My Ride, I Love You

by Patrick Rangsimant

  “Getting these for your uncles? What about you? Not eating?”

  Tawan points at my bag of food while taking a big gulp of his coffee through a straw.

  “Ha, nah, doc. I’m not hungry. I’ll just go book the queue slot for the examination room and then eat in the cafeteria.” I reply and look at him with a smile. “I hope we get to see the doctor as early as it says on the appointment slips.”

  He nods and takes another gulp in silence.

  “Before, I used to get upset when Loong and Ar had to sit and wait for a very long time to see the doctor. Sometimes the slips said the examination started at eight, but the doctor didn’t appear until after nine, messing up everyone’s queue schedule.”

  “You said you used to… And what about now? You’re not upset anymore?”

  Tawan asks.

  I look at him. His tired eyes look a little bit more lively (must be because of the coffee) but his hair is still in a rumple. There’s this uncommon urge in me which makes my hand raise of its own volition as if to smooth down his hair. But I let it stay just a thought and stop my hand from moving, allowing myself to only smile and reply.

  “Well, now I know you’ve been so busy, getting no sleep even at four or five in the morning and running around with ruffled hair. I don’t dare to feel upset. Maybe when the doctors are late to the examination rooms, it’s because they’re saving someone’s life elsewhere. If we can wait, we’ll wait. There are so few doctors, we should handle them with care.”

  Finishing up, I whistle once.

  “Isn’t that right? Especially when you’re so tiny and didn’t get any sleep. I feel sorry for you and can’t get mad.”

  He smiles at me. “Thank you for understanding the doctors.”

  I nod. “Thank you too, for making me understand.”

  In that moment, when our eyes meet, it feels like the time has momentarily stopped. I can’t feel the presence of other people who’re walking around in the store. It feels like the whole world in front of me only has that pair of eyes, Tawan’s eyes. It’s like all other sounds are muted, and there is only the conversation between the two of us.

  “Fifty-eight baht, sir.”

  Until the cashier repeats the same thing again, that is. And then we are released from the spell.

  “Uh...yes, right.”

  I take out a bill to pay, and accept my changes.

  “Oh and...when is your uncles’ appointment? Which doctor is that?”

  Tawan asks. I hand him the appointment slips instead of replying. He takes them, his eyes scanning the text briefly before turning to me.

  “I’ll take care of these, so that you all can go home faster. Wait at the same place, I’ll be right there.”

  Then, he starts running the other way.

  …………

  “Oh, hey Mork. Where has that doctor gone?”

  Loong asks me when I hand him the bag with steamed buns and milk bottles.

  “Ah, I never knew you have a doctor friend. He looks good and seems to be a professional.”

  Ar comments before I can answer Loong.

  “He said he will do something about the examination queue. We wait here and he’ll be back.”

  I lower myself down into a seat next to my uncles, then let my eyes wander aimlessly among the passers-by.

  “Oh, man. Not using this chance to get some rest after staying up for the duty all night, but chose to help us with the queue instead, that damn doctor.” When I think of Tawan, my mouth involuntarily mumbles about him as well. I can’t help worrying about him, you know.

  “Mork...are you alright? What did you grumble about?”

  Ar gives me a strange look.

  “It’s the doc. He was up all night on a duty, you saw those tired eyes and messy hair. He just got some free time, but instead of catching a nap, he volunteered to take care of the appointment slips and secure our queue slots.” I shake my head. “Not taking good care of himself, this damn doctor.”

  “Uh-huh. But how did you know him?” Loong asks.

  “Well, Tawan was that passenger I once mentioned. The one who has a boyfriend.”

  “Ahhh!” Both of them exclaim and nod simultaneously.

  “And how did you guys become friends?”

  “Bah, it’s a very long story, Loong. I’ll tell you later.”

  I turn away, being in no mood to tell them anything. My eyes are fixed in the direction where Tawan ran off earlier. When will he return?

  “I wonder where he’s run off to take care of the queue for us, and how far it is. Hope he won’t fall or tumble over, because he looks so disoriented and sleepy.”

  Hmm… Or maybe I should run after and check on him. I shouldn’t have let him go alone. If he falls down, who will help him up?

  “Mork.” Loong pokes me on my shoulder. “Are you...alright? You’re spacing out.”

  I shoot him a look from the side of my eyes. “Ah, you, too? Why’d you ask me the same question Ar just did? What’s up?”

  “You’re acting all weird.” He comments.

  “How so?” I wonder what’s wrong with Loong and Ar. They’re strangely nagging. Just stop already, I’m busy worrying about the tiny doctor dude.

  “‘Cuz you’re acting like me...when I started to have feelings for Dej.”

  Chapter 9: Tawan

  “P'Ueai, P'Ueai.”

  I tap a senior nurse who’s the chief of the Outpatient Examination Subdivision while glancing at the clock. It is just past six o’clock and the regular work hours haven’t even started yet, but every morning when I walk through the outpatient lobby, I always see her. Everyday, she patrols the area, chatting with the waiting patients. It is a familiar sight to all resident doctors in the Internal Medicine Department.

  “Yes? Hi, Dr. Tawan. How may I help you?”

  She turns and smiles.

  “Um…” I hand her the two appointment slips.

  “My friend’s uncles have a check-up today. Could you please send them to my examination room? Early queue if that’s manageable.”

  Senior Ueai adjusts the angle of her eyeglasses and looks at the slips.

  “Sure, doc. No problem. They’re appointed with a resident, not a house staff. I can assign them to your room.” She looks up from the slips. “Your friend’s uncles? Why don’t they have the same last name?”

  I furrow my brows and take the slips back for a better look.

  Oh...damn right. Different last names.

  “Maybe they’re from different sides of the family. I haven’t noticed this either.”

  “I see. The appointment requires a blood sample. Doctor, have you sent them for blood drawing already?”

  I nod to her. “Yes, P'. I heard they’re going to get something to eat now. I’ll round the ward first, and then hurry down for examination by nine. I promise.”

  “Eh, what about morning conference? How can you make it by nine?”

  P'Ueai objects. By normal schedule, after rounding the ward, residents must attend a morning conference before they come downstairs to examine outpatients. And each conference (every morning) takes fairly long.

  “Oh, today I’m on morning OPD duty, so I don’t have to join the conference.”

  I explain and then estimate in my head the ratio of the patients to the doctors and hospital personnel, especially in the morning. As the medical examination queue becomes so crowded since before sunrise, the hospital has to manage its personnel to avoid having patients wait too long for their turns. Therefore, each morning, one or two doctors are exempted from the conference to let them start examining the patients right away. This way, the crowd in the queue gets thinned down a little before the rest of the doctors finish the conference and start doing the examination in full gear.

  “Then, get some food before coming here. If your blood sugar gets too low you’ll faint and become my burden. Hahaha!”

  She says with a laugh.

  “Okayyyy, I won’t make the same mistake twice.”
>
  I drawl and smile, then exit the Examination Subdivision. My mind darts back to the incident she just teased me about. It was my first week returning here for specialty training and I wasn’t acclimated to the workload. I was slow, and finished my ward round too late to get a meal. So, I forced myself to continue examining the patients while hungry, thinking I would get to eat at noon.

  But if you’ve been to public hospitals, especially those that are also medical schools, you might have noticed the amount of outpatients we get. With such numbers, it’s impossible for a doctor to sneak away for a meal. On that day, it was almost 2 p.m., yet I hadn’t finished half of the cases that were assigned to me. I kept pushing my limits and kept examining. I felt dizzy but I fought it. Then, while getting up from my chair to listen to the patient’s lungs, the world spun and I blacked out.

  I came around on an examination bed, with coworkers all over me. It turned out that the continual lack of food, water, and sleep, together with blood sugar level plummeting below the threshold, caused me to faint.

  That time, I was a burden to my fellow doctors and senior nurses, and also got an earful from the attending ward staff. Even Nadia was worried and rushed over from his own department to check on me.

  Of course, P'Por came as well. Back then, we weren’t going out yet, but others started to notice that he and I seemed closer than just being a senior and junior.

  He chimed in with those who scolded me, telling me never to miss my breakfast again.

  Since then, I promised myself no matter what it takes, I would never skip another breakfast.

  I look at the time, hmm...it’s past six already.

  The cafeteria should be open by now. I better invite Mork, his Loong, and his Ar for breakfast together. There is still time before ward rounding starts at eight. I should have something to eat, then shower and wash my face to refresh myself before work.

  …………

  “Hey, Mork.”

  All three of them are sitting at the same place and seem to be in the middle of a conversation. I don’t want to rudely intrude, so I give him a heads-up before approaching. Mork seems to wince a little at my voice. I have no idea what they were talking about, but now his uncles are both looking at me as one.

  “I got the queue for you.”

  I hand him the small cards written with queue numbers, one and two.

  “Your uncles will be seeing me. Today I’m on examination duty, so I asked for number one and two for them.”

  “Oh wow! Thanks a lot, doc.” He takes the cards and stares at them like they’re especially rare.

  “I’ve never seen a number one queue card from a hospital before. It’s beyond my wildest dreams. I thought it was a myth!” He says and sticks his tongue out at me jokingly.

  That earns him an eye roll from me, with amusement, not annoyance, though.

  “Meh, this is a public hospital, and a medical school on top of that. No matter how early you are, there’s always somebody before you.”

  “Or there are people who come to the hospital super early to snatch the early queue slots.”

  I nod. “There is that, too. Indeed. I saw that often.”

  I turn to Mork’s uncles. “Let’s go for breakfast first. The cafeteria should be open by now. After that, please wait in the examination lobby. I’ll go shower and check on the inpatients in the ward upstairs, and then rush back to the examination room. I promise everything will finish soon and you can go home by ten.”

  “Thank you very much, doctor.”

  The one who replies must be Mork’s Loong, as he looks evidently older than the other one. I bow my head to accept his gratitude before leading them to the cafeteria, even though I’m aware they know the way.

  I secretly note to myself that his Loong seems to exceptionally care about Ar. He keeps stopping and waiting for him. Although it’s just a common gesture for any average person, I don’t know why I feel like this common gesture has some special notions.

  And the fact they have different last names still has me curious. But I should not pry. I’m an outsider who can only look and observe. It’s none of my business to ask about it.

  “It’s still early and the cafeteria has just opened” I tell the three following behind me.

  “I think not all of the food stalls are open, but the curry and rice[39] stall is. Uncle and younger uncle, are you okay with that?”

  “Sure thing, doc. I don’t fuss about food. My honey won’t, either.”

  Loong replies while nodding towards Ar.

  “Yes, doc. Our family has no picky eater.” And then both of them head straight to the only curry and rice stall that’s open right now.

  Eh…? Did I mishear something?

  I look to Mork with a confused and quizzical expression.

  “Oh.” He nods like he’s just recalled something.

  “Haha, I forgot to tell you, doc. My Loong is mom’s older brother. But Ar is not dad’s younger brother. He’s Loong’s S.O. In case you’ve noticed their last names are different.”

  “Hmm? You mean, Ar is your Loong’s boyfriend?”

  “Yes, doc. They’ve been living together for a long time.”

  “Uh...and you?” I glance at Mork’s two uncles and then look back at him questioningly.

  “Me? What about me, doc? Are you asking if my darling is a guy too? Nah, doc. I’m single and my most recent darling was a woman.”

  His answer almost makes me burst into laughter. Luckily, I manage to stifle it.

  “Crap, no! I mean are you okay with how your Loong and Ar are spouses like this?”

  Oh hmm… Finishing my question, I realize that I shouldn’t have asked. He seems explicitly and absolutely okay with it.

  “I dunno, doc. I’ve known them since I was a kid. Ar is like a family, so I don’t think it’s weird or anything. But…” he lowers his volume a little. “Hell, when you told me that a bottom is the one who gets it from behind, I had a mental image about how he must be getting it from Loong, and I couldn’t sleep all night!”

  “Owwie! Mork.” Now I can’t hold it in and just laugh out loud.

  “You’ve been with them for a long time and you never thought about it before?”

  He shakes his head. “Nope, doc. And everyone says I’m a dull person.”

  I smile at him. “I think a dull guy is charming.”

  “Really, doc?”

  “Why would I lie to you? Come, let’s get some food.”

  Then, I make my way to the stall to choose my food. There are only two choices right now, hard-boiled egg in sweet spice stew and chayote stir-fry, which don’t belong with each other in the slightest bit.

  I have a habit of coordinating the food on my plate. I decide whether the combination can go together or can’t. If they don’t go well together by my standards, I won’t order the combination. Therefore, right now I have only two options, either rice and boiled egg stew or rice and chayote stir-fry.

  “Chayote stir-fry on top of rice, please.”

  I tell the vender, going for a vegetable dish.

  “Doc, why not get some protein?”

  Mork leans in and asks.

  “They don’t match, you know. I’ll just eat something else during lunch or dinner instead.”

  I might be saying that, but in reality I don’t even know if I’ll get a chance to. The vendor knows me well and she adds more rice on my plate. She knows sometimes doctors don’t get to have lunch, and thus we often stuff ourselves as much as we can at breakfast.

  “Sweet spice stew with two eggs, please. And chayote stir-fry, just the veggie, no sauce please.”

  “Will they go well together? Mork.”

  I look at the boiled eggs on his plate and the stir-fry. The vendor tried her best to get vegetables without the sauce, but still couldn’t completely avoid it. And now on Mork’s plate, stew soup and stir-fry sauce are mixing together. They don’t seem to match.

  “Dunno, doc. But it’s okay for me. When I was in monk
hood, my elder monk mentor taught me to get all the nutrition in one meal, and not to rely on the hope for the next meal. Because we might not get it, or we may even die before the next meal comes.”

  “You used to be ordained in Buddhism?”

  “Yes, doctor.” He turns to flash a smirk, showing his canine teeth. “You can also call me Tid[40] Mork.”

  “I’ve never been a monk.” I comment.

  Among us the three siblings, only my big brother, Saengtai,[41] has received an ordination. My little brother and I haven’t been through monkhood yet and it seems our parents don’t have any preference on this matter.

  “Well, you’ve been studying so hard, right? There’s no time for ordination. Come on, doc, let’s eat.” Mork picks up two pairs of spoons and forks, one for me, before heading to the table where his uncles are sitting.

  “Just sit and eat, doc. I’ll get some water.” He puts his plate down and goes to a cooler tank.

  “Hey, no way.” I put my plate on the table and rush after him. “You can’t carry four glasses of water all by yourself. Let me help.”