Ex Factor

by Varsha Dixit

  After the meeting at the restaurant, Ojas had realized that he and Gina would never be the kind of exes who could be good friends. I love her too much for that! Ojas bit off an expletive. I have to stay away from her, whatever it takes. Gina is sensitive. If I take a few steps backs and stay aloof, she won’t even look in my direction. Ojas nodded, liking his plan.

  Hearing that Gina was coming alone to Pune at this time of the night, Ojas had passed some tortuous anxious hours. Every minute till she had arrived was full of angst. Most macabre of thoughts had come to his mind and he had gripped the hospital chair so hard he was sure he had left indents.

  Gina has no idea how hard it is to keep my distance from her. But I will do whatever it takes to make her happy. Ojas had not forgotten what Gina had said to him in his office: If you hurt yourself you will be hurting me more. I have a shot at being happy again. Promise me that you won’t spoil it for me this time.

  Some days, doing the right things was hard. Sometimes the past came back with viciousness like a kick to the balls. Today was one such day.

  Ojas had woken up missing all that he had lost in the last few years. Gina was on the top of the list. His depression was so severe that he slept for the next seven hours straight. When he had woken up close to the evening, he had joined his mother for tea and then gone straight back to his room.

  His therapist had warned him that such days would come and the only way to handle them was to embrace the pain. This was how ‘letting it all out’ worked. And while Ojas had been hunched over the desk in his office in the darkness, his queen had called, sounding like she needed him, like she was desperate for him. She would think me such a jerk if she ever found that I had a hard on just hearing her voice.

  The car went over a bump. Ojas bit off a curse, tightening his grip on the wheel. Gina’s lids flickered but she did not open them. Ojas couldn’t help but look at her one more time. She is going home with me. It feels perfect! No, no! I’m totally wrong for her. Gina deserves better, much better. I must control myself. Be very distant!

  Resolute, Ojas did not even allow himself even a peek of Gina in the rearview mirror.

  Chapter 24

  Gina woke up to the sound of a car door shutting. There was someone leaning on the door. She turned and saw her father too waking up, straightening away from her. She saw him wince in pain. She remembered her father’s accident and cast. “Papa, let me help you.”

  “Gina, if you come out, we can help.”

  Gina looked over her shoulder; Ojas was standing there with two guards who manned the gate.

  “Thanks!” Gina got out and waited at the side of the car.

  The front door of the house opened and Ojas’s mother, Kamla Purohit, stepped outside. She came down the stairs and hugged Gina.

  Gina was taken by surprise and before she could respond, Kamla had walked to Gina’s father.

  Gina cast a worried glance at Ojas. He was watching the elders, intently.

  Satinder and Kamla exchanged a few awkward stilted sentences and then fell quiet, uncertain, as there was nothing else to say.

  Ojas took over and helped Gina’s father inside his house with the help of his staff. Gina and her father were given rooms next to each other.

  Some light dinner was brought to her father’s room and Gina and her father ate, talking quietly.

  “He seems to have done well,” Satinder said.

  Gina nodded, focusing on the soup she was drinking.

  “You and Ojas are still in touch?” Satinder watched Gina from under his bushy eyebrows.

  “No!” Gina shook her head with such vehemence that she was surprised when she did not hear her neck crack. She put her soup down. “There is nothing between us, Papa.”

  “Okay.” Satinder kept eating.

  “Nothing at all!” Gina reiterated.

  “Hmm.” Satinder did not look up from his food.

  After dressing his cuts and bruises and giving him his meds, Gina made sure her father was as comfortable as she could make him. One of the guards was to sleep in the same room as her father in case he needed help in the night.

  Gina came out of her father’s room after making him comfortable. The rest of the house was quiet and dark. She remembered what Ojas had said to her in the car. While you are at my house you won’t see much of us.

  Sighing, Gina went to her room. The room was new to her and situated at the back of the house. The room was large and comfortable with minimal furniture.

  After a shower, Gina slid into the soft bed and pulled the sheets up to her neck. An hour later, she was still unable to sleep. New places and new beds always made it hard for her to snooze.

  At the other end of the room, there were glass doors covered by a sheer curtain. Gina could see the lush garden outside, highlighted by soft lighting.

  Sighing, Gina slipped out of her bed and walked to the glass door. Pulling the curtains aside, she clicked the door open and stepped outside.

  The slight breeze that brushed against her carried the scents of the flowers, grass, and pool water. Gina took off her slippers and let her feet sink in the damp grass. Aaah! She closed her eyes in delight as the sensation rejuvenated her. Gina wiggled her toes in the grass.

  Gina looked back at the house. It was dark.

  Everyone’s probably fast asleep.

  Immensely enjoying the feel of being in a garden and smell of fauna around her, Gina decided to walk to the pool. The garden was wrapped around the house. Relishing the feel of the grass and the quiet of the dark, Gina walked through the garden.

  At some distance, the blue water of the pool that was sparkling with underground lights, beckoned her. Gina walked up to the pool and looked in its blue depth. So beautiful! While living in Singapore, Gina had taken up swimming as a hobby and soon, it became a passion that she indulged in nearly every day for an hour and a half.

  Wish I could swim now. Her body tingled for a feel of the water, the rush of the water washing over her body as she cut through it, one lap after another till her arms felt like they were on fire. She bent down and ran her hand through the water. It was cool and refreshing as the drops trickled down her arm.

  Should I take a swim? I have extra clothes in my bag. Nobody would know. Gina raised her head and looked around.

  Her mouth formed a tidy little ‘O’ when she saw a silhouette sitting on the deck some distance from the pool. It was Ojas. He was sitting in the dark, looking in her direction.

  Uncertain, Gina stood there, her slippers dangling in her hand. Shoot! Do I go or do I stay? Should I wave at him? Gina brought her hands behind her back as her shoulder slumped low. Her teeth started nibbling her lower lip.

  Ojas sat watching the woman who had walked gracefully across the garden, a peaceful look on her face as she gazed at the water. The light of the pool had reflected off Gina, making her face, her bare arms and legs appear luminous. She seemed ethereal like a sprite that visited the human world in secret when everyone was asleep. Ojas knew he could watch Gina for an eternity.

  Knowing that Gina was in the same house as him, had driven all sleep from his eyes. Restless, he had come out on the deck to clear his muddled head.

  For five years, Ojas had had gone against his basic nature and suffered in closed spaces but now he could not get enough of the outdoors. A place where he truly felt alive and at home.

  At first, Ojas thought he was imagining Gina when he had seen her emerge from behind the house, holding her slippers. He had forgotten to breathe as he watched her walk on the grass, little sighs escaping her lips as she enjoyed the feel of grass under her bare feet. Hearing those sounds and seeing Gina’s willowy body in a t-shirt and shorts, Ojas had gone stiff as a board in his jeans.

  She had stopped at the edge of the pool and exhaled. Ojas saw her firm round breasts rise and fall and his hands moved against his thighs where they rested. He knew their shape well. He had spent a long time loving them when they were together. He had adored and explored her from head
to toe when they were together. He was her first, but Gina loved sex as much as him. She was a quick learner and soon the teacher became slave to the student. Sometimes, all it took was one sultry look from Gina and Ojas would reach for her.

  Once they had been in a restaurant when Gina had casually reached and let her hand rest on his thigh, applying slight pressure. Dry mouthed, Ojas had watched her eat her food slowly and suggestively. Gina had smiled and given him a look from under her lashes, aware of the effect she was having on her husband. Ojas felt like he was on fire. He had paid the check and rushed her out quickly, even as she had giggled all the while, asking him to slow down. That night they had not made it back to the house. They had made love in the backseat of the car. Another first for Gina.

  The memories came back with a vengeance. Ojas’s mind and body was in a frenzied state, greedy to take Gina and give her so much pleasure and take so much pleasure till neither of them could move except to cling to each other’s naked body, trying to catch their breath.

  Gina had seen him and she did what she did when she was uncertain: she started nibbling at her lower lip. Ojas thought he would explode in his pants. He gave a quiet groan, most grateful for the dark as she could not see his expression or hear him, for she was far.

  Gina’s tremulous expression and his manners got the better of Ojas. Reluctantly, he grabbed his cane and got up.

  Gina finally breathed when Ojas stood up. Thinking he had been sitting there in the dark, watching her intently, Gina felt a shiver travel down her body.

  It was a feeling Gina hadn’t experienced in a while. It took her back to that part of her past that she had repressed the most. The past where Ojas and she had been lovers obsessed with each other’s bodies. Soul stirring kisses, suggestive whispered words, sweat slicked flesh sliding over flesh, naked limbs entwined, sometimes she clinging to Ojas’s muscled bare shoulders and sometimes she, riding, Ojas as he kneaded her breasts, urging her to ride him harder.

  Ojas put his hands on the parapet and leaned out. He was still a mere shape in the dark. Gina felt a pull she could not fight. She walked toward him, her steps slow but steady. She climbed the wide stairs and stopped only two stairs away from Ojas. She felt shy going any closer to him.

  Ojas got a whiff of her scent and he tried to inhale as much as he could without drawing her attention. His body grew painfully hard and his fingers tightened around the parapet.

  The dark was a perfect cover for both Gina and Ojas to hide their true feelings and expressions.

  “I couldn’t sleep,” Gina said, looking up at Ojas.

  “Neither could I.” Ojas sat staring above her head.

  Gina was too close to him and he was too close to losing control. Ojas was worried he might say or do something that would jeopardize the newfound peace that existed between Gina and him.

  “You have a beautiful garden.”

  “Thanks! It’s all my gardener.” Ojas stole a glance at Gina. It was dark near the stairs and he couldn’t see her face clearly anymore. It frustrated him.

  Gina spied the bottle at his feet. Her eyes narrowed. “What are you drinking?” Her voice was suspicious.

  A side of his lips lifted. “Beer!”

  “What?” Gina sputtered, “I thought you gave up alcohol.”

  “I’m kidding. It’s sparkling apple cider.”

  Gina wrinkled her nose. “That’s even worse than alcohol.”

  Ojas felt a load of tension roll off him. The horniness stayed. “Is your room comfortable?”

  Gina nodded. “Very!”

  They both grew quiet, not sure what to say yet not ready to part ways.

  “I’m planning to sell the house,” Ojas said.

  “No!” Gina colored at her raw reaction. “I mean, why?”

  “This house is too big for me. Why did you say no? You like this house?”

  “Yeah sure, it’s nice.” Gina feigned nonchalance. I love this house. “The area and all. It’s a nice quiet neighborhood. So, you will continue to stay in Pune or move?”

  “Maybe move,” Ojas replied, keeping his answers clipped even as he wondered why he had shared with Gina the thoughts that he hadn’t shared with anyone yet.

  Gina nodded, not sure what else to say.

  “So, are you seeing someone?”

  “What?” Gina fumbled. She had not seen that question coming.

  “You were on a date when we met last. Any seconds?” Ojas asked.

  “Seconds? It’s not like it’s food.” Gina rubbed her finger on the balustrade at the side of the stairs. It was cool to touch.

  Ojas rubbed his chest. “No, but you deserve to be with someone who keeps you happy. You should keep dating.” His mouth tasted bitter.

  Ojas’s words irritated her. Gina dropped her slippers and put them on. “Why do you assume that I have to be with someone to be happy? I can be happy on my own…just like you.” Her voice was brisk.

  Ojas sighed. “Our situations are different, Gina.”

  “How! Oh right, you are successful and rich.” Gina did not add ‘handsome’ to the list on purpose. Even in the dark, Gina could see Ojas do a double take. Gotcha! The night, the outdoors…everything made her feel light hearted.

  “Aren’t you forgetting something?” Ojas nodded in the direction of the walking stick resting against the parapet.

  Gina was glad for the dark. It made her bold. “The stick is not as big a deal you make it out to be. Women are not that shallow. You would still be a catch for a lot of them.”

  “Will you date me?” Ojas asked, unconsciously holding his breath.

  Gina flinched and blurted a quick “No!” She saw Ojas avert his face. “But only because we have a past. If we didn’t, then yeah, why not?” She swallowed. “You…you were okay…when we were together during the good times.” She lowered her eyes, choosing to study her hand.

  Ojas could her smell nervousness. Something is off with her. “Is there a compliment hidden in there somewhere?” he teased.

  “You wish.” Gina tucked her hair behind her ear. “I’m just happy that you are getting better.”

  “Thank you. I’m definitely in a better place now.” Ojas took a pause then said. “However, sometimes it still feels like something very important is missing. Isn’t that weird?” He touched his temple.

  Gina gave Ojas a closer look. He too feels that? She sighed. “I know what you mean. Everything is as perfect as it can be in under the circumstances, and then I get the feeling like something is missing in the picture. It’s weird and you can’t pin point what it is.”

  I can. It’s you! Ojas gave Gina a longing look. “It will pass. I’m sure it’s temporary.”

  Gina nodded. “I hope.”

  “Have you shared this with your friends? They might have some idea how to deal with it.”

  Gina shook her head, her expression wry. “Nope. I shall get so much advice that I could probably write a book. And there are enough trite self-help books in the market already.”

  Ojas shrugged. “Then what is one more?”

  “One too many, I would think.”

  Ojas chuckled. It was a pleasant sound. Gina cherished it. When they were together, she had loved to make Ojas laugh for he did not do it enough according to her.

  “I can’t stop thinking that if you had not been there today—”

  Ojas cut her off. “But I was. And please don’t thank me for that. You owe me nothing. You can call me twenty-four-seven if you ever need anything. I mean it, Gina.”

  Gina savored his words and took a step closer to Ojas. “If Papa is rude with you, I’m apologizing in advance.”

  Ojas waved his hand, “Don’t worry about it. If someone had done to my daughter what I did. . .” He trailed off, realizing his faux pass.

  Gina clasped her wrist. “Don’t think about it. It doesn’t help.”

  “Why are you wearing that bracelet? You weren’t at the restaurant,” Ojas asked.

  “How do you know about my brace
lets?” Gina was surprised.

  “Doyal told me.”

  “I had stopped wearing these but today, before leaving for here, I just slipped it on,” Gina confessed, moving the bracelet up and down on her wrist.

  Ojas lowered himself on the parapet and gently took her arm with the bracelet.

  Gina stiffened. Ojas was close to her. “What…” Gina glanced down. His lean and long fingers were wrapped fully around her wrist. His thumb lightly rested on the inside of her wrist, setting off sparks in Gina. Ojas’s fingers were warm with slightly callused tips. His spicy clean smell assailed her.

  Gina fought the urge to close her eyes in pleasure. “Ojas!” Her voice was husky as she pulled her wrist without any real effort. The night, the slight breeze, the solitude, and Ojas’s touch was casting a spell on Gina.

  “I don’t ever want you wearing this.” Ojas’s gaze was pained. The pressure of his fingers around her wrist increased. “I put these there and all I want is that you become your old self before you met me. Forget we ever happened and everything else associated with that. Just forget all that,” He leaned into her. “Forget me Gina!”

  Gina reacted to the hurt in his voice. Reflexively, she climbed a step and placed her hand on Ojas’ chest. “Stop! I’m much better. We both are doing much better.” She felt his muscled torso under his hand but more than that, she felt like she was touching someone she knew. Her fingers curled slightly in the warmth of Ojas’s chest. Gina’s breath wasn’t as steady as it was few minutes ago and her knees felt like they were made of melted chocolate.