Strangely enough, the realization settles me the rest of the way. The worst has already happened. I’m emotionally compromised. There’s no reason to fear it happening because it already has happened. Now all that’s left is to ride this roller coaster to the finish and hope it doesn’t hurtle me off a cliff.
I take a slow breath. “Okay.” Another breath, slower yet. “Okay,” I repeat.
It’s only then I understand what’s happened. I frown into the darkness. “Neither of you were asleep.”
“Hard to sleep when you’re tense as a brick between us,” Abel rumbles.
“I know you, Harlow.” Eli shifts closer yet, sliding his leg between mine. It’s not exactly sexual, but I’d have to be dead not to react to him touching me. Especially with Abel still tracing idle patterns on my hip and outer thigh. Eli presses another light kiss to my throat. “You don’t trust it when things take a turn for the good.”
I swallow hard. “Can you blame me? My track record proves that it’s better to expect the other shoe to drop than to believe the situation is as it first appears.”
“No, I don’t blame you.” His breath ghosts against the skin damp from his kiss, raising goose bumps over my skin and causing me to shiver. Eli’s thigh slides higher to press against my pussy. “How can I when I’m part of the history you hold up to come to this conclusion?”
I open my mouth to deny it, but I can’t lie to him. Easier to say nothing at all, but that’s the coward’s way out. “It took the two of us to get here.”
“And it will take the three of us to get out again.” His hand slides past me, and I don’t have to see to know he’s drifting his fingers over Abel’s arm. “We should sleep.”
“In a little while.” Abel moves, wedging his free arm under me so he can reach around and cup one of my breasts.
I give a little breathy laugh. “You can’t solve everything with sex.”
“This isn’t about solving things.” He plucks my nipple, and I instinctively arch back against him. He grabs my hip and pulls me back even farther, until his cock is pressed against my ass. “This is about bolstering the foundations. Sex is the one time none of us are fucking this up. We’d be fools to ignore that asset.”
Eli’s rough laugh hardly sounds like him. “Sounds to me like you just want to get your dick wet again.”
“With the two of you in my bed, can you blame me?”
“No.” Eli slides down my body. Abel brings his other hand up so he’s cupping both my breasts, pressing them together in a way that feels like he’s offering them to Eli, who lavishes my breasts with kisses until I’m writhing and reaching for him.
Abel releases my breasts from one hand and snakes it between my thighs to stroke my pussy. I jolt, and then Eli’s hand is there, too. They take turns toying with me, squeezing my thighs, dragging their fingers through my folds, spearing me with one finger and then two, and then both of them fuck me at once. It’s overwhelming in the best way possible. Abel begins circling my clit while Eli wedges three fingers into me and, after a little adjustment, flicks his fingertips against my G-spot.
I’m trapped between their larger bodies, trapped with their hands on my pussy, trapped by pleasure. And just when I think it can’t get any hotter, Abel’s voice rumbles in my ear. “You’re ours, sweetheart. No matter how bumpy the road gets, that’s the fucking truth. And tonight, we’re going to prove it to you.”
Eli nips the underside of my breast. “Ours,” he agrees. He keeps up that agonizingly good stroking against my G-spot. Abel shifts his touch, lightly rubbing back and forth over my clit with the length of his blunt fingers.
I open my mouth to say… I don’t even know what. Instead a moan erupts from my lips, and then I’m coming, clamping down around Eli’s fingers.
The bastards don’t stop.
The orgasm swells to new heights, my body locking muscle by muscle and turning my lungs to lead. I make a gasping sound that might be a curse, and then it sucks me under entirely.
Eli and Abel do one of those silent communication things again. I don’t know how they manage it when we’re all barely more than shadow, but they turn me in their arms so that Eli is at my back, and Abel pulls my leg up around his hip.
Eli drags his hand up the back of my thigh to the small of my back. Such a small touch, but so fucking tender that I can barely stand it. Just another indication of how well we’re balanced when we get out of each other’s way. Soft and hard and intense and sweet. We can have all of it. Eli kisses my neck and presses a fingertip to my ass. “Let us claim you, Harlow.”
It takes my pleasure-drugged brain several moments to understand his meaning. “Both of you?”
“Yeah.”
I’m already nodding before I can think better of it. “Yes.”
Eli rolls away for brief moment, and then he’s back, pushing a lubed finger into my ass. “Let us do all the work.”
I make a sound that might be a laugh. “That’s probably for the best. I can’t feel my legs.”
Abel cups my chin and lifts my face to his. “Better get used to that, sweetheart.” He kisses me as Eli pushes his cock into my ass.
We’ve done anal enough times that I know the drill. I shiver and relax into the penetration. He goes slow, working into me in short strokes that take him a little deeper each time, until he’s finally sheathed to the hilt. He releases a shaky exhale. “You good?”
I shift back against him, rocking a little, and grin when he curses in response. “Yeah, I’m good.” Better than good. Now that the aftermath of my orgasm is easing, my desire ramps up again. I stroke my hand down Eli’s arm. “This isn’t going to be the best position for this.”
“I know.” He gives a rough chuckle. “Hang on.” He bands an arm across my hip and rolls onto his back, taking me with him.
Abel follows us, ending up kneeling between our spread thighs. I can’t see his face clearly, but the way he drags his hand down the center of my body feels possessive in the extreme. He pauses to cup my pussy, idly pushing two fingers into me, and then his hand is gone, and Eli jerks under me. No doubt Abel is playing with his balls.
Eli curses. “If you keep doing that, I’m going to come before we even get going.”
“Have to work on that restraint.” But Abel says it almost kindly, almost like a promise.
He wraps his fist around his cock and presses it to my entrance. The slightest movement forward and he’s pushing inside me. Both he and Eli are large enough on their own, but with both of them inside me…
It’s almost too much.
I can’t catch my breath. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.”
Abel hesitates, his cock half buried inside me. “Sweetheart, talk to me.”
“You’re too big.”
He goes still for one eternal moment and then laughs. It’s a deep, happy sound, and I’ve never heard him make it before. He leans down and catches my mouth in a rough kiss. “You know how to turn a man’s head.”
“I’m serious.”
“I know.” He hesitates. “Do you want to stop?”
“Fuck no.”
“Thought so.” He gives another low laugh. “Eli.”
Apparently no further words are needed because Eli starts kissing my neck, zeroing in on the spot that makes me go melty, and reaches between me and Abel to lightly circle my clit. I’m still so sensitive that I can’t take much more pressure than he’s giving me, but after a tense moment, I give myself over to it. To all of it.
Still, Abel doesn’t move for several long seconds. “Ready for more?”
Eli sets his teeth against my neck. “You can take it, can’t you, Harlow? Just let him sink in a little more. All this cock, just for you.”
“I can take it.” The words burst out, an instinctive response. I don’t want this to stop. I don’t ever want this to stop.
“Good girl.” Then Abel is slowly sliding the rest of the way into me. I fight to relax, to simply let him do the work, but a steady pressure begins to buil
d to the beat of my racing heart. They hold perfectly still, caging me between their bigger bodies and, gods, it’s almost too much.
Almost, but not quite.
Slowly, oh so slowly, I catch my breath. “I’ve got it.”
Abel begins to move, fucking me in slow strokes. From the way Eli’s hands tighten on my hips, he can feel every inch, too. Abel gives me a wicked grin. “Next time we do this, we’re both going to fuck you, sweetheart.”
“You’re both fucking me right now.”
“No, we’re not.” He executes another slow thrust, filling me again. Over and over again. It’s too much, far too much, and then suddenly it’s not enough. I start moving to meet his thrusts, which has me sliding on Eli’s cock in my ass and, holy shit, that feels good. But it’s still not enough.
“Please.” I sob out the word.
Abel moves first, guiding us onto our sides and shoving one of my legs up and wide. He holds me easily and glances over my shoulder at Eli. They begin to move as one, easing out of me, leaving me horrendously empty, and then filling me up with both of them. I’m helpless to do anything but take it, and I’m barely able to do even that.
Between one stroke and the next, I come. I orgasm so hard, my toes curl and my foot cramps. Eli’s seated in my ass, and he curses, barely pulling out of me before his come lashes my back. Abel isn’t far behind, pounding into me and then orgasming with a curse. He kisses me and then leans over me to kiss Eli. “Shower, and then let’s switch the sheets.”
“We’re going to have to buy more sheets if we keep doing this,” I mutter.
“Worth it.” Eli stretches in one long move, and then he’s tugging me up and to the bathroom. Abel follows us into the shower a few minutes later, and when we return to the bed, it’s to find he’s already replaced the sheets.
This time, when we all lie down together, I’m too exhausted and content to do anything but sleep.
30
Abel
Happiness is a strange sort of thing. I’m normally inclined to align with Harlow’s mistrust of it, but I can’t help thinking that with the three of us finally on the same page, there’s few forces in this world strong enough to tear us apart.
In theory.
The truth is, as always, significantly more complicated.
“Abel.”
I open my eyes to find Eli on his side, his head propped on his hand. He’s watching me with a strange look on his face. “You’re heading out soon.”
“Yeah.” As tempting as it is to spend the day in bed, I need to trek out to Old Town to get their official answer today. My father would have demanded they deliver the answer to the compound, but they’re going to agree to my rule; there’s no reason to ruffle feathers with an unnecessary power play. I doubt I’ll take either Harlow or Eli for this one, though. The first impression was the big thing that mattered. Now it’s just tying up some loose ends.
“I…” He hesitates and huffs out a breath. “There’s one last thing that needs to be said.”
“Eli—”
“I’m sorry I didn’t come after you. I’m sorry I let eight fucking years go by without finding you… That I would have let more years pass.” For once, he’s not even attempting to bullshit. That raw tone is back in his voice, though I don’t need to hear it to know this is the truth.
I reach out and lightly clasp his throat. “It wouldn’t have mattered. We intentionally made ourselves hard to find, and even if you were successful, I might have killed you.”
“I might have deserved it.”
I shake my head slowly. I believed that when I first came back to Sabine Valley. I don’t believe it any longer. “No. If I’d been thinking clearly back then, I would have realized that you’d try to handle shit so I wouldn’t have to.” I stroke the line of his throat with my thumb. “Love makes fools of us all, doesn’t it?”
“That’s what they say.” His voice is so hoarse, it’s barely above a whisper. “I want to make things right.”
“We will. Harrow’s right, though. It’s going to be a long road.” I slowly retract my hand. “When I get back from Old Town, I’d like to sit down and go over some plans with you and Harrow. I want more details on the stuff you’ve already implemented, a look at the finances, and to put together some ideas for the next few months.”
His slow smile has my goddamn heart skipping a beat. Eli grabs my hand and presses a kiss to my palm. “I’d like that. I…I never dared dream that you’d end up back here, that we’d actually put into action everything we talked about when we were younger. It makes me happy.”
Is that what this feeling is in my chest? Happiness? It’s like sunshine in the middle of the night. “You might not stay happy once we start negotiating.”
“Maybe. But I’ve missed our negotiations, Abel. I’ve missed a whole hell of a lot when it comes to you.” He releases me. “You should go. Being late to meeting up with Old Town is a bad idea.”
“Yeah.” But I don’t immediately get out of bed. “I’m glad you found her, Eli. I’m glad we both did.”
We look down at Harlow, sleeping between us. The balance we never realized we needed, might have never looked for if shit didn’t get so fucked up eight years ago. I’m not one to say that everything happens for a reason, because I don’t believe that there’s some higher power out there who’s invested in humanity’s suffering. But even I can’t deny the gift Harlow is.
I carefully slip out of bed. Harlow was right last night. Her bed isn’t anywhere near big enough for all three of us. We’ll have to officially move into the other room tonight. Eli and Harlow might have some shit to say about that, some desire to create a little bit of distance now that we’ve blasted through so many walls.
Fuck that.
I have them. I’m keeping them. I’m tired of dicking around while I wait for them to come to terms with it. I brush my hand over Harlow’s head and then Eli’s and pull on my clothes. I feel his gaze on me before I make it to the door. Sure enough, when I turn around, Eli is watching me. “Take care of each other while I’m gone.”
“You won’t be gone that long. Be careful out there.” He yawns. Without his glasses and with his hair a mess, it’s like seeing him without his armor. It’s just another reminder of how well I know this man, regardless of what pitfalls this life has thrown at us. When push comes to shove, there’s one truth I can’t escape.
I love him.
I doubt I ever stopped, even if rage made that love feel a whole lot like hate for a number of years. I open my mouth to tell him but change my mind at the last moment. Now isn’t the time. He’s even more skittish than Harlow is, but at least we have enough history that he might not call me a liar to my face if I told him the truth. Harlow, though? It will take time and patience before she accepts the thing I’ve recognized since that morning when she fucked me to purge away the memory of Eli. I don’t know if it’s love, but I’ve fallen hard for her. Eventually, it will be love, as long as we don’t get in each other’s way.
Eli closes his eyes and rolls over to throw an arm over Harlow’s waist. Maybe I should feel threatened by how quickly they seem to have patched things up, but it’s just one more barrier demolished between me and the ultimate end goal I’ve decided on.
The three of us. Together in every way that matters.
I force myself to turn away from them and slip out the door. I take fifteen minutes to shower and change, and then I go down to the kitchen for coffee. It’s early, but Broderick is an early bird, and I want to sit down with him and start going over how to vet the people we need to hire to staff this place. We’re getting by on our own right now, but eventually we’ll have to start entertaining and the like, and we can’t pull off that shit on our own. I’m sure Aisling and Ciar wouldn’t be surprised if we served them grilled cheese—we’re Raiders, after all—but to play the game properly, we need the proper weapons.
That means a chef. It also means either bringing a tailor in to work on retainer or losing our shi
rt in bargaining with Old Town. I’m not quite ready to take that step, and no doubt Broderick has ideas.
Eli will have some ideas as well. I’m still getting used to the idea I can trust him. I don’t really think this is all a ploy to get close enough to strike, not when he could have sunk a knife between my ribs or shot me dozens of times in the last few days. Plus, doing something underhanded like recommending a chef who intends to poison me and my brothers puts both Harlow and the rest of the Brides at risk. He might succeed in killing us, but the other two factions of Sabine Valley would come for his blood, so victory would be short-lived.
No, I believe him when he says he wants to try. I don’t think that’s simply the past talking, but I’m being cautious all the same. I want him, I love him, but I’m gambling with more than my life and safety. I have my six brothers, their six Brides, apparently now a bodyguard and Beatrix of the Mystics. Not to mention the people who have chosen to follow me over the years, currently housed in the barracks. They’re all trusting me to guide us through.
I can’t make decisions with my heart.
Fuck, I didn’t think I even had a heart anymore.
I have the coffee going when I sense someone behind me. I don’t hear him, but then I never hear Cohen when he walks. When we were kids, Donovan and Ezekiel once ambushed him and tied a bell around both his wrists so we’d have some kind of warning when he moved around. He didn’t find it as funny as the rest of us, but then Cohen’s never had much of a sense of humor. Being exiled from Sabine Valley killed what little softness he had. Or maybe that was losing Samson at the same time. Impossible to say.
One look at his face, and I know I’m not going to enjoy this conversation. “What happened?”
He glances at the coffee. “Enough in there for two?”
“There’s a whole pot,” I say mildly. Normally, that would be enough for several people, but Cohen doesn’t sleep much, and his coffee intake reflects that. I grab two mugs and pour us each one. I pass his over. “It’s not like you to stall.”
Abel: A Sabine Valley Novel Page 21