by Sara Schoen
When they registered that I had been in a fight, their gaze fell to my hands. Both were coated in blood, now dried to my skin and fingernails. Their eyes grew wide and I’d move on without giving them a full explanation. I wasn’t going to explain what happened to each agent separately. If they wanted the story then they’d have to wait for me to tell the group. As I passed through the crowd, sometimes the only thing I said was, “It’s not my blood.”
As I traveled through the crowd, the overwhelming amount of voices drifted down to a limited few. The screaming between agents turned to whispers as I ascended the stairs to meet Demon. I didn’t need to read mind to know what the agents were thinking. I could hear my name being passed around and mentions of the blood I was wearing like a medal. The entire room’s mood changed as I took my place next to Demon. The anxiety and fear had shifted to mourning and relief. It’s like they know what’s coming…
“I thought it would take a lot more to shut them up.” I gave Demon a warm smile as he gave me a quick once over. “If I had known it would be this easy, I would’ve shown up to meetings covered in blood sooner.”
“What can I say?” He smiled at me, but I didn’t bother answering his rhetorical question. He would eventually, he always did. “Blood tends to get people’s attention, especially when our leader is dead and everyone knows there’s a mole in CIRA.” He looked over the agents, who were now silent, for a moment before turning back to me. “What do we tell them?”
“The truth.” I turned to look over the crowd of agents. “That’s the only thing we can do at this point. They deserve it after what CIRA’s been through, and I honestly don’t think I could keep lying to them after this. There’s just too much to even consider not telling them the truth.”
“Do we know the whole truth?”
I sighed, allowing my shoulders to relax for the first time since the fight. Yet, they were still heavy from the weight of everything I learned and how hard it was to handle the information. “Nope.” The P plopped at the end, emphasizing my uncertainty. “At least not fully, but with Rum dead I think this as good as we will get.”
“Rum?” The shock in his voice echoed how I felt, but she’s right. I should have seen it. “Are you sure?”
I nodded, which only lowered Demon’s demeanor more. A soft murmur started to rumble through the crowd as they grew unsettled. I leaned on the railing for support, dreading what I was about to explain to everyone. “What else can we do? They’re waiting for us to tell them something. I don’t even know how to begin? How do we explain this?”
“Then why not show them instead?” I leaned over the railing slightly to look behind Demon. Seeker was helping Renegade limp toward us with a large smile on his face and holding something in his hand. Though, whatever they were about to say was overcast by my anger. Did everyone feel the need to disobey my orders?
“You’re supposed to be in the hospital,” I whisper-yelled through grit teeth. Renegade gave me a ‘I know I did a bad thing, but you still love me’ puppy gaze. I quickly shifted my gaze to Seeker, who brushed off my glare without a problem. “You were supposed to take him to the hospital, what are you doing here?”
Seeker shrugged. “He’s more convincing than you. He said Rum had been looking for something in Sharp Shooter’s office before she knocked you out so we went to looking and may have found something worthwhile. So how about you listen before you rip into us?”
“I have no idea what’s on it, but if Rum wanted it then I want to know what’s on it.” Renegade gave me his puppy dog eyes again, practically saying “please” without a word. Then he lifted his hand to show us a flash drive as if it would solve everything.
I groaned, knowing this was a lost cause to fight him. “Fine, but afterward you go to the hospital and get looked at.”
“Deal.” He smiled impishly, implying that he knew he won. He’d hear about this later.
“Demon, put this up somehow. I don’t care how you do it, just make it happen.” He nodded and left without a word. I sighed heavily, looking at Renegade for support. “Now the hard part.”
I turned around to face the agents below me. We were still missing many agents, whether still locked out due to the lockdown, unable to leave the hospital, or wandering the halls. Wherever they were, this news would travel fast. I have no doubt about that.
“Thank you all for not killing each other while I was gone.” A low chuckle resonated from the crowd, but quickly dissipated. “I have hard news to tell you, and I honestly don’t know how to begin.” I took in a sharp breath. “As most of you know, we had a mole in CIRA. Well, I’m pleased to inform you that she’s been handled.” An explosion of questions erupted and refused to die down. I did everything I could to get them to stop talking. If they just stopped then I could explain, but I can’t talk over everyone. “Listen to me!” No one did. Screams erupted asking who the mole was, what happened, and why they did it. I don’t know why they bothered asking, it’s not like they would be able to hear me.
Thankfully, I didn’t have to find a way to silence everyone on my own. Suddenly, Sharp Shooter’s voice echoed from the speaker system and quieted everyone with confusion and shock.
“Hello to whoever finds this recording. I hope it gets to the agents rather than the mole, but I just have to hope at this point because I don’t want to give anything away.” He cleared his throat awkwardly before taking a deep breath. “I hate that this has to happen like this, but after Night Stripe called with the information she and Spit Fire had recovered, along with what Fire Fox had said happened at the raid, it confirmed my worst fear. An agent of CIRA is actually an agent for the cartels.” He paused, taking in a deep breath. Letting the air hit the microphone and attack my ear drums. “Rum, if you find this, I hope one of my agents is behind you ready to end you for what you’ve done to this agency and its people.”
A collective gasp raced through the crowd. Whispers sounded from around the room, disbelief and horror seemed to be a resounding theme from what I could hear. Rum was well-known, friendly with most, and now had ruined everything she worked for, and still failed.
“I can’t tell anyone what I know because to prevent her from getting away, I have to give my life...”
I swear I heard a few people start crying. Sharp Shooter had touched so many lives and acted as support for every agent. To have him sacrifice himself for us ripped out my heart. We gave the ultimate sacrifice when another agent sent us to the wolves. Rum tried to ruin the comradery between agents, but she didn’t know we’d come back stronger than ever, and then I’d find the people who sent her to us and return the favor.
“I won’t be leaving the agency on its own though. I have been training someone to take over for me, he just doesn’t know it.” Sharp Shooter paused, a heavy breath creating static over the system. “I leave the agency to Renegade. I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you sooner, Renegade, but when Spit Fire told me the target I had on my back I knew I couldn’t say anything. If I did, then you would have been targeted as well. You’ll need a lot of help, but Demon will be prepared to assist you where needed and I’ve left everything I have in Raider’s room. You’ll just have to find it first.” He chuckled, seeming to lighten his own mood and subsequently mine; even as a tear slipped down my cheek. “Renegade, you’re too known in the mafia aspect of our work now and with your injury from the Cardoza raid, you’d have to be put out of commission. So, to keep you and future agents safe, I leave you in charge. You know how they work and I believe that you’ll know how to run CIRA properly.”
I turned to Renegade, who had a mix of shock and overwhelming pressure come over him as Sharp Shooter wished everyone good luck. Renegade met my gaze as Sharp Shooter bid one last farewell to everyone listening. He seemed to be holding himself together, but everyone around us wasn’t so lucky. I even saw a few agents collapse to the ground, praying and just mourning our lose. Anyone who wasn’t crying was moved, especially when he begged us to forgive him for something that wasn
’t his fault.
“I hope you all can forgive me for letting a mole into the agency and for having to keep this a secret. You’ve all been amazing to work with, and I wouldn’t change anything. In fact, I’d do it all over again just for the chance to meet everyone just one more time.” The recording ended with a click and left me wanted more. Just to hear him one more time, to hear his encouragement, and to thank him for all he did for me and the other agents.
Renegade cleared his throat, bringing my attention back to him. He wobbled his way to the railing to stand in front of the agents. I could see the gravity of the situation resting on his shoulders. How can he handle this pressure? He has to take over from Sharp Shooter and make it seamless. He needs to give the agents support, understanding, and motivation. That’s a lot to throw at anyone. Especially someone who didn’t know he was taking over an entire agency.
“I have nothing to say that will make this loss any easier. I especially can’t say anything that makes it easier to believe that Rum was the mole and she’s the reason we lost a lot of good agents. All I can say is,” he lifted his head to look over the agents. “It’s over. Now we move on. We rebuild and prepare for the next fight, and we do it together just like Sharp Shooter would have wanted us to.” Slowly, a chorus of cheers and clapping erupted below us. He smiled and motioned me forward to join him. “Now we have to get all the agents back home where they belong. They have a lot to learn about what we just went through and we have a lot to do to make sure this doesn’t happen again. And to do that, we do it together. This will not break us, it will make us stronger.”
As the cheers continued, I leaned onto Renegaded and pulled him down to my level. “I’ll be here to help you. You don’t have to do this alone. I’m not going anywhere.” His hair lightly brushed my forehead as be bent down to hear me.
“Glad to hear it,” he said with a warm, welcoming smile. It’s as if he had waited a long time to hear me say that. “I wouldn’t want anyone else beside me but you.” He wrapped his arm around me, whether for support for his injured leg or to welcome me as his partner, I wasn’t sure. Though I’d like to believe it was the latter, even if he won’t admit it quite yet. We knew we couldn’t do this without the other by our side.
And I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Chapter 30
*Three Months Later*
Renegade had taken control of his new position as Sharp Shooter’s replacement, and while the transition wasn’t easy, he handled it well. He needed stitches and minor surgery on his leg, but he was up and moving without crutches now. And oh, how thankful he was for it. He hated the crutches. He complained the entire time and a few times I caught him trying to walk without them. What an idiot. He eventually gave up trying to push his healing and just relented to using the crutches, but the second the nurses said he didn’t need them anymore, they ended up in the trash. I think he did it to relieve tension, using his injury for humor rather than sympathy. It really pushed the other agents, most of who were now on active missions again.
Meanwhile, I was still in CIRA helping him reorganize and acting as a second in command while we transitioned directors. Renegade took every opportunity to try to cheer me up, but that was a difficult task. It still bothered me to know how much I trusted her and how I meant nothing to her. How could she throw us away for a cartel? And not only me, but Hess. When I first met her, she seemed torn up to have lost her mentor, yet she’s the reason Hess died. She killed someone she looked up to, abandoned someone fought on an almost daily basis, and almost ruined CIRA...It didn’t make sense to me, but I doubted it ever would. The good news is, it’s finally over, I thought as I watched over the recruit’s final training session.
After today, they would be split among the teams who had survived the last raid and Rum’s spree through CIRA. A wave of guilt crashed over me, practically drowning me in that instant. After we heard Sharp Shooter’s last message that we found the agents who had fought to protect Sharp Shooter from Rum. Each of them was slain and tossed aside as if she never cared about them, only one had survived long enough to make it to the hospital, but she couldn’t be saved. We lost thirteen agents and our director to her alone. Who needs to fight a cartel when agents can turn rogue and kill just as easily?
I sighed, overcome with grief. How could I not have seen it? How did I ignore the signs? “Because I didn’t want to believe it,” I answered for myself as Shadow won her match against a fellow recruit. She raised her hands into the air in triumph and glanced to me with a bright smile on her face. I’m glad she became my recruit, even if she is trouble…
“You know, it’s bad to talk to yourself. People will think you’ve gone crazy,” Renegade chimed, joining me on the catwalk to wait for the recruits to finish. He had taken an active part in the recruit’s training since taking over. Honestly, I think he did it more than his actual job, but he made sure they felt safe and cared for in CIRA. I could see why Sharp Shooter left him in charge, he cared for all the agents, including the young ones, and Renegade had a lot of the same traits I found endearing in Sharp Shooter and wanted to be myself. He’s going to make a great director.
“Is that why you implemented mental health days? You were worried about my wellbeing?” I smirked at him with an incredulous glare, knowing he didn’t do it for me. Though I’m sure he’d like me to believe that.
“That too, but I worry about everyone now. A hazard of the job I guess.” He shrugged as he inched closer to me. His arm grazed mine in his new position, but he didn’t move again. His gaze remained focused on the recruits. “I also couldn’t keep in contact with my family knowing everyone else couldn’t. I think it will really help them if they choose to use it.”
I couldn’t imagine someone not taking the opportunity to connect with someone from the outside world. Though, most agents had a troubled past and might rather not return to any part of their old life. They have the choice. I hope they find someone, even if it’s just another agent they want to keep in touch with.
Renegade had made the requirements clear. There could only be one person and the person chosen had to keep it a secret from everyone else, if they didn’t they would be killed. Yeah, like Renegade would ever do that. Though the threat would keep most of them quiet. The person also had to not ask what we did, where CIRA was, and know the job was dangerous. It felt like a lot like what I imagined some military relationships being like.
At least that’s what the Rickers said whenever I went to see them. They never knew when I was coming, if I’d come back, or what mission I had just been on. Though, I think they enjoyed when I brought Sandstorm to meet them. Mr. Ricker cried when he saw Grant. He was just as surprised as I was to see him alive and well. When he thought he lost Grant, he took the loss better than usual because he still had saved me, but to know Grant had made it as well was almost too much for him to bare. Fire Fox had reacted in a similar manner when he was finally able to see Grant again. Tears, disbelief, and filled with so many questions.
I can only think about agents who had been recruited years ago. How were they going to explain this to anyone? Their stories were long buried and everyone had moved on by now, right? Would they open those old wounds again? Only time will tell. I glanced at the recruits again when Demon’s voice commanded them to continue working. I watched him move around the room to give the recruits their last exercise.
Demon would be heading to Russia as Katya’s permanent bodyguard after completion of training today. He was excited to go and stay with Katya, though I think he would still miss CIRA sometimes. He’d keep her in charge of the mafias over there and make sure they worked with us rather than against us. We’d lose him here, but he’d still do great work for CIRA while being with Katya. The only thing keeping him here right now were the recruits. He had a strong attachment to this last group, but I tried to make him see that he was only upset because they were his last trainees. He won’t miss them when he’s gone. They’re too much stress, I thought looking for
Shadow in the throng of recruits.
Shadow would continue her training with me so she could one day be on her own team. She still had a lot to learn, but she picked up everything I gave her quickly. She’d be on her own team in no time. I tried not to let that thought bother me. Not because I felt replaced, Renegade had made it clear that would never be something I’d have to worry about again, but because she’d be on her own. She could come to me when she needed, but I had a feeling she wouldn’t need me very often. She’s more than capable of doing it herself. I just wish I could teach her being a lone wolf wasn’t always the best choice, but some things she’s got to learn on her own.
Shadow planned to take Renegade’s new mental health day to get in contact with the friend who got away; the who saved her life. He wasn’t close by so she couldn’t visit him, but she could call him on her assigned day. I just hope it won’t make the transition from her past life to CIRA harder for her, but only time will tell.
Thankfully, not all agents were taking to an outside source for help. Spit Fire and Sandstorm were each other’s point of contact, and because they were okay with announcing their relationship a few other inter-agency relationships had come out. I wasn’t surprised by the couples, but so much for keeping it a secret. Though most weren’t really a secret to begin with. I leaned closer to Renegade, who quickly kissed the top of my head before focusing on the recruits again.
Some agents were already heartbroken because the people they contacted couldn’t welcome them back to their life, but others were eager to have the agent back in their life. Camo had made contact with her brother again after they ran away so long ago, and starting a relationship with him again, but he was constantly moving so it was hard for her to keep track of him. Last I heard, he was still in the mafia business, but not as closely as he used to be. I knew she was worried about him, but everyone finds their own path in life, and they live with it every day.