The Secret Within: A totally gripping psychological thriller with a jaw-dropping twist
Page 37
She couldn’t even look me in the eye.
I regret that I called her name as they led me away. I would have liked to talk to her afterwards, but one of the conditions of my sentence prevents me from having any contact with her, as if I’m some sort of criminal low-life. I find that very frustrating. It’s made me angry that everyone has simply walked away as if I no longer exist, as if I don’t matter.
I glance down at the empty aspirin blister packs on the side of the filled bath, then up at the condensation gathering on the obscured glass of the large window. If I could see out of it, it would reveal a glorious sea view – the USP of this single-storey holiday cottage, right on the beach. Although, of course, it is now dark. I duck back and have a last quick check around the bedroom – scattered clothes everywhere, TV on, mobile on the side, keys, letter for Julia – although she will almost certainly decline to read it – ditto Ben, the girls, Storm and Serena. There is also cash to cover the damage done to the front door should the police gain access by breaking it in. It will also pay for professionally cleaning the bathroom because – I return to the bathroom and glance at the scarlet water – that’s a lot of blood. Final flush of the loo.
I pick up the penknife and make the last cut, letting it fall to the floor, the rubies catching in the light before it lands on the tiles with a clatter. I drip a bit over the sill as I push the large window open and drop my rucksack through. I don’t want to go through the front door and leave it unlocked. I intend to buy myself as much time as possible before the alarm is raised.
I can hear the sound of the waves crashing onto the beach. Hamish’s idea of a body claimed by the sea was a good one.
They’ll get what they all want. I shall disappear.
Fifty-Four
Julia
It was just the most enormous sense of guilt and confusion when I heard the news. I’ve known medics who have taken their own lives, but Nathan? I just couldn’t see it of him. It’s true that the aftermath of a trial is difficult to navigate. You feel exhausted and weirdly lost without the routines of court, plus being struck off was always going to hit him hard and Christmas/New Year is a difficult time for a lot of people under normal circumstances… but for the Nathan I thought I knew to do that made no sense to me. Although perhaps that’s entirely the point of something so desperately sad – it can never make sense. I am so very, very sorry for what his death has cost his three children and the people who loved him. Watching Ben these last few weeks learning to navigate the loss of his father – being comforted by Cass having lost her own mother, has been heartbreaking. I don’t know how you ever come to terms with your father booking into a holiday cottage a handful of miles away from you, bleeding into a bath, then walking out into the sea. Those poor children didn’t even have a body to put to rest and say goodbye to.
So I’ve also felt very angry with Nathan. I refused to read the letter he left addressed to me. I wouldn’t let anyone else open it either. Ewan said outright he had no idea how I could simply pretend it didn’t exist. Wasn’t I curious? Didn’t I have to know what Nathan wanted to say? A confession? An apology? I pointed out it could just as easily have been something designed to do even more damage. He shouldn’t have been writing to me at all.
Whatever it said, I wasn’t prepared to let Nathan have the final word. I threw it away, and now, he isn’t able to hurt anyone, anymore.
*
February 2020
Mexico
Epilogue
The hot new guy is very good. Small stitches – she’ll have a neat scar. I glance up at the clock – and he’s fast. We’re going to be done much earlier than I thought. He steps back, rolls his shoulders. I reach out to remove the tray, but he says ‘OK – now the other side!’
Huh? I thought this was a single not a double mastectomy? I open my mouth, but he’s already started the incision… OK. I give a tiny shrug. He is the surgeon, not me. I glance down at the inert body in front of us. To be truthful, this woman is lucky to be having her cancer removed at all. She will probably be among the last for a while. Everyone says there is a storm coming. The hospital is buzzing with it.
‘You OK, Isabella?’
‘Yes! Sorry!’ I focus back on the job in hand. He’s frowning down at the breast tissue he’s cutting away, but he doesn’t seem annoyed with me. More like he was actually asking how I feel. That makes a change here. I hesitate, ‘I was just thinking how people are saying life is going to be different for a bit.’
‘It is,’ he agrees. ‘Very. We should all have fun while we can. Life is too short.’
I stare at him for a moment. ‘What do you like to do then… for fun?’ The second the words are out of my mouth I blush behind my mask and my heart thumps – but with excitement. I know I sound suggestive, but perhaps he’s right. Better to burn fast and bright…
He carries on cutting, calmly. ‘I like the usual things.’
The flame fizzles out. In another lifetime he asks me out to dinner. We talk all night and fall in love, but… I scowl down at my scrubs. It is impossible dressed like this! Another moment or two of silence passes. Just me, him… and the unconscious woman with her chest open, between us. I sigh inwardly and stare at the clock, willing the hands to move faster.
‘I could pick you up at eight tonight?’
I turn back, surprised. He is still frowning down, busily working. Did I imagine him saying that?
‘Would you like to come out with me?’ He drops a piece of bloodied flesh in the tray, but because I see that sort of thing all the time, I am not distracted.
I bite my lip, suddenly shy. ‘OK.’
Finally he looks up. His mask might be covering his mouth, but I can tell from the way his eyes are crinkling at the edges that he is smiling. And damn – those eyes! One light, one dark. Heaven and hell at the same time.
‘We’ll do dinner. Drinks,’ he says. ‘Maybe a film. We’ll see…’
If you were completely gripped by The Secret Within, you will absolutely love Lucy Dawson's bestselling book The Daughter. You lost your daughter. You will never forgive yourself. Now someone's determined to make you pay...
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Get it here!
The Daughter
Get it here!
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‘Gripped me and didn’t let go until the wickedly twisted ending.’ Jenny Blackhurst, author of How I Lost You.
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You lost your daughter. You will never forgive yourself. Now someone's determined to make you pay…
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Seventeen years ago, something happened to Jess’s daughter Beth. The memory of it still makes her blood run cold. Jess has tried everything to make peace with that day, and the part she played in what happened. It was only a brief moment of desire… but she’ll pay for it with a lifetime of guilt.
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To distance herself from the mistakes of the past, Jess has moved away and started over with her family. But when terrifying things begin happening in her new home, Jess knows that her past has finally caught up with her. Somebody feels Jess hasn’t paid enough, and is determined to make her suffer for the secrets she’s kept all these years.
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A heartbreaking and unputdownable psychological thriller perfect for fans of Linda Green, K.L. Slater and Teresa Driscoll.
Hear More From Lucy
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Books by Lucy Dawson
The Secret Within
Don’t Ever Tell
The Memory
White Lies
The Daughter
Everything You Told Me
His Other Lover
You Sent Me A Letter
What My Best Friend Did
Little Sister
The One That Got Away
A Letter f
rom Lucy
I wrote The Secret Within way before Covid-19, but I had just enough time to tweak the ending to reflect the arrival of real-life events we’re all now living through. During these unprecedented times, my fascination and admiration for all things medical is now off the scale and I hope you’ve enjoyed my fictional tale of the bad apple in the barrel.
I would be very grateful, if you had a spare five minutes, to write a review of The Secret Within. Feedback allows me to see what does and doesn’t work in books and also makes a huge difference in helping new readers discover one of my books for the first time.
If you’d like to contact me personally, you can reach me via my Website, Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. I love hearing from readers, and always reply. If you’d like to keep up-to-date with all of my latest releases, you can sign up at the following link. Your email address will never be shared and you can unsubscribe at any time.
Sign up here!
Thank you very much for deciding to spend some of your time reading The Secret Within. I look forward to sharing my next book with you very soon, when, let’s hope, life will be more ‘normal’ again.
With all best wishes,
Lucy x
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www.lucydawsonbooks.com
White Lies
Get it here!
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When you have everything, you have everything to lose…
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Alexandra Inglis is a respected family doctor, trusted by her patients to keep their most intimate secrets. And if sometimes the boundaries between duty and desire blur… well, she's only human.
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But when Alex oversteps a line with Jonathan, one of her patients, she knows she's gone too far. Jonathan is obsessive, and to get what he wants he will tear Alex's world apart – threatening not only her career but her marriage and family too.
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Soon Alex finds she's capable of doing almost anything to keep hold of her perfect life, as it begins to spin dangerously out of her control…
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A darkly gripping domestic drama about secrets and lies, perfect for fans of Apple Tree Yard, Louise Jensen and The Couple Next Door.
The Memory
Get it here!
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She’ll never forget… I’ll never forgive.
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People always notice my daughter, Isobel. How could they not? Extraordinarily beautiful… until she speaks.
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An unsettling, little-girl voice, exactly like a child’s, but from the mouth of a full-grown woman.
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Izzie might look grown-up, but inside she’s trapped. Caught in the day it happened… the day that broke her from within. Our family fell apart that day, and we never could pick up the pieces…
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A haunting domestic drama about families and secrets, perfect for fans of Gillian Flynn, Shalini Boland and Lisa Jewell.
Don’t Ever Tell
Order it here!
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Never make a promise you can’t afford to keep…
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This is a story about Charlotte – a mother and a wife with the perfect job, the perfect life… at least, that’s how it looks from the outside.
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But behind closed doors, the marriage is breaking, and Charlotte’s husband Tris doesn’t even know how much. He has no idea what Charlotte has planned for him, who she has found, why she has hired someone to pretend to be her. But he doesn’t have long to wait to find out…
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Don’t Ever Tell will keep you gripped from the very first page and have you guessing until the very last. From the bestselling author of The Daughter and White Lies comes an unputdownable psychological thriller unlike anything you’ve read before!
Published by Bookouture in 2021
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An imprint of StoryFire Ltd.
Carmelite House
50 Victoria Embankment
London EC4Y 0DZ
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www.bookouture.com
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Copyright © Lucy Dawson, 2021
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Lucy Dawson has asserted her right to be identified
as the author of this work.
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All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in any retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the publishers.
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eBook ISBN: 978-1-80019-253-9
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This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, organizations, places and events other than those clearly in the public domain, are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or locales is entirely coincidental.