My Ride, I Love You
Page 24
“Ehhh, shouldn’t they realize it without needing you to tell?” I object.
“In that case, they’re probably really dense or…” He pauses and stares at me. “Maybe they know it but pretend not to, to avoid having to care about how I feel towards them.” With that, he shrugs and spears a piece of grilled chicken with his fork and puts it on his plate.
“You’re thinking too much.” I take a piece of grilled chicken too.
“Who would do that?”
“Doc, I’m nothing but a hired motorcycle driver.”
Mork cuts up the chicken and has one bite. “Who would want a mototaxi boyfriend?”
I put down my utensils, feeling a little miffed.
“I told you not to speak like that. You’re not ‘nothing but a mototaxi.’ It’s only that you’re still a mototaxi right now. Do not look down on yourself like this again.”
I give him a serious frown to let him know I’m really unhappy about this.
“I hate it when you look down on yourself.”
Mork sets his utensils down and puts up his hands in surrender.
“Whoaaa, doc, take it easy. I’m sorry. So sorry. I surrender. I won’t say it, ever, again.”
“Promise me, then!”
I repeat with a stern look.
“I promise, doctor. From today on, I’ll say right now I’m still a mototaxi. I won’t look down on myself anymore.” Mork gives me an impish grin and drinks from his glass. “You’re scarily stern, doc.”
“Believe you me, you haven’t seen the scariest of me yet. This is just moderate.” I snicker.
“So, I’m still lucky!” He laughs too. “But honestly, I can’t imagine if anyone will ever like me back. I don’t even think I can really like myself.”
“It doesn’t matter whether other people will like you or not, Mork. Don’t you see, if you don’t like yourself, you must make yourself a better person, or at least meet your own expectations.”
“Meet my own...expectations?” He prolongs his sentence like he’s deep in thoughts. “I think I will like myself more if...I had more education. Deep down, I regret quitting college and coming to work in Bangkok. I was shortsighted.”
“That’s easy to fix. Pursue further education, then.” I shrug at Mork’s simple problem.
“Doc, look at my face. I’m this old, what can I study? If I go for a high voc. cert. now, I’ll have to sit among the young ones. They will ask me, ‘Loong, what are you doing in our class?’” He laughs half jokingly.
I roll my eyes. “Mork, did you forget something? I’m older than you, man!”
Mork shakes his head. “Don’t compare us. Your study peers are of your own age. The proverb saying no one is too old to learn might be valid, doc. But in reality, it’s a bit awkward if we have to sit in the class with youngsters, no?”
“When I first became a medical student, I was fifteen.”
I start telling him my history.
“And then?” He raises his eyebrows questioningly.
“I was the youngest new medical student that year. The oldest student was thirty-three.”
“Thirty-three years old? And did he fit in with the young classmates?”
I nod. “And he studied very well. On top of that, he took on the role of everyone’s big brother. When we had problems, we turned to him for advice. Especially when we were disheartened, we would sit and talk with him. Eventually, he graduated with us and now he’s taking specialty training in surgery.”
“Trust me, Mork. No one is ever too old to learn.”
I emphasize again.
“Thank you, doc.” He smiles. “I will think about it.”
“Think and also do it, man!”
“Yes sirrrr.” He makes a surrender gesture again. “Okay, I’m scared of your now, doc.”
Mork’s phone rings and he checks the screen. His face apparently lights up, making me curious who’s calling him. He answers the phone.
“Whassup? … Uh-huh. Oh, really? Yah, sure. Of course, yah. Yah.” He utters a lot of yes and it’s funny.
“I’ll look forward to it.” Then, he hangs up and gives me a smile.
“Doc… In the next few days, you gotta ride with P'Fueang. I’ll take a couple of days off.”
…………
“And then?”
Nadia raises his eyebrows at me.
“Eh...don’t you think that’s strange?”
I am quite disappointed. I thought if I told Nadia the story, he would understand me.
“Strange? What’s strange about it? I’m confused. Or did you skip any part of it?”
Nadia still looks quizzical, not getting my point.
Come onnnn, I’m starting to get fed up with my buddy.
“It’s strange that suddenly there was a mysterious phone call, and Mork looked apparently jubilant, and then disappeared. He’s not coming to work even now, it’s already Saturday. He said he would take a couple of days off. It’s been almost a week, why isn’t he back yet?”
“Or maybe…” I wonder. “Mork went on a trip with the person he secretly likes.”
Nadia rolls his eyes at me.
“Tawan, hello, wake up! Be realistic. He said it’s a one-sided love. He hasn’t told the person yet, no? What could make him so lucky to suddenly get to go on a vacation with them?”
Finishing his comment, Nadia draws on his coffee from the straw.
“Your mind is in such a muddle, Tawan.”
Nadia has the right of it. I try to stop my jumble of thoughts for now. But it’s difficult. Whenever I’m free, my mind keeps going back to the matter of Mork’s disappearance every time.
“Oh, and where has Mr. Barista gone?”
“Dunno. He didn’t say.”
I can sense there’s a hint of frustration and apprehension in Nadia’s voice.
“Eh, he didn’t tell you where he was going?” I ask.
“Nay, he didn’t. And why must he tell me? It’s not like we’re in a relationship.”
The dialogue is so perfect, as if it comes straight out of a love story among teen novels. I guess Nadia has rehearsed this for a long time, in case someone brings up the question, making it roll off his tongue so smoothly and naturally.
“I thought you two were going out already.” I shrug.
“Since he hasn’t said it yet, I’ll never be crazy enough to assume it and get my hopes up.” This is so obvious, his tone carries a hint of hurt from negligence… Actually, it’s not just a hint, it’s apparently a feeling of hurt. Too bad, it’s me who’s listening, not the actual Mr. Mayom.
When we run out of what to say, the coffee shop which is busy and loud suddenly becomes startlingly quiet.
“After this...are you going anywhere?”
Thanks to Nadia, the situation seems to lighten up with the change of topic, delivering us from these strangely heavy emotions.
I shrug. “I dunno, you wanna go for a walk?”
Nadia shakes his head. “I have a duty, darling. Did you forget? I told you earlier.”
Oh… That’s right. I forgot.
“So I’m all alone today again.”
“Huh? What about P'Por?”
“He’s going home.” With such a brief answer, Nadia still gets it.
If P'Por says “going home” it means this is his family time. He will go home to see his parents, dine together, and either come back late in the evening or stay the night with his parents. It is an agreement between us, that I won’t intrude upon his family time.
“Then, why don’t you visit Mork at his house? If you want to know, just see him to find out.”
Nadia suggests.
“Ehhhh, is that gonna be okay?”
Though I say that, it is...a very interesting option.
“Hey, Tawan, can I say something blunt and tactless with you on this?”
“Nadia, when on earth have you ever been tactful to me on anything? Among all of my friends, you’re the only one who’s never NOT blunt.”
“Hey, no way.” I automatically argue. “I never feel like that with Mork.”
“Oh, yeahhhhh?” Nadia prolongs his syllable. “If you’re only friends, when your friend says he likes someone, you’ll be happy for him. But your face says it, you’re feeling jealous. And you’re feeling jealous because deep down, you secretly like him.”
“No wayyyy!” I wail, turning a few heads of other customers.
“I’m in no damn way secretly liking him, for real!” I lower my voice to keep it between just the two of us.
“Dawwww, keep telling yourself that!” Nadia crosses his arms and raises an eyebrow at me like a boss. “I’ve been your friend since freshman year, after we’ve barely finished being young and stupid high schoolers. I can read all kinds of emotions your face shows. Look, perhaps I know your facial expressions better than you. I’m telling you!”
I stay quiet. I really have no come back for that. Frankly, I agree with him. I’m only too afraid to admit it, because I already have a boyfriend.
“But I already have P'Por. Going to Mork’s house is a bit…”
“Pfft, Tawan, your P'Por is having his own private time now, isn’t he?”
I nod in place of a reply.
“If he can have his private time when you can’t intrude, then why can’t you have your effing private time to spend as you like as well? It’s obvious you want to see Mork. Then, go see him!”
Finishing that, Nadia gestures with his head at my empty coffee cup. “You finished your coffee. There’s no excuse for dawdling here anymore. Go see Mork. Go now. If you want to know, you must ask. If you want to meet him, just go meet him.”
“Uh…” I reply idly. “Okay, I will think about it.”
Nadia gives me an epic eye-roll.
“Quit thinking about it, bitch. Go right now. It is an order!!”
I have to yield, laughing. “Meh, at first you’re all team-P'Por. Why are you now a team-Win-Mister-Mork?” I tease.
But he gives an extremely long sigh while shaking his head…
“Tawan, you got it wrong. I’ve never been a team-P'Por. And I’m not a team-Win-Mister-Mork, either. There’s only one team I’m rooting for, and it’s your team. Team-Tawan.”
His tone is so firm, I stop laughing.
“Whatever and whoever you like and as long as they’re good for you, I will always support them. But when something is fishy, I’ll keep quiet unless you want my opinion. Then, I will speak up.”
I think of all the time we’ve been friends. Right, Nadia always did that. I’ve been feeling fortunate all along for having him as a best friend. But today, after he said that, it makes me feel very, really, and extremely lucky among the luckiest to have such a best friend.
“Therefore, Tawan,” he concludes, “There’s nothing wrong in spending your free time, during the day P'Por declares his private day, to see a friend whom you want to see. If you want to know where Mork has gone or what he’s doing, just go take a look. It’s simple.”
“Thanks, Nadia.” I get up from the table.
“Just go. And don’t forget to tell me about it later.” Nadia wiggles an eyebrow while shooing me with a hand wave.
Okay...I’ve decided.
I will visit Mork at his house.
But...there’s one problem.
Where. Is. Mork’s. House?
…………
“Hello, P'Fueang. You know where Mork lives?”
I’m back at the same place, the Win-motorcyle kiosk at the start of that soi. Luckily, the man I’m looking for is in today. P'Fueang is the sole person I would dare to ask for this kind of information.
“‘Course, I know. His home is a motorcycle repair shop nearby. Everyone in this station knows where.” He replies. “Anyway, ya not working today, doc? In this outfit I can’t tell yer a doctor. Look more like a university student.”
“Haha, thanks. Doctors don’t work everyday forever. Today I have a day off.”
“And why d’ya ask about Mork’s home?”
Here comes...the inevitable question.
Which I don’t know how to answer…
“Ummm…”
I drawl while trying to find a good excuse.
“Ya wanna see Mork, doc?”
P'Fueang shoots me a direct question which stuns me for a moment. But he’s got it right, I want to see him. It is the truth. And it’s not strange for friends to see each other, why did I even try to find an excuse instead of being honest?
“Yep, right. I want to see him. He’s been absent for so many days.”
I reply honestly.
“Hehhh, you miss him?”
He teases but I give no answer to that.
“Because he suddenly said he won’t be driving for a few days. P'Fueang, do you know why?”
I dodge his question, not saying yes or no to it.
“I know why...but I think you should go visit him, and you’ll understand. C’mon, doctor, hop on and I’ll send ya there.”
When he puts it like that, it really piques my curiosity even more.
He hands me a safety helmet. I accept it and put it on before getting into the passenger seat.
Whatever the reason there is, I will figure it out soon.
…………
Mork’s home is not far from the mototaxi station, only two side streets away. The front of his residence is really a motorcycle garage. Perhaps because it is Sunday, the shop looks empty and quiet. I turn and pay the fare to P'Fueang before walking in. The shop smells strongly of pungent engine oil.
“Hi, P'. Who you looking for?”
A small voice greets me.
I look down and find an adorable boy who seems to be about four or five years old.
“Um… I’m looking for Mork. Is Mork home?”
I reply with a smile. He’s so cute and his face seems familiar, like I’ve seen him before…
Oh wait… Nope, I’ve never seen him before.
But this boy…looks like Mork.
“Oh, ‘kay.” He nods.
Then, he turns and yells.
“Papa! Someone here looking for you, papa.”
Chapter 16: Mork
“I heard you, okayyyy. Who is it this early in the day?”
I groggily make my way to the front, having just woken up a bit ago. I usually wake up early on Saturday when I work, but I took today off because this imp came all the way here from Chumphon to visit. I called off work so I can spend a lot of time with him. Last night I stayed up late playing with him, so this morning I’m still in a daze.
“Hurry, papa. He standing waiting long time already.”
The imp rushes me more. He’s so energetic. Last night we went to sleep a bit before 2 a.m. and he still woke up full of energy early this morning, as if he had replaced his battery with a brand-new one. Whereas I’m so sleepy my eyes threaten to close all the time, my legs staggering to bring me to the front of the shop.
“Who’s here to see me?” I rub my eyes and look against the light.
“Uh...Mork… Is this your son?”
Hmm… A familiar voice.
I rub my eyes and look again carefully.
Oh shoot! It’s Tawan.
“Ehhhh? Doctor!”
That’s all I can muster to say. My squinting eyes from before are now wide open. All the sleepiness that was weighing my eyelids has all been dispersed and replaced with shock.
Is this the real Tawan? Or am I still dreaming? How can he be visiting me on Saturday morning?
“Yep, Mork. It’s me. You haven’t answered me yet, is this your son?”
Tawan tilts his head to look at the imp clinging to his leg.
“When did you have a baby? Don’t tell me you had a baby with your ex that you mentioned the o
ther day?”
“Eek, doc, nah, doc. Welp! Uh, this is a misunderstanding!”
I blunder in desperation to correct that and bend down to pick up the little boy, peeling him from Tawan’s leg. My “son” gets familiar with people too easily. He just suddenly clung to a stranger’s leg because the stranger looks adorable. Did my trait rub off on him?
“How can it be a misunderstanding? This boy calls you papa. How else can I interpret that?”
Not only by words, Tawan also looks a little sulky it makes me shudder. It’s not that cold this morning, but the look on his face when he stares at me sends a chill down my spine.
“W...w...well, doc, uh, wait. There’s more to it. I can explain. But first, have you said hello to the doctor? Come on, say hi, do it nicely.”