by Parker, Ali
He had to be doing it for her.
"Did Krista often miss her medication? I mean, someone with a tendency to go off the deep end and stab someone multiple times in the chest if she didn't take her meds would most likely make sure she stayed on a schedule, right?"
"Leading the witness." Krista's lawyer stood, and Bethany shifted her eyes over to her old friend.
The woman that sat slumped over with tears running down her face wasn't the girl Bethany knew. She was broken because of all that had happened. Bethany turned her attention to Jake, only to find him crying as well.
"I retract the statement. Let me rephrase it."
Bethany forced herself to pay attention. The trial would be over soon, and Krista would get the help she needed, and Jake would fully recover. The horrible event would forever be a part of their past, but everyone would move on.
We have to.
Bethany was dismissed much to her relief. She walked back toward the row where Damon and Kendal sat and moved in to sit between them again.
"Great job." Damon kissed the side of her head, surprising her a little. Too bad she didn't have the emotional energy to make more out of it than she needed to.
"Yeah, thanks to you calming me down." She glanced up at him, letting her eyes linger on his lips a little too long. Why was lust so easily resurrected in the midst of tragedy? It was almost as if she were searching for something to warm herself against, and he was the perfect fire in the middle of the darkness around them.
"That's funny." Kendal leaned around Bethany. "I've never heard a woman use calm and you in the same sentence."
"I kinda like it." Damon smirked and glanced back up at the front. "I can be many things."
Can you be mine again? Bethany forced herself to pull her attention from the handsome man beside her and turned back up toward the front as Kendal was called to the stand next. Funny how quickly true tragedy could put everything into its proper place. Damon wasn't the enemy that she was fighting against.
Their past demons were.
Chapter 89
Damon
"God, that sucked," Kendal muttered as they walked out of the courtroom.
Damon put his hand on Kendal's shoulder and moved his best friend to the side of the hallway to get them out of the rush of the crowd. Bethany wanted a moment to talk with Jake and hopefully see Krista. Damon offered to go with her, but she needed a few minutes to herself. He could respect that.
"No shit." He glanced around and turned his attention back to Kendal. "Do you need me to do anything else for the funeral tomorrow?"
"No, and honestly, not to be a dick, but I need some time at home by myself tonight. I appreciate you being with me for the last few days, but I need to mourn the loss of my sister, Damon. My heart hurts so goddamn bad, but I've been trying to hold it in because you're all up in my grill."
Damon smirked. "All right, bro. I'll take you back to your place and leave you be for the night."
Kendal nodded and lifted his lips in a sad smile as he glanced over Damon's shoulder. "I think you being here is going to melt her heart faster than anything else you could have done."
Damon turned to see Beth looking for them. Her long brown hair played around her shoulders, and the innocent look on her face had his cock twitching in his slacks. They wouldn't be getting naked anytime soon from the look of things, but he was okay with that. She was out searching for a new man to warm her bed, and he wasn't willing to let his old fears steal his focus on being the kind of man she wanted, the one she needed.
How many times had she mentioned him using sex as the cure all? Sadly enough, he had. For him, it was healing when it was with her. Being one with her left him whole again and feeling like he could conquer the world. She didn't feel the same about it. Until she did, he was backing off as best as he could.
"Good. I miss her so fucking bad," Damon whispered and walked toward his woman. "Beth. Over here."
"Sorry." She walked toward him and shook her head. "They're both a hot mess. I completely get it, but my chest hurts because of it. I wish I could take it from both of them."
"It's going to get better." Damon reached out and ran his hands down her lithe arms. "I'm going to drive Kendal back to his place and then go home and take a quick shower. You're still willing to have me for dinner tonight, right?"
Her cheeks colored pink, and he realized that his choice of words could be taken in several ways. The fact that she might be thinking about taking her time with his lower half left his body aching for her.
"Dinner sounds good," she whispered as she glanced down toward her shoes. "We're talking about us tonight though. If you're not up for that-"
"I am." He pressed his fingers under her chin and forced her to look back up at him. "I want to get everything out in the open and figure out where we are, Beth. I need to. You do too, baby."
She nodded and moved toward him, lifting to her toes and kissing his cheek softly. "See you around seven."
He turned and watched her go as his pulse spiked. "How am I supposed to get through a night of dinner and talking without thinking about seducing her? She's so damn hot. I swear she's the only girl that can turn me on by talking about washing dishes and having babies."
Kendal snorted, showing signs of life for the first time in days. "Then you know she's the one for you. Just be yourself tonight, man. If you want to seduce her and the moment is right, then go for it. Beth doesn't want a cardboard cutout of the man you were. She's not asking you to change everything, bro. Just the things that hurt her. Ask what they are and promise to work on them."
"Yeah." He pressed his teeth into his bottom lip as she glanced over her shoulder at him. She walked out of the courthouse and left him staring after her. "I'm not sure I can keep my hands off of her, but maybe it's foolish to try. I don't want to change who I am, but I can work on changing a few things or at least explaining myself a little, right?"
"Exactly. Get me home and go get the girl, bro."
"What about you?" Damon turned and wrapped his arm around Kendal's shoulders as they walked toward the exit door. "You going to think about what I said about Dana?"
"I don't know, Damon. It's not as simple as you think. She could drop the class, yeah, but she's still a student at UT."
"But why does-" Damon started, but Kendal cut him off mid-sentence.
"I don't wanna talk about this right now. I have to bury my baby sister tomorrow. I want to dive into the agony of that and honor Mandy as best I can with my speech tomorrow. We can talk about Dana after I figure out how to get out of my funk, okay?"
Damon nodded, wanting so badly to push the fact that Dana was most likely the best way to get out of his funk, but it wasn't the time. Just like he was going to have to do with Beth later that night, Damon needed to be himself with Kendal and yet tread lightly enough that his old friend wouldn't feel threatened.
They got in the car and drove in silence back out to Kendal's apartment. Damon parked the car and turned to face his oldest friend.
"I'm here if you need me."
Kendal nodded. "I know. I'll see you tomorrow. Go love on Bethany and remember, she fell in love with the real you. Nothing else. No one else. Fix this by being authentic, okay?"
"Yeah. Thanks, man." Damon let his head drop back as Kendal waved and got out of the car. How in the world would he ever make it through losing someone like Kendal had without a relationship like him and Beth were capable of having?
Simple. He wouldn't.
* * *
He parked outside of the apartments on campus and turned the car off. The need to sit in the darkness and gather his thoughts was a new sensation. He was so used to rushing into things like a bull in a china shop and getting his way. No matter what it was, or who it was, if he wanted it, it was going to be his. Where he wasn't sure he could change that about himself, he hoped like hell he could at least try and soften it a little bit.
Getting out of the car, he grabbed the single red rose he'd picked
up on his way over to get Beth and walked toward her apartment.
He knocked on the door and took a step back as she opened it.
The blue dress she wore fit her like a glove, the top tight and accentuating just how big her breasts were, and the bottom flaring out and forcing him to pay homage to her beautiful legs.
"Wow," he whispered roughly. "I'm not sure how you keep getting more and more stunning, but you do."
"Thanks." She stepped outside the apartment and closed the door. "Is this for me?"
He handed her the rose and leaned down to kiss the tip of her nose. "Yeah. It's to apologize for when I stop behaving like a gentleman and slip back into being the alpha male that fucked you on top of your desk like you wanted."
She smiled, and he knew he was safe just to be himself.
"I wanted you to do that? I don't think so." She turned and locked the door, and he stepped closer and breathed in deeply, taking the scent of her deep into his lungs.
A soft yelp left her as she turned and bumped into him.
"I think you did." He smiled down at her and moved back before offering his hand. "I have everything for us to make pasta from scratch out at the house. You good with going back to my place?"
"Yeah, as long as you hear me clearly." She tugged at his hand. "I'm not sleeping with you tonight. The hell we've put each other through over the last month or so has to stop. I need to understand why you've done a few things you've done, and we need to figure out if we are still going to work on us, or if it's time to move on."
He tried to stop himself, but there was no use. He slipped his hand into her hair and gripped it softly as he leaned down and hovered above her.
"The answer to the last question is crystal clear in my mind, Beth. I don't want another woman in my life now, nor will I ever. We're going to work this out no matter what that looks like." He brushed his nose by hers and growled softly. "You don't have to sleep with me again until you’re ready to. I'll wait forever."
"No, you won't." She lifted to her toes and pressed her lips against his. The kiss was soft and tentative, and he left it at that. "I won't make you wait that long."
"I told you that you were the bad girl you pretend not to be." He nipped at her lips before moving back and taking her hand into his. "I get to lay some shit on the table tonight too. Understood?"
"Absolutely." There was no question in her tone. She seemed ready to lay all of their issues and problems on the table no matter how small or large they might be.
He walked her to her side of the car and opened the door for her. "My lady."
She got in and licked her lips as she smiled up at him. "What are we having for dinner besides pasta and you?"
"Not fair." He chuckled low in his chest as he walked around to the other side of the car. She might not want to sleep with him yet because it would muddy the waters and soften her, but by the end of the night, she'd be curled up beside him, his woman again if nothing else. That's all he wanted. No twisting reality or promising shit he couldn't deliver on either. He was just willing to open his heart up completely and let her poke around until she was assured of him being the right man for her.
There was no doubt in his mind that they belonged together. How things had gotten so incredibly fucked up felt like a mystery. He couldn't even put his finger on half the things that had gone wrong between them.
He got in the car and started it, glancing over at her and falling in love all over again. "Let's start the conversation part of this night now. You go first."
"All right." She buckled up and let out a long exhale as she stared out the front window. "Why did you rehire Philip? I want the truth."
"You're going to get the truth tonight. Just ask your questions, and I promise you that I'll give you nothing but honesty. You do the same for me."
"Of course." She glanced over at him.
"I hired him for several reasons. The first is that I wanted you to know that I trusted you." He started the car and pulled out of the parking lot. "The second was that I had a guilty conscience. I shouldn't have fired him in the first place. HR told me to bring him back on board the day I did it, but I needed to think it through, to make it my decision. I'm usually a reasonable guy, but something about being your man turns me into a major asshole at times when I feel threatened. Philip threatens me because he's the right kind of guy for you."
"How do you know anything about whether Philip is the guy for me? You don't know him."
"No, I don't, but I know his kind. He's a hard worker, he's respectful, and he tried to help take the blame for you punching Sadie in the face. He's a good man." Damon shrugged. "I wanted to repay that after I calmed down."
"Okay. I'm sorry that I thought it was because you wanted me to be with him."
"I wanted what?" Damon snorted loudly. "Is that a joke?"
"Watch your tone. I'm super sensitive to you right now." She jerked her head toward him, pinning him with a hard stare.
He took a slow breath through his nose and nodded. "All right. I'm sorry, I just can't believe that you would think I would want you with anyone but me."
"Why did you tell me not to wear my ring in the office?" Her voice softened a little, and he glanced over to make sure she wasn't in tears. She certainly sounded like she was headed that way.
"Because I'm an asshole."
"Damon."
"No. Wait, okay." He reached over and took her hand, holding it tightly. "I was scared that everyone at the office would give you hell for being a part of the family when you first started, and then I realized it would be way worse if we were engaged. Throw the two things together and who the fuck knows what people would say around you."
"I can take care of myself."
He stopped at a stop light and turned his attention on her, narrowing his eyes a little. "Do you think for one minute that I'm the type of man that would let you take the brunt of that shit and not do something about it?"
"No, but I-"
"No, nothing. I was worried about what might happen. If someone said something to you that was offensive or harmful, I'd likely break their damn nose myself."
"I understand." She pulled her hand from his slowly. "It just hurt me so much. I kept thinking maybe you didn't want anyone to know that I was yours because you were embarrassed."
Her voice cracking caused his heart to ache.
"Baby. I want the whole world to know that you're mine. If I knew then what I know now, I never in a million years would have asked you to take that damn ring off. The morning you left it on my nightstand felt like the world crashed in around me. I can't remember hurting that much since the night I found my mother sleeping with another man." He turned his attention back toward the front of the road and held his breath, working on not letting his emotions get the best of him.
"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you, Damon. I just couldn't see spending my life with someone that was ashamed of me, had no respect for me and worked to leave me well aware of both." She reached over and slid her hand onto his thigh. "Forgive me."
"For what? Running from the monster? I can't say that I blame you, to be honest." He pulled over on the side of the road and let out a soft sigh. Maybe he was wrong. Maybe they couldn't work things out. It sounded like she was dead set on painting him as the biggest fucking villain ever in her mind.
How in the hell could he salvage that?
Chapter 90
Bethany
I'm not the victim. He didn't do any of those things with malice or the intent that I thought he did.
Against her better judgment, she unbuckled her seat belt and moved to her knees, leaning over and wrapping her arms around his neck.
"I told you that I was struggling, that I felt like you didn't care about me. I know it's stupid now, but those are the things that kept kicking me down each time I would try to work things out with you." She pressed her face against his neck and breathed in deeply. "You're not a monster at all. I just felt like a victim, which is stupid."
"No." She turned her face toward his. "I don't want to run anymore. I just need to understand where you were coming from. You explaining it is clearing up a lot, okay?"
"My turn." He slid his hand into her hair and pulled her down for a long kiss. The soft press of his tongue against her lips left her body waking up. She'd promised herself ten times that she wouldn't let their physical attraction pull her down into worshiping him without getting clarity and clearing the air between them. If they were going to have a solid relationship, it was going to start that night. She was tired of waiting to make a decision. It was shit or get off the pot time.
She opened her mouth and moaned softly as he pressed his tongue deep into her mouth and gripped her hair with the same aggression that left her wet and aching every time he reached for her.
"I want you so fucking bad, Beth." He licked her lips and sucked her bottom lip back into his mouth. "You know that though, don't you?"
"Yes," she whispered roughly and pressed her lips back against his. He took full advantage of her going in for the kiss and ran his hands down her back and squeezed the top curve of her ass. Every part of him felt alive as she flattened her chest against his and took the fierceness of the kiss like a champ.
"Stop teasing me, or I'm going to break your promise to yourself." He brushed his nose by hers and kissed her once more before she moved back into her seat.