Lovable Lawyer

by Karen Deen

  “Good girl, seven, six, breathe…five, four…” I’m trying hard to do this. I need to hold it together.

  Ronan’s voice then disappears as I see Lex come bursting through the door by himself. Like there’s a fire behind him. He storms towards the car. I can tell he’s not just mad but furious.

  Sliding across the seat, I can’t wait, I open the door and run to him. I know I shouldn’t be, but I need to get to him.

  But before I even get to him, he shoves the envelope he’s carrying in his pocket, and his arms are out.

  The tears of relief are running down my face

  “Are you okay?” I ask as I fall into his arms.

  “Yes. Come on. In the car.” His voice is not like usual. He sounds like he’s trying to hold it together. A little short and there is definitely anger radiating from his body.

  I don’t get to hug him for long as he turns me and starts walking us forward. Reaching the car, the door still open, he’s almost pushing me in and climbing in behind me. The door bangs shut, and before I can say a word, his lips are on mine.

  There’s an urgency in this kiss. Almost like he’s trying to tell me something but doesn’t know how to put it into words. The world around me disappears, and all I can see and feel is him.

  Having him here safe is all I care about, and I’m giving him just as much pent-up emotion in return.

  Eventually the kiss slows, and the intensity turns to a soft passion. Both of us pull back to breathe as Mason and Ashton arrive in the car. Both look back at us, not saying a word.

  “What happened?” I ask tentatively.

  “Let’s talk when we get back to the suite. Everything is fine. You don’t need to worry.” Ashton starts the car and we drive off down the road. I want to know more, but I’m not about to ask. Poor Ronan is sitting awkwardly in the back seat with us and had to get the up close and personal picture of Lex and me, yet he doesn’t seem one bit fazed by it.

  Lex tucks me under his arm and holds me tight against him. Every so often he kisses me on the top of my head. The trip is done in silence, and it’s making me feel uneasy. It’s a little suffocating. I just want to scream at them all and say just talk. I’m not a child, I don’t need them to hide things from me. But I respect Lex’s wishes and keep my mouth closed until we arrive back to the hotel.

  As we stand outside the car at the hotel, Mason walks to me and puts his hand on my arm.

  “Are you okay, Mia? Your sister is blowing up my phone with messages for taking you there, so I need to promise her that you’re alright. Otherwise, I’m apparently not welcome home tonight.” He tries to lighten the moment a little without much success.

  “Yeah, I will be when someone tells me what the hell happened in there.” I glare at him and then Lex.

  “Let’s go upstairs and we can talk there.” Lex calmly takes my hand.

  “That sounds like my cue to leave with Ronan. We’ll see you three back home tomorrow. Good luck with everything, but I’m sure it’ll all run smoothly now.”

  “Thanks for coming here, man. I know you’ve always got my back.” There’s something about Lex’s voice that sounds strained.

  “Always, bro, and Mia’s too. Try to get some sleep and behave.” With that the boys hug each other, and Mason leans down and kisses me on the cheek, whispering in my ear, “He’s a good man. Today he proved it, putting you before anything else in his life. Go easy on him.” I have no idea what he’s talking about, but I know he means what he says. Whatever went down in that apartment is serious, and I need to find out now. I’m done waiting.

  This time it’s me dragging Lex to the elevator and Ashton walking behind trying to stay close but not interfere.

  I know I’m panicking and scared. But I’m sick of not being in control of my life.

  Making decisions without me has to stop.

  Approaching our rooms, Ashton says good night and slips into his room quietly as we continue along the hallway.

  Lex swipes the card and I walk right past him into the room. I can’t help pacing until I hear the door close.

  Turning, I’m first to talk. “Tell me what the hell happened. I want to know, Lex. It must be bad if you wouldn’t tell me in the car.” I’m not calm and there’s anger running through my body.

  “Mia, let’s sit down and I’ll tell you everything.”

  “I don’t want to sit.” I’m too wound up, but as usual, he takes my hand and gives me the look that I can’t resist.

  “Fine.” I’m acting like a child but that’s probably because I feel like I’m being treated like one.

  Sighing, Lex actually looks stressed, and I suddenly feel bad for the way I’m carrying on.

  “Did something bad happen, is that why you won’t tell me?”

  “No, baby. Well, yes, but not what you’re thinking. Edward is still alive and breathing. Not that I didn’t get tempted to kill him a couple of times.”

  I gasp with my hands over my mouth. “Shit.”

  “Okay, so here’s how it went. We arrived at the apartment, convinced him to let us in to talk. I then explained who I was and that I’m representing you. He said something disgusting, and I punched him in the nose and made it bleed.”

  Fuck.

  “Lex, it was supposed to be talking. God, what did he say?”

  “It doesn’t matter. Just know I won’t let anyone talk shit about you, no matter who they are. Anyway, I then explained how tomorrow will work, what he has to do, and what the repercussions are if he doesn’t show. Got him to sign what I needed.” He doesn’t look happy, though.

  “So, if he signed them, that means he can’t take the kids, right? That I’m free from him, isn’t that what you said? If we got him to sign them that it would all be over after tomorrow? So why don’t you look like it’s a good thing?” My anger has left, and the anxiety is building in my body again.

  “Yeah, and that’s true, but there are a couple of things we need to talk about. The first involves me. I need you to know that if he reports me, I will lose my job and won’t be able to practice law anymore. Because funnily enough, as a lawyer you can’t go around hitting the people you’re against in a case.” He looks shattered and it’s all my fault.

  Before I can even say anything, he grabs my hands.

  “Don’t you dare take on any blame for this. I would make the same choice every single time.”

  “Lex, you can’t do that. I’m not worth it. See, I’m trouble wherever I go. I knew I should have left that first night.”

  “No, Mia. Stop. This is not your fault. I’m a big boy who makes my own decisions. I knew going there today, I was putting my job on the line. I don’t give a fuck if I lose it. You and the kids are the most important thing in my life. Full stop, end of story. You need to understand that. Nothing, and I mean nothing, comes before you.”

  I can’t help the tears that are running down my face. Now everything Mason said to me makes sense. As he takes me in his arms, I try to hold it together but it’s hard. Now I’ve ruined someone else’s life too.

  “Shh, please don’t cry. It’s only a problem if he complains, and to be honest, I think I scared him enough that he won’t want to say a word, and it’s his word against three of us. So, he knows it won’t be worth it.”

  But that’s not even the point, I think to myself. I have made you do something that goes against everything you stand up in court to defend.

  I feel terrible.

  We’ve been sitting for a few minutes when Lex then sits me up facing him again.

  “There is one other thing I need to tell you, and I know it’ll make you feel both happy and sad, and I totally understand that.”

  “Damn, what else could go wrong now.” I don’t even have the energy to guess.

  “What I’m going to tell you will be a shock and not something you could’ve expected. So take your time to let it sink in, and remember you had no control over this either.”

  “Just tell me, Lex,” I demand.


  “Edward told me you two are not legally married. His friend wasn’t licensed. So, they forged it all. You’re single and completely free of him.”

  I can hear the words he’s saying but it makes no sense. “He’s lying, I have the certificate he got from when he registered it. It’s in my papers at Paige’s place. I can show you. It says married.” I feel like I want to vomit.

  “I know, that’s what he wanted you to believe. I’ll have it all checked out by Greta in the morning, but I don’t think he would have lied to me today. He was scared as hell by the time we were finished with him. I know it’s hard to hear, but you need to think of the positive side to this. You’re single and don’t have to wait for a divorce to move on with your life. He signed over full custody of the kids to you, and tomorrow we get the restraining order in place and you get to live your life. Any way you want to, Mia.”

  I feel numb. I don’t know what to say. Should I feel sad I was never married and made to look like a fool? Or should I be happy for all the reasons that Lex said? Edward has no hold over me, and I should be ecstatic. Yet all I feel is hollow. My whole life, I never knew who I was or where I belonged, but for that short time, I was someone. A wife who was part of a family.

  Instead I’m back to being nobody.

  The person no one wants.

  He didn’t even love me enough to marry me properly.

  “I’m sorry, Lex, I need a shower. I just…I just need a bit of time.”

  Standing on auto pilot, I leave him and walk into the bathroom, closing the door.

  Stripping bare and turning on the water, I step into the warmth and slide down the wall to the floor. Bringing my knees up to my chest. Hugging them as tightly as I can to make myself as small as I can.

  The crying starts and I don’t want it to stop. I need to let this out. To ever be free of Edward, I need to let the hurt go. Every time I’ve started to cry before, I’ve needed to shut it down to look after the kids. But I know they’re safe, and although he’s not in the room, with Lex close by I know I’m safe too. Mason is right, he is a good man. I feel bad I walked away from him, but I need this time for me, and Lex being the beautiful man he is, is letting me have it.

  All I can hear is the water mixed with my sobbing, I’m that broken I can’t even sing. I’m not trying to be quiet or hide anything. I’m done hiding my pain. I’m just plain done hiding. They all want to help me to move forward.

  But the truth is, the only person who can fix me, is me.

  Slowly standing up, I finally stop the tears that have just about run out anyway.

  I lean my head back into the streaming water, close my eyes and let it run over me. I’m washing my past off me.

  Nothing Edward can do now will hurt me as much as he already has. I’m not giving him that power anymore.

  It’s time to talk to Lex. The poor man will be out there worried sick. If the roles were reversed, I would have burst through the door by now.

  I have no idea how long I’ve been in here. Turning off the water and stepping from the shower, it dawns on me as I grab the towel. I didn’t grab my bag and I have nothing I need. I dry myself and then wrap the towel around myself while I decide what to do with my dilemma.

  The choice is to put dirty clothes back on or go out in a towel to find my bag. Knowing I don’t want to put any of the clothes on that feel tainted from earlier, I turn to walk out the door. It’s then I spot the note that is on the floor. Lex must have slipped it under the door.

  Your bag is outside the door

  Take your time

  I’m here when you’re ready

  I’m sorry

  Lex xx

  And there is the contrast I needed to see.

  Maybe this is the universe’s way of giving me direction.

  Making sure I know where I should be heading.

  I’m hearing you loud and clear.

  Softly opening the door and sliding my bag inside the bathroom, I can’t help but smile. On top of the bag is a heart chocolate, which is from the bag we bought on our pitstop while traveling. Like a peace offering, but also, he knew it would make me laugh. Nice point scoring, Lex. Yes, this is another time chocolate is always a must for a woman who has just had an emotional breakdown. And you thought you were crap at this. I beg to differ.

  Once again, you are the star in my dark world.

  Taking a deep breath, I leave the bathroom, walk out of my bedroom to the living area.

  Lex, sitting on the couch with his head resting in his hands, startles as I walk in.

  Jumping up, he stands but isn’t sure what to do. He’s nervous and unsure if he should touch me.

  “Mia, are you okay? I wanted to come to you but …”

  Putting the poor guy out of his misery, I walk right into his arms.

  I feel some of the tension leave his body the moment we connect. Our embrace is so tight he nearly squashes the air out of my lungs.

  “I’m sorry I hurt you,” he whispers into my ear. Oh god, I’ve broken this man too.

  “You didn’t hurt me, Lex, you just delivered the news. I actually need to thank you.”

  “Me, what for?” He pulls back to look me in the eyes.

  “No one has ever stood up for me like you did today. Let alone put both their own safety and career on the line. I’m truly grateful to have found you.” I’m not sure what is coming over me but it’s a sense of peace I’m not sure I’ve ever felt before.

  “You’re worth it, and I’ve never been more grateful for anyone in my life than I am for you.” Lex looks very emotional, and I think we need to move past this.

  “Well, technically I found you when I ran into you. So, I’m taking the points for the first date.” Lex just looks at me and starts laughing. What starts as a small laugh, builds until we’re both laughing like crazy kids.

  “I can’t believe you just said that. No way do you get points for that.” Lex takes my hand and we sit together on the couch.

  “Why?” I ask, snuggling into his side.

  “Because a date is supposed to be fun and you need to have a good time, and that run-in was neither fun nor a good time. Plus, I already claimed the first official date was coffee, so you can’t take that back.”

  Feeling a little more confident now, I answer with another sassy comment. “So that’s the kind of guy you are, hey, get a girl coming with your dirty words and then take her out for coffee. That’s very classy, sir.” With that I jump up before he can grab me and tickle me or something to make me suffer for my comment.

  “Right, that’s it. You wait, you’ll pay for those words. The next time you’re begging me to touch you, I’ll politely decline, because apparently we need to do coffee first.” He looks very pleased with himself.

  “You always have an answer for everything, don’t you, Counselor?” Laughing, I hold my hand out for him to take it. “Let’s go and get something to eat. I’ve somehow found my appetite. I think you owe me a date, something more than coffee.” I’m being brave, but there are limits. “But can we just stay in the hotel, please?” I feel a little silly, but his smile lets me know that he doesn’t care one bit.

  “Sounds perfect. Can you just give me five minutes to shower? That’s if you left me any hot water.” Walking past me, Lex slaps me on the ass, picks up his bag, and keeps walking. “They always say women hog the showers, but you must have taken the record being in there for fifty minutes. I’m not sure how you thought you could improve on perfection.”

  Then the door closes, and he leaves me smiling. What a swing of emotions today. No wonder I feel so exhausted.

  Taking a quick moment, I message Paige to check on the kids and let her know I’m okay. Actually, that I’m better than okay.

  The word great is what my fingers are typing to her.

  Time for change, and it starts with me.

  “I’m in a food coma. You made me eat too much.” I’m lying with my head in Lex’s lap on the couch. I didn’t think I was hungry until he order
ed me this amazing fettuccini carbonaro. The sauce was so creamy and the freshly made pasta was to die for. Nothing like the sort of meals we made at the diner. This restaurant was something else. I didn’t know what to even pick and I was so glad when Lex just took the reins. All I said was pick me something simple. He rolled his eyes and then laughed at me. I’m sure his plan is to make me put on weight with the amount of food he always serves me.

  “Hey, I just ordered the meal. I didn’t force-feed you. The first time or the second time you went back for more after telling me you were full and couldn’t possibly eat another thing.” Him laughing makes my head bounce up and down on his lap.

  I could stay here all night, but I know that’s not what either of us need.

  “We should probably try to get some sleep. It’s been a long day, and I can’t imagine tomorrow will be much fun either,” I say, looking up at him.

  “Yeah, I agree about today, but don’t you worry about tomorrow. I’ll make sure it will all be fine. Trust me, I’ve got this.”

  Leaning down, he kisses me lightly on both cheeks and then my forehead.

  “Why don’t you go and get ready for bed and I’ll make up the sofa bed.”

  Scowling at him, he just laughs.

  “We’ve had this argument, now just ignore it and go do what you need to before bed.” He slowly lifts me up to sit before I stand and stretch.

  “Hmmm, well I’m still not happy about it,” I say as I start walking towards the bedroom.

  “Old news, baby.” His laugh always makes me smile.

  After using the bathroom and changing, I’m folding down the bed when Lex knocks on the door even though it’s open.

  “Can I just use the bathroom before you jump into bed?”

  “Of course. I’m all done.” He walks past me, and I notice for the hundredth time tonight his hot ass in those jeans. Whatever he does at the gym, he needs to keep that shit up.

  “Are you perving on my ass?” he calls me out, looking at me from the bathroom door.

  “What if I am?” I giggle, blushing a bit.

  “Then I say keep going. It’s all yours to check out as often as you like.” With a big grin on his face the door closes, and I can’t help but keep giggling. This guy can go from so serious to being the teenage boy with the big ego in the flip of a dime.