Mickey's Way

by Karen Clow

  Tears began welling in her eyes and she was trembling. Mickey put his arm around her and told her everything was fine and there was nothing for her to worry about so they could all go back to bed. Pulling away from him she snapped that she wasn’t going anywhere until he told her the truth! Again Mary interrupted, Mickey was right they should all try to get some sleep.

  “With all due respect Mum if you want to go back to bed that’s fine, but I’m not going anywhere until my husband tells me the truth! I am sick to death of being treated like a child! We both know something terrible has happened and I want to know what!”

  Knowing she wasn’t going to let it go, Mickey looked angry.

  “Fine babe, you really want to know I’ll tell you. I’ve just killed a man in our pool house! I put a plastic bag over his head until he went blue and his tongue popped out. There, now you know does it make you feel better?”

  Standing there momentarily rendered speechless, she looked at him in disbelief and asked what man.

  “One of the bastards who took the kids!”

  At that point his parents thought they should leave them to it and went up to bed.

  After they left, Mickey asked if she was alright.

  “No, I’m not alright Mickey; you’ve just murdered someone how can I possibly be alright!”

  Despite him trying to calm her down, she ranted at him about what he’d done. “So what would you have fucking recommended then Maria? That I just let the bastard go? He took our fucking kids, or have you forgotten that?”

  “How dare you say that to me” said Maria as she slapped his face, “how dare you! It’s something that I will never forget. I’ve got to live with that every day for the rest of my life!”

  Breaking down she burst into floods of tears. He was just about to say something, when Madeline’s voice said, “What’s wrong with Mummy?”

  Her sister was standing behind her crying, Rosie was by her side.

  Maria beckoned them both over to her, wiping her face as she hugged them and said nothing was wrong and mummy was just talking to daddy.

  Picking her up, Mickey sat her on his lap, as her sister sat on Maria’s. Then calmly he said, sometimes mummies and daddies disagree with things and sometimes they shout at each other.

  Feeling relieved that the argument was temporarily over; Maria suggested that now they were up they should make the girls some breakfast. Mickey occupied the girls while Maria made the breakfast. Maria declined stating she wasn’t hungry.

  While the three of them ate, Maria showered and dressed. When she returned she told him to do the same. She followed him up the stairs to wash and dress the twins. Mickey was back downstairs before them.

  It was just turned nine when Billy returned, fortunately being it was Sunday there was no early morning rush hour traffic. Maria asked what he’d like for breakfast, his reply was anything he was starving, but he needed to shower and change before he ate. Nodding, she would start cooking his breakfast in five minutes.

  Mickey followed him into the hallway so he could ask how everything had gone. He was happy when Billy told him Terry had dumped the body a couple of miles out at sea; he had weighted the body down with a concrete block. They talked about Davy Sheridan? For the time being, Mickey wanted to keep it quiet because Maria didn’t know Davy was involved. Billy nodded then went to get cleaned up.

  Mickey went back to the kitchen, the twins were doing some colouring, while their mum prepared Billy’s breakfast.

  Just as Billy sat down to eat his boiled eggs; when Melanie asked him if they could go swimming again with him and daddy. Before he had time to answer, Maria shouted, “No!”

  The two men and Madeline stared at her while Melanie burst into tears. Maria looked embarrassed as she said, “Not today sweetheart, I don’t want you girls catching cold.”

  Then she left the room and headed upstairs, as she reached the top of the landing she felt as though she would vomit. Entering her bedroom, she rushed towards the en-suite, only just reaching the toilet as she threw up. Shaking, she felt sick at the mere thought of the girls using the pool, when only a few hours earlier a man had been murdered there.

  As she stood up to wash her face, she saw Mickey standing in the doorway. “Please Mickey just leave me alone.”

  Moving towards her he tried to put his arm around her, but she moved backwards. Despite being unhappy with the situation, he didn’t say anything as he turned to leave the bathroom.

  “I want to take the girls away for a while Mickey,” she said as he reached the door.

  Turning he looked at her, he asked where as it would be Christmas in a few weeks and now would not be a good time for him to take a holiday, but they could go in the New Year.

  “No! I want to go now Mickey, I’ll go on my own; you don’t have to come with us.”

  “Where, I wouldn’t be happy about you going alone with the kids.”

  “I haven’t had long enough to think about it, maybe the south of France. I’ll surf the net this afternoon see what’s available.”

  Realising that the situation was going to turn into another row, he said they could discuss it later.

  After leaving the bedroom, he decided to ask the others if they would take the girls out later that day, because he needed to talk to her.

  Back in the kitchen, Billy and the twins had been joined by Den and Mary. They had obviously heard the shouting from the bedroom and subsequently come back down stairs. It went quiet as Maria walked in.

  “Alright love,” said Mary as she looked at her.

  Mickey piped up, she wasn’t feeling too good; she’d got a bit of morning sickness and he was hoping they would take the girls out for them that afternoon so Maria could get some rest.

  The twins got excited and asked if they could go to pirates again.

  “Yeah I think Billy will like it there!” said Den with a grin.

  Billy frowned; he knew by their granddad’s grin that it was probably somewhere he wouldn’t particularly like. His fears were confirmed when he asked the twins about it and they revelled in telling him, that there were climbing frames, tubes and such like.

  “Sounds great girls, I can’t wait!”

  The morning seemed to drag for Maria; she was relieved when lunch time approached so she could prepare it. Mickey had been in the study for most of the morning making and receiving calls. The twins had gone with the others to see the ponies.

  It was half twelve when everyone sat down for lunch. It was during desert that Maria dropped a bomb shell when looking across the table at Billy and asked if he had any plans to go anywhere between then and Christmas. Shaking his head, he said not that he knew of.

  “Would you be able to go away with me and the girls for a couple of weeks? Probably the south of France, only Mickey can’t get away and he doesn’t want us going on our own?”

  The twins interrupted, “Please Billy, come with us you’ll really like it.”

  “I told you Maria,” said Mickey angrily “we’ll talk about it later.”

  Everyone could see that he was angry with her. Ignoring her husband, she continued to talk to Billy and asked if he could go with them.

  Feeling embarrassed and sensing that all was not well between them, Billy felt as though he was being used as a pawn, so smiling at her he suggested she asked the boss as he looked over at Mickey, who by then was seething because she had mentioned it again.

  “We’ve got a lot to do here Billy and I’ll need you back at the club soon.”

  “Fair enough boss,” said Billy with a nod.

  The twins were unhappy about him not going, they had no idea what was really going on when they said they wanted him to come.

  “We’ll go another time girls,” said Billy “now tell me about this place we’re going to later, what’s it called Pirates?”

  Maria looked tearful as she just stood up and asked to be excused, she wasn’t feeling very well. Leaving the room, she headed upstairs.

  Mickey wait
ed until she’d gone before he said to the others, he’d talk to her, he believed the strain of the last few weeks had caught up with her.

  “Your mother was the same when she was pregnant son; it was like living with Jekyll and Hyde!”

  They all laughed. Mary told the girls to get their coats on as they’d be taking them out soon.

  Fifteen minutes later they were getting ready to leave. Mickey ordered Rosie to stay downstairs and then he went to find Maria. She was lying on their bed; he could see she was crying as she said she was going to lie down for a while and when she got up she was going to use the computer. Sensing that she didn’t want to talk, he knew her reference to using the computer was her way of saying that she was serious about going away.

  “We need to talk Maria and we can start with this going away business, you shouldn’t have said anything to Billy that was out of order.”

  Sitting up she looked as though she was going to burst into tears and said she thought Billy was there to protect them.

  “Here is right, not somewhere else. There’s no way I would let you and Billy take the kids on holiday, I told you we’ll go later.”

  The tension was growing between them as they continued to argue about it. Adamantly she said she wanted to go then.

  “If it’s really that important to you, I’ll see if mum and dad fancy going?”

  Resenting his obvious mistrust of her going with Billy, she snapped she didn’t want to go with his mum and dad; she’d like someone young with them.

  “Billy that’s who you want, isn’t it, say it Maria? Well it’s not going to happen so you can just fucking forget it, ok!”

  “What you mean is you don’t trust me and the thought that me and Billy might end up fucking, pisses you off!”

  Seething with anger and without thinking, he slapped her face, immediately he tried to say he was sorry.

  “That’s it isn’t it Mickey, you think I fancy Billy, you think I want to fuck him?”

  “Don’t fucking push me Maria; the way you’re behaving, maybe I should be worried, maybe you do want to fuck him?”

  Now it was her turn to be resentful, she raised her hand to hit him back. Grabbing her by the wrist, she struggled against him; he could see that she was becoming hysterical. Repeatedly he told her to calm down. Finally, she stopped screaming at him, although he was still holding her. Slowly he released his grip and then he tried to hug her.

  “I hate it when we argue babe, I’m sorry about what I said and for slapping you.”

  “Let’s just call it a day Mickey, we both know I’m not cut out for this kind of life and we both know it’s always going to be like this. I’m not like your mum, I can’t just carry on as normal knowing that you murdered someone in cold blood and today you were prepared to let our girls swim where you did it. I know you felt justified, but that doesn’t change anything. No one could ever say you are anything but a great husband and father, but I should have known when Jimmy died that things would always be like this around people like you and him. I’m so sorry, but I can’t let my girls live this life, so I see no other option than for us to divorce and for me and the girls to move somewhere else.”

  “What the fuck are you talking about? We’re not getting divorced, I told you before, its people who don’t like each other who get divorced, not people who love each other and we’ve got a baby on the way, we’re not getting divorced.”

  “Well I’ll just leave then; I’ll start looking for somewhere first thing tomorrow. I’m sorry Mickey you’re a good man, it’s not you it’s me. I just can’t do this anymore. It’s best for everyone. You can see the girls whenever you like, as for the baby, let’s just wait and see what happens.”

  “This is not happening babe, we love each other and you and the girls aren’t going anywhere.”

  “Sorry Mickey, I’ve made my mind up. You’ve always been so good to us and I’ve really appreciated everything, but it won’t change the way I feel now.”

  Sitting down next to her on the bed and shocked from the bombshell about divorce, he held her hand; he had tears in his eyes.

  Feeling angry and helpless, he raised his voice and said, “Just fucking stop it Maria!”

  “Stop what?”

  “You know fucking well what, you’re trying to make me feel bad about what I did. You’re using the situation to justify what you’re saying, maybe you can tell me what I should have done and don’t say I should have called the Old Bill, you know fucking well I couldn’t. Truth is I wanted to fucking kill that bastard after what he did, so don’t ask me to feel guilty about it, because I won’t! If the others weren’t already dead, I’d fucking kill them too!”

  “Normal families don’t live like this and they would have phoned the police.”

  “Normal families don’t have their fucking kids kidnapped! If I had called the Old Bill, believe me they would have killed the girls. How would you feel then Maria? If we’d had to go to the morgue to identify their bodies, fucking tell me that!”

  She shook violently as she absorbed his words.

  “You don’t know that Mickey, you don’t know they would have killed them.”

  Annoyed at her lack of reality about what had happened, his temper was running high as she continued to say things. Finally he reached boiling pitch, grabbing her by the shoulders he shook her, not enough to hurt her just enough to get her full attention. She looked terrified.

  “Fuck me Maria wake up! Believe me the fucking people who did this would not have hesitated to fucking kill them! Why can’t you fucking grasp that?”

  “You know who’s behind this don’t you? Fucking tell me, I have a right to know! This is why I can’t stay here Mickey, because you don’t tell me things. You always think that I’m stupid and I’ll go to pieces, well I won’t! You promised me that you wouldn’t keep secrets!”

  Taking his hands off her shoulders he sat back down, he knew she was right; he had always tried to protect her because she was vulnerable, but maybe this was the time to come clean. The last thing he wanted was her leaving. In a calmer voice he told her, he thought Davy Sheridan was behind the kidnapping.

  Struggling to breathe as the reality of his words sunk in she said “God Mickey! Why is he doing this to us? I thought when the old man died that would be an end to it, why is he doing it?”

  “Jimmy that’s why, it’s a grudge thing. Like you, I thought it would be over when Dave died, but from what we know young Davy is looking for retribution over his granddad. He’s an arsehole, he knew I would pay and because I’ve stepped down in the firm, he thought I wouldn’t have the back up, but that was his downfall, because Tony as you know has been great. Davy saw it as an easy way to make some money; he used Spider to do his dirty work, with a complete fabrication of the truth about his dad’s death. Davy knew exactly who to set up and make it look as though my dad had done something, when in fact he hadn’t, but he didn’t bank on Spider and the others ripping him off! Another thing babe, he’s knows you’re a rich woman in your own right, believe me he would have done this whether you were with me or not!”

  “I’m sorry this is all my fault Mickey, it was me who started the feud between Jimmy and Dave Sheridan and now my children are paying for it!”

  “You didn’t start anything babe, there was bad blood between them long before you met him. What’s important is that we stick together.”

  She knew he loved her and the girls and that he would do everything in his power to protect them. Ironically it was their biological father who had brought about this nightmare when he’d started the feud. Davy obviously thought that Jimmy had some bearing on his granddad suffering the heart attack that killed him, although it was his granddad that had relit the feud which had finally ended with Jimmy’s murder.

  Sitting there she thought about all that Mickey had gone through to protect them, she knew that she had been stupid to think that leaving him would solve their problems. She thought about what he had said about her being wealthy, sh
e knew that even if she had been single, her children would still have been at risk, the only difference would have been Mickey. Ironically, she knew that the first person she would have turned to for help would have been him. Squeezing his hand she tried to tell him how sorry she was, especially about the things she had said about Billy, she hadn’t meant them in any bad way.

  With her beautiful eyes all red and swollen she looked right at him.

  “I don’t fancy Billy and I know I was wrong to bring him into this. I love you Mickey can you forgive me? You know I’d never want anyone else, but I’m just not cut out for this life. Unfortunately, Jimmy has left me a legacy that will never go away. I wanted a normal life for us, a happy life, but I’ll never have it, will I? I thought when you left London and the clubs everything would be great, truth is I was only kidding myself. The past is always going to haunt our future, whether I’m with you or on my own.”

  “It’s not just people like us babe, I know other good decent people like solicitors and barristers, who’ve never done anything criminal, yet they have been victims of violence and had threats to their families because of their profession. I know it’s hard for you babe, but it will get back to normal and I promise from now on no more secrets. I love being here with you and our girls and I want it to stay that way forever. I’ll let you into a secret; I could never understand why Jimmy was so paranoid over you, don’t get me wrong you’re a good looking woman, but he was obsessed. All the time he used to go on about how he couldn’t live without you and how he saw all other men as a threat. The many times when he would say he would rather see you dead than with another man. I would tell him that it wasn’t normal for him to think that way, yet today when you said about taking the girls on holiday with Billy, I knew how Jimmy had felt. The realisation that you may actually want someone else, I felt sick to the pit of my stomach. I know Billy isn’t a threat to me, but what if it had been someone that was? I couldn’t bear the thought of another man touching you. I would want to kill him; I’ve never felt that way over anyone, only you.”