Forever Logan

by Elena Matthews

  That shocks him, and his eyes double in size. “Wait, what? A month! Does Nate know?”

  I shake my head. “No, neither does Remi.”

  He roars out with laughter. “Hot damn, I can’t believe you actually got her to stop hating you. How did you do that?”

  Tilting my head to the side, I say, “With a lot of determination, I’ll tell you that. But she’s worth it.”

  “But you argue all the time. You were arguing just before.”

  “No, we don’t argue; we bicker. And lately, a lot of that has just been for show,” I admit.

  “Why keep it a secret? She’s great, and you’re lucky to have scored a gem like that. I’m surprised you’re not shouting it from the rooftops; you’ve been obsessed with her since day one.”

  “We just wanted to see where it could go without people’s judgment. Also, with Nate’s wedding’s so close, we didn’t want to steal any limelight. We’re planning on telling everyone after the wedding.”

  He shakes his head, chuckling. “I still can’t believe it.”

  “You can’t believe what?” my sister asks as she rounds the corner.

  She’s without Chase, and seeing her in only a tank top, I’m guessing she finally got tired of the couple’s sweater.

  Blake’s eyes light up at the sight of Kaelyn, and before I have a chance to tell him not to tell her, he blurts out, “That Logan is in love.”

  Kaelyn’s eyes flash to mine in shock. “What? With who?”

  Blake answers for me, “A gorgeous brunette who came dressed as a present tonight and who I just saw leave his room thirty seconds before he did.”

  “Ally?” she screeches loudly, pure excitement in her voice. “Oh my God!” She smacks me in the chest. “Since when?”

  “Since a month ago,” Blake answers again for me.

  I shoot him a glare. “Blake!” I yell.

  “A month! Holy crap,” Kaelyn exclaims. “You haven’t been with a woman longer than a week. This must be serious. You know,” she begins pointedly, “I’ve always had a vibe about you two…a sexy enemies-to-lovers vibe. So, how did it happen? Did you lure her in with your sexuality, or did all the tension from the constant arguing just get to her and she jumped your bones in a sudden rush of passion?” she asks with gentle longing to her voice.

  I stare at her in disbelief. “Jesus, you read too much romance. No, it didn’t happen like that.”

  “Well, how did it happen then?”

  Realizing they won’t stop badgering me if I don’t give them some information, I say, “I just showed her my worth and that I’m more than just my looks.”

  They both just silently look at each other. Then, a second later, they burst out laughing.

  “What a load of crap,” Blake says, bending over in stitches.

  “I’m being serious, jackass,” I say to Blake. Then, I look to my sister. “It’s different with her. I’m different. I’m in love with her. She’s who I see spending the rest of my life with.”

  Her eyes soften at that, and her laughter fades. Then, she turns into a proud big sister, and let me tell you, a proud big sister is an embarrassing sister.

  Hand to her heart, she says, “Oh my God, it’s happened. My baby brother has finally grown up.”

  She flings herself at me, hugging me tight. After a few seconds, I manage to push her off me.

  “Jeez, get off me, woman,” I complain, taking a step back just as Jace turns the corner.

  Oh great, another one of my siblings. These are the times I wish I were an only child.

  He groans at the sight of us. “Damn, is there a line for the bathroom? I’m dying to take a piss.”

  I shake my head. “No, there is no line. Just an inquisition into my love life.”

  “What are you talking about?” he asks as he approaches.

  Before I have any say, they both say in unison, “Logan’s in love with Ally.”

  He doesn’t even flinch at that. “Tell me something I don’t know. The kid’s been obsessed with her since he met her.”

  “Yeah, but it seems the feeling is mutual. I just saw them getting freaky in his old bedroom,” Blake tells Jace.

  Jace’s eyes light up. “Wait, what?”

  “Correction: you just saw us leave the bedroom; you didn’t see anything freaky.”

  “But you were doing something freaky, right?” Kaelyn prods, smiling like a crazy person.

  Being cornered by my siblings in the hallway of my parents’ house is not my idea of a good time, especially siblings who have been drinking mistletoe margaritas.

  “You know, I’m not even talking to you guys anymore.”

  Suddenly, Jace starts to bust a gut and points his finger at Blake. “You’d better cough it up.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  I frown, just as confused as Blake.

  “Your precious car. On Nate and Remi’s engagement night, you made a bet that if Logan could make Ally fall in love with him before their wedding, you’d give him your car and…well, Logan made it happen.”

  Suddenly, it all clicks. And though I was never serious about that bet, the look of horror on Blake’s face is way too funny right now.

  “Well…shit,” is all he says while Jace and I snicker.

  Kaelyn, on the other hand, looks furious with us. “You guys made a bet? That’s fucking stupid and so insulting to Ally. You’re all idiots,” she tells us.

  “But a bet’s a bet, right?” Jace tells Blake, ignoring Kaelyn.

  Blake shakes his head in defeat. “I can’t believe you actually got her to fall in love with you, but I am a man of my word.” He digs into his front pocket, taking out his keys. He pulls the key fob from its chain and throws it to me. I catch it as he says, “Two women for the price of one.”

  I try to hand the key fob back to him. “Dude, I wasn’t being serious when we made that bet. God, I never expected I’d land a woman like her in a million years. I was just messing with you. I don’t want your car.”

  He doesn’t take it back from me. “No, Jace is right. A bet is a bet. You won it fair and square.”

  Just as I’m about to tell him he’s being ridiculous, the sound of Ally’s voice from behind us stills me, and my blood turns cold.

  “You bet you’d win your brother’s car if you made me fall in love with you?” The sound of disdain and disgust in her voice makes my heart drop to my stomach.

  I turn around to face her and walk toward her. “I swear, it isn’t what it sounds like.”

  “No?” she questions, staring at me with a new hatred I’ve never seen with her, even when she despised me. “Well, to me, it sounds like you’re a piece of shit,” she says while pulling off the bracelet I got her and launching it at my face before spinning on her feet and rushing away from me.

  Chucking the key fob back at Blake, I race after Ally but not before grabbing her bracelet from the floor.

  “Ally!” I shout after her as I get to the bottom of the stairs, following her toward the kitchen. “Ally,” I repeat as I see her grabbing her purse from where Remi and Nate are standing at the kitchen island.

  “Ally, please let me explain.” I go to touch her arm, but she shoves me off her.

  Ignoring me, she turns to Remi. “I need to go.”

  “Hey, what’s going on?” Nate asks.

  She twists her face as she glares at my twin. “What’s going on is that your brother is an asshole!”

  Immediately, all eyes go to me, and Nate pins his focus on me. “What’ve you done now?” He asks the question like we’re just having another one of our spats, but this is more than just bickering.

  I’ve truly gone and upset her because I’m an idiot.

  “Did you know he made a bet with Blake? That if he made me fall in love with him, he’d get Blake’s precious Porsche?”

  “What? No! I had no idea.” Nate glares over at me. “What the fuck, Logan? Is this true?”

  Ignoring Nate, I turn my attention to Ally. �
�Can we please talk about this alone? I swear, it wasn’t a real bet. It was just two brothers messing around. Please let me explain.”

  “Why should I?” she asks defiantly, her bottom lip trembling with anger.

  “Because I love you and not because of some bet,” I say, not caring that I’ve essentially just let the cat out of the bag. I don’t give a shit though. I don’t care who knows about us. I don’t care if I piss my brother and Remi off and somehow steal the limelight off their special day. All that matters is Ally.

  She lets her arms drop and looks at me with a sad expression.

  “Ally, what’s going on?” Remi asks, turning to her.

  “I’ll explain everything to you later,” she tells her best friend before she refocuses her attention on me. “Fine, let’s head out back.”

  I follow her through the patio doors to the backyard, and we head to a bench that my parents have at the far end of the garden, twinkly lights surrounding us.

  “Talk then,” she demands as soon as we sit down, the chill from outside giving me goose bumps.

  “It was only a stupid bet, I swear. I actually forgot about it until Jace brought it up, but it wasn’t ever serious. They both know I’ve been crazy about you since the moment I met you, and they never believed anything could ever happen between us. So, Blake said he’d bet his car if I actually got you to fall in love with me, and yes, I wanted to prove to him I had a shot with a girl like you but not because I wanted to win his stupid car. Do you really think I’m that shallow?”

  She shrugs her shoulders. “Honestly, I don’t know what to think. I just don’t get why you’d make a bet anyway even if you were just messing around. I mean, how old are you?”

  “It was just brothers being brothers, and you know, guys do stupid shit. I don’t know why; we just do. We’re idiots.”

  “It wasn’t just the bet. It was also the fact that you were talking to your entire family about me, like you were bragging. I mean, I thought we agreed not to tell anybody.”

  I pivot my body even closer to hers and look her dead in the eye. “I don’t know how much you heard, but I wasn’t bragging, I promise. I didn’t tell them. Blake saw us coming out of my bedroom. Then, Kaelyn came upstairs, followed by Jace, and Blake couldn’t keep his big mouth shut.”

  “But you had the key fob in your hand. To me, it seemed like you were cashing in your prize.”

  “I wasn’t. He just threw it at me. I promise you, being with you wasn’t because of some car.”

  “But how can I be with someone who treats me like an object in some pathetic bet with his brother?”

  “I know, and I’m sorry. It was childish, but I was never serious about it. God, if it’s between you and a car, baby, you will always win.”

  “But that’s the thing; it should never have to be me and some fucking car even if it’s just a joke. I’m a human being, for Christ’s sake, a human being who had reservations about being with you in the first place. You’ve spent these past few months trying to show me you’re a different guy, but the old you keeps seeping through. You have no idea how much I have risked, letting you into my heart, by falling in love with you. You know, maybe you’re just not ready for a grown-up relationship, and that’s fine. I just wish you had told me, so I didn’t waste my time with you.”

  “Waste your time with me? What does that even mean?” I ask, confused.

  “I shouldn’t have to spell it out for you.”

  I shake my head. “No, I think you need to.”

  “You say you want what I want, but maybe you haven’t finished sowing your wild oats. Maybe you never will. I just wish you hadn’t made me fall in love with you, only so I’d realize that you’re obviously not ready to be in a serious relationship yet.”

  I rack my brain for a moment, trying to understand where she got me making a stupid bet with Blake with not wanting to be serious with her. When I’m not able to connect the dots, I get really frustrated.

  Fuck, why are women so infuriating!

  “When have I ever said I’m not ready to be in a serious relationship with you? You are the first woman I have ever said I love you to. If that doesn’t prove that I’m serious about being with you, then I don’t know what does.”

  “That’s the thing, Logan. I don’t want to be your first. I want to be your last.”

  “Who says you can’t be both?” I argue back.

  “Because I don’t think someone like you can miraculously change overnight because he falls in love with the first girl who didn’t drop her panties for him from the get-go.”

  Now, I go from being frustrated to downright pissed.

  “You know, Remi is Nate’s first love, and look at them. They’re getting married in a matter of weeks! Why can’t we have what they have, huh? Why are you suddenly trying to sabotage us?”

  “I’m not the one trying to sabotage us. I’m not the one who thought it was a great idea to place a bet where you won yourself a shiny new car if you bagged the woman who hated you!”

  Tears are starting to well up in her eyes, but seeing them only angers me more.

  “I’ve already told you, I’m sorry for that, that it was just a joke,” I say with gritted teeth.

  “But it wasn’t funny, Logan! How can I believe anything between us was real if that’s how you conduct yourself?”

  Feeling a tight pressure in my chest with the anxiety of this argument, I stand up, and I let my anger really show.

  “If you have to question the authenticity of our relationship and how I feel about you, how I actually think about more than just sex with you, buying you a cheap-ass bracelet because I’m hopelessly in love with you”—I take said bracelet from out of my pocket and throw it out on the lawn, letting my fury get the best of me—“then maybe we really don’t have a future. I am so sick of having to prove my worth to you. I got it at the beginning; we didn’t start out with the best of terms, and I was okay with that. I was willing to do what it took to make you see me for the real me without the idiot persona I’d had when it came to all the chicks before you. I was a douche bag, I was a player, and I definitely wasn’t a gentleman. But when I met you, I knew you were unlike anybody else, and I wanted to be worthy of you. You made me realize that I wanted to settle down, that I didn’t want to live the bachelor lifestyle anymore.”

  “But, Logan—” she tries to interrupt, but I pierce her with my eyes, filled with determination.

  “No,” I say, causing her head to snap back at my stern voice. “Let me say my piece. You made me want more, and you made me want to be better, but just when I feel like I’ve shown you my worth, you throw my past in my face every chance you get. I give you my all, and I might not be perfect, but I know wholeheartedly that I would always treat you like a princess…yet when I do, I feel like the peasant and not the prince. Like I’m not good enough for you. But this is me,” I say, holding my hands out in front of me in a big swoop. “I’m not perfect, I’m not an angel, and I’m certainly not God’s gift to women in the way I always thought I was, but I’m also honest, loyal, a good cop, and the best damn friend anyone could ever have. If that’s not good enough for you, then I’m sorry, but I have nothing else left to give you.”

  The anger I began with slowly turns into sadness, and when I turn away from Ally, I can’t help the tears that burn at the back of my throat as my heart shatters into what feels like a million pieces. As I begin to walk away, I almost still in my steps as I hear a sob come from her, but I keep strong and continue in my direction back into the house. As I enter the kitchen, Nate is the first person in my face with anger reddening his cheeks.

  “You want to tell me what the hell that was all about?”

  I shake my head. “No, not right now.”

  I try to move past him, but he doesn’t let me. Instead, he grabs my shoulder and forces me to turn around to him.

  “Don’t walk away from me, Logan. Ally is important to Remi, and when you upset Ally, you upset Remi, and then you upset me
. So, I want you to talk to me.”

  “You want me to talk, huh?” I snap, my voice trembling with pure rage. “Okay, I’ll give you the short version. I made a stupid bet with Blake when I thought I’d never get with a girl like Ally in a million years. Then, when I totally forgot about the bet, miraculously, after constantly showing Ally my worth, she actually warmed to me. We fell hopelessly in love, but for some goddamn reason, she can only see the old me, never believing my love for her is genuine, always doubting my integrity. She is currently outside, crying, because I’m fairly certain we just ended things, though who knows if we were even in a relationship to begin with. So, instead of being so concerned for her, how about you give some thought for me? My heart is fucking breaking right now.” My voice cracks, and I have to literally swallow the sorrow back down my throat. “And as my twin, I shouldn’t have to tell you that; you should have already felt it.”

  The anger I could see on his face has melted away, and now, worry lines crease his forehead. “Logan, I had no idea.”

  “No, you didn’t, and you want to know why you didn’t know?”

  Nate just shakes his head, not offering a reply.

  “Because as your best man and Remi’s maid of honor, we didn’t want to tell you until after your precious wedding. We didn’t want to do anything to steal the limelight off you. But now, there is no danger of that happening. So, if you will excuse me, I need to find Ally’s dad and tell him his daughter is outside, crying, because he was the only person who saw me for who I really was, the person who gave me his blessing to make Ally happy again. Unfortunately, for both him and me, Ally will never let me because I’m just not worthy of her.” My words at this point are so monotone, I almost don’t recognize my own voice. I don’t know where all this darkness has come from, but it’s like a boulder dragging me down to the bottom of the murkiest of places. I don’t like it, yet I have no control over it.

  I don’t wait for him to say anything; I push past him and go in search of Ally’s parents. I find them in the basement, talking to a few of my dad’s friends. Dave’s eyes light up as soon as he sees me, but he must sense my turmoil because he stands to his feet, worry on his face.