Desperate Measures

by Elle Casey

  In went the money book. Then six other cookbooks that Aimee couldn’t live without. Next went her favorite mixing bowls – three of them – and several wisks, spoons and her set of very expensive gourmet knives. She grabbed her pastry brushes and rolling pins out of one drawer and then looked around the kitchen in desperation. She had so many things in here that she used. What to take and what to leave? The cookie sheets and jelly roll pans weren’t going to fit in the box.

  Kiki came into the kitchen. “I have half the boxes in. I don’t have room for all of it in one trip.” She gestured to the box Aimee was in the middle of packing. “We’ll take that one and come back later for the rest.”

  “I’m just worried that if Jack sees I’m in the process of leaving, he’ll make it impossible for me to get back in.”

  “I’ll handle him, don’t you worry. Grab that box and let’s go.”

  Aimee didn’t argue. She completely trusted Kiki when she said she’d handle Jack. She pitied him, actually. She could tell that Kiki could be a very determined person when she wanted to be. Aimee was jealous of that particular trait.

  Aimee dropped the box on the back seat of Kiki’s car and went around to get in the passenger side. She looked over the dashboard as she buckled her seatbelt and Kiki climbed in. “I’ve never been in a car like this.”

  “What? A Camaro?”

  “Is this a Camaro? Cool. No, I meant like, a guy’s car.”

  Kiki rolled her eyes. “This is no guy’s car. This is a badass bitch’s car.” She looked over at Aimee and lifted an eyebrow. “And don’t you forget it.”

  Aimee laughed. “Yes, ma’am!”

  “That’s better,” said Kiki. “Now hold onto your bobby socks. I’m about to show you how a badass bitch’s car rolls.” She looked up pointedly at the strap on the ceiling near Aimee’s door. “You may want to grab that oh-shit handle up there.”

  “The what handle?” asked Aimee, following Kiki’s gaze. “Oh. I get it.” She put her hand through the loop and gripped it. “Ready to roll.”

  Kiki turned the engine over and gave the car a little gas.

  Aimee could feel the rumbling make its way up through her legs and butt to reach her chest. “Whoa. How fast does this thing go?”

  “You don’t want to know,” said Kiki, backing out of the driveway and shifting the car into drive. She pressed on the accelerator, laying rubber in the road outside of Aimee’s house with a roar and a squeal.

  Aimee twisted around to see the black trails on the asphalt and the smoke of burned rubber behind them. She looked over at Kiki with a huge grin on her face. “Jack is going to hate that.”

  Kiki smiled, keeping her eyes on the road. “That’s what I figured.”

  They laughed most of the way to O’Malleys.

  Chapter 14

  KIKI PARKED THE CAMARO JUST outside the front entrance of the bar. She knew it would get plenty of admirers, making it impossible for someone to break into it with so many people around. She had a pretty good car alarm on it and a GPS tracking device too in case someone got stupid and tried to steal it. But she was more concerned right now with the cookbook bank that Aimee had in one of the boxes. If her guess was right, that was where the golf club money had gone. The pieces of Aimee’s puzzle were slowly falling into place. Kiki felt really good about giving her a place to stay. She planned to set the rent very low so Aimee’s money would last long enough, at least until she got a job and could stand on her own two feet. Kiki wasn’t going to let her friend wallow in her sad circumstances for long. She hated negative vibes.

  “I haven’t been out for drinks in ages,” said Aimee, getting out of the car and meeting Kiki on the sidewalk.

  “I haven’t been to this place in ages,” said Kiki, ignoring the many admiring looks she was already getting.

  “Everyone’s staring at you,” whispered Aimee.

  “They’re staring at you, too. Just ignore them.”

  “I can’t,” she giggled. “I’m not used to people looking at me like that. It’s girls too, not just the guys.”

  “Yeah. Try not to take it personal when they look like they want to scratch your eyes out.”

  “Oh. Okay. Good advice.”

  Kiki noticed Aimee moved a little closer to her side, eyeing the women warily although trying valiantly to look like she didn’t care.

  “Look, there’s Elizabeth at the bar,” said Kiki.

  “Elizabeth!” squealed Aimee, running over on her tiptoes to get to her.

  Kiki watched as Elizabeth’s face lit up and her arms opened for the inevitable hug. It was either that or get mauled. Aimee’s intentions were clear, since she had her arms up and open wide before she was even halfway there. Kiki was jealous of Aimee’s easy joy. Even her dick of an ex-husband hadn’t gotten her down for long. Kiki hated to think what she’d do to a guy who tried to control her like that turd was obviously controlling Aimee. It was now her personal mission to break Jack’s hold over her. Maybe she could get Elizabeth to help. She seemed to have a good head on her shoulders – smart and serious with good business sense.

  “I figured it out,” said Elizabeth, when Kiki walked up.

  “Figured what out?”

  “How I had miscounted.”

  Kiki looked at her in confusion for a minute. “Miscounted?”

  “The money. That I paid Aimee? I had put my grocery money in the stack by accident. I meant to put it in my purse, but inadvertently included it with the other cash.”

  Kiki smiled. “That’s been bothering you for two weeks, hasn’t it?”

  “Guilty.” She shrugged. “What can I say? I’m anal about money. It’s a curse.”

  “Don’t worry about it. I am too.”

  Aimee nodded. “Me too.”

  Elizabeth and Kiki laughed.

  “What?” she said in mock offense. “I could be anal with money, too. You guys don’t know.”

  Kiki waved the bartender over. “What do you guys want? First round’s on me.”

  “White wine,” said Aimee and Elizabeth at the same time, grinning at each other when they realized they had the same taste.

  “Three chardonnays, please,” said Kiki, giving the cute guy behind the bar a half-smile. He stared at her in shock, momentarily frozen in place.

  The other two girls looked first at him and then Kiki. Then back to the guy.

  “Yoo hoo! Three chardonnays,” said Aimee in a singsong voice.

  The bartender snapped himself out of his reverie and quickly moved to get three glasses.

  “Wow, you had that guy on cloud nine with just three words. I’m impressed,” said Elizabeth.

  “Don’t be. It gets really old after a while.”

  “Well, if you don’t like it, why do you make yourself so beautiful?” asked Aimee, taking a pretzel out of the bowl on the bar and crunching down on it. “If you went out without makeup and wore, like, ugly pants or something, maybe no one would look at you. Or maybe not so much.”

  “No makeup? Are you kidding me?” asked Kiki, acting shocked and appalled. “Wash your mouth out with soap, girl. I never go out without makeup on. And I never ever wear ugly clothes. Life’s too short to wear polyester.”

  “Sounds like a curse,” said Elizabeth, laughter twinkling in her eyes.

  “It is, girls. It truly is,” said Kiki, sighing dramatically.

  Aimee turned to Elizabeth. “So, what’s new with you? How was work?”

  Kiki paid the bartender while she waited for Elizabeth’s answer.

  “Well, actually, I have really, really big news.”

  “Dish it, baby,” said Kiki, handing out glasses of wine and taking a sip of hers. She closed her eyes for a moment while the liquid slid across her tongue, before swallowing and inhaling the tiniest bit of air so she could catch the flavors better. “Mmmm. Good.”

  “Well, I quit today. I actually quit my job.”

  Aimee grabbed Elizabeth’s arm in a death grip, almost causing Elizabeth to spill her
wine. “No! Oh my god, that’s huge news! Huge!”

  “Wow. That is big,” said Kiki. “What happened?”

  Elizabeth shrugged. “I don’t know. I think I just snapped or something. The head partner came into my office and put this horrible file down on my desk and told me to cancel my plans for coming here and for the weekend, and then he walked out to go have cocktails with his friends.”

  “Penis!” said Aimee, loud enough that a few guys nearby looked over and laughed. Her face went a little red. “Oops. Too loud?”

  Kiki nodded, saying nothing. She was looking forward to what Aimee would say after she’d had another glass of wine. A quick glance showed she had nearly finished her first one already. Uh-oh.

  “Yes. He is ... that,” said Elizabeth. “He always has been. But for some reason, today, it was just too much. So I took that file, put it on his desk, and wrote out my resignation letter.”

  “So do they even know you quit?” asked Aimee.

  “Not yet. They’ll find out on Monday. He never comes in on weekends.”

  “Because he’s had you to do it,” said Kiki.

  “Exactly,” said Elizabeth, nodding at her.

  Kiki raised her glass. “I propose a toast. Here’s to saying go eff yourself to dicks, pricks, and penises who try to keep us from enjoying our girls’ night out.”

  Aimee and Elizabeth raised their drinks. “Cheers!”

  They all clinked their glasses and took sips of the wine.

  “Wow,” said Aimee, finishing off her glass, “this is good stuff.”

  “No garbage wine for my friends,” said Kiki, glad the bartender had done the smart thing and poured them something fresh and nice from an area of Napa she happened to like.

  “So, what are you going to do now?” asked Aimee. “Start your own firm?”

  “Nope. I’m out of that game. I’m going to open my own business, but not doing accounting for other clients. I’m going to do the accounting for my own place.”

  “What kind of place?” asked Kiki, a serious look on her face. She really wanted to know what this intelligent woman had planned for herself. Kiki was at a loss as to what she wanted to do, but she was thinking along the same lines as Elizabeth. She wanted to sink or swim based on her own efforts. Not those of a strip club owner or Board member or anyone else.

  “I don’t really know. Something fun. That’s the only criteria I’ve come up with so far.” She smiled. “I know this sounds crazy, but I feel free. For the first time in a long time.”

  Kiki nodded. “I do know what you mean, actually.”

  “Me too,” said Aimee. “Especially now, thanks to Kiki.”

  Elizabeth looked at the two of them, glancing back and forth. “What’d I miss?”

  Kiki frowned. “I had to stage a little intervention at Aimee’s house. Her ex is a serious ... ”

  “ ... penis. He’s a serious penis, is what he is,” finished Aimee, signaling to the bartender for another glass of wine.

  “Hey, don’t knock the penis,” said Kiki, smiling. “They’re not always bad. In fact, sometimes they’re very, very good.”

  Elizabeth laughed. “Agreed. Okay, so he’s a prick. Does that work?”

  Kiki shrugged. “It works. It doesn’t adequately express how much of a jerk he is, but it’ll do.” She took a sip of her wine before continuing, getting a nod of approval from Aimee first. “He tried to keep her from coming out by stealing her keys. He’s also been bullying her. She probably didn’t tell you this, but he sent her to the E.R. last week, after our meeting.”

  “No!” gasped Elizabeth. She reached over and rubbed Aimee’s arm. “Sorry, hon, I didn’t know about that. Are you okay?”

  “Yes. I ended up seeing Kiki there when she was coming out from visiting her friend.”

  “Oh, yeah, I remember that,” said Elizabeth. “How is she? Your friend?”

  “She’s good now. But back into the mess that started it all. She’s part of the reason I quit. I had to get out of the game before it took me over. Too many girls get lost there in that garbage.”

  “I’m glad you did that,” said Elizabeth. “It took a lot of guts.”

  “She’s got guts in spades,” said Aimee. “I need to borrow some of them.”

  “Don’t worry. As my roommate, you qualify for ass-kicking lessons, on the house.”

  “You guys are roommates now?” asked Elizabeth. “Sounds like fun.”

  Kiki looked at Aimee. “It’s going to be an adventure, I think.”

  “You know what, guys?” said Aimee. “We’re all in the same boat now, kind of. We’re all unemployed and looking for a new life! How cool is that?” She grinned at Kiki and Elizabeth.

  “The big question is, what are we going to do with this opportunity?” Kiki raised her eyebrow, looking at both women and waiting for their responses ... wondering if they were thinking the same thing she was.

  Chapter 15

  ELIZABETH LOOKED AT KIKI AND then Aimee. Her accountant’s mind did a quick calculation. The three of them had talents and assets that could be leveraged for each other’s mutual benefit. And their personalities seemed to mesh well. Maybe it wouldn’t be such a crazy idea ...

  “What do you guys think about combining forces?” she asked, purposefully being vague, wondering how they’d take it.

  “I think it could work. We have some complimentary skills,” said Kiki, taking another sip from her wineglass. “But it wouldn’t work unless we were all in.”

  “That’s what I was thinking,” said Elizabeth.

  Aimee looked from Elizabeth to Kiki. “What exactly are you guys saying? Are you talking about us doing something? Like the three of us? Together?”

  Elizabeth nodded.

  Kiki nodded too.

  Aimee smiled, her lip resting on the edge of her empty glass. “Count me in. Sounds like fun. What is it we’re going to do?” She went to take a sip of her drink, apparently forgetting it was empty. “Hey ... who drank my wine?”

  Kiki took the glass from her. “You did, you lush.”

  Aimee stuck her lower lip out. “Party pooper.”

  Elizabeth took Aimee’s glass from Kiki and put it on the bar, shaking her head at the bartender who asked if she wanted another one.

  “Am I cut off already?” asked Aimee, clearly disappointed.

  “No,” said Elizabeth, “but before we get too tipsy, I’d like to talk about this some more. And we need your head in the game.”

  Aimee saluted. “Okay, coach. Go for it. I’m all ears. What’s the play going to be?”

  “Let’s go find a place to sit,” said Kiki, looking around.

  Elizabeth spied an empty booth, just recently vacated by a group of guys. “There!” She pointed and got up off the bar stool she’d been sitting on.

  The three girls quickly went over to claim the table before someone else could. The place was starting to fill up, making the few booths around the edges of the room prime real estate.

  “This is perfect. We can stare at people standing at the bar this way,” said Aimee. “I love people-watching.”

  “Scooch over, my butt’s hanging off the side,” said Elizabeth, nudging Aimee.

  “Hey! Now I can’t see the guys at the bar!” she complained as she was moved to the inside of the booth.

  “Come over on this side, whiner” said Kiki. “The view’s much better. I’ll trade you.”

  The all stood up and played musical chairs so that Aimee was sitting on one side by herself with a full view of the bar and the other two were facing her.

  Once they were settled in, Elizabeth began. “Okay, so here’s what I propose, as the jumping off point for our discussion.” She snapped her fingers at Aimee. “Hey … focus.”

  Aimee held up her hand, still staring at the bar. “I know, but ... who is that guy? The one over there, the big one in jeans ... ”

  Elizabeth and Kiki looked over.

  “Which guy in jeans?” asked Kiki. “They’re all wearing
jeans.”

  “The hot one. With the wavy hair. Holding the beer.”

  Elizabeth shared a smile with Kiki and said, “You just described at least half of the guys here.”

  Aimee waved them away in frustration. “No, silly. That one. Oh my god!” Aimee looked at Elizabeth and Kiki in a panic. “He just caught me looking at him.”

  “Oh, I see which one you mean now,” said Kiki smiling.

  “Is she talking about the one walking over here?” asked Elizabeth.

  “Yep.”

  “He’s coming over here?” squeaked Aimee, her eyes as big as saucers.

  “Be cool, Aimee. He’s looking right at you,” whispered Kiki under her breath.

  Elizabeth looked at Aimee in amusement. She’d never seen someone so freaked out over a close encounter with the male kind. Clearly, Aimee had been out of the dating game for a while.

  “Hi,” said the deep male voice coming from the cute guy Aimee had pointed out. He really was cute, too. Holy hunk, thought Elizabeth. She sure can pick ‘em.

  Aimee looked up. “Hi,” she said. Her face was bright red.

  He looked at Kiki and Elizabeth and nodded, saying, “Hello,” before turning his attention back to Aimee.

  “Hi,” said Elizabeth, happy to see he was here for Aimee and not Kiki as she had originally suspected he might be. She wanted Aimee to get some attention from the guys here. She had a feeling that women standing near Kiki didn’t get that experience very often, and Aimee was definitely in need of validation of her cuteness.

  “So ... I don’t think I’ve seen you here before,” he said to Aimee.

  “No. I never come here. But you look familiar to me ... ”

  Elizabeth had never seen him before, but she didn’t come here very often.

  “We’ve met once before. I gave you my card. Outside the hospital ... ”

  Aimee’s face colored and her hand flew to her mouth. “That was you? Oh, wow. You look different out of your police uniform.”

  Kiki snorted, looking at Elizabeth and lifting her eyebrows.

  Elizabeth said nothing, deciding to watch it all play out in silence.