Because He's Perfect

by Anna Edwards

  I shrug. “I wasn’t sure what would happen.” The truth is I didn’t want to get my hopes up. “Is your mom watching Elizabeth?”

  She relaxes back against the chair. “Yes, she is. She watches her while I’m at work also. Thank you for pushing this date later. It gave me time to put Elizabeth to bed.”

  “It’s no big deal. Changing it from seven to eight wasn’t that much of an issue,” I tell her honestly. It doesn’t bother me. I got the date; the time is inconsequential.

  “It is a big deal for me. I’ve put Elizabeth to bed every night since she was born. It started off with me reading to her and now she reads to me. I’ve never missed a night putting her to bed.” She’s smiling brightly.

  “What about her dad, has he not put her to bed?” I want to know about her ex. She mentioned before that he’d had some anger issues, but besides telling me that, she’s not said anything else about him.

  Her eyes darken. “He’s a useless sonofabitch. Always has been.”

  “You said he had anger issues?” I’m digging, but I want to know everything there is to know about her.

  She sighs. “Yeah, he did. Thankfully it wasn’t toward Elizabeth or me. But he liked getting drunk and starting fights. I never did find out why he was so angry all the time, and in the end, I didn’t have the energy to find out. My sole focus was on Elizabeth and her wellbeing, so I threw him out. It was the best decision I ever made. A few months later, he was drinking and got into a fight. He hurt someone really badly and they ended up dying.”

  “Shit, he’s in prison?” She nods. “Does Elizabeth ask about him?” It’s something I don’t understand—how parents put alcohol and drugs before their kids.

  “She used to. She stopped a while ago. I’ve been honest with her. She knows her dad won’t be coming back. As she gets older and understands more, I’ll tell her why her dad won’t be coming home and that he’s in prison.”

  The car comes to a stop and Heidi’s eyes widen when she sees what restaurant we’re parked outside. “Tyler, you can’t be serious. This is Benito’s.”

  I smirk. “Yes, I know it’s Benito’s.” Andrew is a partner in this business, so I get a discount whenever I come here, though I’ve only been here a couple of times.

  “I’ve always wanted to come here. The waiting list is out of this world.”

  I smile. She’s impressed. “Hungry?”

  “Yes, starved.” Her eyes rake over me, a bright smile on her face. She looks so happy right now.

  “Come on, let’s get you fed.” I start to get out of the car, holding onto the door as I do so, making sure I get my balance. The last thing I need is to land on my ass.

  She links her arm through mine as we walk toward the restaurant. She doesn’t even falter in matching her pace to mine. The entire time we’re walking, the smile she has never fades.

  The restaurant is busy, only a few tables free. “Mr Richards, welcome,” the hostess says. “Let me show you to your table.” She walks ahead of us at a pace I know I won’t be able to keep up with.

  “Don’t,” Heidi tells me, her grip on my arm tightening. “Don’t quicken your pace to keep up. This restaurant is beautiful,” she whispers, looking around.

  “I guess I never really thought about it.” It’s not changed much since it opened almost three years ago. It’s rustic, a lot of wood and deep reds. It’s perfect for a romantic date. The hostess leads us to our seats and asks us for our drink order. As I’m taking medication at the moment, I opt out of an alcoholic drink and take a still water instead.

  Heidi orders a white wine. “Do you mind me having a drink? I can have a water instead.”

  “God no. I’m taking medication that shouldn’t be mixed with alcohol. I have no problem with anyone having a drink in my presence.”

  Her hand reaches across the table and she gently caresses my fingers. “Why are you tense?”

  “Am I?” I hadn’t even realized. “This is what I’m always like.”

  “Ty.” Hearing my name on her lips feels good. “Are you always this tense around other people?”

  I shrug. I’ve never really thought about it. Hell, I didn’t even realize I do it.

  “Why?” she asks, looking worried.

  She doesn’t get it. “How many people are staring?” I ask. I can feel their gazes on us; it’s always the same way. She glances around the room. She smiles at a couple of people before her eyes narrow on someone.

  “Heidi, don’t,” I tell her. There’s no point in getting mad about people staring at us. It’s always going to happen.

  “Don’t? They’re grown ass men staring at us like we’re lepers.” She’s spitting mad.

  “Heidi, this is what I get every time I leave the house. You can’t let it get to you.” Ironic; these words are coming out of my mouth and yet I don’t practice what I’m preaching.

  She shakes her head. “It’s rude.”

  I shrug. “It’s life.”

  A smile tugs at her lips. “You are definitely different to how you were the first day I saw you.”

  “Oh yeah? And is it a good different?”

  “Mm, hmm,” she says. “A good different. Ty, you don’t look as though you’ve got the weight of the world on your shoulders, nor do you look as though you’re angry. You’ve softened.”

  I scoff. “Softened?”

  Her smile widens. “Yes, you’re not as rough around the edges.” The waitress brings our drinks to the table. “You know, you’ve not asked me how old I am.”

  I wink at her. “My mom raised me right.”

  Laughter bubbles out of her. “That she did. I’m twenty-six, and I know you’re twenty-one, but I wasn’t sure if my age bothered you.”

  “Hell no. You’re five years older than me. So what? You’re gorgeous, smart, and you keep me on my toes. Age is nothing but a number. Does it bother you?”

  She shakes her head, looking happier than she has all night. “No. I’ve been so worried that once you realized I was older, you’d bail.”

  “Heidi, it’s not important.” I can’t believe she’d think that. She has a child and I haven’t bailed.

  “Good. Now I can tell everyone I have a toy boy. I really like you, Ty. I know we’ve only known each other for a day, but there’s something about you I’m drawn to.”

  I raise my glass and make a toast. “Here’s to a date we’ll never forget, and hopefully a friendship that’ll last a lifetime.” I want to say more, but I don’t want to be presumptuous.

  “A man with words.” She raises her glass and we toast. “Hopefully to a relationship that will last.”

  She knows what she wants and goes for it. I like that, there’s no messing with her. I guess she can’t, not with Elizabeth. I guess time will tell how things work out.

  Chapter Six

  “Look, Tyler, you and Heidi are getting close. The next logical step for you both is a sexual relationship.”

  “Christ.” I don’t want to talk about this shit, let alone with my shrink.

  Dr Chandler sighs, something he seems to do a lot around me. “Tyler, you have to be honest with yourself about these things. Heidi has yet to see you without your clothes on, nor has she seen you without your prosthetic on.”

  “Tell me something, doc. What would you do in my situation?” I’m not ashamed to admit I’m fucking scared that Heidi will hightail it away from me when she sees me without my prosthetic. It’s been a week and I’m infatuated with this woman. She’s my every waking thought.

  He taps his pen against the file and stares at me. “Tyler, why do you do that? Why do you try and turn everything around?”

  Shit, why does he ask stupid questions?

  “Tyler, what is it you’re afraid of?”

  “That’s a loaded question, doc. There are a lot of things I’m afraid of. Like losing my family, or my other leg.”

  He glares at me. “You’re not fooling anyone. What is it you’re afraid Heidi will do?”

  “That she�
�ll leave.” There I’ve said it. I hope he’s happy now.

  He nods, his face showing no emotion. “If she does leave then she’s not the woman for you.”

  I clench my jaw. He’s not making anything better.

  “But, Tyler, from the conversations we’ve had about her, she’s helping your recovery. You’re open and honest with her about everything, so I see no reason why she’d run. In fact, she could be anticipating seeing it.” His voice is monotone and dreary as he speaks, and it annoys me.

  “Doc, seriously? Why would anyone want to see my stump?” Even I don’t want to fucking see it.

  “Tyler, Heidi hasn’t given you any indication that she thinks you’re hideous, so why would your leg make her change her mind? You’re hung up on all the things you used to be able to do, and it drags you into your angry mindset.”

  My breathing hardens at his words, and I just unleash. “Doc, I have a stump for a leg. Who the hell thinks that’s sexy? I can’t walk without a limp. I can’t walk very far, nor can I run. I can’t protect those I love. I lost who I was when I lost my leg. So of course I’m hung up on those things. Who wouldn’t be?”

  He frowns, looking bewildered. “Why can’t you protect them?”

  “Doc, what’s going to happen if someone breaks in while I’m asleep?”

  He shakes his head. “Tyler, you’re great with a gun. You told me that during our first session. Surely having a prosthetic doesn’t hinder your aim?”

  “No, it doesn’t,” I say through clenched teeth.

  “Tell me something, Tyler. How long does it take you to put your prosthetic on?”

  I shrug. “A couple of minutes.”

  “You could do it quicker if need be. Someone breaking into your house will make you move quicker. You’ll be able to protect those you love.” He gives me a pointed look, one that tells me he knows he’s right. “As for your limp. With time that will fade. I’ve seen it before. Keep walking and training and eventually it will.”

  “So I’ve heard.”

  “Patience is a virtue,” he says mockingly. “Time is what it takes to heal, Tyler, and you’re still healing. Not just your leg but your mind and soul. You no longer see someone who deserves happiness or love. Instead you see a disability, one that is holding you back from living your life to the fullest.”

  I feel like a failure. “Doc, every time I take one step forward, I take a hundred backward. Last week I was hellbent on getting better, on pushing myself, and now, I don’t even want to leave the house again.”

  “Mr Richards, honesty is what’s going to help you the most. You need to be honest with yourself. Pretending you’re fine isn’t going to help, it’s going to hinder your progress. As soon as you start feeling as though you’re going backward, call me. It’s what I’m here for—to help you in your recovery. There’s no shame in asking for help.”

  I have no idea what to say. He seems to know me better than I know myself. I hate asking for help. I’m twenty-one years old; I should be able to do things myself. But I don’t even know where to begin with this. It’s as though I’m stuck out in the ocean. I can see an island and I paddle toward it, and then suddenly, a wave comes from nowhere and pulls me further away from the shore.

  “You’ve told me you’re open and honest with Macy. Are you as honest with Heidi?”

  I look at him like he’s crazy. “No, doc, I’m not. I’ve known the woman a week.”

  He doesn’t hesitate in continuing with this line of inquiry. He’s like a dog with a bone. “Tyler, do you care about her?”

  “Yes, I wouldn’t be doing this if I didn’t. There’s no such thing as one-night stands for me.” I was never that guy anyway, and I wouldn’t be now either.

  “Then be honest. You’ll be amazed at how far it can get you.” He glances down at his watch. Getting to his feet, he says, “Ah, that’s all for today’s session. Think about what I’ve said and remember to look after your mind as well as your body. Sometimes one is forgotten about and suffers the most. Enjoy your date with Heidi.”

  Cryptic bullshit if I ever heard it. “Thanks, doc, see you next week.”

  Walking out of his office, I call Macy. She answers immediately. “Finished?”

  “Yeah, want a coffee?” She’s working from home today and Lannie’s at school.

  “I’d love one. I’ll be there in ten minutes,” she tells me, and I hear keys jingling. She must be leaving the house now.

  “See you then,” I tell her as I end the call and make my way over to the coffee shop across the street.

  “Damn, Ty! It’s been a while,” the man behind the counter says with a smile.

  It takes me a second to recognize who he is. “Jamie? Dude, it has been a while.” Jamie is another amputee. He lost his leg a couple of months before I did. We met at rehabilitation, and we were both angry assholes.

  “It really has. You’re looking a hell of a lot better than the last time I saw you.” He smirks. The man is six-foot-three and towers over my five-foot-eleven frame, making me feel like a dwarf.

  “Same could be said about you. You working here now?”

  He nods. “Yep, I’m actually going on break. What do you want? I’ll get it before I go.”

  “A cappuccino and a latte, please.” I hand him the money and walk over to the door, not wanting to get in anyone’s way, nor do I want to have idle conversation.

  Jamie walks over to me with my coffees a couple of minutes later. “I’m going for a smoke. How about we catch up away from eavesdroppers?” He gives a woman behind the counter a pointed stare as he hands me the coffees.

  “Sure,” I say, and follow him outside, noticing his limp isn’t as prominent as mine is. He lights up his cigarette and takes a long drag. “How have you been?”

  “I’m not going to lie, it’s taken a while to get to where I am. A lot of drinking and drugs. I’m ashamed of what I did to get through the anger. I met Callie.” He nods to the shop, to the woman who’s behind the counter. “It’s weird what a woman’s love can do to you.”

  “How do you move on?” It’s what I’ve not been able to grasp. How to move on fully with my life.

  He shakes his head. “I’ve no idea. I was a fucking mess. As soon as Callie came into my life, things changed. I was able to see a future. I didn’t see myself as an invalid anymore.”

  “I’m not sure that will ever come. I met a really amazing woman but fuck, man… How do you get over this paranoia?”

  The fucker actually laughs at me. “I still have days I think she’ll leave, but I’m with her and she loves me.”

  I guess I needed someone who’s been through what I have to tell it to me straight. “I’m glad you found someone.”

  “It’s good to see you, Ty! You know where I work, don’t be a stranger.” He reaches in his back pocket and pulls out his cell. “What’s your number?”

  I call it out to him, and he inputs it into his phone. “I’ve been where you are. I hit rock bottom. You need someone to talk to.” He peers across the street to Dr Chandler’s office. “Someone who knows what it’s like. Call me.”

  My cell vibrates in my back pocket. I know it’s Jamie calling me, so I ignore it. “Did you tell Callie the truth about what you were thinking?”

  He laughs again. “Ty, women have a sixth sense about when something’s wrong.” His smile drops. “I know opening up makes us feel weak, but it does help.”

  Macy’s car comes to a stop beside us, and she waves at us. “That’s my cue. Thanks, Jamie.” Talking to him has helped me realize a few things.

  “Anytime. You have my number. Use it,” he tells me, throwing the cigarette butt on the ground.

  “Will do.”

  He leans in closer to me. “I’ll give you a heads up; have sex with her on top. You’ll thank me for it later.”

  “Christ, man, that’s an image I never wanted to see.”

  He flips me off as I move toward the car, and he walks back into the coffee shop. Macy looks worri
ed as I hand her the coffee. “You okay, Macy?” I ask as I get into the car.

  “Andrew’s not coming. A meeting’s come up and he won’t be able to make it. He’s asked if we’d go over.” I can tell by her tone that she wants to go and she’s hoping I’ll go with her.

  “Bummer that he can’t come, but, Macy, why don’t you take Lannie? She’s on break next week.”

  Hope springs to her eyes. “What about you?”

  “Macy, I’m capable of looking after myself. Besides, I’ve got appointments I can’t miss. Go, you’ll have fun.”

  She’s tempted, but she’s worried about me. “I’ll think about it.”

  “Okay,” I reply, but I know damn well that once I tell my niece, she’ll want to go, and there’s no way Macy would ever say no to Lannie visiting Andrew, so she’ll go too.

  Chapter Seven

  Macy and Lannie flew to London yesterday evening. Lannie was so excited. She’d never been on a plane before and couldn’t wait to see Andrew. I’m bummed that I’m not able to go with them and see him, but I know I wouldn’t be able to sit on that long of a flight. Not yet anyway. Macy’s called twice already to make sure I’m okay. Her heart’s in the right place but damn, it makes me feel like I’m useless.

  The phone rings and I tense. No one ever rings except Macy. It’s ten o’clock in the evening here, which makes it three a.m. in London. Hands slide around my back, making me instantly relax.

  “Want me to answer it?” Her voice is husky, and I feel it all the way in my dick. I asked Heidi for dinner this evening and she showed up with an overnight bag.

  “Could you? It’ll be Macy, and if she knows you’re here, she’ll stop calling and making me feel like I’m twelve,” I practically growl. Having her this close to me and knowing she’s staying over has me on edge. I’m hanging on by a thread. It’s been a fucking long time since I’ve been intimate with a woman.

  She places a kiss on my cheek as she stands. I watch as she saunters toward my cell and picks it up. “Hey, Macy, how’s London?” She turns and my breath is taken from me like I’m winded. Her smile is phenomenal. This woman is drop dead gorgeous, and she’s here in my house. I’m one lucky sonofabitch.