by Amy Clipston
“So you’re afraid to learn a new trade?” Jerry snorted. “Do you think I knew anything about being a plumber when I first went to work for mei onkel? Now I’m his assistant manager and working my way up to being his partner. You might like a career change.”
“This farm has been in my family for generations. How can I walk away from that?” Ephraim demanded.
“Darlene and her family moved in, and Uria can help run the farm now,” Chris said as he sat down beside Jerry. “It’s okay to learn a new trade, Ephraim. It’s all about finding stability for you and Mandy, and from what I hear, considering what might be best for your parents and older schweschder and her family too. Besides, you could take over her dat’s business someday. He has two dochdern, and you’ll be his first sohn.”
“He’s right.” Wayne shrugged. “You need to think about what you’re gaining, not what you’re losing.”
“That’s enough.” Ephraim threw down his tool. “I didn’t come here today for a lecture. I came here to work on this shed.”
“And you wanted to see your ex-fiancée,” Wayne muttered.
Ephraim spun and kicked the side of the shed, sending searing pain radiating from his toe up to his shin. “I didn’t know she’d be here today.”
“I don’t think breaking your foot is going to fix things between you and Mandy,” Wayne quipped.
“He’s right, Ephraim,” Jerry added. “You need to relax.”
“Can we please fix these shed doors and stop analyzing my life?” He needed them to stop bugging him. How could he share the truth? He was afraid Mandy just didn’t love him enough to live on the farm with him, that she didn’t think he was worth what she considered a sacrifice. He didn’t want to admit how much that possibility hurt.
“Fine, fine.” Jerry picked up a hammer. “Let’s give Ephraim a break.”
As Ephraim turned his attention to the shed, his mind spun with his friends’ words and unsolicited advice. He looked toward the house and imagined Mandy sitting at the kitchen table, telling her friends about their breakup. Were they also giving her unsolicited advice? He tried to redirect his thoughts to the task at hand, but his mind lingered on Mandy and the pain he’d seen in her eyes this morning. Did she miss him as much as he missed her?
Then why wouldn’t she just agree that their original plan to marry in December and live with his family was best?
He shoved away the thoughts. She was the one who wanted to change their plans. This breakup was her fault.
Still, his heart yearned for her.
“Do you need a ride home?” Katie Ann asked Mandy as they pulled on their coats that afternoon.
“Ya, I guess so. It would save me some money.” Mandy buttoned her coat. “Mei dat paid his driver to drop me off since he needed his horse and buggy today.”
“You can ride with Chris and me.” Katie Ann gestured for Mandy to follow her.
Mandy said good-bye to Emma, Clara, and Tena and then headed outside with Katie Ann. As they walked down the path to the waiting buggies, Mandy slowed her steps when she spotted Ephraim standing with Chris, remembering how uncomfortable he’d made everyone feel as they all gathered around Emma’s table for lunch.
“It’s okay.” Katie Ann took Mandy’s arm and guided her toward the buggy. “You don’t have to feel awkward around him.”
Mandy walked over to Chris’s buggy and climbed into the back.
“I’ll see you later,” Chris told Ephraim.
“All right.” Ephraim hesitated, but then he looked into the buggy.
Mandy sucked in a breath as she took in his stoic expression. She lifted her hand to wave to him.
With a frown, Ephraim nodded at her and then walked to his own horse and buggy.
Mandy released the breath she’d been holding and then settled into the back of the buggy as Katie Ann and Chris climbed onto the bench seat in front of her.
As Chris guided the buggy toward the road, she hugged her arms to her chest and recalled her conversation with her friends while they finished canning the vegetables. While they had all offered her kind encouragement and told her to pray and ask God to guide her heart, their words felt empty of hope. Of course she would pray, but she still felt like a third wheel sitting in the back of her best friend’s buggy while her ex-fiancé rode home alone. And Ephraim showed no signs of wanting to talk.
Holding back tears, Mandy closed her eyes and asked God to somehow heal their broken relationship. She couldn’t do it by herself.
CHAPTER 6
As conversations swirled around him at the breakfast table Saturday morning, Ephraim scooped home fries onto his plate and then forked a few into his mouth.
“Onkel Ephraim?”
He looked to his left, where Rebekah sat. “Ya?”
“Do you like potatoes?”
“I do.” He couldn’t stop a grin as he pointed to his plate. “This is my second pile of home fries.”
“Oh.” Rebekah scrunched her nose and then looked back at her eggs.
“Why do you look so disgusted?” he asked.
“Savannah says home fries are gross because potatoes grow in the ground and are dirty,” Rebekah said.
“I didn’t say that!” Savannah exclaimed from across the table.
“Savannah!” Darlene scolded. “No yelling in the haus.”
“I never said that,” Savannah hissed.
“Ya, you did,” Rebekah retorted.
“You know, your mammi washes the potatoes before she makes the home fries, so the potatoes aren’t dirty when we eat them.” Ephraim tried in vain to hide his smile.
“Oh.” Rebekah tapped her finger against her chin as she considered this. “So they aren’t yucky when you eat them?”
“No, they aren’t.” Ephraim scooped another mouthful onto his fork.
“May I please have some?” Rebekah pushed her plate toward Ephraim.
“Of course.” Ephraim shifted some onto her plate and then smiled at Darlene.
“Maed.” Darlene rolled her eyes and then smiled at Uria.
Ephraim stopped chewing as he watched his older sister and brother-in-law grin at each other. The adoration sparking between them stole his breath for a moment. Could he have had that same deep love and affection in marriage with Mandy? The thought felt like a bucket of frigid water drenching him after a long, hot shower.
He turned his attention to his nieces. Would he and Mandy have had children? Would they have had daughters who were as beautiful as Mandy with her golden hair and stunning blue eyes? The potatoes soured in his mouth. How could he have let her slip through his fingers?
“Ephraim, are you going to Emma’s today?” Katie Ann’s question cut through his thoughts and swelling regret.
“Maybe later.” He lifted his glass of orange juice. “I have chores to do first.”
“Chris is going to pick me up in about an hour,” Katie Ann said. “Maybe I’ll see you there.”
Ephraim nodded. Part of him wanted to avoid Emma’s so he didn’t have to see Mandy, but another part of him wanted to go to Emma’s every day to sneak a glimpse at Mandy. When would he stop feeling so confused?
When he was finished with his meal, he carried his dishes to the counter. Then he pulled on his hat, coat, and boots in the mudroom and headed out to the barn.
He did his best to push thoughts of Mandy out of his head as he began to muck the horse stalls, but her gorgeous smile crept back in. The muscles in his arms and back burned as he worked harder and harder, trying to erase her from his mind’s eye. But she lingered there, taunting him as he raked with all his strength.
“You’re going to break that pitchfork in half.”
Ephraim turned and found his father standing at the end of the stall. He leaned the pitchfork against the wall and swiped his sleeve over his sweaty brow.
“How are you?” Dat’s dark eyes seemed to study him.
“I’m okay.” Ephraim shrugged and picked up the pitchfork again. “I have a lot of work to
do.”
“Do you miss her?” Dat’s question caught him off guard.
Ephraim froze. Was it that obvious? He returned to work in hopes his father would walk away.
“If you do, maybe you should try talking to her.”
Ephraim stopped working and looked at his father. “I’ve tried talking to her, but we want different things.”
“That’s the thing about marriage,” Dat began as he leaned on the stall door. “It only works if you compromise.”
“We’re not married.” Ephraim shook his head.
“And you never will be if you don’t start thinking like a couple.”
“What does that mean?”
“When you marry, you become one, but you can’t behave as if you’re not. Take a step back and think about her point of view. Be careful not to jump to any conclusions about her intentions. Your mamm told me you’re afraid Mandy doesn’t want to be a farmer’s fraa. You could be completely wrong about that. Don’t fall into the trap of projecting your insecurities onto her. You need to talk this out.”
Dat tapped the stall door. “Let me know if you want to talk more about it.”
Ephraim watched his father walk away as his words marinated in his mind. Maybe he had misinterpreted Mandy’s reasons for suggesting they change their plans. He did owe it to her to try to talk this out, but what if her words just hurt him more? He was still reeling from their last discussion.
His father made it sound so easy, but how could Ephraim even consider just walking away from his family’s legacy and starting a new life when it felt so wrong?
Still, he couldn’t deny that he missed Mandy, and as much as he tried, he couldn’t erase her beautiful face from his mind.
Mandy searched her bedroom as panic dug into her shoulders. Where was her purse? She’d seen it just last night, but it wasn’t on her dresser where she always left it. She looked on the floor, under her bed, and on her windowsill. Had she left it downstairs somewhere?
She stepped out into the hallway and into the sewing room, where she spotted her purse on the sewing table. She didn’t even recall walking in here yesterday. When she crossed the room and picked up her purse, her eyes focused on the half-finished, baby-blue dress on the table. She froze, cemented in place.
Her wedding dress.
Tears stung her eyes as she ran her fingers over the material. Beside it was a bolt of material to make the dress for Rhoda.
But now the dresses would never be finished. The wedding would never happen.
Mandy wiped away a tear. How she missed Ephraim. She missed his smile, his boisterous laugh, their long talks, their friendship.
“Is there anything I can do to fix it?” She whispered the question as if someone would answer.
Then an idea sparked in her brain. What if she took his favorite cookies—peanut butter—to Emma’s today? If he came, she could use them to try to encourage him to talk to her. She’d baked some last night. Baking seemed to be her only solace during this unending and unbearable heartbreak.
Had she subconsciously made the peanut butter cookies because she missed him? Probably.
“Mandy!” Mamm’s voice sounded from downstairs. “Katie Ann is here!”
“Coming!” Mandy touched the dress one last time, and then she hurried down to the kitchen, where she said hello to her friend.
After she grabbed the container of peanut butter cookies and put on her coat, she and Katie Ann stepped outside and she climbed into the back of Chris’s buggy.
“Danki for picking me up,” Mandy told Chris after she was settled.
“Gern gschehne,” Chris said.
Katie Ann turned around and pointed to the container. “What are those?”
“Kichlin.”
“What kind?”
“Peanut butter.”
“Oh. Are they for mei bruder?”
“Maybe.” Mandy tried to sound casual. “How is he?”
“Grumpy and mopey.” Katie Ann rolled her eyes. “It’s so obvious he misses you. If he wasn’t so stubborn, you’d be back together already.”
Mandy hugged the cookies to her chest. Would they be enough to encourage him to talk through their problems so they could work out a compromise?
“How are you doing, Mandy?” Chris asked.
“I’m getting by. I’m baking a lot.” Mandy ran her fingers over the top of the container. “Mei mamm said we should open a bake stand at the haus.” She gave a little laugh, but it didn’t warm her troubled soul.
“Don’t give up on Ephraim, okay?” Chris asked.
Mandy nodded.
“We’re all working on him,” Chris continued.
“You are?” Mandy leaned forward. “What do you mean?”
“Just trust us.” Katie Ann smiled at her.
Ephraim leaned on Emma’s fence as Jerry told him and Wayne about a plumbing job at a rich Englisher’s house. When a horse and buggy appeared in the driveway, Ephraim stood up straight, and his pulse picked up.
Chris and Katie Ann climbed out, and then Mandy did before turning and removing a large container from the back seat. As she and Katie Ann walked toward the house, Ephraim admired her from afar. He’d always enjoyed seeing her in blue.
Mandy turned toward him, smiled, and lifted her hand in a wave. His heartbeat thumped as he returned the gesture before she disappeared into the house.
“Why don’t you go talk to her instead of staring at her like a stalker?” Wayne gave Ephraim a shove.
“Why don’t you mind your own business?”
“Who are you trying to kid?” Jerry chimed in. “You still love her, and you miss her. So why are you standing here with us?”
Ephraim scowled. “Why don’t you worry about your own relationship?”
“Give it a rest, Blank,” Chris added as he came to stand with the rest of them. “Just go talk to Mandy. We’re all tired of your moods.”
Ephraim divided a look among his friends as they all pointed toward the house. He hated to admit it, but maybe they were right. Perhaps it was time to talk through their problems. “Fine.”
They applauded as he walked toward the house, and Ephraim rolled his eyes. Despite the cold weather, his hands began to sweat. What if Mandy refused to talk to him? But she’d waved and smiled at him just now, so that was a good sign. She must still care for him.
Ephraim squared his shoulders as he entered the kitchen, where Mandy stood with Clara and Tena. Her friends turned to look at him, and their eyes rounded.
“Tena,” Clara said, “why don’t we set up the stand?” They both gripped the handles of two big bags of apples.
“Gut idea.” Tena hurried out the back door with Clara close behind.
He glanced at the table, where Katie Ann and Emma weren’t even pretending they weren’t watching him. Mandy picked up the container he’d seen her carrying and held it up to him. “I brought peanut butter kichlin.”
“You did?” Warmth filled his chest as he walked over to her.
Mandy nodded. “Your favorite.”
“Do you mean you made them for me?”
“Ya, I guess so.” She removed the lid. “Try one.”
“Danki.” He took a cookie, and when their hands brushed, he felt electricity spark in the air around them. It suddenly felt as if they were the only two people in the room. He lost himself in the depth of her blue eyes as he bit into the cookie and savored the sweet peanut-buttery taste.
“Do you like them?” Mandy’s expression seemed hopeful.
He nodded as he swallowed. “Ya, I do. Can we talk?” He heard the thread of hope in his voice.
Her eyes glistened, and she nodded toward the doorway. “Let’s go into the schtupp.”
Mandy set the container of cookies on the counter, and she and Katie Ann shared a knowing look before they headed out of the room. Were Mandy and his younger sister planning something? The thought sent suspicion curling through him.
He followed Mandy into the family room, where Hank
slept curled up in a ball on what used to be Henry’s chair. Ephraim shook his head at the cat and then sat down on the sofa.
Mandy lowered herself into a chair across from him. “How’s your family?”
“Okay.” Ephraim shrugged. “I guess we’re all getting used to each other. I have to make a strategic plan to get into the bathroom first in the morning.” He gave her a sheepish grin, and she laughed. How he’d missed that sweet lilt. “How are you?”
“I’m surviving.” She folded her hands in her lap. “I miss you. I miss us.”
“Can’t we make this work?” He leaned forward. “We could still get married in December.”
Her expression changed. She’d seemed so open, but now she looked . . . determined.
“No. December is still too soon. I walked into the sewing room this morning, and I saw my wedding dress. It’s not even half done. I’ve been telling you I don’t have time. Why won’t you believe me?”
“I’ll get you help. And mei dat thinks Darlene and her family will be in their haus by late spring. The haus would be crowded only for a few months.”
“Ephraim, you’re not listening to me.”
All his hope dissolved as he stared at her. “So you miss me, but you’re not willing to compromise?”
She pointed to her chest. “I’m not willing to compromise?” Then she pointed at him. “No, you’re the one who isn’t willing to compromise. You’re just saying we should follow through with the original plan. You won’t even consider how I feel and my proposals for our future. You’re the one who’s stubborn and stuck on only one plan.”
He stood. She didn’t love him. At least not enough. “This is a waste of time.”
“Really, Ephraim?” She stood and jammed her hands on her small hips. “That’s how you see me? I’m a waste of time? Do you even love me?”
“Does it matter?” he said, challenging her.
“Ya, it does matter.” She lifted her chin. “I want to marry you and build a life together, but you’re too obstinate to even consider delaying the wedding, let alone my other suggestions. This can never work if you don’t respect my opinions.”