
“Tyler. You went to see Tyler. To what? Warn him to stay away from me? Did you think at this point in my life I needed to have a bodyguard? That I needed to have someone stand in front of me? That I couldn’t or can’t take care of myself?”
Shit, how the hell did she find out about that? “I never once said you couldn’t take care of yourself.”
“Yet you still went to see Tyler. Why?”
“Why did you go see him? Obviously you did, to know I was there.”
“It’s none of your damn business why I was there,” she shouted.
He pushed back from his chair fast and stood his ground. “Like hell, it’s not. I saw the change come over you in the bar last week. I saw he was the cause. I wanted to know what the hell was going on. Any idiot could see he went there to make trouble.”
“And of course being the little lady I am, you didn’t think I could handle anything thrown my way. How many times have I got to tell you I don’t need a man to stand up for me!”
“I wasn’t standing up for you,” he shouted right back. “I was trying to find out what his endgame was.”
“And you think I’m too stupid to figure that out on my own? You think I would have fallen for anything he had to say to me?”
She had him there. “What happened with you two?” he asked. “He’s the reason you don’t trust me, isn’t he? He’s the reason you’ve held men at arm’s length for years. If you dated him, none of your family knew of it.”
“Do you think I tell everyone everything in my life? Cade told you I tutored him.”
“Please, Ella. There was more to it than that. Did he take advantage of you?” If that loser took her virginity and then dumped her after he got what he wanted, he’d go back to the dealership now and rearrange his face.
“First off. No, we didn’t date. Second of all, I didn’t ask you about all the women you had a relationship with.”
Relationship. There was more to it. “You’re right, you didn’t. But I told you a lot about the most important relationship I had in my life. I told you things I’ve never told another person. Reasons why I am the way I am. Didn’t it occur to you that it had to mean something?”
“I never asked you to say those things to me,” she said, crossing her arms.
“Bullshit. You asked plenty of questions. Even if you didn’t, I felt you deserved to know.”
“Why?”
“Because I love you! And when you love someone you want them to know the reason you are the way you are. The reasons that you hate yourself some days. The reason that you gave up on all your dreams. Don’t you think I should know some of the reasons you are the way you are?” He was breathing in and out heavily now.
“I don’t need to tell you any more of my dirty little embarrassing past. I’m sick and tired of everyone wanting to know everything about me. Why I am the way I am. I told you all those reasons.”
“No, you didn’t.” He didn’t bother to address the fact he just shouted his love to her and she didn’t even blink an eye. Had he been so wrong about her? Was she really this cold of a person and he never saw it?
“I didn’t and I’m not going to now either,” she said, turning to open his door. “Why can’t you just leave the past where it is? I am!”
She slammed out his door before he could say another word.
He sat there for a good hour wondering what the hell had just happened. How he fell in love again and not only did she not feel the same way, but he pretty much just threw it away being the same idiot he’d been before.
He finally stood up and left his office, locking everything up and driving home alone. He wasn’t even in his house five minutes before there was a knock at the door.
He’d hoped it was Ella, but it wasn’t. It was his father.
“Hey, Dad. Everything okay?” He wasn’t sure he had it in him to deal with a crisis right now.
“I was going to ask you that.”
Travis walked into his kitchen knowing his father was following him. He needed a beer, but when he opened his fridge he didn’t grab Fiercely Ella. He just couldn’t right now, no matter how silly it was.
“Do you want one?” he asked his father.
“Sure. Then have a seat and tell me what is going on.”
He had no clue how his father even knew that and didn’t want to ask. It was one of those parent things, he was learning. “Ella and I had a fight.”
“Over what?” his father asked.
“It doesn’t matter,” Travis said, taking a long gulp of his beer.
“Of course it does. Love always matters.”
“Who said anything about love?” Travis said, wondering why his father could see it, but not Ella whom he’d shared so much with.
“Travis. I see it every time I look at you. Every time you say her name. The fact that she came back to see your mother two more times hoping to jar a memory for me. Someone doesn’t do that for another person unless they feel something deep enough to give them a reason.
He swallowed another swig of beer. Yeah, he was crazy to think Ella was cold. Someone that was cold wouldn’t have done that. Wouldn’t have hoped his mother would look at Ella and see Jolene again. Wouldn’t have hoped to make his father’s day so he could talk about a past memory and share something with the love of his life.
“She doesn’t seem to feel the same way.”
“I doubt that,” his father said. “Like I said, she didn’t have to do what
she did for me, but it didn’t stop her.”
“Not much stops Ella when she wants something,” he said drier than he meant to.
“So that’s the problem?” his father asked. “She isn’t tender enough for you? She isn’t weak enough? I thought you liked all those strong qualities she had.”
He felt his shoulders drop. “I do. It doesn’t mean I can’t wish I could duck faster when some of those strong tendencies are aimed right at me with lethal precision.”
“So she wasn’t happy with something you interfered with? Care to tell me what that was?”
“I’d rather not, but it seems to me that you’re doing a good job at putting the pieces of the puzzle together.”
“Lay it all out, Travis,” his father said. “Maybe you’ll feel better about it all when it’s done.”
He snorted. “I doubt it.” He told his father about Tyler in the bar that night and how he went to the dealership after.
“So you were jealous?”
“Hardly,” he said. “There was no reason to be jealous of that prick.”
“Not of him. Of the fact that Ella might have had feelings for someone at one point in her life.”
Shit, his father was right. Had that really been part of the problem? “Maybe. But she says no. She says there wasn’t anything there and didn’t appreciate me seeking Tyler out. She accused me of being her bodyguard and thinking that she couldn’t take care of herself.”
“Sometimes the truth hurts.” Someone else was taking aim at him with darts right now.
“I’m not being her bodyguard, nor have I ever thought I was.” He wasn’t going to tell his father about the clown. That was just a silly situation when he looked back now. A funny memory he’d hoped to have a good laugh about when he and Ella were older and sitting on a porch in rockers.
“Being a bodyguard isn’t all about taking a physical stance and you know that. Remember, she’s had male interference her whole life. I think she’s used to it by now and how to handle it. Or I should say how to handle her life around it.”