Remembrance of the Past

by Lory Lilian

  ***

  Later that afternoon, Elizabeth and Jane departed Netherfield for Longbourn, accompanied by Mr. Darcy and Mr. Bingley on horseback, and Georgiana sharing the carriage with them.

  The colonel behaved strangely all day, only leaving his room for a long ride, and then avoided all company. As for Lady Cassandra, Darcy was as worried as he could be; she looked far worse than the previous evening and refused to provide any explanation. She insisted she was well, only not desirous of company. She also declared she would be her usual self for the ball and demanded he allow her to rest without further disturbance.

  Riding on Elizabeth’s side of the carriage, Darcy was far from light-hearted, although he was pleased to see Elizabeth so well recovered, at least physically. Earlier that day he had insisted on her not attending the ball if she felt poorly, but she had replied—with a mischievous, delicious smile—that she was well enough to dance more than one set with him. She looked well, no doubt, though from time to time, her face clouded in concern and her eyes lost the liveliness of their usual sparkle.

  At times, Elizabeth’s gaze rested on his face, and he hurried to meet her eyes and smile comfortingly. He was trying to deceive her—in fact, to keep the truth from her—he knew that and felt equally disturbed and guilty for the decision he had made. Nonetheless, there was no other option; she could not be forced to bear further distress—not for the world.

  The party reached Longbourn shortly and barely entered the house when Mrs. Bennet hurried toward them, crying so loudly that Darcy was certain she could be heard in Meryton.

  “Oh Lizzy, my child, you finally came home! Let me see how badly you have been injured.”

  “Mama, do not distress yourself. I am quite well; I am not injured at all!”

  “Oh my child, you must be, I am sure, but you are trying to keep everything from me as your father did. You two always find pleasure in vexing me! I had to be told by the servants how brave you have been! Oh, you saved Lady Cassandra from that horrible man, Lord something! Who cares if he is a viscount? Nobody really cares about him! Such a horrible man!”

  Her state became more and more agitated, and Elizabeth was pale with mortification.

  “Mama, please, I truly did nothing. Please let us forget about this—

  “Nothing? How can you say that? You saved poor Lady Cassandra! Oh, I knew you could not have been so wild in your childhood for nothing! You are so brave; you always liked to climb trees and run across fields!”

  “Mama!” cried Jane. But Mrs. Bennet took Elizabeth’s arm while directing everyone to the drawing room.

  “Oh, that poor, beautiful Lady Cassandra. Such a lovely, elegant lady! So pleasant and sophisticated—she always complimented my food and my dishes when she came to dinner. I like her very much—better than any other lady I have ever met! And everybody in town shares the same opinion! The poor dear—and that horrible man! My sister Philips and I are quite sure he attacked her to force her to marry him! As if she would ever have him! He is the most unworthy of men, I am sure of that, and not at all good looking! Hill’s niece works at Netherfield, and she declared that the man was quite ill favoured indeed! The nerve of him!”

  “Mrs. Bennet, your nerves will not last much longer if you remain so excited,” Mr. Bennet intervened, but his wife still had more to say.

  “Mr. Darcy, you should call him out and teach him a lesson; you are taller than that man, I was told, and have a much better constitution!” she continued to Elizabeth’s utter shock.

  “Mama! How can you say such a thing?” Elizabeth’s voice matched the scowl on her face as she looked from an imperturbable Darcy to a pale Georgiana.

  “What? Am I not right, Mr. Darcy?”

  “You are perfectly right, Mrs. Bennet.”

  “See? See Lizzy? Mr. Darcy agrees with me!”

  Elizabeth was heartily grateful to her father when he interrupted his wife quite unceremoniously and invited both gentlemen to the library to have a drink before dinner. She seized the opportunity, with a brief glance directed at Darcy, took Jane and Georgiana by their hands and hurried to their rooms to prepare for dinner.

  Downstairs, Mrs. Bennet’s nerves discovered another reason for even greater distress: Mr. Bingley and Mr. Darcy were to remain for dinner, and she was not properly prepared for such an event! Oh, and the Gardiners were expected to arrive any minute—and tomorrow was the ball! She would gladly faint and ask for her smelling salts if she did not have so many things to take care of! And nobody around to help her!

  “Hill! Mary! Kitty! Where are you all? Come here this instant!”

  ***

  Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner finally arrived at Longbourn, and the reunion was pleasant; the entire evening was generally a relaxing and enjoyable time for everyone.

  At some point after dinner, Hill discreetly fetched Elizabeth and directed her to the library, where her father was expecting her. She obeyed with no little surprise, but her surprise turned to shock when she saw Darcy waiting for her in the hall. He took her hand and directed her not to the library but into a small adjoining room. He closed the door behind them.

  “William, what on earth are you doing?” She was half-amused, half-worried about his strange behaviour in the proximity of her family.

  “Do not distress yourself. I have your father’s permission to talk to you a few minutes.”

  She instantly turned pale. “William, what has happened?”

  He held her hand tightly as they sat together on a small settee, facing each other.

  “Please do not worry, Elizabeth. Nothing has happened, but there is something of importance I wish to talk about with you, and I do not think we will have another chance for privacy before the ball.”

  She looked at him intensely. “Something did happen…”

  “My love, are you still willing to announce our engagement tomorrow night and to share a double wedding with Bingley and Miss Bennet?”

  “Why should I not be? I mean…if you are…” She stopped, a little disconcerted, not knowing what he intended.

  “Very well then; that is how it will be. Your father seemed quite excited about making the announcement. I dare say he finds great amusement in anticipating reactions to the news.” He laughed shortly, and she joined him.

  “But, William, I am sure that is not what you wanted to talk to me about so privately—though I do not mind spending a few minutes alone with you,” she said sweetly.

  He lifted her hand to kiss it and then leaned forward, his lips brushing lightly against hers. “Something will happen…immediately after the ball. I have to return to London as I left some unfinished business that needs my attention immediately. After that, I promise I will not leave you again before the wedding.”

  Elizabeth instantly turned pale, and any trace of a smile vanished from her face. Some time passed in complete silence, only their eyes searching the other’s with intense interest and worry.

  Finally, she breathed again and whispered, “Then you should go. If you say you need to go, I trust you completely. Last night you returned unexpectedly, so of course you had no time to conclude your affairs.”

  Her voice sounded weak but determined, and her eyes, moist with tears, never wavered from his.

  “I…” Darcy tried to speak, yet his voice seemed more affected than hers. “There is old business and some new, as well. I just spoke with Mr. Bennet and informed him about its nature.”

  “I see…and will you tell me more about the nature of this business? Is it related to me?”

  “It is,” he answered after a brief hesitation. “But I would rather tell you everything upon my return.”

  “Can you not trust me now?”

  “Elizabeth…” His voice was beseeching her, as were his dark eyes.

  She felt ungrateful and ashamed. He had ridden wildly from London to be with her. He showed the depth of his love when he believed her to be utterly compromised. He shared his private affairs with her father. He had already offered
her much more than any other gentleman would have. How could she dare demand more from him? However, her suspicions were painfully and unbearably strong, so she needed to ask—she needed to know.

  “Early this morning, Mr. Bingley sent a servant to inquire after the Markhams. He discovered they departed during the night in the direction of their own estate. Has…has your business something to do with that part of the country? Please tell me you will not leave London.” She searched his face thoroughly while speaking and did not miss the trace of a shadow on his countenance.

  His eyes met hers, and she could easily read the turmoil inside him. His voice came as another proof, but it was his words that calmed her; she was certain he would not deliberately deceive her. “My business will keep me in London; I shall not travel to that part of the country. Please let us not talk more on this subject for now; I promise I will tell you all you want to know when I come back.”

  Her heart was still heavy, and she felt somehow betrayed that he did not trust her enough to share his affairs with her. After all, she would soon be his wife. Yet, her senses forbade her to go further. He did promise he would tell her everything, and he did talk about those affairs with another gentleman he trusted—her own father. She could hardly ask for more. She had to trust him.

  “William, I shall not insist further; go, my love. I shall wait for you here, but please finish all your business, as I have no intention of letting you leave me again soon. I intend to keep you prisoner, sir.”

  Neither her voice nor expression showed utter relief, but she undoubtedly gave him the opportunity of doing as he wished. She was proving to him that she respected his will and trusted his decisions. The first thought that came to Darcy’s mind was simply to thank her, but he had little time to do it, as her lips, soft and sweet, tantalised his and then captured them daringly.

  There was only love and tenderness expressed in their kiss. Their lips did not part for a long time, as there was a stronger need for each other than the simple need for breathing. They separated only when a short knock on the door and Mr. Bennet’s voice forced them to do so.

  ***

  She looked breathtakingly beautiful! David stood in the main hall of Netherfield unable to move, looking at Lady Cassandra as she walked down the stairs with Georgiana. Everything was glowing around her, yet her face—still wearing the bruises despite her maid’s obvious effort to conceal them—was pale and inexpressive, almost lifeless.

  Their eyes met only for a brief moment. He bowed to her, and she tried to force a small gesture of polite courtesy that barely succeeded. Georgiana hurried to her cousin and took his arm.

  “David, are you well? I did not see you the entire day.”

  “I am sorry dearest; I am simply in no mood for company lately, but I am well.”

  “Indeed, you look quite handsome.”

  He laughed nervously. “Thank you, my dear. You are too kind. However, you truly are beautiful. I am sure all the gentlemen in the room will fight for a dance with you.”

  Georgiana blushed violently. “Oh, you delight in teasing me so! You know too well that I will not dance—I am not out yet. And in truth, I have not the slightest inclination to dance, even if I could.”

  He kissed her hand with affection and then smiled and winked at her. “Well, well, and I was tempted to ask you for the first set. Now I shall have to wait for another ball. If you will excuse me, I think the Bennets are here, and I want to greet them.”

  He departed with only another short glance at Cassandra. Georgiana’s puzzlement grew until it became distressing: something strange was happening. She had never seen Cassandra and David be in each other’s company and not talk to each other at all.

  In another corner of the room, Bingley was looking around with eyes and mouth open in bewilderment: Who were all these people? They had been arriving since morning, and Bingley barely remembered ever having met some of them before. At least five families invited by Caroline and Louisa were completely unknown to him. As for his sisters, he had been equally shocked to see Caroline’s disposition utterly changed from the previous day. She was neither angry nor rude anymore. Was it possible for her to become so reasonable overnight? Bingley could only hope for such a miracle.

  Several of his guests—Lady Something and her cousins—were just walking down the stairs, attended by a most accommodating Caroline. He politely bowed to them and expressed his hope that they were comfortably installed at Netherfield. They said they were very pleased with their rooms.

  He had no time to reply as Jane Bennet and her family entered at that moment. He hurried to her and instantly forgot about the other guests.

  Mrs. Bennet’s attention was all bestowed on Jane and Mr. Bingley, and she took great trouble in following them around the main ballroom. The majority of those in attendance were families from Meryton, and toward them Mrs. Bennet directed her enthusiasm. Her pleasure in talking about Jane’s engagement knew no restraint. Her daughter—and implicitly she—was the beneficiary of this ball; it was an engagement gift from her betrothed, Mr. Bingley—together with some jewels, naturally.

  Darcy was happy to be mostly ignored by Mrs. Bennet. He simply could not take his eyes off Elizabeth from the moment she arrived. She seemed serene and calm, and her eyes were sparkling with joy as she spoke to her sisters. Her beautiful face was wearing an open, bright smile, and it actually shone when her eyes met his; yes, she was happy to see him—no doubt about that. This was the night their engagement would be publicly announced, so he did not think twice before offering Elizabeth his arm and walking with her into the ballroom. If Mrs. Bennet was too closely engaged with Bingley and Jane to observe them, their obvious intimacy did not go unnoticed by other guests. Only a few minutes later, Miss Bingley’s friends from Town showed great curiosity in asking her about the woman on Mr. Darcy’s arm. The gentlemen were rather surprised to witness Mr. Darcy’s clear interest in a young woman of no consequence, but they were more inclined to understand his preference than not. Miss Elizabeth Bennet looked a very pleasant young lady, and the lively expression of her eyes was quite diverting.

  The Gardiners joined Elizabeth as Darcy and Georgiana hurried to bring them all together with Lady Cassandra. The reunion with the Gardiners was mutually delightful, and Cassandra’s spirits improved slightly while talking to them. However, she was far from her usual self—Elizabeth could see that. And then, there was the colonel! Though he had always been friendly with the Gardiners, he seemed purposely to avoid them after only a short greeting. He loitered in another corner of the room, staring at them from time to time but never approaching.

  Only a few minutes later, Mrs. Bennet approached their group and took complete control of the conversation. She noticed the colonel watching from afar and called to him with no hesitation. The gentleman looked around slightly embarrassed—as were Darcy and Elizabeth who shared a quick glance at each other—and then had no alternative but to walk toward their animated party.

  Lady Cassandra took a few steps backward until she had nearly retreated into a corner.

  Elizabeth could not miss the opportunity; though her ladyship’s gaze was by no means inviting, she followed Lady Cassandra and tried to keep her voice low while addressing her.

  “Cassandra, please forgive me for intruding, but I cannot go any further without asking you what has happened? You look truly ill since yesterday.”

  Cassandra laughed nervously. “Why, thank you for the compliment, Miss Elizabeth. Not even Miss Bingley has been so blunt in expressing her disapproval of my countenance.”

  Elizabeth, however, was in no disposition for teasing chat. “You know what I mean. You are as beautiful as ever. But you look truly ill; you seem troubled and distressed—and sad.” Cassandra was tempted to refuse to answer, but Elizabeth’s worried countenance altered her decision.

  Yet, it was Elizabeth who continued to speak. “I have heard the rumours since I returned home yesterday. I know all of Meryton is gossiping about the way I saved
you during the attack, and I cannot allow the deception to continue. For that lie to be spread around and affect you—

  “Elizabeth, please listen to me carefully. There is indeed something that has been bothering me. It is also true that I would rather not see anyone and be away from here; I am in no disposition for a gathering and attended this ball only because I did not want to disappoint the others. However, my disposition has nothing to do with the rumours being spread—in fact, this gossip is exactly what I had hoped for, remember?”

  “I see…” Elizabeth replied, obviously not convinced by her statement.

  “I will not talk to you about this, and I am asking you not to inquire further on the subject. Please do not feel offended by my honesty; it is simply a matter too private to be shared.”

  Elizabeth nodded silently, her disappointment obvious. She did not expect such a direct, cold rejection; she believed their acquaintance had become closer, but apparently, she was wrong.

  “There is nothing that you or anybody else can do for me, Elizabeth. I shall be fine again in time. And please believe me that your genuine concern is not unappreciated. I do value your friendship.”

  Elizabeth was certain she had never met anyone whose face was such a total expression of utter sadness. “Cassandra, I only wish I could do something to help you…”

  “Oh, but you can,” she said with a forced smile. “You can demand that Darcy dance every dance and at least one with Miss Bingley and one with Miss Cardington.”

  Elizabeth looked at her in puzzlement, and Cassandra laughed.

  “Did something happen, ladies? May I be of some service to you?” Darcy’s voice took Elizabeth by surprise as she did not notice his approach. He looked with equal worry from Elizabeth to Cassandra; the former smiled at him reassuringly while the latter laughed again.