Fixit Adventures Anthology

by Erik Schubach

  I grinned sheepishly at everyone who was staring at me now. All those mechanical eyes judging. I called out over the roar of the tumbril, the sound being amplified by the shape of the bay. “Sorry everybody. I got it now. See? Piece of cake!” Then I grabbed the control stick with both hands to pull back when we started to slide backward.

  The squeals and rumbles from around me had me narrowing my eyes and pointing around. I swear they were all laughing at me. I said, “Watch it, or you get recycled oil on your next tuneups.” It sounded like they were still chuckling, just a little more subdued this time. I shot them all a grin then said, “Here goes nothing.”

  Then true to my word, nothing. The engines cut out, and we plummeted to the ground. The emergency avoidance thrusters cushioning our short fall. Now they were all squealing uncontrollably, and blip had fallen on his side, his treads spinning and grappler flailing he was laughing so hard. I muttered, “I hate you all.”

  Fifteen minutes later, after a quick repair and test of the propulsion circuits after finding the problem, I fired her back up again. This time the Albatross felt more responsive. I waved, they all waved back, and with a couple experimental tries on the stick, I got us moving slowly forward, blowing spare parts all over the ground as we moved out of the repair bay.

  In hindsight, I maybe should have towed the tumbril out to the pad before starting her up. But hey, live and learn. The moment we left the bay, the air pressure and sound pressure changed. My ears were no longer ringing with the overwhelming sound of the turbines, and I could hear myself think.

  I looked up to the floating city in the now orange and green sky. From here the metropolis looked like a whitish hazy cloud, hanging unnaturally in the sky. It was odd, the little fleas I usually saw zipping off in all directions were not present. Then I remembered they had grounded all tumbril flights out of the city while the Sky Guard dealt with the Betweeners.

  I nodded to myself then touched the bud on the side of the leather flight helmet and winced at the squelch of static that burst forth, before the link cleared up. Wasn't there a single flanterskelling thing working at Agri-grid A1? I couldn't keep up with all the infrastructure repairs and service all my harvesting buddies while making sure we always hit our quotas. Everything was just trollite around here.

  I spoke when I got the connection tone, “This is the Albatross, KL4-31, Agri-grid A1 Actual. New Terra flight control come in.”

  Static, then a woman's voice sounded out over the link. “This is NT Flight, go ahead Albatross.”

  I looked up to the sky. “Requesting flight clearance from Agri-grid A1 to NT Palace, emergency supply shipment.”

  The woman said, “Negative Albatross. Condition Violet, no civilian traffic until further notice.”

  I sighed and responded, “New Terra Actual is expecting the shipment for Lady Peregrine herself.”

  There was a long pause. I knew the thoughts going through the flight controllers head, none of them polite, they were the same thoughts I had when I was informed I was responsible for the replacement shipment and had to fly it up myself.

  Then the woman was back on. “Roger Albatross, you are cleared for traffic lane Beta. I'll track telemetry.” Then there was a pause. “Tumbril KL4-31 is registered as an old Mark 2?”

  I sighed and nodded to myself and affirmed it, “Roger NT Flight.”

  The woman sounded put out now and grumbled over the line, “That thing can't make a direct flight, not enough lift, it'll take at least a half hour or more to spiral up.”

  I thought to myself. Well, too bad Miss 'I've got better things to do than babysit a tumbril.' I shouldn't have to be making this flight to begin with. Some crystal licker had his panties in a bunch.

  Instead, I ignored her and said, “Albatross en route,” She replied in the affirmative.

  I swallowed and shoved the thrust lever forward, and the air breathers whined, and we started slowly rising toward the sky as I started vectoring our thrust forward. Within seconds we were cutting through the air at breakneck speeds, and it was exhilarating! Glitch agreed as he squealed in joy. If I had known it was such a rush, I would have repaired this old clunker a long time ago.

  I pulled back on the stick, and we started climbing but a lot more slowly than our forward thrust felt like we would. Oh well, at least I'd get to fly for a while longer. I started banking into long looping spirals, climbing a few hundred feet at a time, using my delta V to keep climbing.

  I was grinning like a fool until a beeping, warning tone, came over my link. I looked at the console and saw a red light blinking over the lidar scope. Then I swore and looked to the north. I saw nothing for a moment and was about to check the lidar scope again when two vessels burst through a cloud layer at the peak of some mountains below me, at about five miles out.

  The blood red paint job on the oncoming vessels had me swearing as they climbed straight up on an intercept vector, their engines streaming white hot plasma. I was on the link instantly, “NT Flight, Albatross! I have Betweeners incoming!”

  Chapter 5 – Betweeners

  The woman's voice was strained as she replied, “Roger Albatross, we have them on scope. Change vector to heading 163, delta Z at zero zero to prolong intercept. Sky Guard dispatched, ETA two minutes.”

  I growled out, “Negative Flight, I don't have twenty seconds let alone two minutes.” Flanterskelling pirates! They were just laying in wait at the peak. My heart was racing. Sometimes they just took the shipments and let the crew go, but sometimes they simply threw them overboard and took the vessel too. I was pretty sure I couldn't fly without the tumbril, and I didn't have a jump pack, so I decided it was better not to just cross my fingers.

  I muttered over the link, “Let's see how badly these bootwaffles want me.” Then I banked hard to port as I feathered the port engines, spinning wildly on my X axis, the G-forces pulled on me and the photon restraints heated under strain as my vision started tunneling. I fought passing out under the Gs. Glitch was slowly sliding toward the side of the cargo bed, holding on tight with his grappler.

  I was cognizant enough to pull out of the turn after flipping on our axis. Then as the blood made it's way back to my brain, I heard NT Flight asking, “Albatross, what are you doing? Are you suicidal?”

  I tapped the link off and glared at the oncoming Betweeners I was now facing and growled loudly, slammed the throttle wide open as I dove toward them. The vessel shuddered as I was hit with negative ion disruptors. I grinned fiercely, they were attempting to disrupt my ion plasma drives. Guess what you crystal lickers, I don't have any.

  The age of the vehicle was playing to my advantage. They were trying to force me to land using emergency reaction thrusters. I feathered my vector down slightly to increase my speed incrementally, I was nearing the speed of sound, and the crystal-alloy windshield was starting to shake.

  I saw a turret on the bottom of the nearest streamlined, enclosed vessel, swing toward me. That was a harpoon gun. Our crossing speed was going to be close to Mach two, that wouldn't secure me, it would tear right through me if we didn't collide. I narrowed my eyes and raised the nose of the Albatross a bit to aim right at them. I wasn't going to let them get above me to get a shot, and I wasn't going to veer off. They couldn't build enough Delta Z to get over me to shoot that damn pig sticker at us. So this was it, a game of ultimate chicken that might get me and Glitch killed.

  I called out to him over the rushing wind and the whining of the air breathers. “Hang on Glitchy!” He squealed with fear in return. Our closing speed was so great we had maybe two seconds before we collided into a fireball in the sky. But the other pilot panicked first and dipped at the last instant, and I heard a screech as our belly scraped their upper fuselage.

  I exhaled and panted as I throttled back and leveled off before we shook apart, knowing there was likely a streak of red paint on the underside of the Albatross and a brown one in my pants.

  I had just leveled out when I heard the high pitched whinin
g of a plasma drive over our own turbines. How? They couldn't have turned that quickly. Then I realized the other Betweener tumbril must have flanked and adjusted course in case things turned out the way they did. I wasn't a pilot, and my inexperience was going to cost us.

  At that thought the Albatross heaved, and side slipped a bit as we were struck by a harpoon from the Betweener who had closed on our wing. They started reversing thrust, dragging us down to less than a hundred miles per hour as they reeled us in slowly. I was pushing down the panic.

  Come on Fixit, think! They may have those sleek space rated, enclosed tumbrils, but you have your brain. Now think.

  They were slowing us down like that to board, when we were around sixty miles per hour, it would be safe for them to cross over. The proximity alarms were all going off as they reeled me in slowly while our speed decreased. I could hear the whining of their plasma drives over the thudding of my heart. I was getting close to hyperventilating in my panic.

  They were just off to port, five feet off the port wing fin, just past the rear intake, their craft was twice the size of mine, and I could see pirates crowding the windows of their enclosed cabin to look at me

  Then their doors slid open, and men and women in wingsuits and jump packs started leaping over to the Albatross. The turbines vectored to steady us as the first two landed on the stubby wing fins of my lifting body craft, and they were armed.

  That's when my brain kicked back into overdrive as I pushed the paralyzing fear back to the far recesses of my mind. I wasn't going out like this, no way. I was going to tend the crops until my dying day, just like mom. I wasn't going to let a bunch of bootwaffles take me out. My eyes darted around as the first two made their way into the cargo bed.

  I smirked when my eyes caught something beside me. I switched off my photon restraints and dove onto the photon docking projector as the first man started raising his weapon, it looked like an old-school projectile accelerator. I swung the projector his way and slammed my palm down on the activation button.

  With a scree, a solid line of compressed photons, meant to tether the tumbril in a docking port on one of the terminals on a floating city, shot out and slammed into the man's chest. Sending him and the woman behind him tumbling out onto the wing fin, narrowly missing the intake port. They were unable to get a handhold and slid off into empty space.

  I watched as they tumbled through the sky, falling rapidly behind our two vehicles. I was horrified and elated. Had I just killed them? Then I saw them spread their arms and legs wide and they started soaring gracefully. Their wingsuits! Between those and their jump packs, they'd make it to the ground just fine.

  To my chagrin, part of me was disappointed, but the rest of me was relieved. I don't think I could have lived with blood on my hands, even if they were trying to kill me and steal my shipment.

  I had been too distracted with watching those two that I hadn't realized that two more had boarded until the air breathers re-vectored to stop the sway of their extra weight on the wing.

  The first one leapt into the cargo bed and started running toward me, her rebreather making her look sinister. The second guy had the misfortune of jumping into the cargo area beside Glitch, who grabbed him with an electrified grappler. The man fell to the cargo bed twitching and jerking.

  The woman stumbled when I heard the high-pitched screeching of massively overpowered plasma drives that drowned out even the sound of her vessel. And then there was the sound of a plasma canon followed by a deafening roar and detonation as the second Betweener tumbril which had been able to turn back around and re-engage, was blown out of the sky in a giant fireball.

  The storage crystals onboard must have ruptured and released all their energy in an instant in a spectacular, uncontrolled, cascade lattice failure.

  The pirate was knocked off her feet by the concussive blast, and I was blown overboard. I managed to snag the corner of the windscreen with my right hand. I was dangling as I was buffeted by the wind of our passing, repeatedly slamming against the bow of the Albatross. My panic was rising again, washing away that odd analytical calm which I had just moments before. I struggled to pull myself back on board.

  I swung my body and was just able to grab the windscreen with my other hand and dragged myself back inside. I rolled to the floor facing up as I panted, trying to calm my adrenaline filled body. I watched in morbid fascination as the massive Sky Guard tumbril slid in above us.

  Then I gasped as the wind was knocked out of me as the Betweener, who had obviously regained her footing, dove onto me. Her knee slamming into my gut, causing pain to bloom through my belly.

  My eyes snapped wide when she pulled a large blade from a hip sheath.

  I grappled with her as I gasped for air that wouldn't come. I didn't want to die there! I grabbed her by the rebreather mask and yanked back with both hands. She went tumbling over me and slammed into the control console hard, sending sparks flying everywhere as system alarms chimed.

  I stumbled to my feet and quickly pulled my multitool from my tool pouch on my hip, and instinctively tapped a code into the handle. I could hear the clinking as it unfolded and reconfigured into a large lug spanner that I could use as a makeshift club.

  Before I could spin back to face the pirate, someone landed in front of me from above with a solid thud. She stood from the crouch she landed in, to her full height, towering above me, and I just blinked at the tall Sky Guard ranger. Her long, straight ebony hair swirled back behind her in the wind, whipped like ethereal snakes.

  The flanterskelling woman had a crooked smile on her face, her dark eyes twinkling behind the crystal alloy visor that protected her eyes from the wind. Her violet plasti-ceramic armor fitting her form nicely and not leaving much to the imagination.

  I just gawked at her, frozen in her gaze as she cocked her head and yelled over the cacophony of whining turbines and plasma drives of the three vessels, “Hi.”

  I actually blushed as it felt as if she were actually checking me out. I was peripherally aware that Glitch had a plasma cutter out and was working on cutting the harpoon tether. Good boy.

  She winked at me, her white teeth showing starkly against her light olive complexion then she placed her hands on my shoulders and said, “Down please.”

  I instinctively ducked, and her plasti-ceramic covered fist lashed out, and there was a solid clanking thud as she struck the Betweener who had recovered, and was about to stab me from behind.

  The woman went flying back into the console again, causing another shower of sparks before she slumped to the floor, unconscious with a shattered rebreather mask dangling and blood covering her face. I almost snorted when all the systems warning alarms stopped chirping.

  I stood slowly back up, staring back at the woman the Guard had laid out with a single blow. Ok, not gonna lie, I had a little bit of hero worship goin' on at that moment. I turned back to her and blushed as she gave me a crooked grin.

  Then my eyes shot wide, and I yelled, “Duck!” I swung my lug spanner with all the force I could muster. Her reaction speed was incredible. She had ducked and had already half spun around by the time my spanner connected with the jaw of the man who had recovered from Glitch's shock and was about to hit her from behind.

  A detached part of me watched in fascination as he spun in place, swayed, then went down like a sack of grain onto the deck as the ranger stood.

  Then the Albatross slid violently to the side when the harpoon tether finally snapped. The Sky Guard's hand shot out to steady me, and I felt my body vibrating with the raw adrenaline coursing through my veins as the turbines re-vectored to put us into a hover again.

  I stared at the grinning woman through wide, manic eyes. She looked thrilled and excited like she was having a good time, and affirmed that by yelling, “Thrilling!” Then pulled me to her and kissed me hard. She released me as I just stood in shock.

  She had just kissed me. And good lord of the cosmos, it was thrilling, wasn't it? My body hummed as she s
miled toothily and said, “Be just a jiff.” Then she winked and quickly dove overboard, slapping her arms to her side.

  I stepped quickly to the side and looked down in a panic. The now loose pirate craft was diving for the cover of a cloud bank. The Sky Guard Ranger was vectoring her body toward them at breakneck speed. A moment before impact she twisted her body, and her legs slammed into a wing fin and she punched the skin of the wing, then held onto the hole she made.

  Then she pulled a small negative ion blaster from a holster at her hip and started shooting the plasma drive ports. They sputtered then failed, and the vessel started plummeting out of control to the ground below. She pushed off of it and into the air, just to be swallowed up by the clouds.

  She didn't have a jump pack, she'd be killed! I dove to the controls and started to pivot for a dive when a massive tumbril rose up from the cloud bank, the water vapor bubbling away from it as it rose. And there was that crazy Amazon of a Sky Guard ranger standing on the roof of it in a three-point stance. Holding onto a ventral port.

  I stared at her then glanced up, realizing for the first time, her vessel wasn't there anymore. She probably had a cybernetic link to it and had it diving before she even made her crazy free fall leap. I blinked and blushed. Oh yeah, there's that hero worship kicking in again.

  I bit my lower lip. Damn, why are the crazy ones always so hot.

  I paused. So hot? Ok, apparently I was attracted to the nutcase.

  She slid off the roof and stepped across our wings and kept her eyes on me the whole time she put restraints on the unconscious man and hefted him over her shoulders. She called out, “That game of chicken was a thing of beauty, lady. You got balls of titanium. Gave me a chance to get into position.”

  She glanced away long enough for her tumbril to move lower and an airlock opened. She tossed the man across unceremoniously with a bit of effort, as I felt my blush spreading as I watched her muscles flex with the effort. I had a sudden urge to check my hair, but it was mostly contained under the leather flight helmet.