Caliente

by DM Barrett

  At the end of the baseball game, Shorty came over to speak to Doc and Marilyn. She was wearing her Rays visor and waving her matching thong.

  “Do you do this for every Tampa Bay Devil Rays baseball game?” Doc asked.

  “We do it for the first exhibition game, the first game of the regular season, and any playoff games involving Tampa Bay,” Shorty explained.

  “I really like it. I wish it was every week,” Marilyn replied.

  “In the fall we have a football party for every Tampa Bay Buccaneers game and have the prize drawings at halftime,” Shorty added.

  “I’m the newest Tampa Bay Buccaneers fan,” Marilyn announced.

  “I’ll see you at Doc’s Birthday Bash at 4:00 pm at the Tiki Bar,” Shorty promised.

  “We’ll be there,” Doc replied.

  In a few minutes DJ Nick Colorado appeared at the Michaels’ table. Doc indicated for him to be seated.

  “I wanted to talk to you about Doc’s Birthday Bash. I didn’t have your email address so I couldn’t add you to the newsletter or send you a copy of the graphic,” Nick said.

  “What did we miss?” Doc asked.

  “We’ve named the event ‘Doc’s Sluts-R-Us Birthday Bash’ and encouraged the women to wear their sexiest resort wear,” Nick explained.

  “I’ve got to rush home and change,” Marilyn said as she stood and left the table.

  “I guess she heard all she needed,” Doc remarked.

  “There’s not much more. We will play music, offer food and beverages from the bar, play games with prizes, and have some contests. We have a gift for every lady present, too,” Nick said.

  “What is that – a kiss from Doc?” Doc asked with a chuckle.

  “Actually it’s a set of non-pierced nipple jewelry,” Nick responded.

  “How does that work?” Doc inquired.

  “It’s similar to regular nipple jewelry except it’s held in place by small rubber bands around the nipples. It like the ones that orthodontists use,” Nick explained.

  “I’m familiar with those,” Doc replied.

  “The nipples or the jewelry?” Nick asked with a smile.

  “The small rubber bands,” Doc said.

  “I’m heading down to help finish with the decorations and set up my equipment,” Nick said.

  “We’ll be there a few minutes before 4:00 pm. How long does it last?” Doc asked.

  “Until we roll out the last drunk or by 9:00 pm, whichever comes first,” Nick replied.

  Marilyn returned clad in a rich, royal blue translucent mini dress with matching blue heels with sparkles. She had on darker blue and silver jewelry.

  The dress was more opaque in its long sleeves and much less so across the chest and torso. It held everything in place, but it left little to the imagination.

  “Are you trying to win the Sluts-R-Us competition?” Doc queried.

  “I’ll take win, place, or show,” Marilyn retorted.

  “Has the rain stopped?” Doc asked.

  “It’s very light. We need to make our way to the Tiki Bar in case it gets heavier,” Marilyn opined.

  At the Tiki Bar, DJ Nick was playing oldies. He told patrons that it was for the ‘oldie’ that was a year older. In response, Doc quoted from the Toby Keith song, “Good As I Once Was:”

  “I ain’t as good as I once was, but I’m as good once, as I ever was.”

  The place was decorated with large colorful balloons and crepe paper streamers. There was a large banner that read: Sluts-R-Us.

  There was a birthday cake large enough to feed a hundred people. It was brightly decorated with one huge white candle in the very center of the cake.

  Every lady got one free domestic draft beer coupon when they entered the place. It was paid open bar for everything else. They were also recipients of a nice set of non-pierced nipple jewelry.

  After about a half hour of music, dancing, and socializing, Nick called for the first party game. He called it the Blow My Candle game. It was supposed to identify the person who could best blow Doc’s candle. The competition was limited to the first dozen attendees to volunteer.

  Ten females and two males were given white balloons to inflate. The two men were given trick balloons that would automatically burst when they reached a certain size. The group had one minute to inflate their balloon as large as possible without causing it to burst.

  The two males lasted only about 15 seconds. One cried foul but got little sympathy from the audience. At the end of the competition, there were only three participants remaining.

  DJ Nick faked being able to decide which lady had the largest balloon. He told them that the person who could release her balloon and have it land nearest Doc would win the prize.

  As the balloons raced toward Doc, two flew out the Tiki Bar windows and the third landed in Doc’s lap. It belonged to a delightfully personable redhead who earned a $20 Caliente gift card and ended up in Doc’s lap for a couple of songs.

  At the end of a few songs, Nick declared it was time to play a game called Is It Her? Doc was immediately blindfolded before the game was explained.

  “I’m told that Doc and Marilyn have been married for several years. The purpose of this game is to determine whether he can identify her in a crowd. We need a dozen volunteers plus Marilyn to stand in this line and prepare for Doc to give a totally unnecessary breast exam while blindfolded, Nick explained.

  “Oh hell!” Doc said loudly.

  “There’s more. If Doc is unable to identify Marilyn correctly, everyone in the line gets 20 percent discount coupon on a single spa service.

  But, if Doc can correctly identify Marilyn from the lineup, there’s a free couples day pass, to use or give to your friends, plus the 20 percent coupon,” Nick explained.

  After giving a quick, but careful, check of three or four of the ladies, Doc blurted out, “That’s Crystal!”

  The crowd broke into laughter and cheers. Crystal became very red faced when her boyfriend inquired how Doc was able to make her identification.

  After a few more tries, Doc exclaimed, “That’s her. That’s Marilyn!”

  The crowed clapped and cheered and the ladies who participated in the contest were very pleased with the prizes.

  “By the way, how were you able to identify Crystal’s boobs?” Marilyn inquired.

  DJ Nick tinked, tinked, his wine glass to let me know it was Crystal. It was pre-planned, but it went over well,” Doc admitted.

  “Did he signal you when it was me?” Marilyn quipped.

  “It’s like the scientific method. I applied years of experimentation and observation, dear,” Doc said tongue-in-cheek.

  Marilyn tended to believe Doc’s account. However, there was a bit of her that believed that he and DJ Nick had employed some covert identification method.

  As the party approached 8:30 there were two contests remaining. The bar and food traffic had slowed. DJ Nick decided to run the Best Breasts and Sexiest Outfit contests simultaneously.

  “We know that most of you birthday revelers are either traveling or working tomorrow. Consequently, we’re running the next contests simultaneously.

  We need anyone that wants to compete in the Best Breast, Sexiest Outfit, or both contests to line up across this back wall,” he instructed.

  There were twenty ladies that formed a line across the back wall. It included blondes, brunettes, redheads, and a few with silver hair.

  “Ok. We’ve asked our general manager, Steve Riley to pick the sexiest outfit winner. The winner will receive a $50 Caliente cash card. The rest of the contestants will receive a free wine or mixed drink coupon. After that, we’ll let applause decide the winner of the Best Breasts competition,” Nick explained.

  Steve Riley looked carefully at the outfit on each lady. He even had them make a 360 degree turn so he could view the rear of each lady. He narrowed the field to two ladies.

  One was wearing a sheer red teddy with red high heels. The other one was wearing a naughty
school-girl halter and very, very short plaid skirt.

  “I’ve looked and looked but I just can’t decide. So . . . I’ve decided to award a $50 Caliente cash card to both of these beautiful ladies,” Steve Riley announced.

  His decision was a clear crowd pleaser but picking two ladies was likely his design from the beginning. Additionally, most customers, including the contestants, recognized that the outfits, not the ladies, were the criteria.

  “If you don’t intend to be in the Best Breasts Competition, we ask you to step out of the line at this time,” Nick announced.

  No one stepped out of the line. All twenty ladies were permitted to compete.

  Nick made his way down the line of ladies and used the audiometer application on his smart phone to measure the crowd response noise level.

  After the first pass, he narrowed the competition to three contestants. As he got ready for the finals, he acted as though his phone audiometer simply wouldn’t work. He beat it against his hand a few times and then walked over and had a brief conversation with Steve Riley.

  “It appears that Nick is experiencing technical difficulty with his cell phone. It seems the only logical thing to do is award a breakfast for two at Café Ole to each of these three ladies,” Steve announced.

  Even though most folks realized that this was probably pre-planned, it was really good public relations for the resort.

  Marilyn happened to be one of the finalists in Best Breasts competition. From that day forward Doc regularly referred to her as Miss Tittie.

  The name stuck with them and it wasn’t long before a lot of their friends knew her as Miss Tittie rather than Marilyn.

  12. Block Party

  One of the traditions at Caliente Resort was the rotation of the annual block parties so that there would be one every month of the year. Each block had a theme for their party. Some block parties were naughty, and others were naughtier.

  This year the Sand Hill Crane neighborhood had planned for a costume party. There was no particular theme. You could come as anything or anyone. You could even come in your real birthday suit!

  “What’s your costume for Tuesday’s party going to be?” Marilyn asked.

  “I’m going with my U.S. Army Ranger outfit complete with vest, knee pads, and an air pistol in my holster,” Doc replied.

  “Do you think carrying a weapon is wise?” she inquired.

  “It’s an air pistol. Lest anyone complain, I’ll remove the clip and CO2 cartridge,” Doc said.

  “What’s your costume?” Doc asked.

  “I’m going with a body painted costume of Wonder Woman,” she replied.

  “Who’s doing that?” Doc queried.

  “Randy Anderson, the spray tanning guy,” she replied.

  “Can I watch?” Doc asked.

  “You might end up with a pistol in your pocket,” she advised.

  “It won’t be the first time,” Doc responded.

  “It takes that spray a while to dry. Let’s head over to Randy’s. I’ve got a 3:00 pm appointment and the party starts at 6:00 pm,” Marilyn suggested.

  Randy lived about two blocks from the Michaels’ in one of the two-bedroom villas. As they arrived, they noticed that the previous customer had been painted with two dogs sitting in a basket on her pelvic region down to her navel. Each breast contained a dog’s head, with the center of each breast being a dog’s nose.

  “I always used to like a little puppy nose,” Doc remarked.

  “When did you stop liking it?” Marilyn teased.

  The couple exited the golf cart. Doc rolled his wheelchair toward the opened garage door where his neighbor, Randy, was creating his bodypainting masterpieces.

  “It’s Wonder Woman!” Randy exclaimed.

  “Be careful. She has the golden lasso of truth in the golf cart,” Doc responded.

  “Indeed,” Randy remarked.

  “How long will this body painting last?” Marilyn inquired.

  “Depending on the paint I use, I can make it wash off tonight or make it last for 3-5 days. It’s up to you,” Randy explained.

  “What do you think, David?” Marilyn asked.

  “If you have to leave campus sooner, I can give you some solvent that will take it off it a couple of minutes,” Randy remarked.

  “I like the idea of a three-day tryst with Wonder Woman,” Doc replied.

  Marilyn nodded affirmatively. Randy motioned for Marilyn to take off her shorts and tank top and lay on his spray table.

  Randy was quite the artist. In less than fifteen minutes he had Marilyn dressed only in a painted outfit that looked identical to a Wonder Woman costume.

  “I’m going to make it backless and paint your bottom to look similar to the front of the costume,” Randy explained.

  Marilyn gently crawled off the table and stood while Randy finished his work. He double checked for any inconsistencies and made a few adjusting sprays.

  “What do you think?” Randy Anderson asked.

  “How long before it dries completely?” Doc asked.

  “I’d give it a good hour,” Randy said.

  “Will it rub off after that?” Doc inquired.

  “Not really. It may fade from showering or activity, but it won’t color the sheets or the furniture,” he explained.

  “We’ll leave the golf cart and hit the walking trail for an hour,” Doc said.

  “No! I don’t want anyone to see my costume before 6:00 pm,” she exclaimed.

  Doc sighed and told Randy, “We’ll pick up the golf cart after the party.”

  “Not a problem,” Randy said with a smile.

  * * *

  When they arrived back at their house, there was a petite, fully endowed thirty-something woman waiting on their porch for them. She was wearing a very tiny black and white French maid outfit, black stockings, and black high heels.

  “The party’s not till 6:00 pm,” Marilyn remarked.

  “No, NO, my name is Giselle. I provide maid service for several of your neighbors. I was the maid for your Uncle Donald,” she explained.

  “Come inside. We’ll discuss your services,” Doc replied.

  Once inside, Giselle explained the services provided and the weekly rates. She had a regular weekly rate, but she offered a ten-percent discount for nude maid services.

  “Why is the rate for a nude maid cheaper than one with clothes?” Doc queried.

  “I don’t like to wear clothes when I work,” Giselle explained.

  “You’ve sold me. I want the naked rate,” Doc said.

  When Giselle had left Marilyn said, “Naked rate, indeed.”

  “Always go for the best deal, Marilyn,” Doc said with a nod.

  “Ok, Mr. Dealmaker, get your costume on. We’ve got an hour,” Marilyn instructed.

  As Doc rolled toward the master bedroom, Marilyn followed him. While undressing, Doc noticed that she was watching him.

  “What are you doing?” Doc asked.

  “I’m watching you,” Marilyn retorted.

  “Why?” Doc inquired.

  “You got to watch me put my costume on,” Marilyn said.

  “Oh please,” Doc said with a slight sigh.

  * * *

  Promptly at 6:00 pm Marilyn and Doc made their way down the street to Bruno Eberhardt’s house in the nearby cul-de-sac. The costumed crowd was already gathering. Ian Bradley, the regular Caliente DJ, was playing some tunes for the revelers.

  Doc knew some of the neighbors but was not acquainted with all of them. It was the same with Marilyn. She knew more of her female neighbors and less of her male neighbors.

  As they neared Bruno Eberhardt’s abode, they saw a familiar face. It was their friend, Dave McDonald. He waved and smiled.

  “What are you?” Doc answered.

  “Before this night is over, I hope to be a sexually satisfied drunk,” Dave replied.

  “Oh my,” Marilyn said under her breath.

  A long-haired brunette in a very short witch’s costume s
aid to Doc, “I’m a witch.”

  Doc inquired, “Are you a good witch or a bad witch?”

  “Oh, I’m very, very good,” the witch replied.

  Taking a second look, Doc remarked, “No doubt.”

  After the good witch smiled and walked away, Dave remarked, “That’s one of my old girlfriends. I can vouch that she is very, very good.”

  Noticing Marilyn in the crowd, Bruno Eberhard made his way toward them. He was wearing a red and black cowboy shirt, a black cowboy hat, black boots, and chaps.

  “You want to save a horse and ride a cowboy?” Bruno asked Marilyn.

  “I’ve got my own plane,” Marilyn said pointing at her costume.

  “Braggart!” Bruno said as he walked away.

  At that point the three noticed Bruno’s bare bottom and the back of his naughty parts. It was more surprising than the time he had exercised the option at the Tiki Bar.

  “That man’s hung like a horse,” Dave remarked.

  “He may be one of those cowboys from Brokeback Mountain,” Doc suggested.

  “It doesn’t matter. It still deserves its own zip code,” Marilyn remarked.

  A small framed blonde approached the trio with a large tray of brownies. She held out the tray in an effort to offer them some brownies.

  “I’m Suzy Homemaker. Would you like to try my brownies?” she asked.

  “No, they would not!” Dave exclaimed.

  Suzy Homemaker frowned and moved along. Doc stared at Dave as if to challenge his rudeness.

  “Doc, if Marilyn had eaten any of those brownies, she would think she was riding in her invisible plane,” Dave remarked.

  “I guess Betty Crocker doesn’t have anything on her,” Doc replied.

  It wasn’t long before Doc was approached by a woman dressed in a naughty schoolgirl outfit. Her plaid skirt was very short and it barely covered half of her buns.

  “I’ve been naughty. Do you want to spank me?” she asked.

  “Maybe later,” Doc replied.

  Marilyn noticed Charlotte in the crowd and waved to her. Charlotte approached them smiling.