Finding My Breaking Point

by C. C. Masters

  Global trade had screeched to a halt as each country hoarded resources for their own population. The US government had attempted to maintain their peace-keeping efforts and tried to assist other countries that had fallen to complete chaos, but US leaders had recalled all troops when the situation here had become dire. Parts of the country were now blocked off with barbed wire fences and the borders patrolled with tanks in an attempt for the government to retain a semblance of control over what they could. The rest of the country outside of those small pockets had adopted the lawlessness of the Wild West.

  Nothing would ever go back to the way it was before, but we all hoped that banishing the dark fae from our world would allow people to overcome their fear and hate. The Morrigan thrived on war and strife and there was no doubt that she was feeding into all of this and making it worse. The world had fallen victim to the hate and fear that the dark fae roused in every one of its denizens. Our only saving grace at the moment was that the fighting seemed to be contained within each country’s borders. If the world powers declared war on each other, we would be looking at a potential nuclear holocaust. It was essential that we shut the dark fae down before things went that far.

  I hefted my bag of gear over my shoulder and flicked the light switch off as I walked out of my room. At least we still had electricity and the world hadn’t completely regressed to the dark ages – yet. I met Trevor’s eyes as I walked into the living room where the rest of the team was waiting, and he gave me a solemn nod. The mission we were about to go on might give us the means to turn the tide in a more positive direction – but only if we could survive long enough to get what we needed.

  NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR

  This book is fiction, but PTSD is real for Veterans as well as other survivors of trauma and abuse. At times the darkness may seem overwhelming and situation hopeless. Reaching out might seem like an impossible task when you are the deepest in it, but please remember that you’re not alone. There are others who will stand by your side and battle the darkness and despair alongside of you.

  Everyone has dark moments in their life that we sometimes wish we could erase or forget. But sometimes it’s the pain and struggle that we have gone through that gave us our inner strength.

  For me, writing started as a way to confront some of the demons of my past so that I could put them behind me forever. Most of my characters have a dark or troubled past and my books follow their progress as they emerge from the darkness that has held them down for so long.

  As the darkness fades, hope for a better future starts to emerge (like the sun after a storm). A piece of my soul goes into each one of my books, and my hope and faith in a brighter tomorrow is reflected in each one of my characters.

  Books have always been a source of escape and enjoyment for me, so I hope that my work can help others in the same way

  -C.C. Masters

  Have you read the Hollowcrest Wolf Pack books yet? I put a sample in the back so you can check out the beginning of Lori’s story

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  C.C. Masters lives near Virginia Beach with her two furbabies, the inspirations for Tigger and Eeyore. She enjoys long walks on the beach and loves to run through the forest under the light of the full moon

  SeasideWolfPack.com

  Books by C.C. Masters

  Seaside Wolf Pack Series

  Book 1: Finding Somewhere to Belong

  Book 1.5: Finding Anna

  Book 2: Finding the Fire Within

  Book 3: Finding the Power Within

  Book 4: Finding Truth Beneath the Lies

  Book 5: Finding My Breaking Point

  Book 6: Finding Hope (Coming Soon)

  Hollow Crest Wolf Pack Trilogy

  Book 1: New Beginnings

  Book 2: The Struggle

  Book 3: A Place to Call Home (Coming Soon)

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  Sneak Peek of Hollow Crest Wolf Pack Book 1

  Chapter 1

  Lori

  I huddled deeper into my bed, pulling my threadbare blanket up over my head as if I could hide from the horror that awaited me. It was still dark outside, but I could feel dawn creeping slowly towards me, bringing my fate along with it. Once the sun came up, it was my eighteenth birthday. For all the humans at my school, it was one of the happiest days of their lives; a day to celebrate.

  For me, it was a day to dread.

  My pack master, Baracus, carefully followed the rules that the council had laid out for him to help us blend in with the humans. Forty years ago, my pack had received a lot of attention when the small town of humans next to our lands had decided we were some kind of religious cult. There were investigations conducted and extra scrutiny placed on our pack. Our kind couldn’t have that for obvious reasons. The council smoothed things over, but now we pretended to be human slightly better. Kids went to school, adults worked out in the community, and most of the humans just thought we were a close-knit little neighborhood up the hill. Only a few realized we weren’t quite normal.

  If only they knew the truth.

  So far, my life hadn’t been so bad. I went to school, I helped my mom with all of her pack responsibilities, and I was sent to my room anytime non-PG rated activities were going on. But that didn’t mean that I was oblivious to it; I knew what went on after dark. I also hadn’t been oblivious to all the smirks and shoulder bumps that had been going on between the males every time someone mentioned my upcoming birthday.

  Not all the males in my pack were terrible, but that didn’t mean that any of them would stand up for me. When I first hit puberty, my two cousins had tried to shield me from the leers of the males who thought they were entitled to mock a twelve-year-old girl’s developing curves. Baracus and his second in command, Robert, had beaten the crap out of them to teach them a lesson. Females were only in the pack as playthings or maids; we weren’t equal, and we definitely didn’t deserve respect. Ever since then, my two former playmates turned into my jailers.

  I knew exactly what was going to happen to me once I turned eighteen. That was why the closer my birthday got, the bigger the pit of dread in my stomach grew. I tried to act tough in front of everyone, smacking away hands that had attempted to touch me without my consent, and using my smart mouth to respond to their suggestive comments. But when I was alone, I couldn’t keep my shield up, and I had broken down more than once. I knew there was nothing that I could do and I hated that helpless feeling.

  I had thought about running. But where would I go? I didn’t have any money, I didn’t even have any identification. My pack master was very careful about keeping all the females in line. He liked to say that he made sure all of us were ‘well taken care of,’ but that meant that there were always males around to ‘help’ by handling the money at the store, driving us where we needed to go, and never letting any of us out of their sight. I was always watched, even while at school. My two cousins took care of that.

  I angrily flopped over onto my back and pulled the blanket down so I could stare out the window. There were so many times that I wished females were equal and this was definitely one of them. I wouldn’t be cowering in fear right now. I would be looking forward to turning eighteen and becoming a full member of the pack. Instead, I was terrified, frustrated, angry, and helpless at the thought of being passed around and used by them. Becky had turned eighteen last year and it took her months to stop crying every day.

  My ears perked when I heard one of the boards in the hallway squeak. A rush of terror flo
oded through me and my hands started to shake. Was this one of them now, trying to get an early start on the rest?

  I swallowed my fear down. I had two choices: I could lay here and be a submissive little wolf, letting them do whatever they wanted, or I could fight. Anger rose up inside of me, and I wanted to fight so badly. None of this was fair.

  The more I thought about it, the angrier I became. I wanted to make these wolves suffer for what they were about to do to me. Oh, I knew I would lose and probably be beaten pretty badly for my disobedience. But if they were going to use me like that, then I wanted to make them pay the price for it. I would heal eventually and they wouldn’t risk losing their new plaything by causing permanent damage.

  I took a deep breath and closed my eyes to try and find the spark inside of me that would allow me to shift. There was no time to get undressed, but sacrificing my PJs was the least of my concerns right now. My grandmother had been fully human, and my mother was a halfling. So, while I could shift, it was challenging and took all of my concentration. Plus, I couldn’t do it every time I tried, or as often as the full-blooded wolves.

  There had been more than one instance of me being stuck in one form or the other. It was a joke within the pack, but I was just grateful that I could shift at all. None of the other females left here had enough wolf blood in them to do it. The full-blooded females that had been here when I was born had all died within the last ten years. Childbirth was difficult for us, and not many females could survive being bred over and over again like our pack master had forced them to do.

  The handle to my door rattled and I was glad that I had locked it. That would slow the intruders down for a minute and give me time to prepare. My heart was beating so fast that I couldn’t concentrate on what I was trying to do. It skipped a beat when I heard a key in the lock; I hadn’t planned on that!

  The door creaked as it swung in and my eyes snapped open as my mother’s scent drifted towards me. “Mom?” I whispered in confusion.

  My mom crept towards me with wide eyes and placed a finger over her lips to tell me to be quiet. I watched her with confusion as she set a small backpack on the bed next to me. “Shift,” she whispered so quietly that I wouldn’t have been able to hear her without my extra wolf senses.

  I pushed away my blanket and pulled off my PJs, eyeing her curiously. She was dressed in hiking boots and warm clothing with a backpack that matched mine. Excitement started to replace my fear. This was it; my mom was going to get us out of here! I had prayed for this moment so many times in my life, but my mom had always insisted that we were better off here with the pack because we had food, protection, and a roof over our heads. Had my birthday changed her mind?

  I finally relaxed enough to shift and fought the urge to shake out my coat as my mom leaned forward to strap the backpack on me. She gave me a kiss between the ears once it was secure and took a second to cup my face to look in my eyes.

  “I love you.” She mouthed it without using her voice, but I understood her just fine. I nuzzled her neck and gave her a small lick to return the sentiment.

  She brushed a couple of tears out of her eyes and stood up, adjusting the pack on her back. I trotted towards the door and used all my senses to see if the coast was clear. My hearing, sense of smell, and night vision were all much better than hers, so she let me take the lead. I could hear the light snores of some of the females in their rooms but didn’t hear anything to indicate danger.

  I crept down the hallway, being careful to avoid stepping on the boards that creaked. This wasn’t the first time I had to sneak around the house after dark. We were lucky that there were only the mostly-human females in the house; some of the full-blooded males would have heard us trying to sneak out. This was the house where the females who were too old or too young to mate were kept. The males, and the females who took care of them lived in the nicer homes scattered throughout our neighborhood.

  My mom followed close behind me as I led her down the stairs and to the front door. I listened carefully at the door but I hesitated to open it just yet. I pinned my ears back and wagged my tail a little uncertainly at her.

  Was she sure about this? Once we stepped out of this house, there was no hiding our intentions. We were obviously about to run away from the pack. As much as I wanted to be confident that we could do this, our chances weren’t high. There were always wolves on guard around the perimeter of our little neighborhood. They were all much bigger, stronger, and faster than me, and my mom was essentially defenseless in her human form. If we didn’t get extremely lucky, we would be brought back here and punished. I probably wouldn’t be allowed to go to my senior year of high school starting in a couple months.

  My mom ran a hand over my coat reassuringly, and I wished that we could use the pack bond to talk to each other the way that the males did. What was the plan here?

  She opened the door quietly and motioned for me to go out on the front porch. After she had locked the door behind her, she motioned towards the back end of the woods. Our pack used the woods for pack runs and hunts. The forest stretched eight miles before running into a highway, but that wasn’t a lot of space for a pack of wolves. There used to be a lot more free land to run in around here, but too much new construction and development had gone up over the past ten years.

  I trotted ahead of her, keeping my eyes, ears, and nose open. She gave me a swat on the bottom to hurry up and I broke into a jog, holding it at a pace that I was sure she could keep up with. Her panting sounded outrageously loud as we made it through the clearing and into the forest. I was so nervous that someone was going to hear us.

  I thought I heard the crack of a branch and froze, listening carefully, but all I could hear was my mom’s loud breathing. I started forward a little slower this time, giving my mom a chance to catch her breath as I crept carefully through the brush.

  When no one jumped out to stop us I started to get a little more confident. Minutes turned into an hour and there was no sign of anyone around us. The forest was completely silent and carried only the scents of the plants and small animals around us.

  We were really doing this! I started to daydream a little about what our life could be like once I started to hear the sounds of the highway growing closer. My mom and I were obsessed with the show Gilmore Girls and we’d always talked about how wonderful having a life like that would be. Maybe we could get a little house for just the two of us in a picturesque town like Stars Hollow. My mom could run a coffee shop just like she always wanted to and I could go to college. I started to get more excited and picked up the pace as we grew closer to our life of freedom.

  I would blame myself for those daydreams for the rest of my life.

  If only I had stayed on task and been more careful, maybe I would have heard the group of wolves that was slowly surrounding us and closing off our escape. I didn’t realize we were trapped until the breeze carried the scent of one of my cousins towards us. I froze in panic for a second and tried to push my mom in the opposite direction, only to see the pack master step out from behind a group of trees.

  Six wolves in total surrounded us. I circled around my mom in a panic, unsure of what I should do. I needed to defend her, but who would attack first?

  Baracus shifted back into his human form. “I warned you, Jenny,” he growled at my mother. “You can’t stop this.”

  I growled at him as he stalked closer to my mom but yelped when my cousin sank his teeth painfully into my tail. I tried to spin around, but he had a strong grip on me, so I flung myself on my back to kick him in the face with my hind legs. He closed his eyes to protect them from my claws but didn’t let go. Instead, he roughly shook his head back and forth with my tail still firmly between his teeth. I whimpered in pain as Robert, our second in command, crashed into me and locked his jaws around my throat as he pinned me down. He was the largest and meanest wolf in the pack and had never lost a fight. My heart pounded in terror, and I tried to look around his massive body for my mom. I needed to
protect her!

  Our pack master had her by the arm, but she was glaring defiantly at him. “You think that you can defy me?” he roared.

  I struggled against Robert and tried my best to dislodge him from me, but he just sank his teeth in deeper. Blood trickled through my fur and his weight on top of me was making it difficult to breathe. I whimpered and went limp in submission, not because I was giving up, but because I wanted him to think that I was.

  Robert loosened his grip and waited for my reaction. I didn’t move to fight him, I stayed submissive, desperately hoping that this would work. I heard the smack of a fist against flesh, which also caught Robert’s attention. He tentatively backed off me, observing me carefully. I stayed limp and didn’t move until finally he looked away from me to watch our pack master discipline Mom.

  A tear leaked out of my eye when I saw her down on the ground, blood running from a cut on her lip. She met my eyes and there was a moment where I could almost feel her telling me not to give up. She took a deep breath and mouthed one word to me - “Run.”

  I glanced over at Robert to see if he noticed, but he and the other males looked like they were celebrating just how easy it had been to subdue two helpless females. Our pack master was standing there laughing at us.