Never Forgotten

by Kelly Risser

  I spent the last week of summer with my mom and Grandma Mary. I rarely saw my grandfather. He left early in the morning and returned late at night. I thought the life of a fisherman looked hard, but he seemed to enjoy what he did. He told me that he found solace by the water.

  Evan’s classes started already and, apparently, there was no honeymoon period in college. He told me he needed to spend almost every moment of his free time in the lab or the library just to stay afloat. I missed him, but he called every night. Mostly, he told me about his classes. I listened with growing enthusiasm. The more I learned about the ocean, the more fascinated I was. He offered to bring me some books. I told him I preferred to learn from him. “You’re a natural teacher,” I teased.

  It was Thursday night, and I was listening to Evan talk about his classes again. I closed my eyes. He had the best voice. It was smooth, with just the right amount of depth. Every time he laughed, my heart skipped.

  “Tell me something that would surprise me,” I said.

  “About me?” he asked after a moment.

  I laughed. “Well, you could do that, too, but I meant about the ocean. Something few people would know.”

  By his silence, I presumed he was thinking. “You know the exhibit on sea monsters that we saw at the museum?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Some of them exist.”

  “What? Like mermaids?” I joked.

  No,” he said, not rising to the bait. “Like the giant squid. They’ve already found them washed ashore in Asia.”

  “Really? That’s amazing.”

  “I know. It’s hard to believe that something that large lives on this planet, and only a handful of people can claim to have ever seen one.”

  “Makes you wonder what else is out there,” I said.

  “Exactly,” he agreed. “It’s getting late, Meara. I better go. We’re on for Saturday night, right?”

  “Yes, but are you going to tell me what we’re doing?”

  “Not a chance. Good night.”

  “Night.”

  I hung up the phone and glanced at the clock. It was almost eleven. Definitely time to get some sleep. Mom and I were heading into Halifax in the morning. She had her usual appointment at the clinic but afterwards, she wanted to spend some time getting pampered. We were both in need of a haircut—the real fun, though, was splurging on manicures and pedicures. We were staying over at a hotel, returning home Saturday afternoon. I was excited to spend the time with her. I felt a stab of guilt for how much Evan consumed my thoughts. My mom needed me. She was struggling with her health. I made a promise to myself to be there for her going forward.

  I more or less confessed as much to her on our drive to Halifax the next day. Mom patted my knee. “Meara, you’re a teenager, and Evan is your first real boyfriend. I’m happy for you.”

  “But, Mom…”

  “No buts. Why do you think I brought you here? If something happens to me…”

  “Mom!”

  “Let me finish.” She gave me one of her mom looks. “If something happens, you will be surrounded by people who love you.” She looked at me over the top of her sunglasses. “You are happy, right?”

  I nodded and smiled at her. “I am.”

  When we got to the clinic, a quick glance around the waiting room told me Ula wasn’t here. I wished she were. Hearing my mom’s contingency plan made me feel weepy. I wanted a friend to talk to, someone who was going through almost the same thing. Flopping down next to Mom, I picked up the latest copy of People magazine. I quickly buried my nose in it, not wanting my mom to see my tears. Too late.

  “Meara, are you okay?”

  I looked up at her. “You’re asking me? Shouldn’t I ask you that?”

  Her hair was falling out. I noticed a few days ago. She kept it pulled back under a wide headband, but it was thin and wispy, not thick and wavy like usual. That was part of the reason for the haircuts. Mom was getting hers cut short.

  “I’m fine,” Mom said. “I’m going to beat this. I did it once, and I can do it again.”

  She smiled at me. I knew she was trying to be brave. I returned the gesture, wanting to be brave, too. Deep inside, though, I worried. She was getting so thin. This morning when I hugged her, I could feel all the bones in her back.

  The nurse called her, and she stood. I jumped up and hugged her, afraid to let go. “I love you, Mom.”

  She kissed my cheek. “Love you, too, kiddo. I’ll be back soon.”

  As I watched her follow the nurse, my only thought was that I wanted things to be as they always had been between us. Everything was changing. Our relationship, our family, was something different, something new. There were my grandparents, Lydia, Katie, and most importantly, Evan. They had changed my life, in more ways than one. Thinking about all of them, I appreciated all that my mom had done for me, moving us here. I was determined that the rest of the afternoon would be just about Mom and me. With all that she was going through, I was determined to make it a happy memory.