Love Me Back to Life

by HMD

  ___

  My heart races as the phone rings. I’m not sure if Grace is home but I’m sending a silent prayer up hoping that my timing is perfect. After the second ring I hear the line get picked up, and I smile at the voice of the older blonde.

  “Hello?”

  “Hey, Mrs. Cassidy.”

  “Emma! My goodness it’s so nice to hear your voice. How are you?”

  “I’m well, yourself?”

  We talk for a few minutes until I politely ask if Grace is around. I hear her shout out Grace’s name and my heart skips a beat.

  “Yes she’s right here hold on. You’ve must’ve sense her, she literally walked in a few seconds ago.”

  I laugh and she puts me on hold. I hear some ruffling on the phone and I patiently wait for her to speak. I smile widely at her greeting.

  “Hey baby!” She sounds so excited and my heart melts. I get comfortable leaning against the wall I’m sitting against.

  “How’s my beautiful girl doing?” I ask trying to be smooth, sometimes you still have to put the effort in. Just because she’s mine doesn’t mean I don’t want to treat her as if I was still trying to make her mine. Even though she did all the work. I smile at the irony.

  “Ugh, terrible. I miss you so much.”

  I laugh because that’s the answer she gives me every time I ask her. It’s good to know even if the answer never changes.

  “I miss you too. I managed to get some phone time at our base out here so of course I called you. I’m glad I caught you. I know we haven’t spoken in a while.”

  It has been a long time. We only have like eight more weeks left of being apart but it’s been a while since I’ve sent a letter or spoken to her. I’ve had a ton of detail so it’s been hard. It breaks my heart because I don’t want her to think that I’m not trying to talk to her. I especially don’t want her to think that I don’t miss her because I miss her more than I can express.

  “Me too. I’ve been thinking about you so much.”

  I’ve been thinking about her nonstop myself. “Good, exactly how I like it. How is everyone?”

  I go to her for the reports because I won’t be able to speak to anyone for a while. I’ve gotten word from my sergeant that we’ve received a tip that there is some activity going on involving a potential threat and we’ve been spending a lot of time preparing for this raid. We don’t leave for some time though but we definitely want to be on guard. We’ve all done really well with keeping each other safe, knowing well that there are people waiting for each of us back home.

  “Good they miss you obviously. I’ve been keeping up with everyone.”

  I’m glad she is. I really appreciate that she’s building these relationships with all these people. It shows me how dedicated she is to me. Also it’s easier for me when I get back home to stay with her and them not having to designate specific time for each person. She can be with me whenever I go to see everyone again.

  I here sounds of ammunition in the background and they slowly get softer. I shake my head at my girlfriend. She does not listen to a word I say.

  “Grace…” I warn and I hear her sigh. I know I don’t have to say anything after that my tone is enough.

  “I know…”She responds.

  “I told you stop doing that. Everything is okay. Trust me, my unit is being extremely cautious and we are watching each other’s back. We are trained babe…” I attempt to reassure her.

  “I know but…” She tries to argue but I cut her off not giving her a chance to counter.

  “What did I promise you?” It’s not a rhetorical question.

  I want her to answer so she can remind herself. Also remind me a bit so I don’t forget that I’m not just fighting for myself. I have people waiting for me back home. I’m not planning on letting anyone down. Especially her.

  “That you’d come back.” She answers monotonously. I smirk.

  “Have I let you down before?” Another non-rhetorical question. She groans. “Come on baby answer the question.”

  “No you’ve never let me down before.”

  “And I won’t now.” I answer and I see my sergeant pass by and he shouts loudly for her.

  “She’s a machine!”

  I roll my eyes, shaking my head. I laugh as he does this silly dance. “Zip it Conrad!” I threaten my commanding officer playfully and he pouts, then whimpers and scurries away. I apologize to my girlfriend.

  “It’s fine. Was that one of your platoon buddies, you were telling me about in your letters?”

  Even though he is in charge of the unit he’d prefer if we saw him as an equal when off duty. “Yeah that’s Zach, he’s a trip. He’s such a character, has the energy of a two year old never winds down. Always talks when everyone wants to sleep.”

  She laughs at my description of Zach and it feels so nice to hear that sound. We talk idly and manage a good half hour before I get notice that it’s time for me to finish up. I sigh and we reluctantly say our goodbye. We hang up and I miss her already. I’ve seriously got it bad.

  –

  I take my helmet off and release my tight bun. I notice another package on my bunk and I smile as I think about my mother. Even all the way over here she still finds a way to spoil me. I use my knife to open up the box and see a note from each of my family members. I read the one from my dad first as he tells me about how my mother’s been, sports teams, and work. I love his goofy personality. I read the next letter from my mother and she mentions the good talk that she had with Grace. I’m happy that my mother isn’t as heartbroken as she’s been from my past deployments. She’s got a lot more people this time and I’m grateful for their presence. I read and laugh out loud when I read Tyler’s letter. He informs that he’s taking great care of Grace. He’s doing exactly what I asked, he’s such a sweet boy. I miss him terribly and I can’t wait to see him again. He told me about the day he had with Grace and Doc. My heart melted when he said that he was happy that I found someone to love because now he had two big sisters. He tells me that Grace misses me and that everyone is ready for me come home.

  I drop into my bed and start my reply back to them as I eat my pack of gushers that my mother sent me. They are so delicious. I’ve got a serious addiction to these juicy candies. I finish up my letters and my sergeant comes into the bunks. By the look on his face I know it’s time for us to make a move on the tip that he heard about a couple of weeks back. I’ll finish up these letters when I get back.

  We pile into our vehicles, a four Humvee convey, and head towards the site of the tip. I take a deep breath, readying myself for whatever may be coming.

  “You okay Daniels?” Private Roy hits me on my arm, pulling me from my thoughts. I readjust my weapon in my hands, nodding my head. “Everything's gonna be fine.” He shrugs and smiles. I nod, his words giving me a bit a reassurance. He's only been with our unit for a few months but he's been a great addition. He's a cool kid.

  “Thanks Roy.” He nods and turns back around on his seat.

  As the twenty of us from my unit drive down the dirt path of the streets, we're met by two other units that join our convoy. We reach our destination.

  We get out the car cautiously; weapons raised, eyes alert. I train my weapon in front of me as we make our way into the building. Sergeant Conrad puts his hand up in front of us, pulling his fingers down into a fist. We all stop and wait for direction. He bends down, listening to his surroundings. It's quiet. Eerily quit. He stands, holding up three fingers and points to his left. Roy and two other soldiers flank left and when he does the same with his right three soldiers behind me do the same. He turns and points to me and Samuels to follow him and keep our eyes peeled. I raise my weapon as I move to follow my leader.

  I glance back and the rest of the convoy is making their way either left, right or upstairs. Conrad guides us out a back door that leads to some sort of construction site. We point our weapons high, checking our surroundings for hostiles. I'm not exactly sure what the tip was that
we got only that there was potential danger to the United States and for that we move. No questions asked. The metal bars and plastic covering the middle part of the construction area is making me uneasy. We can't really see what's behind them.

  “We clear?” Conrad asks. Samuels and I survey as best as we can, but it's hard to get a clear visual.

  “There's too many blind spots,” I whisper as we move further into the yard. If there are hostiles, we're sitting ducks right now.

  “I don't like this Sergeant,” Samuels says and I wholeheartedly agree with her.

  “Fall back,” he instructs us and we do as we're told, keeping our weapons raised at the openings in the construction.

  I hear someone shout something in a different language and before we know it, we're being ambushed. Shots ring out and I drop to the ground as quickly as possible, firing back in every direction I assume the shots are coming from.

  “Hostiles at ten and two.” Samuels shouts.

  “I'm hit, I'm hit.” I hear Conrad's voice.

  “Samuels cover me,” I instruct her.

  I duck my head and put my weapon in my right hand as I make my way over to him. I do my best to drag him from the line of fire but like I said before we're sitting ducks out here.

  “We need a medic!” Samuels shouts as the other soldiers come out to help us. I sit Conrad against the wall and pull open his vest to survey to damage.

  “How bad is it?” He lets out a dry laugh as I look down at his wound. It went through the vest and into his stomach. The gun shots continue to ring out in my ears.

  “I need to flip you over,” I shout to him and he just nods.

  I turn him over to see if there's an exit wound. There isn't. I put him back to his original position and I'm sure the look on my face is saying it all right now.

  “It's bad,” he says plainly and I shake my head.

  “I need to get you out of here and to the medic,” I tell him and go to pick him up.

  “No,” he shakes his head. “You're gonna get yourself killed Daniels.”

  “There's too many Corporal, we need to fall back,” I hear Samuels shout. But I'm not leaving Conrad behind.

  “Come help me with Conrad,” I shout.

  Samuels backs her way over to us, continuing to fire as the two soldiers that joined us cover her. I'm not sure where the rest of the soldiers are but I'm assuming that they were ambushed as well.

  “You'll never make it to that door carrying me,” Conrad shouts at us as we try to pick him up.

  “We're not leaving you!” I shout to him.

  “I'm not gonna make it anyways.” He forces out a laugh as he mouth begins to fill with blood. He looks down at his wound, placing a hand over it and pulling it away to look at the blood. “You all need to get out of here. Get these troops out of here Daniels. You have to get them out of here,” He says sternly. I stare at him, begging him to not make me do what he's asking me to.

  “You're their leader now Corporal, now go!” He shouts and coughs up blood.

  I fight back the building tears. I can't cry, I can't be weak. I have to be strong. I have to get the rest of my guys out of here.

  “I'm sorry Sergeant.” I bend down and say.

  He reaches around his neck and pulls his dog tags off, handing them to me. “Could you give these to my mom?” He says and more blood pools in his mouth. “She lives in Springfield, Missouri. Could you tell her that I love her?” He says as tears start to fall. He's only twenty five years old. He should be able to go home and tell his mother himself.

  “I will.” I nod as I stuff the dog tags into my pocket.

  “Now go,” he shouts pushing us away.

  I turn, aiming my gun and firing at the hostiles. I hit two easily and a third one that was running for cover. But no matter how many I hit more keep coming. We start to fall back, making our way back into the building, trying to avoid the flying bullets. I hear another soldier yell 'bomber' as we make our way back to the front of the building. I scan my surroundings quickly as I instruct the three soldiers behind me to keep moving out the door. I'm in charge now, I need to make sure everyone gets out okay.

  I turn to my right and from the side of the building I see a hostile walking towards us with a bomb strapped to their chest and enough C4 to take down this entire building. I yell as loudly as possible for everyone to fall back but it's too loud in here. The soldiers that were clearing the upstairs haven't made it down but I can't stay here.

  “Corporal!” I hear someone to my left yell.

  I look over to see Private Freeman on the ground. I rush over to him, he's been shot in the leg. I need to get him out before the bomber detonates. I flip my weapon over my shoulder and use all my strength to lift him up and drag him towards the door.

  “Get those Humvee's started now!” I yell to the soldiers outside. But it's too late.

  The bomber detonates and everyone that hadn't made it far enough from the building goes flying. I try to sit up, but the ringing in my ears and the fact that the ground is spinning is making it difficult.

  “We have to move!” Samuels shouts to me.

  I try to shake my head clear. To make myself focus on the task at hand. Getting out of here. Samuels helps me to my feet and I look around; the blast killing another four people. I nearly drop to the ground again. I watch as Freeman is loaded into a Humvee and Samuels is at my side again.

  “Corporal we really have to move, now!” She yells again I know she's right. There could be more hostiles moving in on our location. I nod and stand again, securing my weapon in my hand and shout out orders.

  “Check them!” I yell to no one in particular as I point at the soldiers laying on the ground. Two privates do as they're told, but we find no other survivors. “Load up and move out now!” I instruct everyone and I don't have to say it a second time.

  We load into all the Humvees and move the convoy back towards camp. We keep an eye out in case we're being followed. The drive back is silent. A huge difference from when we were on our way here. Phillips was making a joke about something I can't even remember now. It kept our hearts light so the adrenaline didn't overwhelm us. The unexpected got the best of us and we lost a bunch of good men and women. I left a good man behind. I could've done more. I should've done more. I try my best to not let the guilt get to me. I run my thumb over the engravings of his dog tags.

  I feel a gentle squeeze on my shoulder. I look over to Samuels. She's always giving pep talks, giving words of wisdom to get you to lift your head up just a bit higher. I'm not sure it's going to work this time. My face tells her so and she just nods her head keeping quiet. I appreciate the effort though.

  We get back to base and since I'm in charge now I have to speak with the casualty assistance officer and let them know about Sergeant Conrad. I'm not sure who else we lost back there. There were a couple other units and I wasn't familiar with each of them. The rest of my team quietly head to their bunks and take a moment to gather themselves. It's hard to lose your commanding officer, but in this circumstance we didn't only lose our commanding officer, we lost a friend.

  “Where's Quinn and Abel?” I look around, noticing two others that left with us are not here.

  Everyone looks around, I guess in the mayhem we didn't even notice that they were missing. I drop my head and sigh. That's three people from my unit. I'm hoping they just got in the wrong Humvee within all the chaos. I don't think I can take two more deaths.

  I get into my bunk and finally allow myself to cry. I keep it quiet and make it quick because it's not an emotion I'm allowed to wallow in for too long. I sniffle, wipe my face and make my way to deliver news that I wish I didn't have to.

  –

  "Daniels!" I whip my head up from the letter I'm writing to Grace.

  It's been three days since the incident, luckily, Quinn and Abel were okay. They were in the wrong Humvee. But the death of Sergeant Conrad left me in charge and things have been pretty hectic with the scouring through of the
wreckage so the families of fellow soldiers can be notified.

  I stand up quickly and salute my Staff Sergeant. He salutes back and orders me to stand at ease. I place both hands behind my back and look straight ahead waiting for orders.

  "I just wanted to say sorry for your loss Corporal."

  "Thank you sir."

  "You've done well maintaining your team. However we've found a replacement. Now you can shoulder the responsibility."

  "Yes sir."

  "Also I know you're scheduled to be discharged in a couple weeks but we're going to relocate you for further east to help Sergeant Hayward train a new set of privates, can you handle that Corporal?”

  "Yes sir." I nod once.

  "You ship off in a couple of hours. Quickly pack up your gear and head out."

  “Yes sir,” I tell him again and he turns to head out.

  I drop out of my stance and take a seat on my bunk. It's been over a week since I've been able to get a letter out to anyone or call. Training a new set of privates won't give me much time to do that. I need to get something to them so they don't start to worry though. I sigh and shake the thoughts of home from my head. As much as I miss them I know I have to focus on what's going here. I have to stay focused so I can make it back to the ones I love.

  –

  Training these new Privates has proven to be more difficult than expected. I've never seen a group more reluctant to learn and the attitudes on the better half of them is ridiculous. I've had most of them running laps around the base to teach them lessons, but it's hard when they don't care. I don't understand... if you don't won't to be here, then why are you? There are good people that fight with integrity and die. And you want to complain about how bad the conditions are?

  “That's enough for today!” I shout to the privates as they run past me for the 27th time. The equivalent of about nine miles. “Hit the showers and then clean your weapons, I wanna see not one speck of dirt on them when I check them.”

  “Whipping them into shape huh Daniels?” Corporal Milton walks up behind me as the Privates file into their barracks mumbling and groaning about the workout I just put them through.