The steam coming from the large, bubbling pot clouded the kitchen window as the evening’s meal cooked and thickened. The crimson sky cast pink light into her home. She lit several large kerosene lamps, and the outside went black as the kitchen became aglow with amber light. With the meal stewing, and a small bowl of chopped apples tossed with sugar for dessert, she wiped her hands on a towel and walked back into her art room where she reread his letter. This time, her focus went to their awful lives, and it made her feel better about her own. “If this is what you have to offer me, then I am content not to be with you!” She pushed the letter into the box again, slammed down the lid, then wiped a tear from her cheek. The heaviness of loving him fought with her convictions.
Back in the kitchen, she splashed water on her face, then checked the stew. Their chubby puppy waited on the porch each evening for his master to come home. They had named him Boones after Caleb’s grandfather’s old hound dog. She heard him bark, heralding the arrival of her husband at the end of a long workday. When she came out of the kitchen, she noticed the fire in the parlor’s stove had gotten low, and she cursed Jacob for his intrusion. It was too late now. Removing her stained apron, she waited at the entry as Caleb played with the pup before he came in.
“Ah … it’s good to be home, sweetheart.” He swept her up in his arms, lavishing kisses on her neck. The puppy tried desperately to get between them, his little tail hitting the floor with a steady beat.
“Boones, go lay down,” Caleb commanded, and the pup reluctantly obeyed. He chucked Jessica under the chin. “I didn’t get a chance for lunch today. I’m starving.”
Her heart was glad to see him, and her mind prayed the stew would be tasty.
He took a step back. “Have you been drinking?”
Jessica bit her bottom lip. “Just a little. I was feeling tense. I’ll tell you about it later.” He was easily distracted by her kiss and wanted more. “Caleb, stop.” She giggled. “Supper will burn, then you’ll be without both meals!”
Chapter Nineteen
Caleb pulled away from his wife with a groan and let her return to the kitchen. Sitting on the bench in the vestibule, he removed his boots and entered the parlor. After stuffing his pipe with aromatic tobacco, he stooped down in front of the stove where he kept a silver container full of thin sticks to light his pipe. He looked at the roughly made piece and laughed to himself at one of his earlier attempts at silversmithing. Noticing the fire was all but warmed ashes, he reached for the poker. “I thought I showed her how to keep this going all day,” he commented under his breath. Placing more wood in the stove, he quickly got the flames blazing.
He sat in his leather chair and rested in the peacefulness of his home. With his wife in the kitchen and his dog by his side, he felt as if he was still dreaming his future, but this was real and he could finally put his days on the trails behind him. Levi’s news was disquieting, and he searched for a solution that would dissolve his past once and for all. None came to mind. Since finding out about the scout looking for him and the others, there had been no signs for concern. He found himself relaxing in the thought that nothing had come of it. Some days, he reminded himself not to get comfortable in thinking he had escaped the law completely, but his life was full and he refused to dwell on it.
The smell of the stew was making his stomach talk when Jessica came out and announced supper was ready.
~
Taking Caleb by the hand, Jessica led her husband to the kitchen table. It was set as she had done for the past several weeks, with a flower-printed tablecloth, a gift from Austin and Laura, china place settings, each with a glass stemware for wine, and a cup and saucer for tea and coffee. The silverware they received as a wedding present from Caleb’s boss was a touch of elegance in its hand-crafted simplicity. The spices of nutmeg and cinnamon she purchased in town mingled with their homegrown rosemary and sage, permeating the whole house with heady scents. For once, she felt as if she had made a decent meal. Then she saw Caleb looking for something and her heart sunk. She had forgotten to pick up bread from the baker’s shop. Not having mastered the skill of bread making, she resorted to purchasing a loaf.
“Sorry about the bread, and I didn’t have time to make biscuits.”
“That’s fine. This looks and smells remarkable. I’ll have to thank June for teaching you how to cook.” He ate with enthusiasm.
At the end of the meal, he sat back with his glass of deep-red wine. “Thank you, Jess. Not bad. You’re getting better, and it was just what I needed. Now what is this about you being tense?”
“As you know, I visited Aunt June this afternoon and—”
“I suppose she gave you hell for not coming sooner.”
“She was very happy to see me. She sends her love. I invited them for supper in a few days. She said she’d bring the main meal.” Caleb’s face lit up, and she gave him a smirk.
“It’s good of you to invite them over.” He got up and started for the living room.
“Caleb, my parents will be here in a few weeks.”
“Is that so? Traveling at this time of year? They must want to see you very badly. You must be pleased.” Everything Jessica had spoken about her parents gave her the impression that her opinionated, conservative, albeit well-meaning parents were people he could do without meeting. He seemed unconcerned.
“Pleased?” She crossed her arms. “I can’t say it will be all that pleasant, especially after they see where and how we live. This isn’t something they’re used to, but I will not let them impose themselves on us! And they can’t say a wrong word about you or I’ll. …”
“Humph! I can handle myself, sweetheart. I don’t see why you need to be so upset about this. You have your own life, independent of them. Besides, they’re coming a long way to see you. They must love you very much. I don’t think marrying me is what they had in mind for you, and I couldn’t give a donkey’s ass about that, but they’re still your parents and your love and respect is important to them.”
Placing her fists on her hips, she bit her bottom lip. She was hoping he’d be more upset by this obvious intrusion. They could lament over it together, forming a formidable wall of resistance against her parents’ onslaught of vocalized judgments, but instead, she got a lecture.
“You don’t know how they are.” Following him into the main room where he bent down in front of the stove, she continued to enlighten him. “They have strict rules, society rules. Don’t you care if they make me feel as if I’ve made a bad choice in you and our way of life?”
He looked up, and the warmth of his smile eased the tension in her body. Laying down the steel poker, he rose slowly. “Come here. I think whatever you’ve been drinking has clouded your judgement.”
Releasing her rigid stance, she walked into his arms. He was over a foot taller, and she fight nicely into his body. He held her and kissed the top of her head. She inhaled his smell of spiced sweat and burning wood, and she lingered in his warm embrace on this cool night.
“You’re the only one whose opinion of me matters,” she heard him say.
She squeezed him, then threw her head back for him to kiss her. Losing her balance, he caught her by the waist.
“I think you need to lay down.” He chuckled.
“Maybe I do.” She took his hand and led him to the bedroom.
They made love in a rush of passion, and afterward, Caleb looked all but spent. Jessica rolled over and placed her head on his chest. The time floated by in her contentment. The evening was dark and she could have stayed like this until dawn, but her body became alert with the thought of her parents’ visit. “Are you sleeping?” she asked.
“Yes,” he said in a low grunt.
Her head felt light and her tongue was loose. “No, you have no idea what they can do, how they can make you feel. I love them, surely, but I don’t want to feel inferior.”
Caleb’s chest rose and fell under her head. “Don’t let them make you feel anything other than what you feel n
ormally.” He sat up and winced.
“Caleb? Is it your arm?”
“It’s a damn weather barometer. Every time the weather cools, it hurts.”
“Do you want me to rub on the salve you got from the doctor?”
“Stop being so fussy with me. I can bear the discomfort. I already have.”
“Fine.” She plopped her head on the pillow. “Will you ever tell me how it happened?”
Caleb laid back and placed his good arm over his face. “It’s a boring story, nothing to talk about. Just a careless accident. Slipped on an old, slick log and met with a sharp stick that cut pretty deep. Happened a long time ago.”
“Then why not tell me sooner? When you asked me about the scar it left, I told you about the time I fell from a horse when I was ten and a rock gashed my leg.”
They went back into the kitchen and devoured the sliced apples marinated in sugar and cinnamon, the air of lust still with them. “No need to be so proud, Mr. Cantrell.” Jessica licked her upper lip. Beyond his half smile, she detected a touch of sadness in his eyes. It always concerned her, that look of his, as if haunted by memories. She couldn’t bring herself to ask him about his past. Perhaps she didn’t want to know.
Chapter Twenty
Standing at the kitchen window, Jessica watched the rain drip from the eaves as she warmed her hands around a cup of tea. She surveyed the field, the green, glistening wetland. With one hand, she pulled her shawl tighter around her shoulders. Soon she would go into her art room to finish the painting for her latest commission. The window in that room overlooked the barn and the narrow trail that led to Sally and Ben’s home. The winding path had a lovely feel, and she took pleasure in its simple connection between their homesteads. The trees and bushes on each side of the path’s entrance looked as if they had been planted with care. She loved nature’s garden. The season would change and bring forth the wildflowers and new grasses and their heavenly scents. For now, the world was quiet, cool, and damp with the heady aromas of fir, pine, and deadened leaves.
This morning, her parents’ visit loomed. With another sip of tea, she hoped her nausea would ease. Caleb is right. They do deserve my love and respect. A feeling of nostalgia softened her anxiety. I suppose I can get through this, even if it’s practically making me sick.
Caleb came in from saddling up his horse and gave Jessica a kiss before going to work. Their days started early, and by the time he was ready to head to his workbench at the Higgins Silver Shop, the morning chores were done. In the two months since their wedding, they had purchased a batch of young chickens, a goat, and a cow. The goat kept the field mowed, the chicks would be laying soon, and the cow was giving milk. It was Jessica’s job to get fresh water and food to the chickens, counting them each morning to be sure none were taken by a coyote or an eagle. The wire around the wooden coop was not always reliable—they’d gone from fourteen chicks to ten. She also milked the cow, Suzy, after a lesson from Sally.
Most days, as she gently worked the teats in the early hours, Jessica mused at how her life had changed. Today, while Caleb fed the horse and checked the livestock supplies, she milked Suzy, and recalled the social balls she once attended, the grand parties she was always invited to, and the theatre and ballet she and Frederick had attended regularly. As her mind wandered, she lost track of what she was doing and got a squirt of milk in her face. Letting out a startled laugh, she stopped her daydreaming.
Their large garden lay dormant, but for the tender starts of kale and cabbage. The only thing showing growth today were the puddles in between the rows. Caleb had taught her what he learned from his time with the Klamath Indians in Oregon and from Ben and Sally. Jessica took in all the knowledge and tried her best to perform her duties, though if it were not for her art, she would feel unsatisfied. It was one thing to make a meal, clean a house, and do farm chores while she waited for a painting to dry or inspiration to come, but it was quite another to have it as the sole purpose in life.
She knew her heart would not be content with only well-done chores. She observed Caleb doing the same in his world. He loved his land and his work at Higgins, yet he was intent on making his own art with silver and stones, eager to finish his shop. Sharing a passion for art with him gave her such pleasure, yet it seemed to be one of their only shared passions other than sex and the land. His talk of travel to the Klamath Reservation made her uneasy, as did the long walks he took in the surrounding woods. On several occasions, before he left for work, she would spy him standing very still in the middle of the field, as if he were contemplating the depths of his soul, a place in him she might never be invited to. There was so much to learn about this man she loved, and she had to remind herself that even though they courted for many months, they had only been married for just over two.
“No eggs yet,” Jessica said. “I’ve made some warm oats, and there are nuts from the market. Suzy let me milk her without complaint. Not a moo from her.” She decided not to tell him about the milk sprayed in her face. It was hard enough to earn his respect as an equal partner on their land.
Caleb gave a short laugh. “Good ol’ Sally.” She felt him examining her. “You look a little pale this morning. Are you getting enough food?” He gulped his breakfast and drank down the milk. “I’ll bring home salted pork and beans for a stew.” After wiping his mouth, he took a licorice bark stick from his shirt pocket and worked it around his teeth. He then grabbed the small tin she had filled with his lunch and kissed her cheek. The mere mention of salted pork made her stomach flop. She tried to breathe steadily. It didn’t help.
“Jess, you need to eat. I have to go. Promise me you’ll have more than a cup of tea.”
“Yes, of course.” She sighed. “I’m anxious about my parents’ visit. They’ll be here soon.”
“It’ll be fine, sweetheart.” He kissed her.
His lips tasted bittersweet from the licorice bark lingering on his mouth. Then he was out of the house. “Stay, Boones,” she called to the pup chasing after him.
She watched him ride down the road and onto the bridge, when suddenly, her stomach lurched. Barely making it to the kitchen, she threw off her shawl and vomited into the tub in the sink. With stomach spasms, she steadied herself against the counter and wiped her mouth. Another wave of warning, and again her body heaved up what remained in her stomach. With labored breath, a thought came to her in a rush. This wasn’t her trepidation over her parents’ visit.
“Oh, my Lord!” On trembling legs, she went into the parlor and sat on the red, paisley chair, the warm stove crackling in front of her. She counted on her fingers. A smile crept over her face, and she closed her eyes and placed a hand on her lower belly. Boones scampered over. She held him close to her cheek while he wiggled in her arms. “A baby, Boones. We’re having a baby!” Tears rimmed her eyes as he licked her face. Setting him down, she paced the floor. Caleb. He had agreed to children, but not yet. How could she have let this happen? Then her mind turned to Jacob. This would put him even farther away. She sat and wiped her face with the towel tied to her apron. As hard as she tried, she couldn’t lessen her love for him. He was like an old, beloved shawl around her heart—one she couldn’t throw away, even though another of greater comfort had taken its place. She stored it safely to try on now and then when the memory of it became too great to ignore. Love and loss filled her now, and she touched the pleated material of her skirt below her waist. She said a prayer.
Chapter Twenty-one
“Poor Thomas!” June exclaimed. “How could Bethany even consider leaving him to come out here?”
“Sounds as if he’s on the mend,” Burt said. “Didn’t she say Thomas was adamant that she visit us and Jessica? Let’s not make more of this than it is, though my sister traveling alone is quite the news.”
Jessica took the telegram from her aunt with a shaking hand and read it through watering eyes. She wept over the thin, yellow paper. Her father had suffered a heart attack. Her aunt guided her to a chair.
“Now, now. This is all there is to it. Just a bit of an interference in his life, as Uncle Burt has said. I’m glad you were here when we got the news. We can plan your mother’s visit together. I’m afraid Christmas will be more subdued.”
Jessica blew her nose into her handkerchief. “I came here with joyous news, but now I feel just awful to be so happy.” Her aunt and uncle stared at her in anticipation. “We’re having a baby.”
“Oh! This is the best news!” her aunt cried to her uncle. “Did you hear that? A baby!”
“Yes, June. I’m right here. Congratulations, my dear. How is Caleb taking it?”
“How do you think he is?” Aunt June answered for her. “Overjoyed! Am I right?”
Her uncle smiled knowingly. Jessica tilted her head. “I know he wasn’t expecting this so soon. I told him after the doctor confirmed it, and he’s been very quiet.” She put a hand to her head, her emotions confused by the dichotomy of life events clashing into one another.
“Of course he will,” June said. “Oh, dear, are you all right? Should I get my smelling salts?”
Waving away her suggestion, Jessica steadied herself. “I’ll be fine,” she said, though inside, she battled with her emotions as she tried to keep her sensibility.
June clapped her hands. “Now let’s see what needs to be done before Bethany arrives.” She was off to the kitchen.
Her uncle Burt gave her a hug. “I’m sorry about your father, dear. And Caleb will come around, don’t worry.”
Jessica started for home with the weight of the world on her shoulders. Her father had suffered a heart attack. She couldn’t believe it. Her mother was traveling out here alone. That was even more unbelievable!
~
Caleb brought the carriage around to the front of Burt and June’s home. Jessica spied her mother on the front porch. Her heart lurched. As soon as Caleb helped her down, Jessica ran into her arms. It had been so long since she felt the warmth of maternal love. She didn’t want to let go. To her surprise, her mother brought her closer. Joy rose in her. All was forgiven.
Sacred Terrain (Traveled Hearts Series Book 2) Page 9