Torment

by R. S. Broadhead

“Well, stop having sexual daydreams. I can practically see the drool, not to mention that big ass woodie that’s making me super uncomfortable right now. If you’re not thinking about Reese then we got some serious problems considering you’re out here with us. It’s probably Hollywood, isn’t it?” he asked casually as he propped against a rock.

  “Hell no,” I said while shifting the embarrassment that made an appearance due to picturing her.

  “So, have you told her yet?”

  “Told who what?” He puckered his lips up and threw a small rock at me.

  “Dude, what the fuck? We’re not stupid. Have you told Reese that you’re having raging hard-ons when you think about her?” he asked sarcastically. “What do you think I’m talking about? Have you told her you’re in love with her?”

  “Who’s in love with who?” Hollywood asked as he came into view.

  “I am with you, big boy! You know what they say about a guy with two big ass dragons, don’t ya?” Freeman asked, laughing.

  “Suck a sick dick, Freeman.” He sat next to Freeman before continuing, “Are we finally having the conversation with Harley about his crazy ass obsession with Reese?”

  “Whoa now! Reese has been giving me the eye since she got here,” Zeke said. “I’m sorry, Harley. It must be this sweet hairstyle. It’s a real panty dropper.” He propped against the tree and crossed his arms.

  “Yeah, it’s a real panty dropper if the chick was blind,” Hollywood said.

  Zeke shook his head. “Say what you wanna, but I’ve had more action than any of you.”

  “That’s because you bring home all those skank-tails from Boo’s Slut Hut. I just can’t believe that many of them fall for your Eight Ball story. If they only knew that you kick it with him on a regular then they’d freak the hell out. I’m really regretting sending you in there to get dirt on the Depot Demons,” Freeman said.

  “That reminds me. It’s time for a smoke break.” He reached around and pulled the pipe he called Black Betty out of his backpack. He lit it up and took a deep drag, coughing out smoke as he exhaled. “Man, that shit hits immediately.”

  “You need to lay off it. That’s probably why you can’t get your abilities to half work anymore. You done smoked yourself stupid,” I said. Back in Plamethia everyone occasionally smoked at celebrations but not all day, everyday like Zeke had started doing.

  “My abilities will work when they need to. Right now, I just don’t have the need for them. I mean we’re kind of stuck here until Reese gets it together. If that ever happens,” he said.

  “Do you think she’s any closer to remembering, Harley?” Freeman asked. I didn’t know what to tell him. She hadn’t talk to me much about it. The last thing I wanted to do was discourage these guys. We had waited for years. Now we had to wait on something else. All the while Dermetheus was gaining forces.

  “I don’t know. She’s trying hard. Lavarus is putting her through some shit, so I really don’t get to talk to her as much.”

  “Gah! I hope it isn’t much longer,” Hollywood said. “What are we gonna do if she never does? Or the darkness takes over her completely? There’s no back-up plan. I guess we might as well sit back and prepare to die because Dermetheus will be coming after us.”

  “Reese is a fighter. If anyone can stop the darkness, it’s her,” I said.

  “That’s easy for you to say because you’re in love with her,” Freeman said. Everyone let that statement hang in air a few moments.

  “If she does remember who she is then you know she remembers that Steele dude. What are you gonna do about that?” Hollywood asked. For the first time, in a while, there was no sarcasticness to his voice. He was being a concerned friend, which surprised the hell out of me.

  “I don’t know. I just wish I knew what happened to them after we left. If he’s still there, waiting for her when she gets back then there won’t be anything I can do. She’s gonna pick him over me.”

  “You don’t know that,” Zeke said. I didn’t have the heart to argue with him over it. If Reese was mine, I would fight to keep her, so I knew that guy wouldn’t let her go unless he had to. No matter what happened, I would always be happy with the time I had with her here. At least I would have those memories to take with me forever.

  “She might actually be in love with you now,” Freeman said.

  “Harley?” her voice came from behind me. Great. Now she knew we were gossiping about her. I’m sure this looked awesome. I smoothed down my hair and rolled out of the hammock. I really should have put my shirt back on before I came out here to lie around. I didn’t want her to be uncomfortable with me half naked.

  “What’s up?” I asked.

  “Can we talk?” she asked, casting a small glance at the guys.

  “Sure. Let’s take a walk. Do I need to grab a shirt?” She giggled. It made me weak in the knees.

  “I can take you not having a shirt on,” she said as we walked down a trail. “I’ve seen guys in a lot less than that, I’m sure.” I pretended I didn’t just hear that. I didn’t want to picture her seeing other guys naked. It made me want to bash their faces in. “Unless you’re scared to be around me with your shirt off. I mean, I kinda like seeing it.”

  She swiftly turned toward me and leaned against a tree. She grabbed my hips and pulled them to her, instantly the embarrassment from before made a reappearance. I put my hands on the tree to brace myself over her. This was a shock coming from her. Most of the time she acted so shy around me. Her hand ran over my stomach, sending fire through my blood. She watched her fingers run lower until they were at the rim of my shorts. She looked up at me, mouth slightly parted, and bit her lip. It was those lips I couldn’t get out of my mind. It was those lips I wanted to taste so desperately.

  “Do you want me as bad as I want you?” My mouth went dry. I swallowed not quite knowing what to say. She had no idea how bad I wanted to fuck her against this tree right now.

  “Reese, it isn’t a good idea.” I tried to reason with her, with myself. I needed to somehow talk myself out of what could happen here, quickly.

  “I’ve been gone for months. What if there isn’t anyone waiting there for me anymore?” Her hand started to move back up. She stepped forward and kissed my collarbone, making my eyes roll back. I couldn’t take it anymore and jerked her legs out from under her, wrapping them around my waist as I pushed her into the tree. She let out a little excited gasp. I pressed my hard-on against her as I pushed up the loose shorts she wore, grabbing a handful of her round ass. I buried my face into her neck. Her breathing was so rapid. I was driving her wild, and that turned me on even more. Her hands locked in my hair, gently tugging at it as I ran my lips over her skin. She smelled so sweet. Her skin was so soft.

  “You drive me fuckin’ crazy, Reese. This is what you do to me when I think about you,” I pressed myself against her even harder, making her moan. “I want to feel you so bad,” I hissed possessively.

  “I want you … please … kiss me. I pulled back and stared at her moist lips. I kissed the corner of her mouth, making them turn up as she waited for more. I dropped her legs and took a few steps back. I let out a scream and dropped to my knees, grabbing a fist full of my hair in frustration. “Reese, you know we can’t. Fuck!” She kneeled in front of me, her face flushed, and pulled my hands down.

  “It’s okay. I’m sorry. I know you don’t wanna do anything until my memories come back. I shouldn’t have done that. It’s just hard being around you and not touching you.” She pushed my hair back and smiled at me. “Thank you for thinking of me like that. Any other guy wouldn’t have been able to pull back like you did. It shows how much you care. I promise I didn’t get you out here for that. It was just … you didn’t have a shirt on so I couldn’t help myself.”

  I laughed. “See, I should’ve went and put one on.”

  She shook her head. “It really wouldn’t have mattered. I probably would’ve done it anyway.”

  “So what did you want if that wasn’
t your intentions?” I asked, still trying to get my hormones under control. Her smile vanished, and she looked down at the ground.

  “Lavarus thinks I’m ready to face my past. He’s giving me a stimulant to jump start my memories. He said there’s no telling how my mind will react since the darkness is there. He said it’s our last hope. If this doesn’t work, my memories may never come back or it could be years. I know we don’t have years.” I felt like someone had knocked the breath out of me. I knew it was going to happen but still, I wasn’t ready to possibly lose her.

  “When?”

  “Tonight.” I nodded. “I guess that’s why I was so desperate with you. I don’t know how it’s gonna play out. I wanted to be with you before anything could change my feelings. That way I would at least always know what it would be like. I don’t think I could’ve made it this far if it wasn’t for you. I was in a really dark place, and you brought me back.” I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her in for a hug.

  “No matter what happens, my feelings for you will never change.”

  She stood, brushing the dirt from her legs. “Well, I better go. He told me to go take a nap because this was gonna wear me out if I didn’t.”

  “Do you want me to walk you back?” I wanted her to say yes. In a few hours she might not want me at all anymore, which scared me shitless.

  “Nah, I think I’ll be okay. Besides, if we make it to my room then you probably won’t be able to stop me again,” she replied, winking at me. She trotted off through the woods, leaving me alone to sulk. I decided to take another run, anything to burn off what I just worked up. I was definitely going to have blue balls if things kept progressing this way. I didn’t know how much longer I could hold out.

  When I made it back to the spot where I left the guys, I was exhausted and out of breath. They were still sitting around in the same spots, except Zeke had taken my hammock.

  “Damn, that must have been good. My boy is drained!” Hollywood said, eyeing me. I shook my head.

  “I just got through with a run,” I said in between gasps.

  “Didn’t you already take a run a little while ago?” Freeman asked. He narrowed his eyes at me.

  “I had my reasons for taking another one, okay?” They burst out laughing, slapping each other.

  “Dang, that girl got you all worked up, didn’t she?” Zeke asked. He took another drag off his pipe. “And that shit is even funnier right now because I’m high as hell.” I shoved the hammock and he rolled out, hitting the ground with a thud. “Hah! I didn’t even feel that, so suck on that.”

  “So, she wanted to take you to the woods to get your dick swoll again and then run off?” Freeman asked.

  “What do you mean again?” Hollywood asked. He shifted excitedly, preparing for a great story.

  “When I first walked out here, Harley was laying in that hammock with his eyes closed, dick hard as brick, standing straight up. I know what he was daydreaming about. Hell, he’s probably been beating it every night.”

  Hollywood fell over, curling in a ball, laughing. “Zeke, did you like rolling around in the spunk?”

  Zeke barely picked his head up off the ground, a little bit of dirt on his lips. “Huh?”

  “You know he don’t give a shit right now. He probably don’t even know where he’s at,” Freeman said. I sat down on a rock across from them and buried my head under my arms. “Whoa, Harley. We’re just busting your balls.”

  “I know.”

  “What’s up then?” Hollywood asked.

  “Lavarus is giving her a stimulant tonight to help her remember her past. Tonight is probably gonna be the night I find out how she’ll really feel. I mean, I know she probably loves me, but the question is does she love me more than Oliver Steele.”

  “If it’s meant to be then she will,” Freeman said. “I do know one thing though.”

  “What’s that?” I asked.

  “You don’t need to sit here and think about it all day. That’s just depressing,” he replied. “Let’s go swimming.” I managed to pull myself up and follow them to the swimming spot. No matter how hard I tried not to think about tonight or her, it was impossible. We got back right as the sun was about to set. Reese and Lavarus were chatting in front of the Temple as we walked up. He shot me a sympathetic glance as she walked over to me.

  “It’s time,” she said.

  “So it is.”

  She pushed her hair back with both hands, letting them linger on the top of her head. “I’m scared.”

  “Don’t be. You have no reason to be. You’re strong. You can handle it, whatever it is. I’ll be here waiting for you when you come out,” I said, gently rubbing her cheek.

  “Pinky promise?” she asked, holding out her pinky. I rolled my eyes and laughed at her, but stuck mine out and wrapped it around hers. Of course this was met by the obnoxious laughter from the guys behind us. She walked back to Lavarus, and they started climbing the steps alongside the mountain. She was about to disappear inside an opening when something in me snapped.

  “Wait!” The guys gave me confused looks as I shoved past them and took the stairs two at time to get to her.

  “Wha …” she started. She didn’t get the chance to finish her question because my lips crashed into hers. Something inside me melted. I would do anything for this girl. She was my world, my love, my queen. I had never experienced anything so surreal. Our kind only had one love, and she was it for me. Our tongues intertwined softly as I picked her up, bringing her closer to me. I set her down and managed to pull away. Her eyes were wide as her mouth hung open.

  “Wow,” she said. With a shaking hand, she reached up and touched her lips.

  “I love you, Reese Salt. Don’t forget that.” I turned to look down at my brothers that were already making fun of me. “You hear that! I fuckin’ love Reese Salt!” I screamed down at them. She giggled behind me. “I’ll see you when you get out.” She nodded and disappeared with Lavarus. My heart was beating so hard it practically felt like it was going to rip through my chest, partly from our kiss and partly from what she was about to experience.

  “Was it that good?” Hollywood asked. “From the looks of it, maybe I should start the hunt for my one. Come to think about it … there was one girl that caught my eye.” His voice trailed off as he looked out across the trees.

  “If one sparks your interest then I would go after her. I can’t explain the feeling she gives me. I thought fighting and battles pumped me up, but it’s nothing compared to the way I feel when I’m around her. We were made specifically for battle and to protect Nabea, with her, I finally feel like I’m worth more then that.”

  “That’d be a good feeling,” he said. We hung back letting Freeman and Zeke walk ahead. “I’m hoping everything turns out for the best tonight. I can’t imagine what you’re going through.”

  “It’s one of the hardest things I’ve ever been through.”

  “Yo! You ladies gonna make it over here sometime tonight?” Freeman asked as he ignited the bonfire. “My belly isn’t gonna stay this round and sexy with no food. I’m ready to eat.” The smell of cooking meat filled the night.

  “Don’t worry, Hollywood, you’re little soft spot is safe with me. If these guys knew you were even thinking about getting a girl then they’d give you shit like me.”

  “But you know I have to keep giving you shit with them, right? Or they might start suspecting somethin’,” he replied, giving me a small punch to the shoulder.

  “I know. Give me all the shit you want. It’s worth it.” He nodded as he went over to help Freeman cook. After we ate, Freeman and I strummed on the guitars while I sang. It helped pass the time. Over the years we’d became pretty good. We were so in tune with our jam session we didn’t hear Lavarus walk up behind us.

  “Anything?” I asked. He shook his head.

  “I left her after I gave her the stimulant. She was going somewhere I didn’t need to go. Her memories are for her to experience alone.”<
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  “How do you think this is going to work?” Freeman asked, sitting his guitar down and giving Lavarus his undivided attention. Lavarus locked his hands together and stared into the flames, leaving the questions hanging for a few moments.

  “I don’t know, honestly. When she first got here, I just knew it’d be only a matter of days before the darkness took completely over, but then it was like the progress stopped, and she started fighting it more. I’ve never seen anything like it in all my years. No one has ever been able to fight it that way. At the same time, no matter what we’ve done, her memories haven’t come back. If this doesn’t work then I don’t know if they ever will.”

  “She’s been in there for hours now. How long should it take?” I asked.

  Lavarus shrugged. “It all depends on her. She’s battling herself in there.”

  “Do you mean when she comes out she could be completely dark?” Hollywood asked, his voice a little louder then necessary.

  “Yes,” Lavarus replied. I stood and chunked my guitar into a nearby tree.

  “What the hell, Lavarus? Why didn’t you tell us that? Did she know?”

  He nodded. “She did.” I ran a hand through my hair and pinched the bridge of my nose.

  “Why didn’t she tell me?”

  “Because she knew you wouldn’t want her to go in.”

  “Well of course I wouldn’t want her to. If she goes dark then … then … there’s no other way. We’d have to kill her.” Lavarus nodded solemnly.

  “I don’t think we’d be able to stop her, dude,” Zeke said.

  “We’d have to try,” I replied, not turning around. I couldn’t. My eyes brimmed with tears that I didn’t want them to see. My wolves were dying to be released. They could feel my hurt, and it hurt them. I granted them a release and instantly they ripped from my back. The three of them arched their backs, snarling and pawing at the ground. “Go.” They tore away, their howls screaming through the night. I walked away in the direction of my old room, the room she’d been staying in since she’d gotten here. I ignored the guys calling after me. Once I got there, I could smell her. I found a shirt lying on the bed and picked it up, rubbing it with my thumb. I lay on the bed and stared up at the ceiling. How could I make myself kill her if that’s what it came down to? The thought of it made everything in me hurt again. As if on cue, the wolves let out another howl somewhere off in the distance. I closed my eyes and let the tears fall.