by Jessica Ames
“Happy?” I ask.
She nods. “Yes. Are you?”
“I like having you against me.”
“How’s your face?”
It hurts, but I’m not telling her that. I don’t want her to feel bad for what happened, especially when I deserved it. I should have talked to Gunner, rather than dropping the bombshell on him that I was claiming his kid. He might have been more receptive to me if I had. I know what my brothers think of me—I’m a cocky bastard who doesn’t care about other people’s feelings. It couldn’t be further from the truth, though I am a man who sees what he wants and takes it.
And I want her. I wanted Carla the moment I met her. I love the fact she’s sassy and doesn’t take my crap. That’s the kind of woman I need in my life.
“How did I get so lucky?” she asks.
“Well, I am a good catch,” I tell her on a smirk.
I know her eyes are rolling, even though she’s not looking at me. “You would think that.”
“You don’t agree?”
“I think you have a big head that I’m not making any bigger.”
“My head is proportional to the rest of my body.”
“You’re a nut,” she tells me and I grin as she leans back against me. I could sit like this forever.
“You want something to eat?” I ask her.
She shakes her head. “I already ate something, but you should get something if you want.”
“I’m good, Kitten.”
Carla peers up at me and I want to capture her mouth, but she speaks before I can. “Is it weird that I miss being on the road?”
“I miss having you to myself.”
“I miss that too,” she says softly.
I stroke my hands over her belly as she nuzzles against me. “Love you, baby.”
She moves so she can look up at me and her mouth comes to mine. She tastes of the beer she’s drinking and a unique taste that is just Carla. I want to devour her whole, sink into her tight pussy, but I’m also aware her father—my president—is somewhere in the grounds of the clubhouse and the last thing I need is another black eye for disrespecting his daughter.
There was a time when I would have just had my fill in front of everyone, not caring who saw my ass naked, but I can’t do that to Carla. She’s not a club bunny. She’s not someone I can just use and discard, as I have done in the past. I’m not proud of the man I was before her, but I won’t apologize for it either. I did what I did and I’ve done a lot of shit in my life I can’t take back, but for the first time ever I feel like I’m on the right track.
I want to be a better man for her.
“I love you too,” she whispers and her words hit me square in the chest. Hearing them unravels me, makes me feel something I’ve never felt before in my life.
Whole.
I kiss her, needing to feel her close, needing her and she thankfully gives me all that sweet back. My heart races as she threads her fingers through my hair, pulling me closer.
“I wish we were alone right now,” she says with a lazy smile that makes my balls ache. I wish that too. I want to take her, feel her pussy around my cock while I love on her, but that’s not going to happen yet. Maybe once we get upstairs. She’s sleeping in my bed. She doesn’t know it yet, but it’s going to happen. I’ve got used to having her in my arms in bed and I’m not letting go of that just because our road trip is over. I’m not done with her yet.
My phone vibrates in my pocket, breaking the moment and I shift her slightly so I can pull it out. When I peer at the screen, my heart rate picks up for a different reason. I wriggle out from under Carla, muttering, “I have to take this.”
She doesn’t seem to notice my change in demeanor, just lets out a sleepy, “Okay.”
I move away from the fire and over to the shadows, my stomach filling with ice as I swipe my finger over the screen.
“Janie?”
“I need you to come and look after the kids.”
“Why can’t you?”
“I’m busy,” she snaps. “You want to be their father—act like it.”
I growl a curse and run a hand over my face. “Fine, I’ll be there in ten. Don’t fucking leave them alone,” I let the threat and between us, then I hang up.
“Fucking hell,” I mutter.
I glance at Carla who is falling asleep in front of the barrel before my eyes scan for Gunner. Finding him talking to Grim and Bullet, relief floods me. He’ll take care of her. Meanwhile, I need to take care of my kids, who I haven’t yet mentioned to Carla. I’m guessing her dad hasn’t either, because she hasn’t brought it up, but we’re way past time for me to come clean about the fact I’m a father who is still technically very married.
Fuck.
Twenty
Carla
Finn doesn’t come back to me and I start to get worried. I push to my feet, pulling my jacket around my body to stave off the cooler night air. As I peer around the grounds of the club, I don’t see Finn anywhere. He only stepped away to take a call. He should have been back by now.
I move from fire to fire, trying to see if he’s got caught up talking to someone else, but he’s nowhere to be seen. Worry starts to gnaw at my gut. Where the hell could he be?
Considering there’s danger coming at the club, my first thought is what if something has happened to him? Has someone from the rival club attacked and taken him somewhere?
Fear licks up my spine as I try to find my father. Instead, I run into Marla, Bullet’s old lady, a petite red head wearing leather pants and a cropped top.
“You okay there?” she asks as I apologize.
“I’m looking for Finn—Rooster,” I correct.
“Haven’t seen him for a while.”
“He took a call and that’s the last I saw of him. I’m worried.”
“He’ll be around, darlin’. You tried calling him?”
I shake my head and move away from the noise to dial his number. It rings out on the first attempt, so I hang up and try again. This time, the call connects. It’s not Finn’s voice that answers, though. It’s a woman.
“Yeah?”
“I’m uh… looking for Finn.”
There’s a pause then, “Who’s this?”
“Carla. Who’s this?”
“Janie.”
A strange icy feeling erodes at my belly. “Janie?”
“His wife.” My stomach contracts painfully as my heart shatters into a million pieces. Shock renders me immobile. He has a wife? Is she serious?
“He’s married?” My words shake more than I would like as I whisper this.
“With two boys. You one of those bitches he keeps hooking up with? You know you’re wrecking a happy home, right?”
My mouth dries out as her words rattle around my brain. He’s married.
“I… what?”
She lets out a huffy breath. “You didn’t know, did you?”
Her words are a lance to the chest. “I had no idea,” I murmur, stumbling back.
The question is why in the hell didn’t my father mention the man I’m very much in love with has a whole other family? Does he know?
He’s married and has kids? Of course he does. Why did I think I meant anything to him?
“Stay the fuck away from my husband. He’s mine, and he’ll always be mine. It’s me he comes home to, it’s me and my boys he takes care of. Stay out of my way, bitch.”
The line goes dead and I blink frantically at the screen. I don’t blame her anger, but I don’t like having it directed at me.
I stagger toward his room in the clubhouse, my head reeling. I just had the best few days of my life without realizing I was playing a homewrecker. I would never take a man from his wife. Ever. I hate him for putting me in this position. I hate him for making me a person I’m not.
Humiliation burns through me as I push inside the room. I should stay, have this out with him, but I can’t. Shame crawls over my skin, covering me in the filth of his lies. I don’t ca
re what is going down with the club. I don’t care if it’s not safe to be out there, staying here is worse. If I stay, I might strangle him with my bare hands.
I grab my bag of belongings and call a cab. Getting out of the clubhouse is surprisingly easy. Everyone is preoccupied with the party, so I slip away unannounced.
I manage to get a last-minute seat on a flight back to California, and as soon as I’m in the air, I text my father and tell him I’ve left. He messages back immediately, demanding to know what the hell I’m doing, but I switch my phone off and shove it in my bag. I can’t talk to him yet. If he knew Finn was married, which he must have done considering he makes it his business to know exactly what is going on with his boys, then he’s just as bad as Finn. Running away is probably the childish thing to do, but I did what I always did when things get hard. I leave. It’s not the first time I’ve run, likely it won’t be the last, but this time I feel like my heart was left in Jersey.
By the time I get home, I’m exhausted. My apartment feels strange when I step inside it, empty, lonely in a way it never did before I met Finn.
I hate him for that too.
How did I fall for that cocky, good guy routine? What a jackass. I hate him for making me feel for him, for going against my own rules and going there with a biker. I should have known better.
I toss my bag near the front door and make my way to the bathroom. I take a shower, trying to keep my tears at bay, but finally I give into them, letting them fall unchecked. By the time I get out and dried, I feel exhausted. I don’t turn my cell on, just climb into bed and let my eyes drift shut.
I wake with gritty eyes and a headache. After sleeping with Finn next to me for the past few days, his absence in the bed leaves me with a heavy heart. I dress and switch on my cell. I have a dozen missed calls from my father, more from Finn and a couple from Grim. I also have a ton of messages. I ignore those too. I don’t want to read whatever bullshit excuses he has for me. I’ve never had someone’s wife warn me off their husband. I feel sick to my stomach even thinking she had to do it.
I get up on autopilot, my brain refusing to believe this is happening. I loved him. I still do. I can’t believe he’d do this to me. I’m so embarrassed, so humiliated, I can barely lift my head high.
I call Tim, my boss, and tell him I’ll make my shift tonight. Then I do everything I can to forget Finn ‘Rooster’ Reilly ever existed.
Twenty-One
Rooster
Dealing with Janie leaves me exhausted. That woman is a nightmare. If it wasn’t for the kids, I’d never deal with her ass again. I leave her house, my brain ready to short circuit, and pull out my cell. I sent a message to Carla last night to tell her to head to bed without me, but I didn’t hear shit back. That has my senses tingling. Has the bubble we were in finally burst? Has she woken up and realized what a waste of space I am?
Knives stab my gut when I see no messages from her this morning either. Damn, my Kitten can seriously hold a grudge.
I peer back at the house as I dial her number and wait for her to answer and see Joey and Mikey’s faces pressed against the window, waving frantically to me. I can’t stop from smiling. Those boys are my fucking world. I’d die for them.
Too bad I have to deal with their mother. She’s not exactly my favorite person. Every time I try to pull away from her, she threatens to take my boys from me. Last night, she was in the worst mood I’ve ever seen her in. It took me hours to calm her ass down and get her to stop shrieking at me. What the hell her problem was, I don’t know, but with Janie, it could be anything.
Carla doesn’t answer, so I hang up, unease prickling along my skin. I also see I have a few missed calls from Prez, so I hit redial.
“Sorry, I was dealing with something last night,” I say as soon as the call connects, not giving him chance to speak first.
“Carla’s gone.”
His words score a path of destruction through me, making my legs wobble a little.
“Gone? What the fuck do you mean she’s gone?”
“Back to Temecula. What the hell did you do to her, you little shit? I told you I’d de-ball you if you hurt her.”
“I didn’t do anything,” I protest.
I left her at the party, which was shitty, but did that really warrant going back to California? Carla’s many things, but she doesn’t have the same flare for dramatics as Janie. This is the type of shit she’d pull, expecting me to chase after her and grovel for forgiveness. I can’t see Carla leaving unless something happened, something bad.
“I’ll be back in fifteen minutes. You can tell me everything then.”
I hang up and pull my helmet on before starting up my bike. Then I tear out of there like I have the devil on my heels. Why the hell would Carla go back to Temecula?
Unless…
Unless she found out I have sons. I meant to tell her, but we haven’t exactly been together long enough to share all our personal shit, and I come with some serious amount of baggage.
I make it back to the clubhouse in record timing and head straight for Gunner’s office. As soon as I step inside, he looks like he’s contemplating thumping me, so I step back out of his reach and hold my hands up.
“Swear I didn’t do anything to her.”
“I tried to call you a bunch of times last night, asshole.” His eyes narrow at me. “Do you wanna explain why I got a text saying my daughter was at the airport, getting a flight back to California?”
“I wish I could, Prez. I have no fucking clue why she’d take off.”
“Where the hell where you last night?”
I scrub a hand over my face, tension making my muscles in my shoulders bunch. “Janie called.”
I don’t say more. He knows what that means. Everyone knows Janie is crazy and that she uses my boys against me whenever she can. I should never have gotten involved with her ass, but now I’m linked to her for years because of my sons.
“Carla know about Janie?”
“We didn’t exactly have a conversation about it, Gunner.”
“You think she could have found out about your situation?”
I scowl. “How?”
A thought occurs to me and it’s not a good one. I pull my phone out and scan through the call log. There’s a call from Carla last night, and it lasted three and a half minutes. I never answered any calls from her, so the only person she could have spoken to is Janie.
Fuck.
“Janie must have spoken to her.”
Gunner’s eyes flare. “You should have told Carla about her. You wouldn’t be in this situation right now, and my daughter wouldn’t be out there, at risk again. Fuck!”
He slams his hand on the desk and I get his frustration. I feel it too. She’s out there, in danger, because of me, and I hate that.
“You get your ass to Temecula and you bring my daughter back here safely. I don’t give a fuck what you have to do to make it happen, you fix this, Rooster. You hear me?”
It’s hard not to hear him, considering his voice has raised a full octave and doubled its decibels.
“I’m sorry,” I mutter. “Didn’t think it would come out like this.”
I didn’t expect Carla to run when she found out either. She doesn’t strike me as the type. I thought she’d be more likely to kick me in the nuts. The fact she has run makes me worry this thing between us might not be fixable.
I push that thought aside. No matter what happens, I’m keeping my promise to Prez, and I’m bringing my woman home, where she belongs.
I head out to my bike, and for the third time, I start the long journey across the country to California.
Twenty-Two
Carla
Over a few days, I settle back into my routine. I try to forget about Rooster and his false promises. My heart is heavy and feels like someone took a knife to it, slicing chunks of it, shredding it to pieces. I was an idiot for falling so hard, so fast, but that connection between us couldn’t be denied. It doesn’t mean I’m
not breaking apart either, because I am. I miss sleeping next to him. I miss his stupid jokes, but he’s married and I hate him for that. I have no business getting between him and his family, and I would never have gone there if I’d known the truth.
“It’s none of my business, but are you doing okay, Carla?”
I turn and glance at my boss, Tim, who is hovering nearby. I can see the concern etched onto every line of his face, and while I appreciate he cares, I don’t need him fussing around me.
“I’m fine,” I tell him, moving over to the bar and collecting a few empty glasses.
His brow cocks, but I ignore it. “Don’t know what happened, but I know you left and came back different.
Tim is a slight man with dark blond hair that is kept short. He’s the complete opposite to Rooster, who looks wild and has an air of danger about him. I don’t think Tim has ever done anything dangerous in his life.
I doubt he’s ever seen the back of a motorcycle either.
“You don’t seem fine.”
I probably don’t. I know I’ve been distracted, which is not like me.
I let out a breath and turn to face him. “I promise I’m okay.”
He eyes me for a moment, as if he doesn’t believe me, then he nods. “Okay then, but I’m here if you want to talk.”
“She said she’s fine, asshole.”
I snap my head around at Rooster’s voice, my eyes bugging out of my head. He’s standing at the edge of the bar, his hands tucked into his jeans pocket, his hair ruffled—from his helmet, I’m sure.
“Don’t talk to him like that,” I hiss at him.
He half-smiles, but I can see it doesn’t light up his eyes as it would normally and his dimple barely appears. I move to the end of the bar and he follows. As I step around the end of it, I snag his arm and drag him out of Tim’s ear shot.