by J. S. Cooper
“What do you want me to say, Hunter?” And then she sighed. “Okay. Let’s start over, okay?”
“What do you mean?” I frowned.
“I promised your sister that I would give you a chance to tell me whatever you wanted to tell me and that I wouldn’t be angry or hostile. And I guess I haven’t kept to my word so far. So let’s start this again.”
“Shall I call you again?”
“You don’t have to call me again. We can just pretend to start the conversation again.”
”Let me call you again.
“Hunter—”
“Please?”
“Fine,” she said, and I hung up.
I smiled to myself, and then I called back.
“Hello?” she said as she picked up the phone.
“Hi, Birdie, it’s Hunter. It’s great to hear your voice.”
“Hey, Hunter,” she replied. “It’s good to hear your voice, too.”
“Wow.” I laughed. “I can’t believe you actually said that.”
“I can’t believe I actually said that, either.”
“So how was dinner with my sister?”
“It was fun. I really enjoyed seeing her again. I’ve missed her.”
“She missed you, too.”
“Yeah, she said. I regret having stopped talking to her. Maybe I should have handled things differently.”
“Mm, maybe.” I kept my mouth shut for a couple of seconds because I didn’t want to say what I was really thinking. Now was not the time to antagonize her.
“So, how have you been enjoying San Francisco so far?” she asked.
“You know, it’s an interesting city. It’s cool. Not my scene, but it’s cool. I see why you like it.”
“Yeah. There’s a lot going on.”
“It’s very different from Bluffton.”
“That’s a good thing.”
“You seemed to like Bluffton when you lived there, though.”
“I did. It’s my hometown. I’ll always love it. There was a lot going on, but there’s a lot going on here too. I’ve met people I never would have met before. And that’s cool.”
“Oh, yeah? What sort of people? Guys or …?” I could hear the jealousy in my voice. “Or new friends or what?”
“Both,” she said, and I knew she knew she was driving me crazy.
“Do you remember that time we went to Charleston?” I asked.
“Which time? We went to Charleston many times.”
“That time we went and we were walking down the main street and this guy came up to us and he asked us … What was it he asked us if we were descendants of … Who was it again?”
“Oh yeah, that guy that was from like England or something? That was looking for that old house?”
“Yeah, you remember? And he thought we were—Oh gosh, I can’t remember his name.”
“Yeah, I can’t remember the name, either.” She laughed.
“That was funny. What made you think of it?”
“I don’t know. It just all of a sudden popped into my head. Remember, you said you’d love to live in Charleston?”
“Yeah, I used to think that. Maybe I will one day.”
“Charleston’s in South Carolina.”
“I do know geography, Hunter.”
“That’s closer to Bluffton.”
“Yeah, and?”
“It’s closer to me.” The phone was silent for a few seconds. “So I guess that was a bit forward,” I said, finally.
“I don’t really know if it was forward or if it really means anything. Who cares if it’s closer to you?”
“Ouch. That hurt.” There was a long silence. “So, Birdie …”
“Yes, Hunter?”
“Can I see you?”
“Whadda you mean, can you see me? You have eyes so you can see me, right? If you really want to, you can see anything. You can see the stars. You can see the moon. You can see the street. You can see the cars.”
“Stop being difficult. Can I see you tonight?”
“I’m not being difficult. I just think that was a silly question of you to ask me.”
“Why was it silly?”
“Because I don’t want to see you, Hunter. You know that.”
“I really fucked up, didn’t I?”
“Yeah, you really did.”
“But you just ran away. We didn’t even get to have a real conversation.”
“I called you and you went to a party with Victoria Venice, and I don’t know what you did with her.”
“What do you mean you don’t know what I did with her? I didn’t do anything with her,” I growled. “What do you think I did? I was at the party, she was at the party, and we danced and someone took some Instagram video, and it went viral. And then you got an attitude and went off on me when you should have trusted me because I never cheated on you. And I would never cheat on you. You knew that.”
“I didn’t expect you to talk to me the way you did in the locker room.”
“I know. And that was wrong of me. And if I were to do it again, I would hope that I would not have let those guys talk to you the way that they did. But I was stupid, and I was trying to show them that I was the boss. You know? I was trying to show them that I was cool.”
“That wasn’t cool, Hunter! They degraded me! They made me feel like a slut!”
“I’m sorry.” I let out a deep sigh. “I know I made a mistake.”
“You made more than a mistake. You should have respected me.”
“I always respected you.”
“No, you didn’t! How can you respect me and let people talk about me like that? That’s not cool!”
“You’re never going to forgive me, are you?”
“I don’t know. You just really hurt me. And I …” She sighed. “It doesn’t matter anymore.”
“It does matter, Birdie. It was always you and me. Remember? From when we were freshmen in high school, it was always you and me. I can remember us lying at the beach, under the stars, talking about our future. How we wanted to have three kids, how we wanted to live in a big house, how we wanted to get married and honeymoon in Paris. Remember that, Birdie?”
“We said a lot of things, Hunter. But then you changed.”
“I never stopped loving you.”
“Yeah, but you became a different guy once we hit college and you were the star quarterback of the team.”
“Hey, you liked that, too. You enjoyed dating me. You can’t say that you didn’t.”
“Of course I did. But …” She sighed. “I just don’t know. Maybe I was superficial, too.”
“And that’s okay. Birdie. We grow, right? Everyone grows. No one’s perfect. And maybe I was less perfect than a lot of people, but I grew. I’d really like to see you, please?”
“I’m scared to see you, Hunter.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m scared that—I don’t know.”
“Are you scared you’ll feel the same way?”
“Whadda you mean, that I’ll hate you?”
“No, I mean, are you scared you’ll feel the same way that you did before you left? Before the incident in the locker room?”
“I don’t know,” she said softly. “But I can’t go back to being that person. I have grown, Hunter. I want more from life than I did when I was in high school.”
“Meaning you want more than me?”
“I haven’t even seen you in years. It’s got nothing to do with you.”
“See me tonight, please?”
“I don’t know.”
“Can I come over just for an hour?”
“Just for an hour, really?”
“Just for an hour.”
“What do you want to come over and do?”
“Maybe we can watch a TV show.”
“You’re going to come over for an hour to watch a TV show? That’s it?”
“Maybe I’ll bring a bottle of wine or some beers, whatever you want to drink. And we’ll just hang ou
t for old time’s sake. I miss you.”
“Hunter, I don’t know if that’s the best idea in the world.”
“It might not be the best idea in the world, but it’s certainly not the worst.”
“I don’t know …”
“For old time’s sake? For the two kids that fell in love and promised each other at their high school graduation that nothing would ever break them apart.”
“Really, Hunter? You’re going to bring that up?”
“When they go high you go low, right, baby?”
She made a snorting noise that might almost have been a laugh. “Fine.”
“Fine?”
“You can come over. For one hour. Bring a bottle of red wine and maybe some snacks.”
I laughed. “Anything else?”
“No, that’s it. Well, maybe some cupcakes if you can find them.”
“Where am I going to find cupcakes at 10 o’clock at night?”
“I don’t know, but you’re the one who wants to come over now.”
“I’ll do my best, okay? Text me your address, and I’ll be there as soon as possible.”
“Okay. And Hunter?”
“Yes, Birdie?”
“Don’t make me regret it.”
“Never,” I swore. “I’ll never do or say another thing that will hurt you for the rest of my life. And that’s a promise, Birdie. That’s a promise I intend to keep until I die.”
Chapter 15
Birdie
Someone was knocking on the door, and I was too scared to open it. I hadn’t seen Hunter in two years, and I wasn’t sure what he was going to think of the way that I looked now. I mean, I was still me. I was still Birdie, but I was no longer the naive, guileless girl that I’d been. The banging on the door increased, and my phone started ringing. I answered it.
“Hello?”
“Birdie, I’m outside your door.” He swore under his breath. “Please tell me I’m outside your door. Please tell me you didn’t give me someone else’s address.”
“I didn’t give you someone else’s address,” I said as I walked toward the door and opened it slowly.
“Oh, good,” he said softly into the phone as we stood there staring at each other.
I noticed the bright blue of his eyes, the way he gazed at me. I had to tilt my head back to look at him properly. I’d forgotten how tall he was.
“Can I come in?” he asked with a shy smile.
It was weird that we were like this. He’d never asked to come in before. In fact, he always had his own keys. He would just come into my place. Sometimes I’d find him there when I wasn’t even home.
“Sure. Come in.”
“It’s good to see you,” he said. His eyes never left mine, and it felt like he was trying to tell me something, but it was some sort of foreign language that I didn’t understand.
“Do you want to have a seat?”
I swallowed hard. I wasn’t going to tell him it was nice to see him as well, because even though it was, I didn’t want him to know that it felt like I was seeing a piece of home, much more so than when I had seen Nellie. Hunter was as familiar to me as the back of my hand. I knew his face, I knew his facial expressions, I knew his body, and he knew mine. We knew every mole, every scar. We’d explored each other like adventurers on a new continent.
“Would you like something to drink?” I hovered over him as he sat down on my couch.
He held up a plastic bag. “I brought wine and a couple of beers. I’ll have a beer if you don’t mind.”
“Why would I mind?” I asked quickly. “Do you want a glass?”
“Sure, I’ll take a glass. And I brought you red wine, that Cabernet Sauvignon. I remember that was your favorite.”
“Good memory,” I said with a quick nod, and then walked to the kitchen and grabbed a wine glass, a glass for the beer, and a wine opener. I walked back and handed him the glass before sitting down next to him on the couch. “Do you want to open the wine or—”
“I’ll open it,” he said as he took the wine bottle opener from me. “So … nice place you have here,” he said, as he looked around. “It’s cute. I like what you’ve done with it.”
“It’s small, I know that, but it’s my own place, and that’s cool, you know?”
“Yeah. That’s really cool. I’m not even going to ask you how much rent you pay because I’m sure it’s astronomical.”
“Yeah, the prices here in San Francisco are a little bit expensive, but at least I can pay the rent, you know, without having to ask my mom and dad.”
“Yeah. So tell me about your job. What do you do?”
“I work for a startup. We help people with their credit. Nothing super exciting, but I love my coworkers. They’re like family, you know?”
“Oh, cool. I’d like to meet them.” He must’ve realized his mistake because his face turned slightly pink. “Or not, you know, I’m not saying that you have to introduce me or anything. I’m just happy that you let me come in.”
“Yeah. So did you want to watch TV or something or …?”
“I don’t know. What did you want to do?”
“I don’t know. You were the one that wanted to come over.” I stared at his lips. My mouth went dry. I wanted him to kiss me. I knew it was crazy, I knew I was out of my mind, but as I stared at his handsome face, a face that I hadn’t seen for so long except for in my dreams, I realized that I wanted him to touch me. I wanted him to kiss me. Thank God he couldn’t read my mind.
At least, I hoped he couldn’t.
He shifted over slightly on the couch so that his leg was pressed against mine. “Here’s the wine,” he said as he handed me the glass. “I hope you like it.”
I took a small sip, swallowed it, and nodded. “It’s good.”
“I’m glad. I just got it at the little bodega down the street. I’d never heard of this wine before, but I figured for the price point it should be pretty decent.”
“Oh, how much was it?”
“Well, just 20 bucks, but that’s better than a $9 bottle at Trader Joe’s or something.” He grinned.
“That’s true. But we lived on $9 wine in college,” I laughed. “Actually, we lived on $6.99 bottles of wine.”
“That we did and we loved it,” he laughed. “Oh man, do you remember that time that we had a picnic in the park at midnight because you wanted a midnight picnic?”
“Oh, I remember, and I made the ham and cheese sandwiches, and you bought us a bunch of ciders.”
“Yeah, and then you also brought a bottle of wine, and we got super drunk.”
I laughed. “And then we decided we wanted to climb a tree to see if we could see the stars better.”
He nodded. “And I picked you up, remember? And you like, grabbed onto one branch and started swinging back and forth, like a monkey.”
“And then I fell and we collapsed onto the ground and you called me your little monkey and you started tickling me.”
“And then we started kissing,” he said, his voice huskier now.
“Yeah, I remember. Those were fun times.”
“Yeah. That was when I was still a freshman, I think,” he said.
“Yeah.” I looked away then. “Before you made it big on the football team.”
“Well, that was a fun, fun memory,” he said. “So, are you dating anyone?”
“I think you’ve asked me this before, Hunter. The answer is no, not really. What about you?”
“No, I don’t really have time for dating. I’m working for the bank now, and my focus is on our expansion and just making sure that I learn every facet of the business before my dad retires.”
“That sounds cool. Boring, but cool,” I laughed. “How’s your mom?”
“She’s fine, doing the things that she does.”
“Yeah. I bet she’s on a lot of boards and charity organizations, huh?”
“Oh, yes. Her work is never done unless she’s helping at least five different organizations and pledging tho
usands and thousands of dollars to help.”
“It’s nice that she spreads the wealth with people in the community.”
“We both know she only does it to look good to everyone else.” He shrugged. “But I guess if she’s helping people, that still makes a difference, and I guess it still counts.”
“Yeah, it still counts. I mean my mom’s the same, right?”
“Yeah, she is. How’s your Mawmaw, by the way?”
“Oh, she’s great. I was just speaking to her yesterday. She wanted to know if I’m going to come home for her anniversary party.”
“Oh. Are you?” He looked at me keenly.
“I don’t know,” I mumbled. “I’m not sure if I can get the time off work.”
“But it’s their anniversary. Isn’t it a big one?”
“Yeah, but if I can’t get the time off work, I can’t get the time off work.” I shrugged. “We’ll see.”
“Yeah. Well, let me know if you come back home, it would be nice to see you.”
“Yeah … I don’t know about that.”
He laughed. “Okay, so maybe I’m rushing it a little bit.”
“Rushing what? There’s nothing to rush. We’re not—” I stopped myself. “Let’s see what’s on TV, yeah?” I decided to change the subject. I didn’t want us to get into an argument and I didn’t really want to talk about the past. Let the past be the past.
“You know something, Birdie?”
“Yes, Hunter?” I said.
He edged a little closer and put a hand on my leg. “You’re looking even more beautiful than I remember.”
“Well, I guess I can say you’re looking even more handsome than I remember.” I gave him a little smile, then grabbed his hand and took it off my leg. “But that doesn’t mean that I’m going to allow you to touch me.”
“Oh, but Birdie, you always used to love it when I touched you,” he murmured and moved even closer to me.
“Hunter, what are you doing?”
“What? I can’t get one kiss?” he said as his face moved closer to mine.
“Hunter …” I was breathing rapidly now, my eyes on his lips once again. I licked my own nervously. “We’re not going to kiss. You’re lucky I even let you come over tonight.”
“What’s one kiss for old time’s sake?”
“What’s one knee in the groin for old time’s sake?”