The Monster MASH

by Angie Fox

Mortals didn’t get the justice or the respect that the gods seemed to have for one another. I might have spent the rest of my life in prison. And eternal lockup didn’t have luxuries like Fruit Stripe gum, beds, and three meals a day. In fact, sometimes the gods forgot that mortals needed to eat, and entire prison populations would starve.

  Shake it off. It didn’t happen.

  “We’ll assemble a solid tribunal, but he may not even make it through the first interrogation,” Kosta said, matter-of-fact. “Watch yourself.”

  I nodded, reading between the lines. Thaïs had friends. And I’d just stepped way above my station. At least that was how a lot of immortals would see it.

  Kosta consulted the paperwork on his desk. “I need you to file a report and pick up his shift.”

  “Of course.”

  “I’ll have Shirley put out a new schedule.”

  One that would be worse than before. That wasn’t what worried me, though.

  I cleared my throat. “Did the old army know who they had?” I asked Kosta.

  Kosta took a seat behind his desk. “Not in the higher ranks. They would have tortured him, tried to dig out information. The kid didn’t know anything.” He opened a drawer and pulled out a fresh cigar. “Spiros sent me word. We worked out a plan to get that boy out of there.”

  “I’m sorry,” I said, pulling up a chair.

  Kosta nodded, turning his cigar over in his fingers. “What happened to him?” he asked quietly.

  I tried to think of a nice way to say it, and finally just settled on the truth. “It was an accident. One of his own men stabbed him. I did everything I could to save him, but the knife came apart on us.”

  The colonel sighed, accepting it like the enduring soldier he was.

  “Did he…?” He ticked his chin toward the heavens, and I could see the fear behind the question.

  “He died quickly and well,” I said, glad I could offer my commander some comfort.

  The colonel dug a fist against his desk and stared at it for a long moment.

  He cleared his throat. “Thanks, Petra.”

  He expelled a long breath. “You know he had a wife and kids topside.”

  “On Earth?” I hadn’t realized. It wasn’t overly common. Most of these warriors had been down here too long.

  He shook his head, a wry smile tickling his lips. “Met her on leave. Could hardly do without her.”

  I wasn’t sure what to say, so I waited. He deserved to be able to talk about his friend.

  Kosta’s gaze wandered. “Damn shame,” was all he said.

  He lit his cigar and blew out a few puffs. “Before you go, I’ve got to give you the heads-up.” He planted his elbows on the desk. “The armies are unmatched. Nobody can deny it. Not anymore.” He let out a low whistle. “Something big is going down. We’ve come close to losing the last several battles. Now the armies are massing to the north.”

  “I’ll be sure to rest up.” We’d have a tougher time of it now that we were down a doctor.

  “I don’t think that will be enough,” he said, regret coloring his words. “I got word a few minutes ago that they’re going to be pulling our soldiers out of recovery.”

  That didn’t make any sense. “They can’t take wounded men.” It was completely absurd, not to mention counterproductive. “Without proper medical care, some of those soldiers could die.”

  The lines on Kosta’s face had deepened, and he looked older than his immortal forever-mid-forties physique. “The new army needs every warrior it can get. Even if they take all the wounded from every MASH unit, I hear we’re still outnumbered.”

  Which meant disaster on Earth.

  “Galen said there was something in motion.” He’d said it was a military secret.

  “Commander Delphi,” Kosta corrected, almost as a reflex.

  Yes, yes. Whatever. “His information might be outdated now,” I feared. He’d been away from his troops for too long.

  “He couldn’t tell us anyway,” Kosta said. “Intelligence issues. But don’t be surprised if they take him, too.”

  “They can’t.” I couldn’t afford to lose him. Not now.

  “You’re not his doctor.”

  Kosta was right. And doctor or not, my decision wouldn’t save him anymore—not if they were pulling the injured out of recovery.

  The prophecy was supposed to bring peace. It was supposed to stop this.

  I’d done everything they wanted. I’d gone to the edge of hell and back.

  And for what?

  “What are you thinking, Doc?”

  “That this is wrong. It’s not supposed to turn out this way. The prophecy—”

  “Prophecies are pigeon crap,” Kosta thundered. “We need a savior in the next two days, three tops, or the world is going to hell.”

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Dismissed, I left Kosta’s office more miserable than when I’d gone in. Shirley sat in the outer office with her phone to her ear.

  “Wait,” she said, placing a hand over the mouthpiece. “Did you hear? There’s a new prophecy coming up.”

  Hope surged. “You mean now?” I could use a break.

  “Not yet, I don’t think.” She spoke into the phone. “What are they doing now?”

  After listening, Shirley glanced up at me. “They’re wailing and tearing at their hair.”

  Naturally. “Who are you talking to?”

  “Elise from the 8071st. She’s stuck at her desk, too.”

  “Right.” Despite the sleep I’d had at Galen’s, I was exhausted. Shirley had to be feeling ten times worse. “When are you getting out of here?”

  She gave me a look that said come on, and I wondered why I’d brought it up. We all knew the drill.

  “Everyone’s watching PNN down at the mess hall,” she told me. “I’ll meet you there after I get off.”

  “If you get off,” I corrected, “and no thanks.” I stretched my arms and realized I’d forgotten to put on a bra. “I’m going to bed.”

  “Those pants say you already did,” she called after me as I banged out into the courtyard.

  Everybody was a comedian.

  Oh well. Let her laugh. Last night had been worth it.

  I might have just found myself a boyfriend—barring prophecies, medical emergencies, or the end of the world.

  Camp was quiet save for the party going on down at the other end. Smoke billowed from the kitchen behind the mess tent. The chatter of the crowd echoed across the terrain.

  I’d take a hot demigod warrior over twenty-four-hour PNN coverage any day. My hot demigod warrior. Oh my. My body warmed at the thought of it. Smiling, I headed to Galen’s haven across the road. Maybe he’d be up for a chat and a nap.

  Of course, I hadn’t taken five steps when I heard Rodger. “Well, look who’s not going home.” The cheer in his voice was forced. He sounded tired.

  “I’m a walking billboard,” I said, turning around, displaying my oversized special ops duds. “No out-of-uniform jokes, okay?”

  But there was no danger of that. Rodger lingered outside recovery, looking pale and worn to pieces. His hair stood out at odd angles from under the sagging surgical cap he’d forgotten to take off.

  “Hey, thanks for jumping in back there,” I said, strolling over to him. I didn’t like the expression on his face, like he’d seen a ghost. I was the only one who was supposed to see ghosts. I glanced at the ward behind him. “How are the patients doing?”

  “Recovering well,” he said, his voice curt. “What, were you just going to go back to Galen’s and not even talk to me?”

  Come on. “So now you’re jealous about Galen?”

  I really didn’t need werewolf drama. I just wanted to enjoy a few laughs with my studly warrior and find a safe place to sleep for about a week.

  Rodger rubbed a hand over his face. He looked like hell and needed a shave. “That’s not it. I don’t care what you do with Galen. I’ve got a family to worry about.”

  That got my at
tention. “What? Is there something wrong with Mary Ann or the kids?” In the last month, Gabriel had gotten stuck in the dryer, Stephen decided to play Superman and jumped off the roof with a cape tied around his neck, and Kate shoved an entire rainbow of Skittles up her nose—again.

  Frankly, it seemed more distressing to Mary Ann than the kids. And there was nothing we could do from down here.

  “No,” he said miserably. “Mary Ann and the kids are fine and dandy. Perfect.”

  “Right.” Something was definitely going on with Rodger. “You want to talk about it?”

  Rodger stood stone-faced and glum.

  “Okay.” When my buddy wasn’t ready to talk, no amount of prodding could get him to have it out. I’d have to wait to figure out what was up with him.

  I hitched up the waist of Galen’s pants. “I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?” Maybe he’d be ready to talk after a good night’s sleep. “In the meantime…” I glanced over to Galen’s tent, positively swamped with anticipation.

  “Gods”—Rodger rolled his eyes—“bring back my jaded friend.”

  “She’s on vacation.”

  “I can tell.”

  Yes, well, Rodger needed to snap out of it. “You should be glad to see me alive.”

  “I’m glad you’re alive,” he said, like a kid asked to recite math problems.

  “Good,” I said, tugging off his surgical cap and shoving it against his chest. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  Galen rose as soon as I entered the tent. “What happened?”

  I sighed, burying my head against his chest, snuggling in as his arms wrapped around me. “Thaïs is in lockup.”

  “Good.” His chest rumbled under my cheek.

  “Mmm…” I wanted to forget Thaïs and Kosta and Rodger and everybody.

  Galen made it easy to forget, to believe things would be okay.

  I let him hold me, indulging in the comfort, and—I’ll admit it—taking a little rest.

  It was like coming home after a long day. Only this time, I was sharing a tent with a devastatingly attractive demigod who liked to feed me blueberries.

  “Now, where were we?” I asked, trailing my fingers down his side.

  Galen chuckled, shaking me out of the catnap I’d begun to take. “You can’t keep your eyes open,” he said as if that was the most amusing thing in the world.

  “Can too,” I said, trying to seduce him with my eyes closed.

  “Come on,” he said, leading me to the bedroom.

  “Well, if you insist.” I wasn’t going to argue locations with the man. And from what I recalled, his bed had been heavenly.

  He pushed back the tent flaps to the back room.

  Twinkling lights were strung across the ceiling, mimicking the night sky.

  Those were new. “What’d you do?” I asked, sinking down onto the softest mattress in the world.

  “I took the time to turn them on.”

  “Ahh…” We had been a little stressed last night.

  As I picked out the Big Dipper in the starscape above, an uncomfortable thought tugged at me. “Kosta said the army is calling up soldiers out of recovery.”

  I wanted to hear him say it wouldn’t be him.

  The bed dipped as Galen eased down next to me. “That’s always been their plan in case of emergency.”

  Wrong answer. “It’s that bad?” I said, unease settling over me.

  “It’s been getting worse for about a year now.” He ran his fingers through my hair, sending little shivers down my spine. “We’ve mostly been able to even the score by going in and taking out vital positions before the big battles.”

  I rolled to my side and propped up on one elbow. “That’s what you’ve been up to.” I’d wondered what he did with the special forces.

  “Yes. Me and my men.” Galen lay opposite me, parallel yet not touching. Not yet. “The situation is dicey. You’ve heard of the earthquakes and eruptions on Earth.”

  I had. It was getting worse. “What do you know?” I understood all about the army and the fact that I didn’t have clearance. He didn’t have to tell me and probably shouldn’t. Still. “If we’re going to try to stop this, I need to know.”

  He hesitated. “I am allowed discretion,” he said slowly.

  Ah, now this was getting interesting. “So you can tell me if you want.”

  He tensed. “For security purposes only,” he said as if testing out the thought.

  I shifted my hips on the mattress. “And not because I’ll kiss you if you play your cards right?”

  He snorted. “Definitely not.”

  Galen touched the soft spot at the crook of my hip where his borrowed pants stopped and a slice of bare skin began. “The enemy has been steadily working its units north, toward the Mountain of Flames.”

  “I’ve heard of that,” I said, inching closer to him. I’d never been north, but those who had said it was this massive hell vent with a mountain smack-dab in the middle.

  “Our side captured it shortly after the last peace.”

  “In 1593?”

  His brow knit. “I’m not sure of the mortal year, but yes, I’d say that is accurate for our conversation.” He brought his hand to rest on my hip. “As you know, hell vents can let loose demons and imps. They’re also immense sources of energy for an army that has the knowledge and the resources to exploit the power. The Mountain of Flames is the only remaining entrance to the underworld. At least the only one that lets you leave after you’ve finished your business.”

  “So why haven’t we done it?” I wasn’t for unbalancing the armies, but if we needed a leg up, then maybe our gods needed to get on the horn to the gods of the underworld. There were at least a dozen: Osiris, Hades, Pluto, Erlik, Mantus, Yama—and that wasn’t counting the Mayan death gods. Wait. We had to be talking at least thirty.

  The whole lot had refused to take sides in the war, but that didn’t mean the denizens of the underworld weren’t above simple bribery.

  “We tried to do it,” Galen admitted reluctantly. “My former commander was one of the ones who were present at the negotiations.”

  “Okay.” We could work with this. “So what does he say?”

  “He was killed more than three centuries ago. But what he said at the time was that the terms of the underworld gods were completely unacceptable.”

  “So the new gods couldn’t make a deal.”

  Galen shook his head. “Many of them were tempted. Several pushed for it. But in the end, they declined.” His hand tightened on my hip. “We’ve gone to great lengths to keep control of the Mountain of Flames ever since. If the old gods ever made it to that negotiating table, they would have no problem making the bargain.”

  Hell’s bells. I didn’t like the sound of that. “What did the rulers of the underworld want?” I felt my hands ball into fists. It was no accident that he hadn’t mentioned it. He hadn’t wanted to tell me. Which meant it was bad.

  He swallowed. “They wanted the soul of every mortal in our army.”

  Oh my god. I shot up, hands over my mouth. “And our side had to debate?”

  In a single motion, Galen was next to me. I backed away.

  “You know what some of the gods are like,” he said. “They only think of themselves. This was an easy solution for them.”

  Oh. Sure. Real easy. “Who’s going to run their army?” At least half the people in our camp were mortals—probably more. I couldn’t imagine me, Rodger, Father McArio—tossed into hell for eternity without a second thought.

  These gods were insane, vicious in their complete and utter apathy.

  “Hey.” Galen rested a hand on my arm. “Focus,” he said, holding me steady. “We didn’t do it. But they will.”

  My heart hammered in my chest. “So every mortal on the other side is going to get swallowed up.”

  I had friends on the other side, colleagues. These were people like me who had been drafted, taken, forced to give their lives for this war. The gods might not shoot us
outright, but we were still casualties.

  They hadn’t chosen this any more than I had.

  “Petra,” he said, his gaze eerily steady, “I’m going to be honest with you.”

  Oh no. “What?” How much worse could it be?

  Galen’s blue eyes held sadness and fear. “I have my suspicions that if it came to the point where we were going to lose the Mountain of Flames—” He paused, clearly trying to find a way to say it.

  I did it for him. “Our side will take out the mortals first.”

  The air whooshed out of me. I couldn’t comprehend it.

  Galen kept a firm grip on my arm. “If there’s any way I can join the fight, I will,” he said, shaking me with every word. “I’ll fight to the death. I’ll do everything I can to make sure you make it out of this.”

  I simply stared at him. Here I’d been fighting to keep my secret, to save my life, when I was really at risk of losing my soul.

  I shook off his grip as I ran my hands over my arms, feeling goose bumps, trying to think.

  Galen seemed almost relieved. “That’s why I was pushing you so hard. That’s why this prophecy is so important. It’s all we have.”

  Heaven above, he was right. Now not only did I have to deal with suicide doctors and Shrouds, but our next move could mean the difference between life and eternal damnation for me and everyone I cared about.

  But Galen wouldn’t let up. “Prophecies come in threes. We’ve completed two. We only need one more.”

  I felt sick. “How can you know that?”

  “I don’t,” he said with his trademark conviction. “Come here.” He gathered me in his arms. “I just feel it. I do. You have to believe it, too.”

  “You know who you’re talking to, right?” I asked, sinking into his embrace.

  “Yeah, and you’re pretty brilliant. There’s no one else I’d rather face this with.”

  I huffed, but he’d have none of it. “I mean it, Petra,” he insisted.

  He held me close, his cheek against the top of my head. “There’s skill in battle. The right amount of training, preparation, strategy. But after that, you have to listen to your gut. We’ll approach this next prophecy with intelligence and ability. We also need to be open to what we can’t see. In those spaces between, you find your edge. You find the truth.”