She was correct, of course. Now was the time.
The odd sensation in my chest rose again, and I rubbed at my sternum. I must have eaten something that disagreed with me. That had to be it.
“Where are you looking?” I finally spoke, my voice sounding rough.
“Around the Islington area. Close for commuting, but there are some lovely little spots.”
I could only nod.
She stood. “I guess I had best take this to the bank and deposit it.”
“Good plan.”
“I might go and see a few places this weekend. Did you…did you want to come?”
“I promised Carl I would give them some extra time on Saturday. I’ve been a bit neglectful as of late. Sorry,” I lied.
She looked disappointed but not surprised.
“Sure, I understand.”
She walked back to the library, for the first time shutting the door between us.
I stared at the wood that separated us. Somehow, I knew it was the beginning of our end.
The pain in my chest spasmed once again.
This time, I ignored it.
Rene rapped on my door, his face anxious as he poked his head around the frame.
“Halton, Jonas is on line one.”
I frowned at his voice and wondered why Jonas hadn’t called my private line as usual. I picked up the receiver. “Jonas.”
A few moments later, I hung up, staring into space. Rene came in, his expression mirroring my own. He already knew.
“Where is Fee?”
“Out getting lunch.”
I rubbed a hand across my face. “We’re going to need some privacy.”
“I rescheduled your one p.m. to three.”
“Okay.”
“Where does this leave her?” he asked.
I shrugged as I heard the outer door open. “That’s what remains to be seen.”
Fee came in, carrying a bag. Things had been off between us the past few days. She had been quiet at night, often slipping off to bed early. During the day, she was more withdrawn than before, and I knew our impending goodbye was weighing heavily on us.
The only time things seemed normal was in the dark of the night when I would slide in beside her and take her into my arms. The sex was quieter yet still intense, and the aftermath was profound. I held her tightly, seeking the solace of her embrace, needing it to sleep and wishing I could express the rampant thoughts in my head. Wanting to ask her to talk to me.
But we remained silent.
I watched her approach my desk, wondering how she would handle the news I had to share. What her reaction would be.
She frowned as she took in my expression and set down the bag she was carrying.
“Halton? What is it?”
I stood and took her hand, leading her to the sofa. Rene discreetly shut my door, giving us privacy.
“I have some news, Fee.”
“All right?”
I gathered both her hands in mine. “It’s Scott.”
“What has he done?” she whispered.
I tightened my grip. “He’s dead, Fee.”
She stared at me, shocked and disbelieving.
“What?”
“There was an accident.”
“Did-did this have something to do with drugs?” she asked, her fingers gripping the edge of my jacket.
“No.” I knew I had to tell her the truth. “He was high, though. He stumbled out onto the road and was hit by a truck. He died before he got to the hospital.”
She shook her head in sorrow. “He was using again.” Tears glimmered in her eyes. “What a waste of his life.” She gripped my jacket tighter. “I know you knew him as a jerk, but Halton, at one time, he was a decent guy. He wanted to make a difference.” A tear slid down her face. “He got lost.”
I rubbed her hands, which had turned cold. “I know, Fee. If you loved him once, he must have been a good guy.”
“What-what happens now?”
“You’re still listed as next of kin on all his documents. I guess he hadn’t gotten around to changing that. Do you know what he wanted?”
She nodded in silence, her eyes wide and shocked.
“I don’t know what to do,” she whispered.
“Rene and I will help, Fee. You aren’t alone. Jonas will assist as well.” He had been decent on the phone, obviously as shocked as Fee over Scott’s death.
“Okay,” she murmured. “But I need a few moments.”
I stood and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Of course.”
I wrapped a blanket around Fee’s shoulders, noticing the coffee I had given her hadn’t been touched.
In the days since Scott’s death, she had been withdrawn and quiet, which wasn’t a surprise. Scott’s girlfriend had been so vehement and vocal with her grief that Fee stepped back and allowed her to handle the arrangements. Fee didn’t attend the service, instead choosing a brief, private visit to the funeral home. I waited outside for her, and when she returned to the car, she was calm and at peace.
The peace only lasted a couple of days, when Scott’s girlfriend had discovered Fee was also still listed as the beneficiary of all Scott’s worldly goods, including a large life insurance policy he had. She had shown up at the office unannounced, high, screaming and yelling about Fee stealing her rightful inheritance. She ranted about suing Fee and taking her to court, and how she was the woman in Scott’s life, not Fee, and Fee was stealing her money. Security had removed her, but the damage was done.
Fee had shut down.
I glanced at Rene, who was sitting next to Fee, holding her hand. He had been a rock for her the past while, stepping in and handling things with his usual eye for detail and incredible organization. He kept a close eye on Fee, as worried over her as I was. They spent a lot of time together while I was at work. She went with him when he had his cast removed, a simple sling replacing the heavy plaster. He spent hours talking with her. Given the situation, I had bitten the bullet and hired a temp to get me through for a couple of weeks so that Rene could help Fee. She was more important than my business.
“Fee, dear, how about some soup? You haven’t eaten all day,” he encouraged her.
She sighed, passing a hand over her face. She shook her head, her gaze drifting to mine. I met her tired eyes with my own. Neither of us was sleeping now. She was restless and unable to settle, and I was tense and worried. Without her by my side, sleep didn’t come.
Fee sat up, the blanket slipping from her shoulders. She cleared her throat. “Halton,” she began.
I sat across from her.
“Right here, Fee.”
She reached for my hand, and I grasped it, holding it tight.
“I need your attorney hat on for a while,” she stated.
“Okay.”
She looked between Rene and me. “You’ve both been so amazing. Thank you for everything.” She drew in a deep breath. “I’ve made a decision. Well, two, actually.”
“Okay,” I said, a pit of worry forming in my stomach.
“I need you to support me and act as my attorney for both of my decisions.”
I nodded, somehow knowing I wasn’t going to like either one.
“I need you to work with Jonas and do whatever it is you need to do to settle this issue with Connie. But I don’t want the insurance money or the value of Scott’s shares in the practice—or whatever will be left once Scott’s debts are paid off.”
She held up her hand before I could protest. “I don’t want it,” she repeated. “I got my settlement, and it’s done.”
“Fee—” I began. Scott’s girlfriend would use the money to further her drug habit. I had no doubt of that.
She shook her head. “Hear me out. I want the money to go into a trust fund and do some good. Something that will help people struggling with addiction.” She ran a hand over her head. “Settle with Connie. I know she wants money. Give it to her—get her out of my life.”
I met Rene’s eyes. He dipped
his chin, telling me silently not to argue with Fee. I could understand her feelings, but part of me wanted her to have all the money so she would never have to worry again. But I knew I needed to respect her wishes.
“I’ll work with Jonas. You don’t have to worry about it, okay? I’ll handle it, and you’ll only have to sign some papers.” It was much more complex than that, but I didn’t want her to stress.
“Thank you,” she breathed out, relieved I wasn’t arguing with her.
“What is your second decision, Fee?” Rene asked.
She smiled, a genuine smile this time, and lifted her head, squaring her shoulders. “I’m buying a house.”
Rene’s answering grin was wide. “The bungalow we looked at the other day? With the porch?”
“Yes.”
“Excellent choice.”
It was all I could do not to gape at them. I had no idea they had been looking at houses together for Fee to purchase. Neither of them had said anything.
Fee nodded. “I made an offer, and the one condition was an inspection. It’s empty and I have the money, so I asked for a two-week closing date.”
My gaze flew between them. Two weeks? Fee was moving out in two weeks? The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them.
“Are you sure? Why are you rushing into this?”
Rene kicked my shin, and Fee looked confused. “I love this house. It’s perfect for me, and why should I wait?”
I wanted to scream that she had to wait because I wasn’t ready to let her go. But I couldn’t. I knew I couldn’t hold her back. I had set the rules, and she was following them.
I knew our time was coming to a close.
The saturation point had been reached for us both. I had to ignore the little voice in my head telling me, for the first time ever, I was the one not ready to let go.
I forced a smile to my face.
“You shouldn’t.”
Two weeks later, I followed Fee around her house, trying to show some enthusiasm for her new place. It was a great little house. Two bedrooms, a third room that would work well as an office. It had a well-appointed kitchen with a walk-out to a deck and a grassy, fenced-in yard. There was a new porch on the front of the house, well-built and covered. The two bathrooms were updated and modern, one with a large tub I knew Fee would use a lot. She liked the one in my condo. The basement was finished with a large TV area and a workout space. Set in a quiet neighborhood, the house was solid, and she would, no doubt, be happy here.
That was what I wanted, wasn’t it?
I had done my job. I was working behind the scenes with Jonas to move along Scott’s estate as fast as possible. I involved Fee as little as I could, knowing it upset her. It was complicated and messy, but eventually, it would be done. I wished I had gotten her more in her settlement or she had agreed to take at least the life insurance money, but it was Fee who made the final decision. Invested well, the money I had gotten her would make sure she wouldn’t have to worry about her future. She had a good head on her shoulders, and I knew she would be fine.
So why was I so pissed off?
She turned to me. “Well?”
“It’s great, Fee.”
Her excited expression fell. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. It’s a great house. I saw all the reports and the inspection document. You chose well.”
She took my hand and dragged me down the hall. The master bedroom was large and bright. A new bed sat in the middle of the room—one of the few pieces of furniture in the house. There was nothing else—not even a headboard. Just the bed. She had told me she planned on painting and creating each room gradually.
“Scott had the other house done—I had no say. I never liked it. I want to feel this house and make it mine,” she had explained to me.
“I’m going to paint this room first. Green,” she said, her voice excited. “A light, mossy green with white trim.”
“Good choice.” I indicated the bed. “King-size? You’re kinda small for a king-size, Fee. Are you going to need steps to get to the mattress?”
She laughed. “Yes. I got a little stool.” Then she became serious. “I know you like a king-size bed.”
The back of my neck prickled. “What?”
She slipped a small box from her pocket and handed it to me.
“What is this?” I asked, eyeing it suspiciously.
“Take it and find out.”
My anxiety grew. “I think I’m supposed to be the one to give you a housewarming gift, Fee. In fact, let me take you right now and pick something. Whatever you want.”
She frowned, holding the small box. “What I want is for you to take this, Halton.”
I accepted the box, my nerves tight. It was light and made a dull thump when I shook it. Fee laughed and perched against the edge of the bed. “It won’t bite.”
I opened the lid and lifted out a key. A shiny, silver key dangled from a chain with the initial H on it. Simple, heavy, and profound.
My eyes found hers. “What is this?”
“A key to the house.”
“This house?”
“Yes, my house.”
I closed my fingers around the key, holding it so tight, I felt the sharp edges digging into my skin.
“Why?” I asked. “Why would you give me a key?”
“So you can come and go as you need. It would be easier than having to call when you want to come over. I’m not just down the hall anymore.”
“What are you talking about, Fee?”
She looked confused. “What am I… Halton, what’s wrong?”
“What’s wrong? What the hell are you thinking, Fee?” I didn’t give her a chance to respond. “You can’t give me a key. What do you think is going to happen? I’ll stay here with you?”
She began to shake her head, and I kept going.
“We’re not a couple. I don’t do relationships—you knew this going in. I was your for now, not your forever.”
“But I thought—”
“You thought wrong.” Suddenly, I was yelling. “Don’t you get it, Fee? I am not anyone’s forever. You deserve everything. A house, someone who can love you and give you a life. Love. Security.”
She gaped, but I didn’t stop. “That. Isn’t. Me,” I snarled.
I stepped forward, almost spitting in my rage. “Don’t you dare throw your life away on me. I didn’t fight to get you free from that asshole for you to pin your hopes on the likes of me. There is no future for us.”
“I’m not asking anything of you, Halton. I’m simply giving you a key.”
I flung the key. It bounced off the wall, hitting the hardwood floor with a loud clunk. “So, what? I can come and go, fuck you on occasion? Drift in and out of your life and drain you of everything good? I can’t give you anything else!” I grabbed her shoulders. “Stop it, Fee!”
She shook her head, and I knew she wasn’t going to accept what had to happen.
I opened my mouth and sealed my fate.
I pressed my fingers into her arms and met her gaze. “If you do this, then you’ll become the whore you never wanted to be with me.”
Her gaze widened. Tears filled her eyes. “Get out.”
I turned and walked away, pausing at the door, turning. “You have a job if you want one, and I will always be there if you need anything.”
She turned away. “I don’t need anything from you.”
I nodded. “Good decision.”
I left her.
A noise broke through the fog in my mind. I peeled open one eye then slammed it shut as pain drove through my head like a freight train.
I groaned and rolled over, cursing as I fell off the sofa.
Why the hell wasn’t I in bed?
I sat up, clutching my head. A steady drum beat inside it, making me desperate for Tylenol. And water.
I was parched.
It was the sound of a key in the lock that made me raise my head. Only two people in the world beside me had a key to m
y place.
Fee and Rene.
I tried to focus my eyes on the figure moving across the room.
“Fee?” I croaked, hopeful.
“Try again.”
“Rene,” I sighed, hanging my head. I couldn’t deal with him right now. “Go away.”
“Nope.” He sat down and grimaced. “Jesus, Halton, you stink of bourbon.”
I glanced blearily at the coffee table and the almost empty bottle lying on its side slowly dripping liquor onto my hardwood floor. I had grabbed the bottle with one intent—to get drunk and forget.
I got drunk. But I didn’t forget.
“I didn’t want to waste the scotch,” I muttered.
“Uh-huh.” Rene leaned back on the chair. “Are you aware it’s Monday morning? Midmorning?”
“What?” I scrambled to my feet, groaning at the pain in my head and the way my stomach lurched at my sudden movement.
“I canceled your day. It’s all rescheduled over the next two days. You’re going to have to work extra to get it all done.” Rene stood. “In the meantime, go and shower. I have a few things to say to you, and I don’t feel like saying them while you smell like a cheap distillery and yesterday’s pity party.”
“I don’t feel like a lecture,” I fired back, trying to hold up my aching head. “I’m not a fucking child.”
“Then stop acting like one.” He turned and headed toward the kitchen. “You have half an hour. Be back here ready to listen or I quit.”
I didn’t move, and he turned, casting a glare that let me know how serious he was. “You’re wasting time and my patience, Halton.”
I spun on my heel, falling into the sofa before righting myself and heading to my room.
I had a feeling what he had to say wasn’t going to make me feel any better.
I made the water as hot as I could bear, letting it rain down on my body and wash away the sweat and liquor of the past many hours. I washed my hair and soaped thoroughly but didn’t bother trying to tame my beard. It could be bushy for the day. I dressed and returned to the living room, feeling somewhat better after swallowing three Tylenol before entering the shower. The brass band in my head had at least settled into a low, steady thump I could handle.
Halton: Vested Interest #6 Page 19