Lovable Lawyer

by Karen Deen

  “Bastard,” I mumble under my breath which just makes him laugh harder.

  I’m sitting on the couch just watching a rerun of an NFL game when the girls finally come from out of the hallway.

  “Sorry for keeping you. They took a little while to settle.” Mia looks embarrassed that they were more than a few minutes.

  “Don’t be silly. They’ve been through a lot today.” Mason and I both stand as they get closer.

  Mason takes Paige in his arms and kisses her on the forehead.

  “Drink, Tiger?” he asks. “Mia?”

  “Make it a strong one please, baby,” Paige replies and turns to Mia who looks unsure. “You can have whatever you want, including just water, Mia. No pressure.”

  “Sorry, I just don’t drink, there was enough of that in my house and it never ended well.”

  Paige picks up on her pain straight away.

  “Tea, let’s have tea instead. Mason, can you get it ready?” He nods and then relief shows in Mia’s face. I follow after him with both our beers and leave them in the kitchen.

  “Tea for you too, man?” Mason grins.

  “Fuck off and bring back four teas and make it snappy, maid.” I’m not sure I could have handled this with Tate or Grayson. They would have had me so wound up by now, that I probably would have stormed out. Mason gets me. On a level they don’t. That’s why we all work. We each give something different to the others. At times I need the comic relief, but right now I just need the silence and straight-down-the-line attitude.

  We all have baggage in life, and Mason is the first to see mine finally creeping out.

  As I take a seat on the couch across from Mia and Paige, I can see that they both look mentally fatigued and physically exhausted but neither wants to give in and leave the other.

  “I’m just in total shock,” Paige says. “I woke up this morning not having a family. Tonight, I’m sitting with my sister and I have a brother too. I just don’t even know how to take this all in. I almost feel like I’m going to wake up and find it’s all been a dream. I know what you thought you knew about me is different, but you’ve still had time to get used to the idea of a sister, Mia. Holy shit, I have a sister.” She leans over and hugs her for the umpteenth time. “My head is spinning and that doesn’t happen very often.” Paige is still trying to work it all out and her eyes haven’t left Mia.

  “So, I’m thirty-nine, how old are you?” Paige asks Mia.

  “Thirty-eight.” She pauses. “Oh god, can you imagine what our mother went through giving you up and then getting pregnant so soon with me and then having to do it again? I just can’t even deal with what she must have felt through that whole ordeal. My heart is hurting for her. All these years I hated her, and now I just want to be able to tell her I’m sorry for what she went through. I couldn’t have done it. I just couldn’t.” Paige reaches out and grabs her hand.

  “I don’t have children, but I can’t imagine what it felt like for her. You are a brave woman, Mia. To manage to keep your kids safe through all of this.”

  “I don’t feel brave, I feel stupid. Twice I let danger near my kids. Never again.”

  “Don’t put yourself down,” I say way more assertively than I should. I try to pull the emotion back a bit. “Nothing in any of this makes you stupid. The world is full of terrible men who prey on innocent women. They use your vulnerability to their advantage. But you have managed to keep your babies and yourself safe. Now you’ll never have to worry again. Like Paige said, you are the bravest woman I have met. In my line of work, I see the awful side of society all the time. Mia, you have used so much strength that you can’t even see, to get yourself out of a situation that was bad. That took a lot of guts to run away with two little children. I take my hat off to you. One day you will look back at today and see what a turning point it was in your life. Time to clear out all the bad and move on to the good times of your new life.”

  Mason smirks at me as he places the tray of tea down on the table.

  “Thank you, Lex. It’s just going to take a very long time to process all this. I know you keep saying I’m safe now, but I’ll be honest, I’m still sitting here petrified that something is going to happen. Something bad. Nothing good ever happens to me, so you’re going to have to give me a chance to get through all this. I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop.” This is the most I’ve heard Mia speak since we found her. I know she doesn’t realize it, but her gut instinct is to trust us, otherwise she wouldn’t have just told us how scared she is.

  “We understand that, Mia,” Mason says with his understanding look. “We don’t expect anything from you, and we all know it’s going to take you a while to trust any of us. Just know, that won’t stop us from caring and keeping you safe. Ashton, who you met tonight, is an Army friend of mine who now runs a security firm. I’ve already spoken to him, and he will be your bodyguard until we get these dirtbags dealt with.”

  “I don’t need a bodyguard.” Mia sits up straight, almost spilling hot tea over herself.

  “Yeah, honey, you do,” Paige says. “Just until we can sort out your husband and Bent so neither of them can ever hurt you again. You won’t even know he’s there.” Paige is rubbing her arm now to help Mia calm down.

  “I just can’t even work out this world you live in. Big houses, bodyguards, money, it’s all just so foreign to me,” Mia says, looking into the teacup in her hands.

  “It won’t take long and it’ll feel normal. What is mine is yours. You will never have to worry about money again. I have more than I can spend in five lifetimes. But we can talk about that later. Just know that you will never have to worry.”

  “Paige, no, I’ll find a job,” she says, shaking her head.

  “It’s late, so how about we talk about that tomorrow,” I interrupt. “We have more pressing things to sort out first. The police interviews tomorrow and getting the legal processes started, like a restraining order against your husband. I will be your lawyer for everything, Mia. I’m here to help you as we go through the legal mess.” I want to make sure that she understands I’m the one she will be leaning on.

  “I don’t think I can take any more tonight. Sorry. I just need to go to bed before the kids wake up early like usual.”

  “Of course, it’s really late,” Mason agrees. “We all need sleep. Lex, do you want to just crash here tonight?” he asks.

  Until everyone started saying how tired they were, I hadn’t even realized how exhausted I am too.

  “Yeah, actually I might, if that’s okay with you, Paige. I didn’t think I was tired, but it’s crept up on me.”

  “Don’t be silly, of course you can. I’ll make up one of the beds upstairs.” Paige stands and looks like she could fall asleep standing up.

  “No, I’ll sleep here. I just need a blanket. That way Mia can feel safe that no one will come near her room because they have to get past me.”

  “Lex, no…” Paige starts to argue, but Mason puts his finger on her lips to silence her.

  “Baby, let him be. If that’s what he wants to do, then it works for me. Saves me having to patrol down here tonight, plus having him near our bedroom, you know it would get awkward.” Mason winks at me.

  “Mason, don’t be rude.” She drops her head onto his shoulder. “Fine, Lex, I’m too tired to argue. I’ll send a blanket back down with Mason.” She and Mia hug and start to walk towards the hallway.

  Mia stops and turns to look at me.

  “Thank you, Lex, you don’t know how much I need this tonight. You are my star.” With that she’s walking away, and I’m left standing there wondering what the hell I’m feeling.

  “Good luck, man. You’re going to need it. That arrow she just shot went straight through your pathetic heart. Welcome to the club of men who get dragged around by our hearts. But I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

  I might be tired but lying here staring out at the sky through the wall of windows, I keep going over what she said.

 
; You are my star.

  I don’t know what that means, but I’m committed to the time it’ll take to find out.

  I have a feeling this apartment is going to become my favorite place to visit.

  You might be starting a new life tomorrow, Mia, but you won’t be the only one.

  Chapter Seven

  MIA

  My eyelids feel so heavy, but I can’t sleep.

  I’m too wired and confused.

  Today I feel like I’ve been through a month in a day.

  So many emotions have been circulating my body since I got out of bed this morning. Not once was it one emotion at a time. A multitude of things are racing through my mind. Even now I’m still trying to separate all the feelings.

  Lying here listening to my kids’ breathing as they sleep, I feel relieved we’re safe for another night. Yet I’m still so scared and perplexed. Who are these people and why are they being nice to me? No one is ever kind to me without wanting something in return, yet Paige is my family. If I had found her a few months ago before I met Bent, maybe I wouldn’t have this feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach. I want to trust her and believe her, but where I’ve come from has me full of mistrust. My gut tells me she’s genuine, and I don’t have any doubt that she means everything she says. But my gut has let me down before. Trust is always going to be a huge stumbling block for me with anyone, even a sister I never knew I had.

  Rolling to my side I’m facing Jack, who’s curled up with his bear in this huge bed. I don’t think I’ve ever slept on anything so soft, and the sheets feel so luxurious. So out of my league. I’m praying hard that Jack doesn’t wet the bed tonight, even though he has pull ups on. They’ve been known to leak, and god knows he had way too much to drink before bedtime. It’ll be so embarrassing to tell Paige I’ve wrecked her fancy bed.

  Softly running my hand over his head, I just feel better having him so close to me. With the blinds still open so it wasn’t completely dark for the kids, I can see his face from the moonlight. He’s smiling, and I don’t think I could pry Ted out of his arms if I tried. I’ve managed to give him some toys over the years by saving some of my tips from the diner. He’s had a birthday present and something from Santa every year, but I could only ever afford one toy. Anna always seemed to have a little something for him as well and some apparent secondhand toys from a friend which looked too new to me. I don’t think she wanted to embarrass me. It was totally the opposite. No matter what, I will always put my children’s happiness first, so if she was able to spoil them a little too, I was so grateful.

  Jack’s moving his face a little. I try to work out what he’s doing, and then I realize he’s rubbing his cheek against Ted’s head. It’s so soft and smooth. Not like anything he would have played with before. I’m both sad and happy at that thought. Total mixed emotions at the revelation.

  Feeling restless still, I roll onto my back and stare at the ceiling again. My mind keeps drifting back to this man Lex. The one who’s asleep on the couch outside my room. His sole purpose he said was to make me feel safe, after he spent probably the equivalent of a year’s salary for me on things for the kids. I know he thought he was doing the right thing, but our old things were fine. I’m grateful to him, but I also feel so awkward. I don’t know him, yet he’s showering me with gifts.

  What does that even mean?

  Is he expecting anything in return?

  No one in my world would do something like this without expecting some sort of repayment. My rational brain is telling me not to be so stupid, but it’s hard at times to stop the crazy thoughts from circling. My mouth goes a little dry and my breathing gets a little quick. It’s slowly taking over my body. The sweat building up and my hands feeling all clammy. It’s now that I find my reality sinking in. I’m totally lost. I’ve run from a world where I had nothing and lived in fear every single day. A place that was scary and not somewhere I wanted my kids to grow up. But instead of running to find a place a little better that turned out to be hell, now I’ve fallen into a fantasy land. It can’t be real. They’ll work it out soon that I don’t belong with them. I’m just a mere waitress in a diner. A mom to two small children. The woman who is hopeless at everything and will never succeed at life. Maybe I’m more like my mom than I realized. A magnet for horrible men. The dirtbags, scum of the earth. It makes me think about what kind of man Bent’s father was. For Bent to turn out so badly. Did my mom fall for the same type of guy all over again, just like my father? Is my father still alive? Not that I would ever want to meet him or even know who he is. I gave up wanting to know anything about my parents when I lay on my bed in my foster home, longing for them to come and find me. I wouldn’t have even cared if we lived a poor life. To me it would have been rich in other ways. To live a life as part of a family full of love.

  Is that why I don’t know how to handle all of this today?

  I don’t know how to be loved by anyone, just for being me. I’ve known Paige for about seven hours, and she wants to give me the world. Yet I don’t know how to take that. My brain is trying to work out how to push her away, so I don’t get hurt or hurt her back. I thought I cried out all my tears earlier yet they’re running down my face. Wetting the super expensive pillow under my head. I just want someone to hug me and take the fear away. Just for a moment I want to feel no fear or panic. Not have to drag strength from the bottom of my soul.

  Jack murmurs a little in his sleep and then resettles. I think about what I tell him to do when he’s scared and doesn’t need to hear the bad things around him.

  He should sing so he can just forget what is going on around him and not be worried.

  Not wanting to wake him or Kayla, I lie hugging my pillow as my teddy bear. The tears running faster down my face and quietly singing to myself. Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. Feeling like that little girl again who was scared all the time and just wanted to fit somewhere. I would look up to the sky and wish upon a star, that one day someone would love me. Thirty years later and I’m still looking up into the same sky and wishing the same thing.

  For someone to love me.

  Not because I’m their mom.

  Not because I’m the cash cow for their drinking, gambling habit, and the occasional fuck if they were lucky.

  Not because they need to use me to get to Paige.

  Not because they found out I’m their sister, so they feel obligated.

  To love me because I’m me. Just little old broken me.

  The girl that nobody wants.

  Not even my mom.

  So why would anyone else?

  The one person who is supposed to love you no matter what, but she was the first to walk away. I’m trying to tell myself for a good reason. But here, in the dark at three am, that doesn’t sink in.

  All that makes sense in my head is that I’m the girl who nobody loves.

  I need to close my eyes and sleep.

  Let the dreams take me away from here.

  Before the morning light is peeking in again, and Jack and Kayla are awake, and I need to be super mom again. Who knows what tomorrow will bring? I’m almost afraid to wonder.

  For some reason I think the answer to that question is a whole lot of trouble.

  His little voice brings me out of my sleep coma. It feels like I only just closed my eyes. His words are followed with the sweet little giggle of my girl. I do not want him to see I’m awake, so I look through my only partially open eyes. Jack is standing over the top of her playpen and waving Ted above Kayla’s head. She is just lying on her back and smiling at him, her arms and legs moving in glee at her big brother.

  “Look at our new friend, La. His name is Ted.” He’s whispering to her, and she starts giggling at him again. I try not to laugh at his name for her. When she was born, he struggled with her name, so he shortened it to La and it stuck with him. He uses both now, her full name when he wants to appear like a big boy and La when they’re playing.

  “I like the nice man Lex. He isn’t
mean like the others. He’s nice to Mommy and brought us teddies.” He waves Ted above her head and then taps it down on her tummy, and Kayla giggles again. She is such a calm baby considering what she’s been through. From the time I found out I was pregnant with her, I’ve always been stressed and anxious. It should have rubbed off on her, but instead she’s the opposite. It’s like when I hold her, she calms me.

  “You will like him too, La. I saw he got you a dolly. It’s in the bag. But don’t tell Mommy I sneaked a look.”

  I thought I was completely empty of tears, but more have sprung from my eyes. This time happy tears, though. I haven’t seen Jack so relaxed in a long time. He was always jumpy when Bent was around. He could sense he’s a bad man. Jack knew the moods of his own father and when it was time to hide away from the yelling and sing his songs. He also knew when to just obey and do as he said so he didn’t get in trouble. So, to hear him feel so comfortable with Lex, a man he doesn’t even know, is a shock to me.

  Wiping my face so he doesn’t see me, I need to get up and use the bathroom and get the kids fed before they start making too much noise and wake the others. Sliding the covers back, Jack spots me and goes to talk—or should I say yell—to me.

  I put my finger on my mouth to signal quiet. “Morning, my good boy, Mommy just needs to go to the toilet. Can you keep Kayla quiet for a little bit longer and keep whispering?”

  He nods his head at me, and I quickly run into the en suite. I leave the door open so I can see and hear the kids. They’re used to seeing me on the toilet. No place is sacred once you become a mother, so it’s easier to leave the door open than have Jack bash it until I answer him. My head is still spinning that the guest room has its own bathroom. I’m still wearing my clothes from yesterday, and I look like a wreck. The person I see in the mirror is a mess. I can’t go out in the kitchen looking like this.

  After washing up, I start opening a few cupboards quietly and thank goodness find a new toothbrush and some toothpaste. I’m sure Paige won’t mind if I use them. Cleaning up my face and pulling my brown hair up into a messy knot bun on my head, I go back to the kids who are still playing and giggling.