Sacred Terrain (Traveled Hearts Series Book 2)

by Veronica Mahara

  He ran his hand over his goatee. “Jessica, I’m so sorry, forgive me. I should have gone with you to the river. I … I can’t forgive myself.” His words were choked with emotion.

  Jessica pressed into him. “Don’t torture yourself. Let’s be happy now. We’ll have time to talk later.”

  Caleb squeezed her slight body until she laughed. He took her hand. “Come on, let’s go inside. I have lunch and cider.”

  ~

  Jessica felt faint as she sat down at the kitchen table. She swept her hands over the smooth, wooden surface and placed her head down.

  “You’re not well, Jess.” His hand was on her forehead. “Let me get you that cider.”

  He took two pretty glasses down from the shelf, hand painted with flowers and golden rims. He poured the beverage into each of them, then handed one to her. She drank it down right away. As she placed the glass on the table, she noticed that the expensive, delicate crystal wasn’t anything she had owned in her modest kitchen.

  He quickly gave her a refill. “I can’t believe you’re here, Jessica. The telegram said you’d arrive today, but I … I. …” His shoulders lowered and he shook his head. “I’m in shock, to tell you the truth.”

  “So am I. It’s been a long way home, Caleb. I’m so happy to be back.” She began to sob.

  He bent over and put his arms around her bony shoulders. She patted his hands. “We’ll be back to ourselves soon, won’t we?”

  “Yes, and the sooner the better.”

  Jessica touched his beautiful face. Her hand went to her swirling head. “I think I need to lie down.”

  Caleb immediately stood up and helped her to the bedroom. She entered the room, and a rush of memories flooded over her—the lovely simplicity, the quiet retreat she often dreamed of while she had lain on the ground, hurt and frightened. “It’s just as I left it.”

  She was still wearing her boots and coat, and Caleb helped her remove them. She saw him looking at her dress. “I had to get a new one.” His eyes showed his despair, and she had no words to comfort him.

  She climbed into the bed and rested her head on the soft pillow. She began to shiver, and Caleb placed a heavy blanket over her. He leaned over and kissed her mouth. She felt his warm lips and wanted more. “Don’t go.” After reassuring her he’d be by her side, she closed her eyes, inhaled a ragged intake of air, then her body relaxed as she exhaled. She had made it home.

  Chapter Forty-nine

  Jessica woke from her nap, and for a moment, she didn’t know where she was. Then she smiled as the day’s events came rushing back to her. She raised herself to peer out the window above the bed. The forest behind the house seemed innocent enough, but it made her ill at ease. She pushed aside the covers and found her coat. The room was warm with the small, wood burner crackling softly in its hearth, yet she felt chilled.

  As soon as she entered the main room, the heat from the large, potbellied stove continued to bring warmth to her. It was a luxury she would never take for granted again. She spied Caleb sitting on the porch. Reluctant to leave the heat, she put on her boots and coat and went outside. He darted up when he saw her. “Did you sleep? How are you feeling? Are you hungry?”

  Yawning, she rubbed her neck and stretched her back. “Yes, I did sleep. It was lovely. And I’m starving.”

  ~

  He had put together sliced apples, cold meat from last night’s roast, and more bread and cheese.

  “This is the most delicious food I’ve ever tasted.” He watched her eat, and her moans both touched him and grieved him. She drank more cider and again examined her glass.

  He saw her drag her finger over the topography of the hand-painted flowers. “Where did you get this?” Her tone lacked judgement.

  Caleb stopped eating. The glasses were a gift from Jane, and he cursed himself for overlooking such a detail. “From a friend of Sally’s.” By the look on her face, his answer was inadequate.

  He pushed his chair away from the table and brought his napkin to his lips. He paused and gathered his thoughts. “Mrs. Jane Cabot is staying with Ben and Sally. She thought I needed some refinement, I suppose.”

  Her face was unreadable. “Jane Cabot? I didn’t think that type of woman interested you.” She gave him no time to respond. “When I return these pretty glasses to her, I’ll be sure to thank her for taking care of my husband while I was away.”

  Taken aback, he felt his defenses mounting. “It was nothing. She didn’t take care of me. I mean, not in the way you’re thinking. You won’t have to return them. I’ll just give them to Sally. There’s no harm in receiving a gift.”

  A raise of her shoulder had him feeling helpless. She didn’t believe him. “It’s fine, Caleb. We’ve been through a lot. I needed comfort, too.”

  Now the tide shifted dramatically. “I don’t want to know, Jess.”

  She sighed. “Can we go back, Caleb? To the time before I went down to the river?”

  Reaching for her hand, his insides quaked. All he wanted was her—to be with her, to be in her. Nothing else mattered. She smiled, and it released all his guilt and jealousy. For now, he had his life back.

  ~

  After a few shy moments as they reacquainted themselves with each other, it seemed as if she had never been apart from him. His body felt miraculous to her. She was finally touching him and loving him, and he was loving her back. His desire for her remained as strong as ever, and he released every bit of it as he brought them both to the most intimate moment they had ever experienced together. Catching her breath, she turned and formed herself into his body. They talked softly with one another about the land, the dog, the weather, and his silversmithing, along with her family and her desire to see them. Neither of them brought up her kidnapping or her rescue, even if the room seemed full of anticipation, waiting for a story, waiting for answers.

  Jessica rolled over on her back and gave the most satisfied sigh she had ever released from her being. Caleb brought the heavy quilt over them. He gently placed his hand on her belly, slowly moving it over its taut surface. “We’ll have to fatten you up.” He continued to caress it, and now she took his hand and put it higher as he went for her full breast. He reached down and tasted its sweetness, then he kissed her stomach and went even lower under the covers. Jessica moved nervously, bringing him upward, and he returned to her breast and then to her lips and neck.

  She snuggled into him under the warm blankets. He felt strong—perhaps strong enough to weather what she needed to tell him, but not now. He whispered, “I love you.” She returned the sentiment as a few tears escaped, running down her face, wetting their flesh.

  Chapter Fifty

  The next morning, Caleb and Jessica sat in the kitchen as they had each morning before her kidnapping. He drank his coffee, she sipped her tea. The familiar brew of dark leaves never tasted so good.

  “I have to see Ben this morning. I’ll bring them the good news. They’ll want to see you,” Caleb said.

  Jessica leaned back in her chair, her hands wrapped around the warm cup. “I’ll be happy to see them, too.” She paused and looked at her husband. “Don’t forget to take the glasses with you.”

  Caleb put down his cup. “Jessica, I formed no attachments while you were away. I feel I can never satisfy you with words, so let my actions speak for me. I will go and tell them the good news. My wife is back, and my life is happy again.” He laughed and came to her, leaning down to kiss her mouth. She received his kiss gladly, praying that he would still be as happy after she told him of her condition.

  “Tell the Loggins they may come by in a few days.”

  ~

  Jessica rolled her head to relieve the heaviness that sat on her shoulders, the soreness reminding her of her travels. Standing in the middle of the parlor, she felt like a stranger in her own home. With her hands on her hips, she surveyed the room. Boones watched her every move. Her art room called to her. She was afraid to look inside. What was it now? A room touched by Jane Ca
bot? She would get the whole story from Sally. Perhaps it was just more work space for Caleb, or simply empty, cleared of all signs that she was ever an artist there.

  Cautiously, she opened the door. To her surprise, it had remained untouched. He hadn’t removed a single thing. The smell of paint and paper filled her nose. She let her eyes fall on one thing, then the next. So familiar was it to her, as if it all had waited so patiently. This room held the passion that hadn’t left her. It couldn’t be stolen or kidnapped, nor ransomed at any price.

  Placing her hand on her chest, she took a breath and let it out. The half-finished painting of a landscape laid on her lap easel. The art supplies she had taken down to the river on that dreadful day sat on a shelf, along with the paper and wooden carrier. He had retrieved them and placed them here. Her guts churned. The paint-stained rags. Brushes neatly organized, art books, the rug on the floor, the stool she sat on. She closed her eyes and let the sharp pain of sadness run through her. “Oh, Caleb.”

  Slowly, she lifted the drawing she had done that fateful day, and without much contemplation, she ripped it into small pieces. She turned to her easel. The oil painting of the land she lived on was near completion. She examined her strokes, the mood of color. This one would hang in their home.

  Her mind went back to Blue Heron on the river and the light that exposed his body. The dense forest, the open plains, Medford, the cave. The memories flooded her mind with color, shapes, and mostly, the deep need to paint. She looked at her supplies. She’d have enough to start on one of the blank canvases she had prepared before that day. Her heart beat strong, and she wanted to claim her life again. She closed her eyes and rubbed her chest while humming a quiet tune she learned from the Native People. Her body relaxed and she continued to study the room.

  A finished painting neatly wrapped in brown paper and tied with string sat on the floor in the corner. She had intended to give it to Mr. Talbot to bring to the Gate’s Gallery in Oakland. She gave a short laugh and picked it up, then gingerly tore the wrapping off, exposing a painting of Nob Hill in San Francisco, with a scene of Chinatown mixed into the background. It was good, in her opinion, and she remembered being pleased at the time she created it. She looked at the signature—J. Lingerhoph. Her hand touched the raised strokes, and she examined the light source as she had done so many times while painting it.

  It was a beautiful day in the big city, and she had traveled there with Caleb to shop for his smithing supplies. While he went about his business, she painted. Passersby made pleasant comments on her progress as they briefly stopped to look at her easel. The hotel they stayed at was elegant, and she felt swept off her feet. Caleb had little use for hotels, yet he had chosen a comfortable room for them on Nob Hill. A smile crossed her face, followed by the swell of love and guilt rising deep inside her. Would life ever be that simple again?

  Eyeing the signature, she squinted and her lips curled. Why should he get all the credit?

  She decided then and there to kill off J. Lingerhoph. The pen name no longer suited her. This made her laugh, and she felt the release of so much pent-up emotion. She could laugh again. She could be free to paint as she liked under her own name, Jessica Cantrell. Aloud, she made her vow. “I’ll paint the vivid colors of life’s experience, my experience!”

  She took inventory of her paints, and as she touched each square of color, each brush, each tube of oils, she did so with a rebirth filled with purpose and joy for all she had painted and all she would paint. She turned to another shelf where a small box sat alone. It was the only item not in its original place. Her mind must be mistaken. She took it down, and the lid came off too easily. Jacob’s beads, his letters, her drawing of them by Mary’s Pond in Hartford. Why hadn’t she burned them all?

  She knew the answer, and a sadness rose in her. Touching her belly, she returned the box to the shelf, then the world spun. Closing her eyes, she put a hand to her hot cheek. Her mouth was filled with saliva. She was going to be sick. She ran outside and vomited, a reminder of what she had brought home. It was too soon … too soon to rediscover her life. Her impatience to make everything right again, to paint the world she had seen and lived through, to put Jacob in his place, and mostly, to bring Caleb fully back to her was overwhelming. She returned to the parlor and sat on her paisley chair. She would need her strength to face her family and Jacob, and most of all, the verdict Caleb would hand to her after she told him she was carrying Jacob’s child.

  ~

  His wife was back, his life whole again. Somehow it felt unreal to Caleb. She rested in their home as he walked over to Ben and Sally’s. Wanting to rush back and protect her, he picked up his pace. The two flower-painted glasses clinked together in the sack, and he became aware he might break them. In fact, his instincts told him to chuck them in the woods. He dropped the sack by the side of the trail and pushed it into the brush. He’d take care of that later. Facing Jane made him nervous. He knew he had no reason for it, yet they had developed a friendship and he had to admit he had grown fond of her. Today, his love for his wife filled him like nothing else could or ever would.

  Ben and Sally welcomed him with hugs and congratulations, their relief showing. Questions about her health, the circumstances of her disappearance, and when they would be able to see her assaulted him. He raised his hands. “All in good time,” he said with a chuckle. In minutes, they were sharing a glass of wine and toasting to her safe return. Jane came down the stairs and joined them.

  “I’m very happy for you, Caleb,” she said. “It’s always such a blessing when our prayers get answered.” To Caleb, her voice lacked happiness, and he wondered in her world of prayer if this was truly the outcome she sought. He felt uncomfortable in his own skin.

  “Jane is leaving us tomorrow,” Sally offered. “We will miss her so very much.”

  Jane took a glass of wine from Ben. After taking a sip, she smiled at Sally but said nothing.

  The awkwardness was palatable, and Caleb was ready to return to his wife. After assuring the Loggins they would see Jessica soon, he left the house. Entering the trail, he heard soft footsteps behind him. He turned around. It was Jane.

  “I can’t leave without saying a proper good-bye. In private.”

  Caleb nodded. She came to him and took his arm. “May we walk together for just a minute? One last visit?”

  “Jane, I have to get back to Jessica. She’s fine, but not completely well.”

  They walked in silence. He stopped halfway down the trail. “Thank you for your friendship, Jane.”

  She tipped her head to the side. “It could have been much more, but circumstances have changed. I will remember you with great fondness and wonder what could have been.”

  He snickered. “What would you have done with this man you have so little in common with? I have a past, I don’t attend church, I drink, and I have been known to gamble. Not quite the ideal gentleman for a lady such as yourself.”

  “And yet, we are friends. My life is more than church going and properness. I’m afraid you’ll never see the real me.”

  He looked down at the beautiful woman eyeing him with a coy expression. Clearing his throat, he brought her back to Earth. “I hope you have a good life and find what you need and want. I …”

  “If you’re ever in need of a shoulder to lean on or an ear to listen, please think of me. Here is my address. I’d hate for us to never. …”

  The puff of air escaping his lungs was visible in the cold air. “I’m sorry.”

  She held her head up high. “No need for apologies. Will you take my address?”

  Reluctantly, Caleb accepted the cream-colored, folded piece of paper. A hint of her perfume hit his nose as he unbuttoned his coat and placed it into his shirt pocket.

  “Don’t expect anything,” he said.

  “Just knowing you have it makes me feel as if we are still friends.” She reached up and kissed his cheek, then turned and walked away.

  Watching her disappear around t
he bend, her skirts rustling against the brush, gave him pause. A second of grief hit him. Then he heard the faint sound of glass muffled in a burlap sack. He closed his eyes, then opened them. Shaking his head, he headed home. Again, the freedom of the trails spoke to him. He vanquished the thought, yet what had Jessica gone through, and how would it affect him, his marriage, and everyone around them? Holding no illusions of the real world, he knew it wasn’t going to be a smooth adjustment. His reaction to parting with Jane proved that.

  Chapter Fifty-one

  It was time to reunite with her family. Jessica looked through her clothes as if they were old friends. For a moment, she indulged in her choices. Yet, the array of dresses, blouses, skirts, and shoes, along with the many accessories she had acquired, began to repel her. The frivolity of it all was obscene. She chose a simple blouse and skirt ensemble. Her dark-maroon waistcoat with the high fur collar and her leather gloves and wool hat would stave off the cool day. With a heavy blanket in the open carriage, she looked forward to the luxury of riding in a proper transport, even if theirs was a second hand one.

  Filled with nervous anticipation, she tried to steady her nerves. Waves of nausea swept over her. She was sure the whole clan would be there. She fiddled with her hair in front of the mirror and caught her husband’s grave expression as he entered the bedroom. The last pin entered her upswept bun. “Almost ready,” she said.

  “I have something to tell you, sweetheart.”

  Her heart skipped a beat. He called her sweetheart—that was a good sign. Jane Cabot was on her way back to San Francisco. What now?

  Caleb took one of her hands in his own. “There’s no easy way to tell you this. Your father passed away some months ago.”

  Sharply withdrawing her hand, she looked at him in disbelief. “No, that can’t be. No! Oh God, he left without knowing I was safe.” She placed her hand to her stomach. She felt as if a furnace had been ignited in her belly. She held on to Caleb for support. He led her to the bed.