“What time is your course starting tomorrow?” I asked. She looked up at me, frozen for just a second. It was tiny, but it was something. Finally an irregularity.
“I think at eight in the morning, but I’ll have to check up on that, dear,” she said. “I’ll check my e-mail in a minute.”
“Why don’t you just phone Scoot?” I prompted. She shook her head.
“He forwarded an e-mail with the details. He wouldn’t know.”
So e-mail was definitely how she communicated with him. No wonder I hadn’t found anything on her phone. And I hadn’t been able to guess that password.
“Where is it?” I asked.
“In Atlanta. I’ll leave an hour before it starts so I’ll definitely be on time.”
“Do you have an address for me?” I asked. She paused again. I didn’t know why these small little hints were so satisfying. I’d started thinking I was going crazy.
“I’ll have to look that up too,” she said.
Missing a time I could understand, but a place? It was unlike her.
“Well, let me know,” I said.
“Have you decided what you’re going to do?” she asked, changing the subject. I shrugged.
“I was thinking I’ll head out early for a round of golf with the boys,” I said. She nodded.
“Good, you haven’t been taking enough time for yourself.”
Unlike you, I thought again. I surprised myself at how bitter I was. I was also surprised at how I managed to bite back.
“What time are you heading out?” she asked.
“Around six,” I answered. She nodded and took another bite.
“Good,” she said.
Oh, I bet.
When the sun came up I was out of bed and in the shower before Abigail woke up. It was our normal routine, but today I didn’t want to face her until I was ready. In pajamas I felt vulnerable somehow.
I was lathering my face with shaving foam, the towel around my hips, when Abigail walked into the bathroom. I glanced at her. Her eyes rested on my body.
What did she see in me? I realized with a pang I didn’t even know anymore.
“I’m leaving soon,” I said to her.
“Do you want me to make you some breakfast?” she asked.
“Yes, that would nice. Thank you.”
Almost like a last meal. I sighed.
Abigail disappeared, and a few minutes later the smells of egg and bacon traveled wafted down the passages and into the bedroom. I got dressed and walked to the kitchen. When I sat down at the breakfast nook she put a plate with toast on the table, a cup of coffee in front of me, and a plate with the eggs and bacon I’d smelled earlier.
“This looks great, honey,” I said. “Aren’t you eating?”
She shook her head. “I’m not really hungry. I’ll grab something on the way.”
I nodded slowly. Abigail sat down opposite me and drank her own coffee. The silence between us stretched and grew until we were both covered with it like a blanket. I glanced at my wristwatch.
“I have to get going,” I said. “The green’s calling.”
“Have a great time, sweetheart,” she said and stood up too, kissing me on the lips. She lingered for a moment, and my head spun. I turned and walked away from her.
“I love you,” she called after me.
“I love you too,” I said. I hadn’t wanted to reply, but no matter what she was doing to me, it was still true. I didn’t know if it would ever stop being true, even if there wasn’t an ‘us’ anymore. As I walked through the house I looked at the life we’d built together, and I wondered how we would divide up the assets. If I would be able to let half of everything we bought together go and still have all of me intact once it’s done.
I drove away from the house, but I didn’t head for the golf course. I was just as good a liar as Abigail, it seemed. Instead I headed out of town, to the spot where I usually went to change. I got rid of my clothes and shrugged into the fur coat I’d brought along. The fur was comfortable against my skin. Being a lycanthrope was a curse in its own right and there had been many nights that I’d hated myself for who I was, for the imperfection that set me apart from Abigail.
That made me less than worthy.
I hated it now even more, but as I settled into the fur, and the gradually into the wolf, I couldn’t help but notice how much more comfortable I was in this form. I was, after all, an animal. To reject something that’s just another side of yourself is just another angle at self-rejection.
I shook myself out like a dog and sniffed the air. The water was in the air again, as always, and as always it drew me. But today I fought the urge and turned away from it, heading back into the long grass that covered the fields. I was taking a big risk going back to the city this way, but I had to know.
I managed to sneak my way through the streets, making myself as small as I could. With a bit of luck I would pass as a stray dog. A very large stray dog with terrible teeth and a glossy coat, but I was sure I could pass it off as long as I didn’t draw attention to myself.
When I finally made it home I waited outside for only ten minutes before Abigail came out.
I studied her. Her blond hair was neatly straightened and she wore make-up the way she did when she went in to the office. She wore a pencil skirt and a blouse I didn’t recognize. Something she’d bought without me? It was a deep green and she’d left it unbuttoned low enough for me to see the swells of her breasts. I smelled the air and detected the perfume I’d bought her for Christmas a year ago.
That made me angry. It was like something had suddenly snapped. Until now I’d been calm, trying to find clues and biding my time, but it was like a dam broke and suddenly all the emotions crashed down on me like waves. I trembled, waiting for her to get in the car and back out the drive way. My muscles ached to jump to action, fury coursing thick through my veins. But there was nothing to attack. Not yet.
I ran after the car when she drove down the road, sticking to the houses. When she took the turn that led out of town I ran on the side of the road, careful to keep enough distance between me and the car so she wouldn’t spot me. I didn’t think she remembered what my wolf looked like – it had been too long – but I didn’t want to take the chance.
There were places where I lost her and I was scared I wouldn’t be able to find her again, but somehow I managed to catch up to her every time. She drove straight to Atlanta, like she’d said.
In the city she drove slower because of traffic lights, but it was harder to stay on her tail because I risked being noticed. Still, I managed to follow her into a large parking lot filled with a million cars. This was the last thing I’d expected, and I had to duck behind a shabby storage building on the other side of the parking lot so all the people there wouldn’t see me. How would I know, between all these people, which one was the guy she was seeing?
She found a space, and parked.
Chapter 4
The parking at Eroticon was packed. I was nervous about a million things – they wouldn’t see me as a legit writer, I wouldn’t get parking, I would stick out like a sore thumb with my pencil skirt and boring hairstyle… there were so many things I could point out.
But when I pulled into the parking lot after standing in line to get in, I realized I hadn’t had anything to worry about. There were people from every walk of life. Men in business suits and blazers with stacks of business cards. Housewives in jeans and sneakers with windbreakers. People that looked like they were too young to be legal for something like this. When I got out of my car and started walking in towards the building with the group of people around me, I was sure you couldn’t pick me out from the crowd.
I got the feeling someone was watching me. Eyes burned into my back and I stopped and looked over my shoulder. There were one or two people behind me, but they weren’t the ones staring. They looked at me when I looked back for the first time, I was sure.
I scanned the area but I saw nothing out of place. So
I turned and kept walking.
There were a million different faces around me as we squeezed into one long, overpopulated queue at the entrance. I fiddled in my bag and got my ticket ready. The men at the door all looked friendly and welcoming, smiling and talking to everyone.
Everything seemed so… normal.
When there were only three people in front of me a face caught my eye. Dark hair and eyes, a well-structured face and a large body. The dark eyes were on me and shock traveled through my body the way it used to when someone really caught my attention. Then the pieces fell into place and I realized it was Kian, staring right at me. My body went cold and my stomach turned to lead. I couldn’t breathe, my chest felt tight and I felt lightheaded. I hadn’t recognized him because I hadn’t expected him.
“What are you doing here?” I asked, stepping out of the line so the others could pass. Kian’s face had a reddish tint to it, like he’d been in the sun for a while, and he had a white line around his mouth. He was angry.
“I could ask you the same question,” he said in a cold voice.
“Honey, I—“
“Don’t you honey me, Abigail,” he snapped and I cringed. This was what I’d been afraid of. “Where is he?”
I scrunched up my face. This was the last thing I’d expected him to ask.
“He?” I asked.
“I was going to wait, you know. Until you couldn’t do anything but admit to what you were doing. But there are so many people here I don’t even know where I’m going to start.”
“Baby, I’m sorry,” I said. “I wanted to tell you but I was scared—“
“You wanted to tell me? And how did you think that would go down?”
“Well, something like this, actually. Which is why I didn’t do it.”
“Well that’s noble of you,” he said and his words were dripping with sarcasm. “Easier to avoid the whole thing altogether then. How long has this been going on?”
“Almost a year,” I admitted. How could I keep lying to him now?
His face turned different shades of red and purple and he looked like he was going to explode.
“I can’t believe I only found out about it now!” he yelled and people in the line started staring at us. Well, now I was sticking out. Now they would notice me. I was the only woman here who was being reprimanded for writing erotica in secret. Everyone else was obviously very open about it.
“Why did you come here, of all places?” he asked. “Aren’t there better places around here to do it?”
Now he lost me. I felt like we’d been having a conversation around a topic and he wasn’t on the same tangent I was. “What are you talking about? Where else would I go?”
“A motel or something?” he asked. “I don’t know.” He looked like he’d lost all his drive. He rubbed his face with both hands and sighed. I noticed his hands were shaking.
“Kian, what is it you thought I was doing here?” I asked.
“Seeing someone,” he said. “An affair. I thought…” he swallowed when his voice caught in his throat. “I thought I was enough for you. I know I’m not perfect but that—“
“Kian, baby, stop,” I interrupted him. The poor man. “I’m not having an affair. This is Eroticon, a conference for erotica authors.”
He looked like something had blindsided him.
“For what?” he asked.
“Erotica authors, honey. I write erotica. That’s why I’m here. That’s what I’ve been hiding from you.”
He stared at me for a moment. I could see the cogs turning, the pieces slowly falling into place as he replaced his assumptions with facts.
“So… you’re not here to meet someone?” he asked. I shook my head.
“I don’t know anyone here. I just wanted to stay on top of things.”
“You don’t love someone else?”
“Only you, sweetheart,” I said and smiled, stepping into him and wrapping my arms around his waist. Only now did I realized he was wearing his fur coat and nothing else. “Were you following me as a wolf?”
He nodded slowly. “I wanted to catch you out,” he said. His arms closed around my body and I was enveloped in the warmth that defined him.
“That’s very dramatic of you, darling,” I said and tipped my head up. He looked like he felt stupid. I looked over my shoulder. The queue was tapering down. I had to head on in if I didn’t want to miss the events.
“I have to get inside,” I said. “I’ll be back tonight around six, then we can talk.”
Kian sighed and released me, stepping back.
“Okay,” he said and I turned to walk inside.
When I got home the sun was low on the horizon, casting long shadows along the street. I dreaded going home. I didn’t want to have this conversation with Kian. I didn’t want to talk about my terrible pastime and how I would probably have to give it up. When I opened the door, Kian was standing just inside, waiting for me.
“Oh, hey honey. I didn’t expect you—“
He cut me off. He kissed me full on the mouth, hard. His hands were all over my body, tracing it, touching my body in places he hadn’t outside of the bedroom since our honeymoon.
I gasped. “Kian,” I started, but he didn’t let me continue. He turned me and pushed me up against the wall, leaning his body against mine. I could feel him, hard and hungry. My body responded to his immediately, and I melted into him, my body fitting against his like a mold.
He cupped my cheeks with his hands and kissed me tenderly before he looked into my eyes.
“Let’s go to the bedroom,” he said. He didn’t wait for me to answer. He took my hand and led me to the room, where he turned around and kissed me again, unbuttoning my blouse. His hands found their way under the material, tracing the lace trim on my bra, and then pushing under that too. I moaned softly in his mouth.
When his hands slipped around to my back, and then lower, he pulled me against him, and my body arched. I craved him suddenly, the way you craved water after a never ending walk in the desert. It had been years since we had this kind of connection. Since I’d allowed myself to feel any of this.
Slowly my body woke up and remembered.
I fiddled with his buttons, then his buckle. He had found the zip at the back of my skirt and dropped it to the ground, and he was working down my pantyhose now. I had my mouth in his neck, kissing all over, sucking his earlobe, when me spun me around and laid me down on the bed. He crawled on top of me.
“You don’t mind?” I asked, pressing lightly on his chest so he would stop for a moment.
He shook his head. “I don’t mind at all. It’s hot,” he said and carried on kissing me.
“I’ve been so scared,” I said, breaking the kiss again. “I was thought you might think I was dirty.”
“The only thing that would be dirty was if you really had someone else, babe,” he said. “And you don’t.”
I smiled and he spread my legs with his hands. My body ached for his and he complied, pushing the length of him deep into me so that I gasped. He leaned his body over mine and moved inside of me, pushing and pulling, moving in and out, building up a rhythm. I gasped and moaned. It hadn’t felt like this with him in so long.
He rocked against me, my body moving with his. My skin became slick with sweat, mine or his I didn’t know, and he brought on the start of an orgasm that made my body feel like Jell-O. When it hit I cried out and heat rushed through my body from my hips, drowning me in ecstasy before it faded again. When I opened my eyes Kian smiled at me.
He kept going, even though the velvet walls of my core clamped down on him now. A few moments later he reached orgasm too, exploding inside of me. I shivered, feeling him pumping into me. He was amazing. I wanted to be his. I wanted him to claim me again, and again, and again.
When he slipped out of me he rolled to the side and draped his arm over my chest. I turned my head and looked at him.
“I’ve missed you,” I said.
“Never again, baby,” he
answered and I knew what he meant. We couldn’t let things slide the way they had. Even if I didn’t have – didn’t want – someone else, we couldn’t get back into the rut where we lived past each other. Being with him like this now made me feel alive. It made me feel connected to him the way we’d been when we’d met. This was the way I’d felt, why I’d wanted to get married to him. Because he was my other half, and he completed me. I’d gotten too used to getting along with my other leg, my other arm, my other eye. Being with him like this again now was like I could finally move again. Breathe again.
He leaned up on his elbow.
“So, you write stories about people having sex,” he said. Putting it that way sounded harsh, and I hesitated before I nodded. But it was true. That was exactly what I did. It wasn’t like I’d had a traumatic childhood, and something twisted gave me a dirty mind and the uncanny ability to describe intimacy in details. There was nothing in me that justified the kink I had. I just was.
I was scared this altered Kian’s opinion of me. But he smiled, a glint in his eye.
“Why don’t you show me some of the things you make your characters do?” he said, and then grinned like a teenager that had just come across a stash of porn magazines under his friend’s bed.
I smiled, getting on top of him, and showed him.
To be continue…
Destined Mates
By
Michael Reyes
Chapter 1
“Kathleen, we’ve got company on our northern border.”
Kathleen blew a stray strand of long, blonde hair out of her face, allowing her piercing blue eyes to seek out and fix on her Beta.
“Who is it this time? Another stray wolf?” the she-wolf asked, shutting the hood of her blue car. Her father had once attempted to teach her how to fix cars when she was a teenager, but the knowledge never stuck. And as a result, she had been fruitlessly trying to get her engine to start all morning. It was looking like she would finally have to give in and get it towed into town.
She Wolf and The Detective: (Suspense, Crime, Thriller, Mystery, Fantasy) (Book 1-3) Page 20