by Natalie Ann
“Pretty much what she threw in my face.”
“Then what is the problem?” his father asked. “Go over and tell her you’re sorry.”
“If only it was that easy.”
He wasn’t going to tell his father that he was more hurt than anything. That yeah, he was jealous that maybe Ella had loved someone else in her life. He’d suspected it and since she was being so secretive of it, he wondered if she was still carrying a torch for that person.
That maybe she’d seen the guy that messed with her head and it was going to trigger something to step back from him again. Maybe deep down that was a big part of it.
When he’d seen who Tyler was and assumed it was him that was the cause of Ella’s reluctance with men, he was kind of disgusted over her choice in men, but then realized he’d been completely wrong again. That he should have learned his lesson with Julia and tried to let the women in his life be their own person and not always want to protect them.
That maybe they could handle it on their own and he’d have to swallow his pride that he didn’t have to be anyone’s savior.
Didn’t he tell himself years ago he was done doing that? That he couldn’t put himself in that position again?
Yet he saw himself standing in front of Ella when in theory there were times she could have stood in front of him.
Not Possible
“Ella Marie, what have you done?”
“Really?” she said when her mother walked into the spare room where Ella was taking her frustration out on her exercise bike. She’d already worked out once today, but she was so pent up full of anger that if she didn’t do this, her other choice was a gallon of triple chocolate fudge ice cream. She planned on that after the workout. “Am I going to have to take your key away from you?”
“You’d never do that and you know it.”
“What are you doing here?” Ella asked, grabbing the towel and wiping her face. She’d been going at it for about an hour and should probably stop anyway before her legs cramped up.
“I brought us something. Go shower and we can talk downstairs.”
There was no use arguing with her mother. “Fine, I’ll be down when I’m done.”
She walked into her bedroom, then her bath, peeling her soaking wet clothes off on the way, then turning the water on. She stepped in before it even had a chance to warm up, but didn’t care. Her body was overheated in more ways than one.
When she walked downstairs she saw her mother sitting at the island with a big chocolate cake on the table, two slices already cut. How was it possible that her mother knew to even bring that today?
“What do I owe the extra calories to?” she asked.
“A mother knows when something is up with her kids.”
“Not possible,” she said. “I haven’t talked to you in two days.”
“No, you haven’t. That’s not very nice of you. But I did talk to Cade a little while ago.”
“And?” Ella asked.
“Then Mason called me shortly after.”
“So?” She grabbed the fork and sliced into the gooey cake that she was positive her sister-in-law Nic had made.
“Aiden baked this and asked me to bring it to you.”
Crap, she wasn’t normally wrong. She dropped her head back on her shoulders. “Why would he do that?” She knew that Travis wouldn’t have talked to her brothers over their fight. He wouldn’t dare.
“Because Brody and he had their heads together after Brody called me too.”
“Why is everyone calling you today?” she asked. Unfortunately, she was afraid she knew the answer.
“Ella. You’re all connected even though you all deny it. They sensed something was wrong with you and they all thought I’d know what it was. I figured it had to be something serious if they all called me around the same time and Aiden stopped what he was doing to make this cake.”
“I’m going to kill Aiden.”
“No, you aren’t. You’re going to thank him because this is sinful,” her mother said, putting a huge piece in her mouth. “So tell me what you did.”
“What makes you think I did something?” she asked, eating more cake. Why not, it was there and she’d planned on stuffing her face with chocolate today anyway.
“Because in all your life, only one other time did your brothers do this.”
“When was that?” she asked, almost afraid to know.
“When you were in college your junior year. I called Cade and he’d said he’d just got done checking in on you and you were in the gym working out. You’d told him you needed to clear your head so you could study better.”
“Cade always fell for those lines.” That was after she’d walked out on Tyler when she’d found out what he was really after.
Her mother shook her head. “Whether he did or not isn’t debatable. It was probably more along the fact he was afraid to approach you and when you denied anything, he wasn’t about to argue.”
“Am I really that much of a bitch?” she asked, her eyes starting to fill. Those stupid freaking tears betraying her again.
“Do you really want to know the answer to that?” her mother said, smirking.
The first tear rolled down her cheek. “I don’t want to be looked at like that.”
“I don’t believe you are as much as you think. Those that love you know the real you, but to the outside world you do come across as kind of frosty.”
“Thanks to my family,” she argued.
“They can take some of the blame.”
“You too,” she said when her mother smiled at her.
“How about your father?”
“He’s never been as bad as the rest of you guys. He’s the only one that has ever given me any space or time to do things on my own,” she said.
“That’s because he knew we were doing all his dirty work. Don’t let him fool you. Whatever his reason may have been, just remember we all have your best interest at heart. So why don’t you tell me what is going on? You’ll feel better to get it off your chest.”
It wasn’t as if she had anything to lose at this point. “Travis and I got in a fight. I’m sure it’s not going to be the first one we’ll get into.”
“What was the fight about?” When Ella just lifted her eyebrows, her mother said, “You know I’m going to stay all night until you tell me. We’ll end up eating this whole cake too while I pester you.”
She wouldn’t put it past her mother either. “He tracked down and approached an old schoolmate of mine.”
“The boy you were tutoring that showed up at the bar the other night?” her mother asked.
“Are there no secrets in this family?” Ella asked, shoveling another mouthful in. Her slice was pretty much gone at this point and she was contemplating cutting another.
“You should know better than to ask that.” Her mother picked up the knife and Ella pushed her plate forward for it.
“Fine. Yes. He thought Tyler was after me for something and he went over to warn him to stay away.”
“And how do you know this? I’m guessing Travis didn’t confess it, so that means you went to see Tyler yourself. That maybe you suspected the same thing Travis did.”
“Maybe,” she mumbled. “I didn’t need Travis to do that. It makes it look like I can’t handle things on my own.”
“Not one person believes you can’t handle yourself.”
“Obviously not. Even years ago Tyler said I was too cold and too competitive. But he also said I had too many bodyguards. Guess nothing has changed much.”
“We’ve always told you that you were too competitive, but it’s the way you were. If some man or woman didn’t like that about you, they could just walk away.”
“Plenty did,” she admitted.
“Good riddance then.”
“I always thought so.”
“Then what was so different about this guy that you were just supposed to be tutoring?” her mother asked.
She debated all of five seconds. “He played m
e,” she grudgingly said.
“And you’re embarrassed you fell for it?” her mother said, nodding her head rapidly. “Been there and done that. You aren’t the first, nor will you be the last to fall for some guy’s smooth-talking ways.”
“But I knew better. The boys lectured me enough about it. How did I let that happen?”
“Because you thought you knew better than everyone when in actuality, you aren’t as smart as you think you are.”
Her mother just loved to rub it in. “Yeah, well I didn’t catch on early enough and made a fool of myself declaring my love for someone who just wanted to get in my pants. When he realized I wasn’t going to give it up, then he just wanted me to help him pass his classes. But he couldn’t just say that. He had to lead me on the whole way like he thought I was playing hard to get.”
“Did you do anything that you regret with him?” her mother asked.
She knew what her mother was hinting at. “If you’re asking if I slept with him the answer is no. I’m not that stupid.”
“Then what’s the big deal, Ella?” her mother said.
She took a deep breath. “The big deal is I learned a hard lesson back then. That even when I’m looking for all the bad, I can fall for it anyway. That it was just another reminder that someone wanted something from me rather than just liking me for the person I am.”
“That was then. This is now. How many people have done that since you’ve been an adult?”
“Not as many as I think in my head,” she admitted.
“Because everyone grows up and some people remember those lessons they learned. You are the epitome of never wanting to be burned twice, but the problem is, you’ve built this fireproof wall around you that you can’t even fight your own way past. Don’t you think it’s time to move on? Maybe grow up yourself.”
“That’s low.”
“It is. And as your mother I’ve got the right to say that to you.”
“I suppose,” Ella said.
“So the question now is, are you going to apologize to Travis for maybe jumping the gun? Did you ever think he had a reason for doing what he did?”
“Maybe,” she said with her head down. “Oh shit!”
“What?” her mother asked, looking around at the sudden outburst.
“Travis. He said he loved me. He shouted it at me when I was yelling at him, but I was too far gone to even comprehend the words he was saying.”
Her mother smiled. “I know that haze myself. Then I think you’ve got more than one thing to apologize for. How do you think that makes him feel to drop those words to you and not hear them in return? Because I can tell you, it hurts like hell.”
“Why do you say that?” she asked.
“Let’s say your father and I had been down a few bumpy roads early in our relationship. My advice to you is to swallow your pride and go talk to him. Be honest and tell him what happened and why you feel the way you do. It might soften the blow on both of your parts.”
“In the morning,” Ella said. “I need to figure it all out in my head. I might have just thrown it all away.”
“I understand that. I know you like it all planned out, but I’m telling you, don’t wait too long. You can’t always plan out love.”
“So says the woman who set up four of her kids.”
“Well now, I said you can’t always, not that it wasn’t possible.”
Another Shock
The next morning Travis rolled out of bed earlier than normal and decided to work out harder—hard enough as if his life depended on it. In some ways it probably did. He was hoping to kill some of his lingering mood.
He wasn’t going to grovel and he wasn’t going to beg; he wasn’t going to plead either.
He wasn’t even going to take the first step. At least not today.
What had Jolene said? “That beer was named Fiercely Ella for a reason and you might need to watch your back a time or two.” She hadn’t been kidding.
He never saw that coming with Ella.
Did he think she’d be upset and maybe a bit angry if she found out what he’d done? Yeah, he supposed. Though he hadn’t expected her to find out because he hadn’t thought she’d go seek out Tyler.
Guess he was wrong on both counts.
He added more weight to the bar and lay on his back and started to lift up and back at a faster rep, breathing out and in until his arms were shaking.
When he heard his doorbell go off, he reached for his phone to see who the hell was at his front door at the ungodly hour of six a.m.
Another shock and it shouldn’t have been. Ella.
He grabbed his towel and wiped the sweat off his face. Not bothering with his shirt, he made his way to the door and opened it. He needed a better visual on his camera because her eyes were red, matching her nose, and he wished he’d known that beforehand.
“You’ve been crying,” he said.
“And you kind of stink,” she said, wrinkling her nose and walking past him.
He fought back the grin. Still as feisty as ever.
“What do I owe this visit to?”
“I’m surprised you need to ask.”
“I’m not taking any chances or making any assumptions. I’m afraid you’d just get on my back again and my shoulders are still pretty sore from yesterday.” He didn’t want to give any sign that he was happy she was here and that maybe there was still a chance for them.
“I had that coming,” she said, her eyes welling up again.
The urge to pull her into his arms was squashed like a huge spider trying to crawl up his shoe. “So let’s hash this out,” he said.
She nodded her head. “I’m sorry for a lot of things. But most of all for the way I attacked you. In my defense, I thought I made myself very clear from day one I didn’t need a man to come to my rescue.”
“You’ve got me there. I owe you an apology for that myself. The problem is, I am who I am. I can’t change that. There is something going on with you and every part of my being wants to know the answers. I took a risk that Tyler held them and went to find out.”
“I probably should explain it all to you so you don’t try to go behind my back again.”
“That might be helpful. Though I can’t promise I won’t seek information out if I feel you are in danger. I’m not promising that for anyone.”
She cracked the barest of grins. “I’ll accept that, though I doubt I’ll ever be in danger. And if I am, I’d like you to be the one to come save me. That is if you want to after we’re done talking. I understand that my words and actions may not be something you want to deal with anymore.”
He didn’t like the sound of that. “So start at the beginning and tell me what is going on.”
“I’ve told you a lot of it. A lot of why I am the way I am.”
“Overbearing brothers and mother. I get it,” he said. “I wasn’t overbearing though.”
“No, you weren’t. You never have been and I reminded myself of that last night.” She sighed. “I never got any space or peace from my family. I thought going away to college would give me that, but nope. One of my brothers had to go too. Of all of them, it ended up being Cade.”
“So that was planned?” he asked, not surprised.
“I’d been warned my parents would like that to happen, but I sort of hoped he wouldn’t get into the colleges I was applying to. Unfortunately, he got into them all. There was nowhere for me to go that he couldn’t say he wanted to go too.”
“Why not apply to some place that he didn’t? Or apply somewhere he didn’t know about?” he asked.
“Because as much as I wanted some freedom, I wasn’t going to outright lie to my parents or deceive them that way. They were paying for our education; they had a right to know where I was applying.”
“Makes sense.”
She took a steadying breath. “I got my acceptance to Duke before Cade. It had looked like he wasn’t going to get in and it was my first choice anyway. I was thrilled. Then last mi
nute, when I thought it was all set for me to be on my own, his acceptance came in.”
“And you felt like everything you wanted was gone? I don’t understand that. Duke is a huge university.”
“It is. But you’ve met Cade. You know what he’s like. He never blends into any crowd.”
“And he had a nice little reputation to go with it.” She narrowed her eyes at him. He hadn’t meant to let that slip. “You mentioned it yourself at one point.”
She seemed to accept that. “Anyway, we were making it work for the most part. I had dated a few guys, nothing serious because, well, my family and Cade always seemed to come into the middle of it. Or my own stubbornness and competitiveness at times. I get I can be a little difficult.”
He held back the snort that was dying to escape over her “little” comment. “So what made things so different with Tyler? You said you weren’t even dating. Or no one knew you were?”
“I guess both. I had the biggest crush on him back then. He was a big strong guy and I liked that. He wasn’t the brightest bulb on the tree, but he liked to party and I just figured he wasn’t applying himself to his studies.”
“I would think that would have been an even bigger turn off for you. Someone slacking off.”
“You know me well,” she said, walking over and sitting down on the couch. He followed next to her. “I didn’t think that way as much as I do now. He was attractive and said all the right things to me. I had the fact I was tutoring him as a cover and most fell for it. Little did I know that he wanted nothing more than to get in my pants. A mark on his bedpost so to speak. Kind of like Cade back then and if anyone should have seen it coming, it would have been me.”
He didn’t want to ask if that happened but wasn’t sure what else to say. “I hope you figured it out before it got to that point.”
“I did. I was falling in love with him, Travis. He knew what to say and how to say it. He knew what buttons to push when I always told myself those buttons were stuck. We got to the day before finals and when it was all said and done I’d asked when we were going to see each other again.”
Her face was turning red now, he wasn’t sure if it was embarrassment or rage. “And?”