To My Immature Ex Boyfriend (The Inappropriate Bachelors Book 5)

by J. S. Cooper

“What’s something honorable that I can do to show you, Birdie?”

  “I don’t know. I don’t know, Hunter, that’s for you to figure out.”

  “Well, up until two days ago, you had me blocked. I wasn’t even able to—”

  “Don’t put this on me, okay? You’re not blocked now and you’re here in my living room, so maybe start owning up to some things.”

  “What do you want me to say? That I was an immature asshole? Yes, I was. And maybe parts of me still are. Yes, I’m still attracted to you. You’re fucking beautiful, okay? I think you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.”

  “Whatever.” I tried to sound disdainful, but inside I was a lot hotter and more excited than I would have wanted to admit.

  “What? I’m telling the truth. So, yeah, when I saw you, I wanted to kiss you because it’s been so long and I’d thought about doing it for a really long time, okay? And maybe I got carried away when you kissed me back, and maybe I thought, ‘Wow, we could have a moment,’ because when we made love, it was the best thing in my life. I’ve never experienced anything like that before or since. And maybe I thought if we had that level of intimacy and closeness again, you’d be able to look me in the eyes and tell me that you forgive me. You’d be able to say that you’re willing to give me another chance.”

  “It’s going to take more than that, Hunter. Are you stupid? Sorry,” I said quickly. “I didn’t mean to say the word stupid, but what do you expect me to say? A quick fuck and everything’s okay? Do you understand the level of hurt and pain you put me through?”

  “Maybe not until this very moment.” He let out a deep sigh. “Okay. Let me say sorry.”

  “What do you mean, let you say sorry? You said sorry.”

  “Let me say sorry in other ways.”

  “How are you going to say sorry in other ways?”

  “While I’m here in San Francisco, will you allow me the pleasure of seeing you each day?”

  “Are you joking? Why would I—”

  “Please?” He grabbed my hand. “This isn’t about a relationship. This is about our friendship. This is about who we once were to each other. For the young boy that loved the young girl and the young girl that loved the young boy. We shared something very special. And yeah, maybe we will never be together again, but I don’t want to lose that closeness and that friendship.”

  “Hunter, exes can’t be friends again. I just don’t see the point.”

  “You don’t see the point or you don’t want to see the point?”

  “I don’t know what you want from me.”

  “Just a chance to let you see that I’m sorry. And that I want to make it right. And maybe if you do come to Mawmaw’s anniversary, you’ll allow me to take you out in South Carolina. That’s all I want.”

  “Fine,” I said. “But we’re just friends, that’s it. We’re never going to be more than friends.”

  “Okay. So do you still want to play poker?” he asked, and held up the cards.

  “I mean, if you want to play, I guess we can play, as long as you don’t have any outrageous ideas.”

  “Would I ever have any outrageous ideas?” he said in a light voice.

  I gave him a dirty look. “Come on, now, Hunter, you forget, I know you better than I know myself.”

  “And, Birdie, you forget that I know you better than I know myself as well.”

  “We’re really a pair, aren’t we?”

  “Yeah, we are.” He laughed. “So, we’ll play a game?”

  “We can play a game,” I said. “One game.”

  “And if I win?” he whispered.

  “If you win, what?”

  “Can I get one more kiss?”

  “Hunter!”

  “What? A man can try, can’t he?”

  “I suppose you can try. But that doesn’t mean I’ll give you one.”

  “Well, let’s see what happens by the end of the night.” He reached over and lightly touched my hair. I’ve missed you, Birdie. I’ve missed you a lot.”

  “I wish I could say the same, Hunter Augustus Beauregard III,” and we both started laughing.

  Chapter 17

  Birdie

  I yawned as I woke up, stretched my arms out, and immediately grabbed my phone.

  Seven o’clock.

  I didn’t normally wake up this early, but a fluttery nervousness in my stomach wouldn’t let me sleep any later. I was just too excited to find out what Hunter had planned for the day.

  Then I saw that I had a text message from him, and the fluttery feeling kicked up a notch. It was unnerving how quickly I’d started getting excited by his messages, but I dismissed the slight sense of unease.

  “Hey there, beautiful. Just wanted to let you know that I’ll be picking you up at 9:00 AM and that Nellie and Shelby (Nellie’s best friend) will also be joining us. Looking forward to seeing you again.”

  Shelby and Nellie were coming?

  I tried to ignore the twitch of disappointment I felt at the news. I had expected Hunter would just want to take me out by himself.

  “Good morning, Hunter,” I typed back. “Nellie and Shelby are coming? How come?”

  His response was immediate. “Hey, I’m glad you’re awake. I wanted to show you that I’m not just looking to get laid, so I invited my sister and her best friend, who just got into town.”

  “That’s cool.” I knew that on paper that it showed he had good intentions, but a part of me had wanted to spend some one-on-one time with him. I was an idiot. “And they want to hang out with us old fogies?”

  “You know Nellie loves you and she misses you. And I think it would be nice for you guys to hang out together again.”

  “Yeah, that would be really nice. So what should I wear? Where are we going?”

  “It’s a surprise, but I will say maybe you should wear some sort of hiking shoes or sneakers and some sweatpants.”

  “Sweatpants?”

  “Well, maybe not sweatpants. Yoga pants, whatever you girls call them.”

  “Okay. So we’re going on a hike? How long of a hike?”

  “I didn’t say we’re going on a hike,” he replied. “I’m not going to give you any more information.”

  “Hunter, I hope you’re not taking us on some long-ass hike at Yosemite or something.”

  “Hey, that’s a good idea.”

  I groaned. He wouldn’t take us to Yosemite, would he? I mean, it was beautiful, but I just was not in shape to go on any sort of long hike. Not that I wanted to tell him that. I had been a cheerleader and was very, very athletic when I was younger. I still worked out (sometimes), but I just didn’t have the endurance that I used to have.

  I decided not to worry about that now. It was time for coffee and some breakfast. If I was going to be hiking, I needed to ensure that I was as prepared as possible, given a couple of hours’ notice.

  I smiled as I made my way to the kitchen and started to grind the coffee beans. It would be fun to hang out with Nellie. I didn’t know who Shelby was, but it was always nice to meet Nellie’s friends. I really did miss hanging out with Nellie, and maybe that was part of the reason why I was willing to give Hunter a chance to be friends again—because obviously, I didn’t want more than friends. There was just no way. Hunter Augustus Beauregard III had broken my heart and he didn’t deserve a second chance as a boyfriend. I had to keep reminding myself of that fact or I was going to find myself in big trouble.

  To be fair, he really hadn’t actually said that he wanted to be my boyfriend; that was more an assumption on my part. I remembered that saying, “When you assume, you make an ass out of you and me,” and giggled as I put the coffee in the French press and turned the kettle on for hot water. I was overthinking everything and I needed to stop.

  My phone pinged. Another text from Hunter.

  “So Birdie??”

  “Yeah?”

  “I just wanted to let you know that last night meant a lot to me, and I hope that you’re not offended or
upset that I kissed you or tried to do more.”

  “I’m not upset or offended.”

  I couldn’t lie—I’d been happy to kiss him back, and I had definitely felt the temptation to sleep with him. I couldn’t deny how much I was still attracted to him. Well, maybe I could deny that to him. But I was a red-blooded woman in my twenties, and it was hard to resist a wide, white smile and big, baby-blue eyes, even if they did belong to my ex. I had to stop thinking about how he used to go down on me and then sing me a song as if it were the most normal thing in the world.

  Memories could be so great sometimes. Other times, they could lead you to the doorsteps of hell.

  Another text came in. “Anyway. I just want to let you know that this is about more than the physical and I really do miss you. And I just hope that one day …”

  “One day what?” I responded quickly. Was he going to make some sort of romantic gesture? Maybe he wanted to take me to Paris, like we’d always talked about. Or maybe he wanted to propose under a meteor shower.

  I tried to clamp down on the giddy thoughts that were running through my mind. I was getting my hopes up for nothing. I shouldn’t even care. I’d told myself so often that I hated him that I sounded like a broken record, even to myself. But I couldn’t help hoping that maybe he was going to do something that would restore my faith in him.

  He texted back a moment later. “Well, you know, maybe one day we can bow-chicka-bow-wow again.”

  I thumped the phone down on the counter. Just when I thought Hunter was growing up, there he went, saying something to prove he was still just an immature fool.

  And maybe I was an even bigger fool for expecting anything to actually change.

  I walked out of my building at exactly 9 a.m., and I was pleasantly surprised to see that Hunter, Nellie, and a cute girl who I assumed to be Nellie’s friend Shelby were standing outside waiting for me, right on time. Hunter was holding a coffee cup and a small brown bag. His goofy smile caused little kangaroos to jump in my stomach.

  He held out the coffee and the bag. “I got you some bagels and some donuts and a coffee just like you like it.”

  “Just like I like it, huh?”

  “Yep. I got you a mocha.”

  “Oh, wow, you remembered.” I couldn’t help be a little touched.

  “How could I forget, Birdie?”

  He gazed into my eyes the way he used to when we were in high school and he was going in for a kiss. I swallowed hard as he handed me the cup. I needed to stop thinking about him in this way. The past was the past, dead and gone. That made me think of a song, but I couldn’t remember the name of it.

  “Thank you.” I took it gratefully and had a sip. I almost moaned in delight as I tasted the creamy chocolate and the sharp coffee. “Wow, this is really good. You’ll have to tell me where you got it.”

  “I told you it would be good,” Nellie said with a grin. “Hunter didn’t want to get it. He said that—“

  “Nellie!” He glared at her.

  “What?” She blinked innocently at him before giving me a quick hug. “I’m so happy that we’re hanging out today. Birdie, let me introduce you to my best friend, Shelby. Shelby, this is Birdie. She’s like my sister.”

  “Hi, Shelby. Really nice to meet you.” I held out my hand and smiled at her.

  She shook my hand and smiled back. “It’s nice to meet you, too. I’ve heard a lot about you.” Her deep Southern drawl reminded me of all my friends growing up. I liked her already. Shelby was like a piece of home that felt familiar and warm.

  “All good things, I hope?” I gave a little laugh.

  “All good things indeed,” she said, and then she looked over at Hunter and giggled.

  “Nellie, what have you been telling Shelby?” Hunter frowned as he stared at his sister.

  “Nothing bad, of course.” Nellie smiled sweetly at him. “So where are we going, big brother of mine?”

  Hunter just shook his head. “It’s a surprise, guys. Now come on. We’ve just got to walk a couple of blocks.”

  Nellie groaned. “I thought we were going to get an Uber or something. I don’t want to walk!”

  “Well, then it’s going to be a long day for you,” he laughed. “Come on. We’re walking to get a car.”

  “We’re walking to get a car?” I asked in surprise. “What do you mean?”

  “I rented a car for the day,” he explained. “I thought that it would be really cool if we explored.”

  “Where are we going to explore?” Now I was even more curious.

  “Well, I thought that we could go to Joaquin Miller Park.”

  “To where?” I’d never heard of the place.

  “It’s in Oakland, across the bridge.”

  “Oh wow. Okay. I haven’t been to Oakland, really, just once or twice. I went downtown to a couple of bars.”

  “That’s what I figured,” he laughed again. “So yeah. We’re going to go to the Oakland Hills. They have redwoods there. Did you know that?”

  I shook my head. “No, I had no idea. So, are we going on a hike or something?”

  “Oh no, not a hike!” Nellie groaned as Shelby made a face.

  “It’s not long, girls. Don’t worry. I did tell you to wear sneakers and yoga pants.” Hunter was starting to look annoyed, and I withheld a grin.

  “Yeah, but I thought you just wanted us to be casual because we were in San Francisco.” Nellie pouted. “Not because we were going on a hike.” She looked at me, “Do you really want to hike, Birdie?”

  “I don’t mind,” I said. “Whatever Hunter has planned is fine by me.”

  Nellie squinted at me suspiciously. “What is going on? Did Hunter drug you last night or something?”

  “No, but I promised him—I promised you too, remember—that I’d be up for whatever he wanted us to do.”

  “Wow,” Nellie looked at her brother, impressed, “I guess you do got game, big bro.”

  “I told you,” he said with a wink. He ushered Nellie and Shelby ahead of us then hooked his arm through mine and we started walking a few steps behind them. I felt like I was a character in a Woody Allen movie for some reason. Only I was in San Francisco and not New York City.

  “So, Birdie, did you have a good time last night?” he said quietly.

  “Yeah, it was pretty good, thanks.”

  “I got home and I couldn’t really sleep well,” he said with a sigh.

  “Oh?” I said, concerned. “What’s wrong?”

  “Well … you know.” He wiggled his eyebrows at me.

  “No, I don’t really know what that means,” I lied, blushing. Sometimes I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry when it came to Hunter.

  “I had a serious case of the blue balls.”

  I groaned. “Really, Hunter?”

  “I know, I know, it’s not the most appropriate thing to say, but you have to know that I’m not in it just for sex.” He looked over at Nellie and Shelby who were giggling and gossiping about something. “If I was, would I have brought my bratty little sister and her bratty best friend on our date today?”

  “This isn’t a date,” I said quickly.

  “I mean, on our ‘hanging out’ today,” he corrected himself. “No, trust me, I wouldn’t have. There’s no bigger cock-blocker than my sister.”

  I giggled a little. “I really don’t know what to say to that.”

  “You don’t have to say anything. You just have to have a good time.”

  “Well, I’m always down to have a good time.” I shrugged. “So, this hike is short, right?” Nellie wasn’t the only one who was a little concerned about what we’d gotten ourselves into.

  “Well, we could do a long one if you wanted to,” Hunter replied.

  “No, I don’t want to do a long one,” I assured him. “I haven’t really hiked in a while. I don’t know that I have the stamina or endurance to go really far. How many miles are we talking?”

  “I think only about two miles.”

  “O
kay … It’s not a lot of uphill, is it?”

  “I don’t know.” The corners of his lips twitched. “Why?”

  “Uphill is hard.” I yawned before I could stop myself. “Oops,” I giggled, “I guess I should drink more of the mocha.”

  “Do you want a bagel as well?”

  “No, I had some breakfast.” I took another sip of the delicious mocha and looked at the paper bag he was carrying. “But you said something about donuts …?”

  “Yeah, I do have donuts. I got your favorite.”

  “You remember my favorite?”

  “Strawberry jelly donut with a sugar coating.”

  “Wow, you do remember.”

  Hunter’s eyes narrowed. “Why are you so surprised, Birdie? We dated for like, eight years. We almost grew up together. I know everything you like.” He paused and looked meaningfully at me. “And I mean everything.”

  “People change, you know that?” I said abruptly. “You don’t know everything about me, Hunter Beauregard.”

  He grinned. “You want to bet?”

  I couldn’t help smiling back a little. “You’re on.”

  “You have to be honest though, okay? I bet I can tell you five things about yourself that are still the same.”

  “You think I’m that predictable, huh?”

  “I don’t think you’re predictable, I think I just know you really well.”

  “We haven’t seen each other in years.”

  “Yeah, but people don’t change that much.” He made a face. “Not at their core, not fundamentally.” He frowned. “You know what I mean.”

  I laughed. “So you’re telling me that I haven’t changed much, but you have?”

  “I have,” he insisted. “I mean, I’m still the same person I always was, of course, but I’ve grown, you know?”

  “I guess we’ll see,” I said. “So, tell me what you think you know about me, Hunter.”

  “Okay.” The frown vanished, replaced by a cheeky smile. “I think, out of all the TV shows you could be on, you’d love to be on Survivor.”

  I tilted my head to one side, considering. “Well, I guess that could be true.”

  “And,” he said, “I can tell you the reason you want to be on Survivor.”