A Love Worth Saving

by David Horne

  “It was a different time for me.” Perry didn’t feel as if Gordon needed an explanation. But in light of recent events, maybe it was Perry who needed the review of his life choices. “We were together for three years. It wasn’t always good, but he had big plans. Neither of us liked working for other people, and when we pooled our assets, we had enough to start our own business.”

  “Used cars?”

  Perry smiled and shook a finger at Gordon. “Pre-owned automobiles,” he corrected. “That was my idea. But I wanted a new car dealership. It turned out unless you have a considerable chunk of money, you can’t just buy into one. So we thought to start small and work our way up.” He took a deep breath, compared plates, felt heavy with diner grease, and shook his head. “I planned to buy him out in a few years. I wanted to see how far we could get and take over.”

  “Is that what he wanted?”

  Perry shrugged. “I don’t think Rick’s heart was ever in the business. He likes being the boss. But he doesn’t look far enough ahead to see beyond the next payday.”

  “Well,” Gordon said, found another clean napkin and wiped his hands. “You might be able to recover. The detective on the case is a pain in the ass.”

  “You know her?” Perry asked. “She made me feel as if I had something to do with it when she questioned me.”

  “Did you?” Gordon’s face was stony. A look in his eye that suggested he tested Perry.

  “Of course not,” Perry replied. It made his heart flutter. He felt a wave of heat wash over him.

  “I’m sorry,” Gordon said with a soft tone. “It was a bad joke.”

  Perry stood to pay the check. But Gordon took it from his fingers. “My treat,” he said.

  Perry left a tip and stood behind Gordon at the register while he paid the bill. His hair was trimmed symmetrically. Perry could see how Gordon brushed it together at the base of his neck. Wisps of hair touched the trim of his crisp collar. He had an expensive scent too. Perry almost leaned closer to breathe deep before Gordon turned around.

  “Let’s see if we can get that mess cleaned up over at the car lot.” Gordon pulled his smartphone from a pocket, and Perry held the door as they walked back to the car. Perry drove while Gordon talked.

  “Detective Macdonald, how are you?” Gordon said. “This is your favorite attorney.” After a moment he added, “No, your other favorite attorney. Listen, our clients are a little antsy to get their business back to normal. Is there anything we can do on our end to speed up the process?” He nodded and pursed his lips. “Yes, I understand that someone died. I know that it’s an active investigation. But this is a business. Not a private residence. It’s important that our clients cooperate to the best of their abilities. But that means we also need some cooperation from law enforcement.” He gave Perry a look that suggested he listened to the detective spewing rhetoric. He nodded and said, “Yes, that’s fine. Thank you. Listen, tell your chief that my boss is itching to get back on the golf course with him and win back that money.” He didn’t wait very long before he ended the call without saying ‘goodbye.’

  Perry continued to drive as if he wasn’t paying attention to the phone call and hid the fact that Gordon’s spin on the detective impressed him. He pulled into the car lot and parked near the showroom.

  “She’s going to drag her feet.” Gordon stared at the sports car next to Perry’s car. “It’s just something they do. Sometimes they miss something at the initial scene. But I don’t think it’s the case this time.”

  “Want to take it for a spin?” Perry asked.

  Gordon turned to him, grinning. “I really shouldn’t.”

  “You have to get back to work?”

  “Well, I worry that if I take it for a test drive, I might fall in love.” And the words echoed in the small space between them. Perry got out of the car and went inside. He got the keys from the lockbox and returned. He had a dealer plate on a strap.

  Gordon watched Perry open the trunk, secure the strap of the plate before Perry tossed the keys to him.

  “Let’s go,” Perry said as he climbed in the passenger side.

  Gordon sat behind the wheel. He adjusted the seat and rearview mirror. The engine purred when the car started. He carefully negotiated out of the parking lot and drove down the clear road.

  “What?” Gordon said, seeing Perry’s bored expression.

  “If I wanted to take a slow ride, I would have called my grandmother.”

  Prompted by Perry’s passive-aggressive comment, Gordon revved the engine, dropped the gear lower, and popped the accelerator. The sporty little car lurched forward. Gordon breathed through his teeth.

  “Are you going to be late to work?” Perry asked. The car cruised along the frontage road until it slipped into a gap in traffic on the highway. Gordon pressed on the gas pedal and the car bucked from one lane to the next, dodging cars and speeding ahead. “If you get pulled over, you have to pay the ticket.”

  “It’d be worth it.” Gordon glanced from the road to Perry long enough to smile. There was a playful sparkle in his eyes. “Besides, I’m playing hooky today.”

  Chapter Ten

  They drove further and faster than either of them anticipated. It was a ride along the interstate that took them out of the city and into another. The highway veered away from downtown traffic. It was closer to two in the afternoon by the time Gordon pulled off the highway. He turned into a gas station.

  “I’m going to fill up,” he told Perry.

  “You don’t have to do that. We have a corporate gas card.”

  Gordon shook his head. “If I fill up the gas tank I’ll feel less guilty for taking advantage of stealing the car.” He smiled lightly and added, “And you.”

  On the drive back to the business, Gordon relaxed on the accelerator. He wasn’t weaving in and out of cars on the highway. He kept his eyes on the road and spoke to Perry. “So, graduated from Yale,” he started.

  Perry watched out the passenger window until he heard Gordon’s words. Then he looked at the man’s profile. He had a small round chin that tapered into the angular jaw line. Small trimmed sideburns that blended with the expensive haircut, and those eyes, flickering with the onset of ambient light that caught in the orbs, he had an elegant way about him. It was difficult for Perry to take in Gordon’s features and personality and not feel moderately inadequate.

  When he didn’t respond immediately, Gordon continued. “I Googled you.” He glanced at Perry to make sure he was paying attention. “You were active in your college LGBT community. You don’t advertise a lot on your social media pages.”

  “Do you do background searches on all your potential clients?” As soon as it came out, Perry realized it was a stupid question.

  “We do the criminal checks and the conflict of interest checks.” Gordon didn’t hesitate to answer. “I passed on your case for another attorney in the firm to handle it.”

  “You handled it today with the detective,” Perry stated it in a manner that he hoped wasn’t condescending.

  But Gordon shrugged. “They expect us to call them. As much as they harass clients, we reciprocate. It’s the way of the world.” He eased up on the accelerator and slipped through the traffic bubble off the highway exit. The long curve that pulled at them when Gordon hugged the curb, made his shoulder brush against Perry. Sports cars were built with intimate space.

  “Should I ask why you didn’t want the case?” Perry asked. He caught the declaration and felt as much time as they spent together, it was an odd admission.

  “Conflict of interest,” Gordon said. He flashed a smile at Perry. If it was a lawyer joke, it went over his head. The car turned on the frontage road where the dealership perched on a full corner. A prime business location for a dealership, visibility from the highway and the market streets, but it looked lost at the moment.

  There were a few cars lined along the street a few hundred yards from the main building. The cars and people were gawking at the plastic yello
w ribbons of police tape that still surrounded the area where the vehicle stood.

  “That’s the kind of advertising the car lot doesn’t need.” Perry turned away from the small groups of people who took pictures with their phones of the scene.

  “Memorial portraiture,” Gordon mumbled as they drove on and turned into the lot. He parked the vehicle next to his humble car, turned off the engine and sighed.

  “What was that you said?” he asked, half-hearing the words.

  “It was the Victorian way of dealing with loved ones. They photographed the dead. That’s just what those people on the street reminded me of,” he gave the keys to Perry, but they stayed in the car momentarily. “Humans have a sick fascination with death.”

  “It’d be better if it wasn’t related to my business.”

  “I agree.” His demeanor was cheerful and infectious. “But you’ll be okay.” He glanced to the building. The interior lights were off. “Looks like no one’s here.”

  Perry got out of the car. Gordon followed. Perry retrieved the dealer plate from the trunk of the sports car. He unlocked the main doors and let Gordon inside, and then locked the doors behind them. The overnight lights in the building were low but enough to see without turning on more overhead lighting. Perry and Gordon walked to the finance office where Perry put the car keys in the lockbox and took the dealer plate upstairs to the office.

  Once he dropped it on the desk, Perry turned to Gordon. “Can I ask what you meant by ‘conflict of interest’ when you said you passed on being our lawyer?”

  Gordon narrowed his eyes a little. His head tipped moderately to the side. “I guess I’ve been playing coy. I meant it wasn’t a good idea for me to be your personal lawyer because I’m attracted to you.”

  It wasn’t what Perry expected. It was something that gave him an immediate reaction. Starbursts went off in his chest, and showed on his face like a reddening mask; he smiled. Most people spend their lives waiting. They wait to fall in love. But at that moment, Perry felt it was love that fell into him.

  “You’re speechless,” Gordon pointed out. “I’m sorry.”

  “Please don’t apologize. I never expected something like that. And I certainly think it’s probably the nicest thing anyone’s ever said.”

  “But…” Gordon finished and waited. “You’re otherwise taken.”

  “Um, no,” Perry replied. “And I wasn’t going to say anything about deflecting your observation.” He gave Gordon the best forward-facing look he could muster. “I’m flattered.”

  Instead of retreating, Gordon advanced. “I saw you in the office. You already filled out the application for the firm. I had some time and an empty calendar.” While he spoke, the space between them closed. “I was going to take your case. Then I saw you. A picture of you in some Yale sweatshirt, another picture of you with friends,” He stepped very close to Perry. “I knew who you were before you even got to the office. I just wanted to talk to you before I sent you to the lawyer assigned to the case.” His lips were closer to Perry. His breath washed over Perry’s face in sweet waves. “I can’t represent you because I’m attracted to you.”

  When it was repeated, it was impossible to deny. It was as real as their kiss that happened. A spontaneous and explosive meeting between them that felt as important as life and breathing.

  Chapter Eleven

  It wasn’t a whirlwind romantic interlude. Perry was a pragmatic man and still reeling from the idea that this fascinating and attractive man came on to him. It was something out of literature or contemporized television. He found it impossible to sleep because Gordon’s words and proximity in the office overwhelmed him. He felt the pulse of his racing heart in his ears.

  He spent some time scanning the internet for Gordon’s presence. Social media, law pages, the man had a prolific existence. His charisma shone through the pages like the basking of iridescent light that glowed from the smartphone as Perry read about Gordon, or looked at the man’s pictures.

  Lying in bed at midnight, thinking about Gordon’s lips, Perry couldn’t sleep. He grabbed the smartphone on the nightstand and sent a small text to Gordon. The man would see it in the morning.

  “Thanks for the ride tonight. It was a great distraction.”

  After a minute, Perry received a text.

  “I’m lying in bed still thinking about you.”

  The hammering of his heart sped up more. If he’d suffered from high blood pressure, Perry thought he’d have a heart attack from the excitement. Awake, thinking about him, it was more than he could ask for, and Perry never asked for much.

  “I’m not sure what we can do about that?” he texted.

  Then the phone rang. Before Perry spoke, Gordon said, “I’ve never been much for texting.” He heard the sigh through the receiver. “Have you ever been caught up in something that you knew was so right that you never wanted to break away?”

  “I don’t think I’ve ever felt anything like this before,” Perry said honestly. It was beyond his understanding of attraction and lust. “I’m not shy. But you’re so beautiful. It’s hard to be myself around you.”

  “I can’t deny this intensity.” Gordon knew what to say and how to make Perry feel as if he was next to him, in the room. So Perry closed his eyes and imagined his conversation was ‘pillow-talk’ lying next to Gordon and listening to the rhythm of his words. “It’s like I’ve known you for my whole life like I grew up with you in my dreams and in my house. And we’ve never spoken. That’s what I felt when I was with you today.”

  Perry didn’t speak. Eyes closed, his impression of Gordon, the confident man behind the steering wheel of a fast car, speaking to him as they raced over specter streets, engulfed him.

  “How do we move forward and not see each other again?” Gordon asked.

  It was a question that required Perry to respond. “Why wouldn’t we see each other again?”

  “Exactly,” Gordon responded. “I know this is the beginning of something. And I know it came at the most inopportune time. But I feel something for you that I can’t explain, and I know I’ve never felt before.”

  “It’s very fast,” Perry commented. It was an out loud thought and he didn’t regret saying it.

  “I know.”

  “What do we do about it?” Perry asked. Gordon had a lot of words. He might have the answer. All Perry had to do was listen to his words.

  “We keep moving forward. We find out what happens next.” Gordon sighed again. It sounded sexual to Perry as if the man felt the conversation had some erotic overtones. “I want to see what happens next.”

  “Have you always been so upfront with your feelings?”

  “No.” Gordon snickered. “I’ve never had anything like this happen to me before. But I’m not sorry I met you. And maybe you think I’m pushy, maybe borderline stalker, my feelings for you are undeniable.”

  It was Perry’s turn. He knew the silence that followed Gordon’s admission was open for him to insert the reciprocation. But Perry wasn’t as articulate as Gordon. He felt those feelings. The intensity and the longing but saying anything about his feelings never came easy for him. “I feel the same.” It came out monotone. It was anticlimactic.

  Gordon laughed. It wasn’t the response he expected. But the laughter through the phone was mildly infectious, and Perry relaxed more. “We’ll have to get you to open up a little about your feelings.”

  “I’m sorry,” Perry said.

  “Please don’t apologize. You don’t have to apologize to me.”

  Perry lay back, pressing his head against the pillow. The phone lay next to his head. He didn’t have to hold it to his ear to hear Gordon.

  “It’s late,” Gordon spoke as Perry thought it. “Can we have dinner tomorrow night?”

  “I would love that.” And Perry closed his eyes again.

  They were racing down endless streets. He sat very close to Gordon, the wind swirling into the sports car, the intoxicating aroma of his cologne spilling ov
er him. Gordon’s hands tight on the steering wheel, Perry occupying the passenger seat. They could go on forever.

  “I’ll see you tomorrow.” Gordon hung up without another word. But he immediately sent a text. “Goodnight.”

  “See you tomorrow.” Perry returned.

  He set the alarm, put the smartphone in the nightstand, and lay back against the pillow. His hand slid under the sheets, stretched out to the open, cold space next to him. Gordon’s words caressed him, but he couldn’t feel the man lying next to him. More than anything else, Perry wanted that sensation.

  Chapter Twelve

  Rallying the troops was important. There were a lot of confused and disheartened faces peering back at Perry as he stood before the group of associates before they opened for business.

  “It’s a lot to take in,” he started. Never one for speeches, he knew it was important for the people who worked for him and Rick to see they were affected by the recent events. And if he showed them recovery, they might draw strength from his example. “I’d like to think we’re more than a business here. Many of you have been here since we opened the doors. I’d like to think we’ve grown into a family.”

  Rick was absent from the meeting. Perry sent out a general text first-thing in the morning. The mandatory meeting meant everyone needed to show up. It frustrated Perry to think Rick wasn’t willing to show the others that he was as much a part of the business as they were. It was another illustration of his ability to not commit to something for any length of time.

  “We’re going to try our best to turn this tragedy around. I know all of you are concerned. I’m not going to lie to you; I’m a little worried too. But I’m open to suggestions. Anyone think of something we can to do bring in customers. I’m willing to try anything.”