Behind Closed Doors

by Anna Stone

  “Are you kidding? I’ve never even been out of Illinois.”

  “We could do all of Europe. Spend a few months there, slowly go from country to country.”

  “Do you really mean that?”

  “I do.” Lillian didn’t know where all of this was coming from. Perhaps she’d had too much to drink. She should have learned her lesson by now about making promises she couldn’t keep.

  “I want to go to Paris,” Emma said. “To the Louvre, to all the beautiful cathedrals, to the bridge where couples put up locks with their initials on them.”

  “The Pont des Arts? I’ve been there. They’ve cut down all the love locks a few times, but new ones keep going up.”

  Emma gazed wistfully out into the distance. “It just goes to show that you can’t fight love.”

  Lillian sipped her cocktail. It was far too sweet, but she didn’t mind. Emma began to pepper Lillian with questions about where else she had traveled to. They got lost in conversation, long enough to have a second drink, and a third, before they swapped out the sugary cocktails for water.

  Emma’s eyes locked onto something in the crowd. “Is that Kate?”

  Lillian followed Emma’s gaze. Sure enough, Lillian’s client from that afternoon was standing by the bar, a thin woman with deep brown skin by her side. Lillian knew Kate was queer, but she wasn’t expecting to run into her here.

  Almost immediately, Kate caught her eye. She waved and walked over to them, the other woman in tow.

  “Lillian? I barely recognized you,” Kate said. “And Emma, wasn’t it?”

  Emma nodded. “Hi.”

  “This is Jo, my girlfriend. I dragged her along to San Francisco with me.”

  Jo smiled. “Nice to meet you.”

  There was a moment of silence as Kate looked from Emma to Lillian. “I didn’t realize that you two were a couple,” she said.

  The cat was out of the bag now. “We’re dating,” Lillian said. “But we’re not supposed to be. Workplace rules and all.”

  “Your secret is safe with us,” Kate said. “Trust me, we know what it’s like to have to keep a relationship secret.”

  “Where my family comes from, being gay isn’t even an option,” Jo explained. “I spent the first few months of our relationship in the closet. But those days are over. It’s such a relief.” She pecked Kate on the cheek. “Don’t worry, we won’t tell.”

  Lillian felt a pang of guilt. She knew what it was like to have to hide who she loved because of prejudice and bigotry. Hell, everyone in the bar knew what that was like. And here she was, keeping her relationship with Emma secret for selfish, trivial reasons. Suddenly, all the sneaking around and lying seemed so foolish.

  Lillian had to face the truth. She was using the fact that their relationship was forbidden to avoid confronting the real issue that was holding her back.

  “Thank you,” Lillian said. “We really appreciate it.”

  “We should be thanking you,” Jo said. “You have no idea how grateful we are that everything has been resolved. This case has been eating both of us up.”

  “I was just doing my job,” Lillian said.

  “Well, I’m relieved that we can finally move on with our lives,” Kate said. “We’ll leave you two to it. Thanks again, Lillian.”

  The two of them disappeared into the crowd.

  “She’s right, you know,” Emma said. “You did well today. And for the record, you were amazing in there.” Emma lowered her voice. “It was kind of hot.”

  Lillian smiled. “How about we move onto the next part of the date?”

  “What’s that?” Emma asked.

  Lillian leaned in closer. “It’s the part where I take you back to my hotel room and we spend the rest of the night making up for lost time.” She slid her hand up Emma’s thigh.

  Emma’s lips parted slightly, letting out a rush of warm air that tickled Lillian’s skin.

  “Unless you’d rather stay and finish your drink?” Lillian asked.

  Emma picked up her glass and downed the last of her half-drunk cocktail. “All done.”

  “Let’s get out of here.”

  22

  Emma

  The cab ride back to the hotel seemed to take forever. Emma and Lillian sat in the back seat, unable to keep their hands off each other. The cab driver gave them a disapproving look when they got out. It changed once he saw how generously Lillian tipped him.

  Once they reached their floor, Lillian dragged Emma into her room. As soon as the door was shut, she pressed Emma up against the wall in a desperate, demanding kiss. Lips still locked, they made their way to the bedroom, leaving a trail of heels, purses, and coats in their wake. They collapsed onto the bed, limbs tangled together, Lillian on top of Emma. Lillian wrested Emma’s dress over her head, then pulled off her own, dropping it on the ground.

  Emma watched Lillian above her, desire radiating between them. This would be the first time they would see each other naked and exposed. The first time they would be able to touch each other without having to hastily force aside layers of clothing. The first time they could freely explore each other’s bodies without fear of discovery.

  Lillian reached around behind her back again and unclipped her bra, her breasts springing free as she slipped it from her shoulders. Her dark nipples were two tiny peaks on her soft, inviting breasts.

  “I’ve wanted this for so long,” Emma whispered.

  Lillian’s response was a ravenous kiss that sent a bolt of lust through Emma. Lillian unhooked the clasp of Emma’s bra and tore it from her body. Immediately, Lillian’s lips were on hers again, and Lillian’s body was on hers, her bare breasts pushing against Emma’s. Emma ran her hands over Lillian’s skin. Who knew that someone so cold and hard as Lillian could feel so warm and supple?

  Lillian broke away and lay down on her side next to Emma. “I want to try something with you,” she said, her hand grazing Emma’s cheek.

  “What is it?” Impatience and curiosity battled within Emma. She craved Lillian with her entire being, but she wanted to know what Lillian had in store for her.

  Lillian got up from the bed and went over to her suitcase, tying her hair up into a ponytail as she walked. Emma stared shamelessly at Lillian’s lithe figure as she rifled around in her bag. Lillian pulled out a single sheer thigh-high stocking.

  “What are you going to do with that?” Emma asked.

  “I have a few ideas.” Lillian stretched the stocking out taut with her hands as far as it could go.

  It almost looked like a rope.

  Oh. “Are you going to tie me up?” Emma asked.

  Lillian climbed back onto the bed. “You’re not very good at keeping your hands to yourself.” She swept the soft stocking along Emma’s side, from the swell of her hip to the bow of her neck. “I want to give you all the attention you deserve. And I can’t do that with your distracting hands all over me. What do you say?”

  Emma nodded, her heart racing. “Okay. Do it.”

  Lillian pushed Emma’s shoulder down so she was lying on her back. “If you change your mind, tell me to stop.”

  “Okay.” She doubted she was going to stop Lillian. Everything about this was making Emma even hotter.

  “Your hands,” Lillian commanded.

  Emma lifted her arms up in the air, wrists together. She had never done anything like this before. Lillian wrapped the stocking around them in a complicated knot, which made Emma wonder if Lillian had done this before. Once she was finished, Emma’s wrists were bound tightly enough that she couldn’t move them, but were just loose enough to be comfortable.

  Lillian took Emma’s hands and pushed them up above her head, pinning them to the pillow. “I want you to keep your hands above your head.”

  “What happens if I don’t?” Emma asked.

  “Try it and find out. But I don’t think you will.”

  Lillian was right. Emma loved to push Lillian’s buttons. She loved to see how far she could go. But just like with
their naughty phone call, whenever she had Lillian’s undivided attention, she wanted nothing more than to yield to her.

  “Made up your mind yet?” Lillian asked.

  Emma nodded.

  “Are you going to keep your hands above your head?”

  “Yes,” Emma said.

  Lillian reached down and drew Emma’s panties from her legs. “Close your eyes.”

  Emma shut her eyes and waited, her body begging for Lillian’s touch.

  At first, there was nothing. Then Lillian’s lips were on hers, first soft and slow, then hungry and firm. Lillian tilted Emma’s chin to the side and kissed down the side of her throat. Her warm breath tickled Emma’s skin.

  “God, you’re exquisite,” Lillian said, her voice dropping to a whisper. “Your body, your skin, your everything. You have no idea what you do to me. You have no idea how much you make me want you.”

  A shiver rolled down the entire length of Emma’s skin. She needed to feel Lillian’s body against hers, Lillian’s lips all over her, Lillian’s fingers between her thighs, soothing the ache inside…

  “Careful,” Lillian’s voice rang out from above her.

  Emma opened her eyes. Her hands had floated up of their own accord, but they were still above her head. She put them down flat on the bed and tried to look contrite.

  “Just close your eyes,” Lillian said.

  Emma did as she was told. Something about having her wrists bound made her pliant and obedient. She was barely restrained, but without her hands, she might as well be wearing a straitjacket.

  “Now, where was I?” Lillian knelt over Emma again, feathering her lips against Emma’s neck. She drew her fingers along Emma’s skin with an almost reverent touch. “I’m going to take my time with you. I’m going to explore every inch of you. I’m going to make you feel like your body is the center of everything, like nothing exists outside the two of us.”

  Emma quivered, her skin tingling under Lillian’s fingertips. Lillian slid her hands up to Emma’s chest, outlining the contours of her breasts, then rolled Emma’s nipples in her fingers, eliciting a fevered gasp. She leaned down and took Emma’s nipple into her mouth, circling it with her warm tongue. Lillian did so again, this time with the lightest pressure of teeth. Emma thrashed and moaned, her cries echoing through the still room. But it didn’t matter. It was just the two of them alone.

  Emma’s need grew as Lillian tormented her, lavishing attention on her bound body. The muscles in her arms tightened as Emma struggled to hold her hands in place. It was taking all her willpower not to bring them down to touch Lillian, to guide her to where Emma needed her the most.

  Just when she thought she couldn’t take it any longer, Lillian’s lips trailed down her stomach, past her bellybutton. Emma spread her legs out wide, throbbing with anticipation.

  But still, Lillian took her time. She licked her way up Emma’s folds, her tongue burning like a brand. Lillian settled on Emma’s clit and wrapped her lips around it. Emma clenched her fists above her head, the fire in her core blazing red-hot. Lillian braced her arms around Emma’s thighs, diving in deeper.

  Emma’s awareness shrank down to that pinpoint at the peak of her thighs. With one final swirl of Lillian’s tongue, Emma cried out, pleasure exploding through her entire body.

  When Emma came back to herself, she found Lillian’s mouth on hers, stealing her breath. She could taste herself on Lillian’s tongue.

  Emma brought her bound hands down and traced them along Lillian’s stomach. “Can you untie me now?”

  Lillian exhaled slowly as Emma’s hands slid further down. She grabbed Emma’s wrists and untied the stocking.

  Emma pounced on Lillian, stripping her panties from her hips and tossing them across the room. Her hands sought out Lillian’s hips, her breasts, her ass cheeks, all the parts of her that Emma had dreamed about touching. She kissed Lillian all over, breathing in the scent of her hair and tasting the salt on her skin.

  Lillian shifted her body on the bed so that she was half sitting, half lying against the pillows. Emma nudged Lillian’s legs open and knelt between them, then sent a questing hand down Lillian’s stomach. Lillian rose slightly, offering herself to Emma.

  Emma slid her hand down further and slid a finger between Lillian’s lips. “You’re so wet,” she exclaimed. It was the first time Emma had touched Lillian like this, the first time she’d felt another woman’s arousal. It was unexpected in the best possible way.

  “That’s what you do to me,” Lillian said, her voice dripping with desire. “Don’t stop.”

  Emma ran her fingers up and down Lillian’s warm, velvety folds. When her hand grazed Lillian’s hidden bud, Lillian let out a shallow, panting breath. Emma drew her fingertip up to trace small, tight circles around it.

  Lillian closed her eyes. “Yes, like that.” She reached out for Emma, her hands cradling the flesh of Emma’s ass cheeks.

  Emma continued. She hadn’t done this before, but Lillian’s body told Emma exactly what to do. Her gasps, her cries, the tremors that went through her when Emma touched her this way or that way. It was all the instruction Emma needed. And the knowledge that she was causing Lillian to lose control like this was intoxicating. She ran her fingers down to Lillian’s entrance.

  “Oh yes,” Lillian said, her head falling back.

  Emma slid a finger inside. It slipped in easily. She added another finger, then, after some hesitation, another, delving deep. Lillian let out a moan. Emma slid her thumb up, rolling it over Lillian’s swollen nub.

  “Faster,” Lillian said.

  Emma moved her body faster, her fingers thrusting and curling, and her thumb strumming. Lillian’s hips rose up to meet her over and over. Her moans built until her hands tightened around Emma’s hips, and her whole body began to shake. Lillian arched up on the bed, her mouth open wide in a silent scream, her walls clenching around Emma’s fingers. Emma didn’t stop until Lillian fell back onto the bed.

  Lillian groaned and pulled Emma into her. “Christ, Emma. What are you doing to me?”

  Emma wasn’t sure if Lillian was talking about the last hour or something else. So she simply lay there, her head buried in the crook of Lillian’s neck, until Lillian kissed her again, reigniting the fire inside her.

  “Mmph.” Emma pushed Lillian away halfheartedly. “If you keep going, we’re going to have to do that all again.”

  “We have the whole night,” Lillian said. “I’m nowhere near done with you yet.”

  23

  Lillian

  Lillian glanced over at Emma. Her eyes were closed, and her skin was glowing. The two of them had spent the last few hours “making up for lost time” until both of them were spent.

  Emma shifted on the bed, resting her head on Lillian’s shoulder. “I’ve changed my mind,” Emma said. “I don’t want you to take me to Paris. All I want is to lie in bed with you all day and cuddle up and watch movies.”

  Lillian smiled. “That does sound nice.”

  “I should warn you, I have terrible taste in movies.”

  “Oh? What’s your favorite movie?”

  “It’s probably a tie between Gone with the Wind and Titanic.”

  “You really are a romantic,” Lillian said.

  “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

  “Have you ever watched Carol?”

  Emma shook her head.

  “It’s a beautiful movie about a relationship between two women in the 1950s.”

  Emma brought a hand up to trace Lillian’s collarbone. “I don’t think I’ve ever watched a movie about two women falling in love.”

  “There are lots of them out there,” Lillian said. “I can recommend some.”

  “Or we could watch them together.”

  Lillian ran her fingers through Emma’s hair. “One day.”

  “I didn’t know you liked romance movies,” Emma said.

  “I like good movies,” Lillian replied. “Some of them happen to contain romance.” />
  Emma kissed Lillian on the cheek. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone that you’re really a big softie.”

  “Even if you did, no one would believe you.”

  Emma sighed contentedly. “Tonight was nice. Getting to do all those normal couple things. Going on a date. Making out at a bar.”

  Lillian murmured in agreement.

  “You know, seeing all those couples made me realize something. I want what they have. I want a real relationship. I don’t care if we have to hide it. But I want to be your girlfriend.”

  “I want that too, but…” Lillian trailed off. Uncertainty wasn’t a feeling she was used to having. “I don’t know if it’s a good idea.”

  “Lillian.” Emma propped herself up on her side. “I know that this is about more than breaking office rules. If you cared about that, you wouldn’t be in bed with me right now.”

  Lillian closed her eyes, then opened them again. “You’re right. But I’ve already told you my reasons.”

  “What, that you’re married to the job?” Emma asked. “That’s the stupidest excuse I’ve ever heard.”

  Lillian bristled. She wasn’t in the habit of letting anyone speak to her like that. It suddenly struck her that this was what it felt like to be on the receiving end of one of Lillian’s tirades.

  “I get it,” Emma continued. “Relationships are hard, especially when you have a job like yours. You work eighty-hour weeks, you practically live at the office, you’re always working on some big case. But that doesn’t mean you can’t find happiness in other parts of your life.”

  “It’s not that simple,” Lillian said.

  “It is if you want it to be. You’re the one in control of your life. You can make the choice to have a relationship. At the very least you can make the choice to try!”

  “Dammit, Emma! Sometimes wanting something just isn’t enough. Sometimes trying isn’t enough. Sometimes even love isn’t enough!”

  The room fell silent. Lillian hadn’t meant to lose it like that.

  “Is this about your ex-fiancée?” Emma asked.