Caliente

  Once Waver had prepared to greet the day, she turned on the television and began scrolling through the local channels. When she hit Channel seven, she paused to watch the Caliente-related billboards.

  The screens generally announced things of local interest or upcoming events. However, one screen held a particular interest for her.

  The spa was relocating from the main building to a satellite building closer to Doc’s neighborhood. The Grand Opening was set for two days into the future.

  Waver heard the doorbell ring followed by three distinctive knocks on the door. She peeked through the curtains and recognized it was Mako.

  “Come in!” she blurted out loudly.

  Mako gently opened the door, stuck his head inside, and peered around before making his entrance. He was quite cautious.

  “I got clothes on,” Waver announced.

  “So do I,” Mako replied.

  “Well, you didn’t the last time you were here,” Waver remarked.

  “That’s what caused me a world of grief and anguish,” Mako said.

  “It didn’t cause me any. I’m an old woman and I don’t worry about upsetting a damn soul,” Waver explained.

  “No doubt,” Mako remarked.

  “What do you need?” Waver remarked.

  “I came to see if we could borrow Doc’s garage tonight for our Texas Hold ‘Em night,” Mako explained.

  “What’s wrong with your regular place?” Waver inquired.

  “It’s being painted, and the painter is leaving his equipment in place until the job is finished,” Mako reported.

  “You can borrow it under one condition,” Waver said.

  “What condition would that be?” Mako queried.

  “You have to take me to that new spa.” Waver replied.

  “They’ve moved and they’re not taking any customers for two more days,” Mako said.

  “If you can’t get me an appointment, when Doc and Marilyn get back from the lawyer’s office, I’ll raise more hell than a jackrabbit in a tin box about any gambling in the garage,” Waver promised.

  “Let me make a call,” Mako said nervously.

  “Hello. This is Mako. I need to arrange a full spa treatment for Mrs. Michaels. . . I realize that but this is urgent. Hold on and I’ll ask,” Mako said.

  “What’s the question?” Waver inquired.

  “What services to you want?” Mako asked.

  “I want everything they’ve got. I want the works,” Waver replied.

  “Do you want a waxing?” Mako asked.

  “If it’s part of the works, I’ll have one of those too,” Waver said confidently.

  “You want a man or a woman?” Mako asked

  “What do you think?” Waver inquired.

  “If I were you, I’d go with a man for the massage and a woman for everything else,” Mako recommended.

  “Get ‘er done,” Waver instructed.

  “She wants the works including a Brazilian waxing. She wants a man for the massage and a woman for everything else . . . Thanks,” Mako said as he terminated the call.

  “I’ll drive you there in my golf cart. They were doing some staff training, but they’ll take you now,” Mako reported.

  “Let me get my purse,” Waver replied.

  “You don’t need a purse. They’ll put it on Doc’s bill – even the tip,” Mako explained.

  “What time are we playing cards tonight?” Waver inquired.

  “The game goes from 7:00 pm to 10:00 pm usually. It’s shorter occasionally,” Mako replied.

  “I’ll get David to pay for the spa and save my money for gambling,” Waver said.

  “Hey! You played me. You were going to gamble with the rest of us. This spa thing was just a ruse for your benefit,” Mako whined.

  “I hope you can read a poker face tonight better than you did this morning,” Waver said with a chuckle.

  Mako left a note on the foyer table explaining that he had taken Waver to her spa appointment. He reported that she should be finished about 1:00 pm.

  * * *

  Marilyn and Doc sat in the probate lawyer’s waiting room and discussed the situation regarding his mother. They were very worried that their luck would run out and Waver would have a meltdown upon learning that Caliente was a clothing optional resort and complex.

  “What do you think about our Waver situation?” Marilyn asked.

  “If Roger and Amber don’t get back soon, I think our luck is going to run out,” Doc said.

  “She’s like a teenager. When we leave her by herself, she’s destined to get into something,” Marilyn lamented.

  “We’ve got at least another hour before we get back. You better brace for impact,” Doc suggested.

  * * *

  When the couple returned home, it was obvious that Waver was out on some lark and frolic. Marilyn noticed the note that Mako left on the foyer table. She picked it up and read it with horror.

  “Waver’s at the spa!” she exclaimed.

  “Who said?” Doc inquired.

  “Mako’s note said that he got her worked in and she’s getting the works,” Marilyn reported.

  “We’re not merely fucked. We’re most sincerely fucked,” Doc remarked.

  “There’s more,” Marilyn replied.

  “If I wasn’t already seated in this wheelchair, I’d have to find a chair,” Doc responded.

  “It says that Waver’s letting them play Texas Hold ‘Em in the garage tonight at 7:00 pm,” Marilyn said.

  “She plays Texas Hold ‘Em a couple days a week at the senior citizens center. She’s won the tournament for the last three years. She will empty their pockets tonight,” Doc explained.

  Marilyn’s phone rang. It was Mako reminding them that it was time to pick up Waver at the spa.

  “It’s brace for impact time. According to Mako, Waver is finished at the spa,” Marilyn said.

  “You need to drive over in our cart and retrieve her,” Doc said.

  “She’s your mother. You go and get her,” Marilyn retorted.

  “Let go together. There’s strength in numbers,” Doc encouraged.

  Waver was waiting near the door of the spa when Doc and Marilyn arrived. They noticed that she was in a good mood and quite cheerful to the staff as she bid them goodbye.

  When she climbed into the gold cart, Waver said, “David, when you get the bill, remember I said it was worth every penny!”

  Marilyn and Doc were dumbfounded. They couldn’t believe that this had turned out well. Unfortunately, Doc made the mistake that many young lawyers make in jury trials. He asked one question too many.

  “Was there any service you didn’t like?” Doc asked.

  “I know this is Florida. I know that there’s a large Latin population of wonderful people. But next time I’m going with an American,” Waver said.

  “What are you talking about Waver?” Doc answered.

  “That woman took me from carpet to hardwood in about ten minutes and even pulled up the weeds around the backdoor. Mako recommended that Brazilian lady, but next time I’m sticking with Americans,” Waver explained.

  When they arrived back at the house, Mako was there to ensure that Waver was fine, and that Doc understood the Texas Hold ‘Em game was on for the night.

  “How was your time at the spa?” Mako asked.

  Standing behind Waver, Doc and Marilyn waved their arms wildly and made gestures for Mako to not ask questions. Unfortunately, they were both too late.

  “It was a very pleasant experience. But the next time we take a skinny dip, you won’t recognize me,” Waver said as she made her way into the house.

  “What’s she talking about?” Mako asked.

  “I guess you think it’s funny, don’t you?” Marilyn asked.

  “Funny? What am I supposed to think is funny?” Mako asked excitedly.

  “Arranging for Waver to get a Brazilian,” Marilyn retorted as she walked into the house.

  “She wanted the works. She s
aid she wanted everything that Marilyn got. She wanted a waxing,” Mako tried to explain to Doc.

  “She meant to remove a few facial hairs,” Doc said.

  “How was I to know that? Nobody told me that,” Mako whined.

  “Did she yell, ‘Come in?’” Doc inquired.

  “Yes, but I was . . .” Mako tried to explain before Doc interrupted him.

  “That was your mistake last time. That was your mistake this time. You just won’t learn,” Doc remarked as he rolled through the front door and closed it behind him.

  “Oy Vey,” Mako remarked shaking his head in disbelief.

  * * *

  Later that day, Mako passed Waver walking to the mailbox to mail a few postcards to her Minneapolis friends. When she saw it was him, she waved to get him to stop his golf cart. He realized that it wasn’t the thing to do but he didn’t want to be rude.

  “Ever since you turned that Brazilian woman loose on me, I’ve been a nervous wreck. There’s a bit of soreness where she pulled up the carpet, too.” Waver remarked.

  “Now Miss Waver, I didn’t realize . . .” Mako started before Waver interrupted.

  “I’m not blaming anything on you. I should have asked a few more questions. It’s my fault. I stopped you because I want to ask you about herbal remedies – ointments, creams, oils, etc.,” Waver explained.

  “I’ve not tried it myself, but there’s a lady down the street that uses special herbal extract in some foods. It apparently calms you down. I don’t know if it would have any topical relief for your . . . er, . . uh . . . condition,” Mako replied.

  “See if we can buy some from her,” Waver suggested.

  “I check on it and be right back,” Mako said.

  In a few minutes Mako returned with a small bottle of oil for Waver. She thanked him profusely.

  “Did she give you any instructions?” Waver asked.

  “She said it was mint flavored. You just put a few drops under your tongue, and it’ll work almost immediately,” Mako explained.

  “There can’t be anything to it. There are not more than a few drops in this little vial,” Waver remarked.

  “I’m just telling you what she said,” Mako disclaimed.

  “I’ll take some now. It’s only an hour or so till the card game,” Waver replied.

  “Do you need anything else?” Mako inquired.

  “How much do I owe you?” Waver inquired.

  “She said she’d take it up with Doc,” Mako replied.

  As soon as Mako drove away, Waver took the top off the small vial. She opened her mouth, lifted her tongue, and squirted its contents evenly beneath her tongue. She tossed the vial into the trash as she walked through the garage and into the house.

  At a little before 7:00 pm the Texas Hold ‘Em gang began arriving at the Michaels’ garage. It was a larger than normal number of participants.

  “Better go get Waver. The gambling is about to begin,” Doc instructed Marilyn.

  Marilyn returned with Waver and helped her get seated at the table. Waver was unusually happy and quite laid back.

  “It must be her version of poker face. She’s very mellow,” Doc remarked.

  “When I went to tell her that the poker gang was here, she said, ‘Thank you, baby,’” Marilyn replied.

  Mako appeared at one of the open garage doors and asked, “How’s Waver?”

  “Why do you ask?” Doc queried.

  “She flagged me down today and was complaining that the spa experience had made her a nervous wreck and that she was suffering some discomfort from the Brazilian,” Mako replied.

  “You better always let her think that the Brazilian was the wax technician and not the type of waxing,” Marilyn remarked.

  “She wasn’t upset with me. In fact, I helped her with her problems,” Mako beamed.

  “What type of help did you provide?” Doc inquired.

  “I got her some special oil from your neighbor,” Mako explained.

  “Oh, Mako! You’ve doped up poor Waver!” Marilyn said with incredulity. “You are banned from this house as long as Waver is here,” Marilyn exclaimed.

  “Why? I mean, I was trying to help . . . and . . . she was appreciative,” Mako stammered.

  “It is obvious that she casts some sort of spell over you and your mind stops working. Once she has you in her clutches, you’ll willingly do her bidding,” Doc scolded.

  “If she loses her pension money tonight, you’re on the hook,” Marilyn charged.

  “It’s a $100 nightly limit. I’m safe,” Mako said with a sigh.

  “You’re safe until I tell Beverly what you have done,” Marilyn scolded.

  “Now we don’t have to bring Beverly into this. She’ll get overly excited if it involves Waver,” Mako insisted.

  “Mako, if you’re playing, find yourself a seat,” Dave McDonald insisted.

  “Deal ‘em boys. I’m making you my bitches tonight,” Waver said loudly.

  “This is your doing!” Doc said into Mako’s left ear.

  Waver did an ante of the $20 maximum. One of the six players folded but the remaining five looked determined.

  As the dealer turned the first three community cards, Waver started a slightly annoying chant of, “Flop! Flop! Flop!”

  The flop turned over a king and two queens. It was a little early to say if it was a good flop or bad flop.

  When the bets and raises were in, Waver had $50 in chips on the line. As the dealer started to show the fourth community card, Waver began singing from the Byrds 1960s hit, “Turn, Turn, Turn:”

  ‘To everything (turn, turn, turn),

  There is a season (turn, turn, turn)’

  The fourth or turn card revealed a two. It was only advantageous if you were holding a couple of twos.

  When it came Waver’s turn to bet, she proclaimed, “I’m goin’ to the river. I’m all in!”

  Before shoving her chips forward, Dave McDonald reached to stop her. Waver wasn’t happy with his actions, but Mako’s Magic Elixir kept her from having a Waver tantrum.

  “Ms. Michaels, if you go all in, I’m going to spank your ass with my hand,” Dave McDonald said.

  “Well, it won’t hurt any worse than when that Brazilian woman pulled up my crab grass. . . All in!” she replied as she shoved her chips forward for a second time.

  All the players were out but Waver, Dave McDonald, Mako, and Charlotte. The last community card, called the river card, turned up a deuce.

  Mako only had two eights plus the two queens from the community cards. Charlotte had a pair of sevens plus the pair of queens from the community cards. Dave flipped his cards to reveal a hand of three kings plus the two queens. It was a full house.

  “Winning full house, Waver,” Dave exclaimed as he reached for the pot.

  “Four deuces, bitch.” Waver exclaimed.

  “Ya’ll keep playing. I’m headed inside to watch that zombie show. I’m praying those walkers get that old bitch tonight,” Waver said as she gathered up her winnings.

  “Can you believe that?” Charlotte asked.

  “Never underestimate the power of Mako’s Magic Elixir,” Doc said tongue-in-cheek.

  10. Run & Fun

  One undeniable fact about Caliente Resort is that there are regular activities and special events. The regular activities are weekly or monthly, but special events take place only a few times yearly.

  Today presented the Dare to Bare 5K Run, a special annual event, in the afternoon and a monthly foam and pool party all day long. Doc and Marilyn had plans for both, but they had to find a way to pacify Waver for the day. Sometimes fate supplies the answers to our problems.

  At 7:30 am Doc’s phone began playing its 1950s style rotary telephone ring tone. They knew immediately that it was Roger.

  “Good morning, Roger,” Doc said trying to hide the fact that he was awakened by the call.

  “We’re at the Tampa airport and we’re headed your way,” Roger explained.

  “That�
�s great but why did you cut your honeymoon short?” Doc inquired.

  “Apparently we picked the monsoon season to spend a week in Hawaii and Amber is still having some problems,” Roger replied.

  “Are you ready to receive visitors later this afternoon?” Roger asked.

  “We’ll have the goats milked by then,” Doc replied.

  “We’re going to grab a quick breakfast and spend the day at the beach,” Roger informed his brother.

  “We feasted on hot biscuits, country ham, and red eye gravy. You should have gotten here sooner,” Doc chided.

  “We’ll get some breakfast at McDonalds,” Roger replied smugly.

  “Better shop Hardees if you want country ham. McDonalds can only offer you bacon, sausage, or steak,” Doc retorted.

  “Later,” Roger said as he terminated the call.

  Marilyn and Doc celebrated with glee. They saw this as an opportunity to send Waver back to Minnesota a few days early.

  “You better get ready. The Dare to Bare 5K starts at 9:00 am,” Marilyn urged.

  “What about Waver?” Doc asked.

  “She had a big day yesterday. I’ll get her up at 8:30 am and tell her Roger and Amber will arrive late afternoon,” Marilyn replied.

  “Meet me at the finish line at about 10:30 am. After the race, we can spend a few hours at the foam and pool party.

  “I’ll give Waver the remote and let her catch up on her Netflix Originals,” Marilyn promised.

  While Doc showered, shaved, and dressed, he giggled about the prospect of winning the Dare to Bare 5K. Unknown to Caliente, wheelchairs usually win most marathons and even 5K and 10K runs due to the speed disparity between a racing wheelchair and human legs.

  Wheelchairs can’t compete in 100-meter and 400-meter runs but they top most of the longer races. In fact, wheelchair participants are usually placed in a separate category in marathons.

  * * *

  When Doc arrived at the starting point of the 5K racecourse he was met by his sponsor, Dave McDonald of Dave’s Marina. He was excited because of the publicity generated by the first ever wheelchair entry in the Dare to Bare 5K event.