Searching for Always

by Jennifer Probst

  "I understand," he said calmly. "I do. I was an asshole, and I was confused. About a lot of things. But I'm ready to commit to being Pinky's owner on a full-time basis. I'll sign whatever you want. Give you money."

  Anthony frowned and cocked his hip. "It's not about the money. Never was. It's about commitment. Now, why don't you think about it some more, and if you still want a dog, I'll find you one that will fit your lifestyle better. Maybe a German shepherd."

  "I don't want a shepherd," he said through gritted teeth. "I want my Chihuahua back with her stupid pink collar and sweater and bat ears and rat face. I love her, okay?"

  Stone saw the softening of the director's features, but he still didn't budge. "And I appreciate that. But you were the one who told me your shifts are endless and there's no one to take care of her. Not a good match."

  "Oh, for God's sake, man, give me a break. I take her to work with me."

  Anthony coughed. "You what?"

  "Yeah, I take her. She likes the station and the squad car."

  Anthony crossed his arms in front of his chest and looked doubtful. "Why am I finding that a bit hard to believe?"

  "Ah, fuck. Give me a minute." Stone grabbed his cell and punched in the number. "Devine? Yeah, is McCoy there? Dunn? I need you down at the Animals Alive shelter. Don't give me this shit, I said I need you now or I'm not going to get Pinky back. We need to prove she's allowed at the station and in my squad car, and the director doesn't believe me. No, just take the police cars, 'cause I need you quick. I don't care! I'll take the heat with Dick! Get your asses over here now."

  He clicked off. Anthony's mouth gaped open.

  "They'll be here in five." He stabbed his finger in the air. "And once they give you the proof you want, I want my damn dog back."

  ARILYN SCROLLED THROUGH ENDLESS pages of data and held back a sigh. She wasn't feeling her usual mojo, and all the numbers and matches and characteristics were giving her a headache.

  Ah, heck, she had to admit the real reason.

  She just didn't feel like matching anyone today. She was feeling a bit small, embittered, and whiny. The toddler voice beat through her head in an unending rhythm.

  When is it my damn turn?

  She sighed. Time to get it together. Maybe she'd cheer up once the dogs came. New fur babies were always a nice distraction, and their sweetness filled her up and gave her hope.

  Her phone buzzed. "Umm, Arilyn? Can you come out here for a moment?"

  She tried not to be bitchy, but she so did not want to meet with a client today. "Is it important? If it's a client, could you take care of it for me?"

  A pause. "Not this one, babe. Better come quick."

  She blew out a breath. "Fine. Be right there." Arilyn took a moment to breathe deep, in and out, find her center, and touch the calm. No reason to take out her bad day on someone who deserved her best. Trying to find the old spring in her step, she strolled out of her office, down the hall, and into the main reception area.

  Then stopped short.

  Stone Petty stood in the waiting room. There were two other clients there, staring at him curiously. In full uniform, looking badass and sexy as hell, he held Pinky.

  Clad in her pink sweater and bling collar, the dog looked as if she had found her nirvana. The look of complete love and trust filled her eyes and her body, and emanated in waves of endless energy.

  Pinky had forgiven him.

  Her fingers flew to her mouth and pressed against her lips. "Wh-What are you doing?" she asked.

  "I got her back." Those inky eyes were fierce, seething with raw emotion in a twist of lust, need, and determination. His muscles seemed locked and loaded, as if ready to explode in a rush and take her with him for the ride. The heat in her belly uncurled and spread through her veins like wildfire until she could only tremble, helpless under his gaze and the promise she so wanted to believe in.

  "I fucked up. I won't again."

  The room was eerily silent. Kate held her breath beside her. The two clients leaned forward, as if desperate to hear his next words. The slow patter of footsteps stopping in the hallway alerted her to Kennedy's presence. Nothing mattered but the man in front of her holding his dog.

  "How . . . how do I know?"

  "You don't. Look, I'm no poet, and I suck at these big endings and declarations like in a sappy romance novel, but I love you. I love you, body and mind and soul, and I love this rat fink dog more than I can ever say in just words. So I'll show you every damn day instead. I want to be in this with you. I know we're gonna fight, and you'll piss me off, and I'll piss you off, but I think we were meant to be together the moment I first laid eyes on you and decided I didn't like you."

  A choked sob of half laughter escaped her lips.

  "See, I told you I suck at this. I want to be happy, and you're the one who makes me happy. Happier than I've ever been in my whole sorry life. So, that's it. All of it. I love you, and I want you to take my sad ass back. What do ya say?"

  Her eyes stung. It was the worst, best, most romantic speech she'd ever heard in her life. Better than Browning or Keats or Nicholas Sparks. Better than . . . everything.

  "I say yes."

  He closed the distance in three strides, shifted Pinky to the side, and kissed her. Long and deep and sweet, it was a kiss that promised a future and a life full of mess. Exactly the way she wanted it.

  "I love you, too," she whispered against his mouth.

  Pinky barked.

  Suddenly, there was a loud clapping, and the two clients stood up, one brushing away tears, and Kate choked up and stumbled over to them for a group hug. Kennedy patted her shoulder and shook her head.

  "This is going to get us so many new clients," she whispered in her ear.

  And then together, they all laughed.

  And things were very, very good.

  epilogue

  I HAVE TO SAY, that was one of the most romantic declarations of love I have ever heard," Kate said, refilling her drink.

  Kennedy nodded. "Damn straight. Right in the league of my golf course declaration."

  "And my matching leather recliners," Kate added.

  "Don't forget Wolfe's announcement to my whole family," Gen said.

  Arilyn giggled. "They were all epic. And well deserved."

  Kennedy raised her martini glass. "Cheers. It's been a long road for each of us, but we did it together."

  "There were a lot of bumps in that road, but we never lost sight of the goal," Kate said.

  Arilyn sighed with pure pleasure. "What should we drink to?"

  "Boys who are worthy of us?" Genevieve asked.

  Kennedy rolled her eyes. "Silly girl, haven't you learned yet? We drink to us. Friendship. Female power. Earth Mother!"

  "Yes!" they all shouted together. Glasses clinked, green liquid sloshed over the table, and Arilyn stretched out her feet on the braided rug, completely content. Her three best girlfriends had called for a night of celebration with pizza and apple martinis back at the bungalow. So far they were on their way to solidly tipsy and getting emotionally sloppy.

  Ah, Stone was in for a surprise when he returned home. Sometimes drunk sex was so much damn fun.

  "Speaking of Earth Mother, did we get rid of that love spell book?" Genevieve asked. "Did we ever decide if it worked or was just a scam?"

  Arilyn hiccupped. "Scam."

  Kate's eyes widened. "Wait a minute. Let's do a roll call. My list was all Slade. Kennedy said hers was Nate."

  Gen spoke up. "I thought mine was my ex, but when I read it over, I realized all the qualities I wrote down were Wolfe. So that's three. Arilyn?"

  She blinked, pleasantly buzzed, and thought over her list. After they had completed the love spell a year ago, right here in Gen's bungalow, they burned each of their lists in the fire. They were supposed to slip the second copy under their mattresses. Something about the power of unconscious sleep to make your soul mate appear. After she moved, she remembered finding the list and shoving it in o
ne of her notebooks, thinking the whole idea had been a waste. After all, Jacob had cheated on her for the third time. She'd thought he was her soul mate.

  But he wasn't. Stone Petty was.

  "Huh. Wait a minute. I took the list and put it in one of my journals. I didn't think it worked. Let me get it." She found her journal on the small bookshelf, plucked out the plain piece of ledger paper, and carried it back to the table.

  "What does it say?" Gen asked breathlessly.

  Arilyn scanned the contents. Did it again. And again.

  No. Way.

  "You're killing us here, dudette. What's on the list? Did it work?" Kennedy asked.

  Arilyn bit her lower lip. "I don't believe this. My list. These aren't Jacob's qualities at all. They're Stone's."

  "Can you read it aloud?" Kate asked.

  Arilyn cleared her throat. "Okay, here we go. A man who challenges me. A man who makes me laugh. A man I find sexy and dominating in bed." She fought a blush at Kennedy's cheer and went on. "A man who makes me feel alive. A man who's loyal. A man who won't cheat. A man who loves me with a desperation that doesn't make sense. A man who gives me all of him. A man who wants to share all of my life, including friends and family. A man who loves dogs. That's it."

  "Definitely not Yoga Man. Girlfriend, that is Stone Petty. The love spell does work," Kennedy stated.

  They looked at each other, unsure of how to process it. Gen finally spoke up. "I still have the book, you know."

  Kate shivered. "When I touch it, I get an electrical shock. It's spooky."

  "But powerful," Kennedy pointed out. "Ladies, we have stumbled upon the greatest gift a woman could find. A way to find our true soul mates."

  Arilyn leaned against the aqua chair and pondered. "There is something about harnessing the power of our thoughts, wants, and needs to the universe. Maybe a combination of fire and writing and being with each other made the difference."

  "Wow, between Kate's touch and The Book of Spells, we can make Kinnections the most famous place on earth!" Kennedy squealed.

  Kate laughed. "Hold on, tiger. We are not going public with my witchlike abilities or the book. This stays between us. It's sacred."

  "And we can use it for good," Arilyn said. "Is there someone else who needs it?"

  They thought for a few minutes before Gen spoke up. "Izzy. She's changed. Can you imagine what meeting the right guy can do for her?"

  "But she has to do the spell," Kate said. "That's a leap of faith. You have to want it."

  Gen nodded. "I'll talk to her. Who knows? It's worth a shot."

  "Good. In the meantime, Gen, you keep it safe, and we'll see what happens. Anything is possible," Kate said.

  "Especially with us," Kennedy said.

  Arilyn looked around the circle. "I love you guys."

  "Back atcha, sweets," Kennedy said. Kate and Gen sniffed, overemotional from too many apple martinis, and they all squeezed together for a group hug.

  Arilyn realized once again how finding love can change a person's life. Funny thing is, even before Stone, her life had already been blessed.

  By true friendship.

  acknowledgments

  AH, SO MANY people to thank.

  First off, a huge thanks to the Town of Montgomery Police Department, who welcomed me into the station when I came to ask a bunch of ridiculous questions and treated me with both respect and warmth. A huge shout-out to Officer Jason Meehan, who let me ride in his cool car for an official "ride along" and let me pepper him with what-if scenarios so I could create a truthful environment for Officer Stone Petty and his coworkers. Any mistakes I made are mine and mine alone. They are truly an exceptional team and I thank each and every one of them for keeping us safe.

  Thanks to my editor, Lauren McKenna, who wanted me to write a cop story and refused to settle for anything less than perfection. It's a joy working with you. Thanks also to my agent, Kevan Lyon, for all the advice along the way.

  Thanks to my local shelter, Pets Alive, who gave me my beloved Lester, and rescued the real pit bull Robert--who you can find living happily with his own Facebook page, Rockin' Robert, at www.facebook

  .com/RobertPetsAlive. Pets Alive works tirelessly to make sure all animals have a fair chance at love and a safe home. They inspired me to create another canine survivor in Pinky.

  A shout-out to the Probst Posse, who help me with all of my books and are a great support system on this writing journey. You guys seriously rock.

  Thank you to all my writing friends who keep me laughing and writing. I wish I could name them all here but there are just too many and you know who you are. You make every writing conference the absolute best!

  If you enjoy the Searching For series, please tell your friends. Leave reviews. Help spread the word. I'd love to give a few more characters their happy ever afters. Don't forget that the original Book of Spells is available as an ebook for only $0.99 and includes an exclusive short story featuring Alexa and Nick from The Marriage Bargain.

  Finally, as always, to my readers. Thank you for your emails, posts, tweets, and shout-outs. Thank you for your belief in me and my stories. Thank you for reading them and allowing me to write full-time, fulfilling the lifelong dream I've had since I was six years old. I love you all.

  about the author

  Matt Simpkins Photography

  JENNIFER PROBSt's novels, novellas, and ebooks range from sexy contemporary romance to erotica. She lives in upstate New York. For more about this multitalented New York Times and USA TODAY bestselling author, visit JenniferProbst.com.

  FOR MORE ON THIS AUTHOR: authors.simonandschuster.com/JenniferProbst

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  SimonandSchuster.com

  ALSO BY JENNIFER PROBST

  The Searching For Series

  Searching for Someday

  Searching for Perfect

  "Searching for You" in Baby, It's Cold Outside

  Searching for Beautiful

  The Marriage to a Billionaire Series

  The Marriage Bargain

  The Marriage Trap

  The Marriage Mistake

  The Marriage Merger

  We hope you enjoyed reading this Pocket Books eBook.

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  Pocket Books

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  This book is a work of fiction. Any references to historical events, real people, or real places are used fictitiously. Other names, characters, places, and events are products of the author's imagination, and any resemblance to actual events or places or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

  Copyright (c) 2015 by Jennifer Probst

  All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form whatsoever. For information, address Gallery Books Subsidiary Rights Department, 1230 Avenue of the Americas, New York, NY 10020.

  First Pocket Books paperback edition July 2015

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  Cover design by Lisa Litwack

  Cover photograph (c) Lisa B./Corbis

  ISBN 978-1-4767-8012-2

  ISBN 978-1
-4767-8013-9 (ebook)

  contents

  Prologue

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  Chapter Twenty

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Epilogue

  Acknowledgments

  About the Author