Crush: A YA Romance Collection

by Lavinia Leigh

  They found a small table by the window in the restaurant. Millie ordered a double helping of pancakes and quickly scarfed them down, while Emmeline sucked back three cups of coffee before even touching her eggs. They lingered over the meal, knowing what was waiting for them once they got back home.

  Home, it felt funny to think about. This truly was their home. The idea reenergized her. She needed to finish unpacking the apartment and get Millie comfortable there first, and then she could devote every spare minute to the bakery—her impossible dream that had somehow come true. Millie would be heading back to school in a couple of weeks, and then she would have plenty of extra time. By her calculations, she had six weeks before she had to be open and start making money to repay her loan. Not a lot of time, but hopefully not impossible either. This was a real opportunity…if it worked. Small town coffee shops either became an institution or they failed miserably, drowning their former owners in debt.

  Before the move date, she had done a sort of crash course on doing your own renovations. Google and YouTube videos had been her best friends. YouTube had taught her how to put in a toilet, the best way to remove wallpaper, and how to change showerheads and install faucets. Emmeline still wasn’t sure if she was ready get her hands dirty, but there was no more time to waste. They walked back home, and she set Millie to work pulling her beloved stuffies out of boxes and arranging them on her shelf in her room while Emmeline pulled the living room furniture around, trying to arrange it in a way that made sense.

  A few minutes later, Millie came out with her video camera and announced that she was going to film the move. Emmeline thought about arguing, but decided against it. Stuffies could wait; her kid showing the first bit of real acceptance that their situation had changed came first, even though being filmed made Emmeline slightly paranoid. She spent the morning constantly fixing her hair, which was a lost cause. Still, she felt like she had to at least try to keep up her appearance for the camera. Who knew who Millie would show it to?

  Callum came over after the shop closed and helped until they finally had the apartment in order. They ordered Thai food, which turned out to be some of the best she had ever eaten. She had been really impressed with the food they had ordered over the past two days, and hoped that her pastries would fit in when she finally opened.

  Emmeline put Millie to bed early that night so that she and Callum could get a chance to chat, but she ended up falling asleep in his arms on the couch. She woke with a start to the sound of him snoring with the street light shining in through the curtainless window that looked over the downtown.

  She looked up at his face, unable to believe she fell asleep. He slowly opened his eyes. “Hey, you.”

  “Hey you,” she parroted back softly. She laid her head back down on his chest, wishing he wasn’t wearing his shirt so she could feel his skin on her face. He wrapped his arms around her and squeezed. “I’m sorry I fell asleep.”

  “I’m not. I didn’t have the heart to wake you. You looked so peaceful with the drool hanging out of your mouth.”

  “I don’t drool!”

  “Just a little.” He held up his fingers, measuring out an inch.

  She sat up, grabbed one of the throw pillows, and whacked him lightly over the head.

  “You better not start something that you can’t finish,” he warned playfully. Within a moment he had grabbed the pillow from her grasp and tickled her. Emmeline laughed out loud, squirming to get away. He held on tight, and they rolled around on the couch until he was lying directly on top of her. His mouth crashed onto hers hungrily, and she responded with the same intensity.

  “Mom,” Millie called from her bed. “Mom!”

  Kids always have the best timing.

  Emmeline caught her breath and groaned. This wasn’t nearly as glamorous as she had pictured in her mind when things finally heated up with Callum.

  “It’s okay,” he whispered into her ear. “I want you, all of you. Your days, your nights. I want to follow you as you get your dreams. I want a life with you and Millie. That’s what I want, and I can’t imagine any time better than this to start. This world has never promised to be easy, and we’ve both experienced more than our fair share of heartache. Things have always been messier than we ever planned. I thought I would have had the guts to tell you how much I love you long ago.”

  “Mom!”

  “In a minute, Millie!”

  Callum laughed. “I know my timing here might not be perfect, but I’m tired of waiting until that perfect moment. I should have told you before, but I was so scared that I would mess everything up. Trust me, over the years I’ve messed up plenty of relationships. For so long, I thought that taking a risk and possibly wrecking our friendship was the worst thing I could imagine. I was afraid of screwing up so badly that you wouldn’t want me to be around you and Millie. I love that girl as if she was my own. It would break me. But I can’t just let things be anymore. You’re here, the universe has brought you to me, and I want you to know beyond a shadow of a doubt: I am here. I want you. I want to spend every day with you, as long as you’ll have me.”

  “Mooom!”

  “Please, just stay there. Do not move, not one inch,” Emmeline begged Callum.

  Then she ran to Millie’s bedroom. “What do you want?” She could feel her patience running a tiny bit thin at that moment.

  “I can’t sleep.”

  “Angel Face, just close your eyes. It’s late. Your body wants to sleep.”

  “No, I want to go home.”

  “This is home.” Emmeline knelt down beside the bed and rubbed Millie’s forehead. “You’ll be happy here. I promise.”

  Millie rolled over, and a few minutes later was softly snoring once more. Emmeline tiptoed her way back to Callum. “Now, where were we?”

  “Is she okay?”

  “She is. She’s just adjusting to the move.”

  “If she’s good, then you were about to tell me that you want to spend every second with me as long as you live.”

  Emmeline didn’t doubt it, but she wanted to do this right. No jumping in and then running away. She wanted it to last, and for once she was going to make sure she didn’t say or do things in the moment she would regret later.

  “Would you take—I want to spend as much time with you as I possibly can, and we will take it from there?” Emmeline asked.

  “You’ll tell me those words one day. I promise you.”

  Chapter 47

  Emmeline was relieved that he wasn’t going to push her any further. She needed time to let everything sink in. “You are really something, you know. You do realize that I’m not the same girl you knew in high school who had no idea of what she wanted, right?”

  “That I am more than aware of, and I’m glad. It’s just that I know you. I really know you. And we both know this was a long time coming.”

  “Callum.” She paused, unsure if she wanted to know the answer to the question she was about to pose. “When did it change for you? I mean, as far as I could tell, you just flirted with me. You flirted with everyone in high school. I haven’t seen you around any girls in a long time, so I don’t know how you act around them now, but you always flirted with me.”

  “It’s never changed. It was always you.”

  Emmeline was stunned. It wasn’t the answer she expected. “I had no idea. Things might have been different all along if you had told me.”

  “I don’t know. I mean, there was one time I thought, when we were in our early days of high school, that maybe perhaps I had a shot at you, but then things changed. And then you were with Nicholas. I was so mad when I found out you liked him instead of me. I acted like a complete jerk.”

  The event was seared into her mind even after all these years. Callum had made her look like an idiot in front of Nicholas. At the time she had been so mad at both of them, but it never occurred to her that it was because Callum had liked her. Apparently, intuition wasn’t her strong suit.

  Callum left a
little while later. The house felt quiet with him gone, but that wasn’t going to last. The next morning, deliveries started arriving from the hardware store. There were the cans of paint she had ordered, and cabinetry for the kitchen. She still needed to order appliances, but figured that could wait. She was really hoping for a high-end stove and freezer, but she would have to see how much everything else was going to cost. It wouldn’t be that big of a deal to buy the cheaper one, but her heart was set.

  She welcomed all the deliveries, and then spent the morning on the walls, patching up the holes left by the previous occupant’s art work. She pulled Millie down from filming a set of birds flying outside her bedroom window to get her to help with the sanding. After three minutes, Millie was annoyed and desperate to do anything else. Emmeline finally compromised by saying if Millie worked with her for an hour, then she’d drive her by the school and register her. Afterward they could go and pick up some school supplies. Millie still didn’t look pleased, but said anything was better than spending the entire day sanding dusty drywall compound off walls.

  The school was a five-minute drive away. With only a week to go before classes would start, there were several cars in the parking lot. Emmeline practically had to pick Millie up to drag her inside.

  “Come on, won’t it be nice to see your school before you start?”

  “Fine,” Millie answered, and smiled a seriously fake smile. Emmeline groaned and tried to say all the things a parent was supposed to say, like “Think of all the new friends you’ll make,” and “This will be a fresh start,” but Millie didn’t look like she was buying it, and Emmeline just wanted to get back to the bakery and work on it. Time was slipping away, and with all those fresh supplies there just waiting to be turned into her dream bakery, she didn’t want to wait a minute longer than necessary to see the final transformation.

  The secretary introduced herself and gave them the paperwork they needed to fill out. The principal came out too, all cheery hellos and welcomes. Millie introduced herself politely, and then Emmeline stepped in and explained where they were coming from and the success that Millie had in the theater.

  Afterwards, they went to Walmart in the neighboring town and picked out the school supplies Millie needed. She seemed to cheer up as she picked out a binder and pencil case with her favourite Muppet, Gonzo, on it. Finally, they made it to the grocery store, which was desperately needed. When they got home, they were laden down with bags, and it was time for supper. Emmeline whipped up some pasta and then left Millie sharpening her new pencil crayons as she went downstairs and continued to prep the walls for painting.

  Callum was busy that night, so it was just Emmeline until Millie came down to help. They both worked late into the night. The amount of time she had spent watching YouTube videos on home improvement helped a little, but there were a few things that didn’t work as well as she had hoped. The little trick for removing wallpaper in the bathroom didn’t work at all, and within minutes she found herself peeling it off inch by painful inch. Emmeline and Millie took turns at it for the next two days, in between tearing up the old floor which revealed the original wide wooden planks. Emmeline actually squealed when she saw it. She could now just refinish these floors and return the laminate she had purchased, saving some serious money. The stove was within her grasp.

  With each day, Millie seemed more and more disgruntled about having to help, and she kept disappearing upstairs to her room. Emmeline wasn’t exactly pleased that she had to keep calling her down. She looked forward to school starting so that it would give Millie something else to think about. In the meantime, it was better to keep her busy than moping around.

  “Millie,” Emmeline called for the third time. She was hanging off a ladder with paint drops splattered down the front of her t-shirt. As she heard Millie’s step come down the stairs, she said, “Hand me that rag please, I’ve dripped paint again.”

  Millie dutifully threw it at her, and it landed at the bottom of the ladder.

  “Hey! I said hand it to me. Don’t throw. What’s wrong with you?”

  “What’s wrong with me? You don’t even care, do you?”

  The words ripped through Emmeline’s heart. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “I am not your slave,” Millie said, exaggerating the last word.

  “I never said you were. I just need help,” Emmeline said, her voice growing sharper with every word.

  “You always need something. Millie move this, Millie get that. Millie, Millie, Millie. I hate my name! Every time you call it, it’s like you want something. And you don’t ask, you demand.”

  Emmeline was completely taken back. “Listen, young lady, you do not get to talk to me like that!” She paused for a moment and tried to hold on to her temper. “We are a family, and we are supposed to support each other. That is how we work.”

  “Support each other! You just tell me to come here, do this, get that. What about what I want? What about what I need? I didn’t want to come here. I didn’t want to leave my friends. I didn’t want to leave Grammy Pernella.” Her voice cracked as she said Pernella’s name.

  “Grammy Pernella is where she is supposed to be, and so are we. Millie,” Emmeline said, trying to speak softly. “I know you don’t get it, but this is our chance to really make something out of our lives. To give you a future. So we can afford for you to go to university. I know what film school costs.”

  “Some things just may not be worth it. Sell this dump and let’s get out of here!”

  “It’s not a dump.” Tears stung Emmeline’s eyes. She wasn’t going to cry in front of Millie. She quickly flipped through the conversations she had over the past few days. Had she pushed too hard? No, yes—her head throbbed.

  “Millie, we are here, and I am not selling. Besides, it’s been in the family for so long, I’m not sure that legally I would even be allowed to do that. This is my birthright, and yours. This is important, and damn it, I am going to make something out of this.”

  “I don’t want this, I don’t want any of this!”

  Millie stormed out the front door, slamming it behind her.

  What is going on? Kids weren’t supposed to do the storming out of the room and slamming the door routine until they were at least pre-teens! Emmeline shouted after her from her precarious perch on the ladder, “You get back here!”

  Millie didn’t even turn around.

  “Dammit!” Emmeline cursed. She hastily climbed down the ladder, knocking the paint can as she did. It fell to the floor with a bang, spilling wet paint everywhere.

  “Dammit!” she said again, annoyed for not putting the drop cloth down. She grabbed it, smearing light pink paint into the original dark wood flooring. She ran to the door, yelling, “Millie, get back here!” and then ran to the sink, where she filled a dirty plastic cup with water and grabbed a few tea towels that were laying on the counter. She poured the water on the smeared paint.

  “Millie! Come back here!” Emmeline didn’t know what to do. If the paint dried on the floor, she was going to have a heck of a time to get it off. She smears the towels around again and then gave up.

  God, she was making an actual mess of everything.

  She ran out the door to look for Millie. She looked down both ends of the street, but couldn’t see her daughter. It had only been a moment. How could she have disappeared so fast? It wasn’t like Millie to be so openly defiant. Emmeline was losing her mind, that was all there was to it! A list of possible places her daughter could have run to flipped through her mind. She dismissed each one. Millie was still getting used to the town; she could be anywhere. She didn’t have any favourite spots to go yet, let alone hiding places.

  Where is she?

  This wasn’t Millie’s fault. It was stupid, really. Frankly, fighting with your kid for any reason is stupid. Emmeline had always prided herself on being a soft place for Millie to fall when she had a bad day, when bullies picked on her, or when she tried something and failed. Today, s
he was more of a hard, prickly place.

  Millie is a good kid, she rationalized. She’ll be back. Emmeline breathed heavily, trying to regain her confidence. She ran back inside, put her shoes on, and left the front door swinging behind her as she went out.

  Parked cars lined the street; she glanced between a few in case Millie had slipped between them. There was no sign of her. She ran down the hill to look down the street that intersected the one she was on. Minutes were slipping away.

  The stores—would Millie go into the store? It was unlikely. She didn’t have any money, not even enough to buy an ice cream cone. Emmeline followed the street that passed the park with the Bandshell in it. There were people setting up inside, getting ready for a free music concert as they did every Thursday evening in the summer. She scanned the park. Toddlers ran wildly along the playground equipment, and yelps of excitement filled the air.

  No Millie.

  Emmeline clenched her fists, walking in a straight line. Her steps were measured, keeping herself from going in a full-out run and missing Millie along the way. She followed the cobblestone path along the river, past the iron bridge, toward the beach. Emmeline kept meaning to take Millie there, but hadn’t got around to it. Millie had asked over and over. She could be there. Emmeline had to check.

  As she walked, a stone that weighed a thousand pounds sat firmly in her gut. This was the first time in Millie’s entire life that Emmeline didn’t know exactly where she was. She tried to steady her breathing. Nothing to panic about, she said with each step. Nothing to panic about. It became rhythmic, like a train chugging its way through her head, Nothing to panic about, nothing to panic about. She said it so many times that it almost became one word.

  The beach was empty, with the exception of one man throwing a stick into the water so his Labrador could run after it, splashing in the small waves. She followed the curve of the beach to where it opened up again, finding only a few birds walking on the wet sand, leaving their delicate footprints behind.