Beefcakes

by Katana Collins

  I stood in the main lobby of Boston General Hospital; the large glass platter rested heavily on my palms. What the hell am I doing here?

  Suddenly, it felt like surprising Neil at his going away party in the hospital where his mother just had a mastectomy was a terrible idea. Even though Chloe had sent me the details and had promised me it would be okay for me to show up, what was I thinking?

  From my back pocket, my phone buzzed. I grunted, balancing the tray of cupcakes and tugging my phone free. A text from my dad? Dad rarely texted unless it was about work. I tapped the message with my thumb and nearly dropped the entire plate of cupcakes.

  I guess Neil’s been busy with more than just making cupcakes.

  My eyes were deceiving me. They had to be. Dad had scanned in a copy of a letter from Hardin Montgomery—a declaration of intent to donate the mill to the town of Maple Grove for the medical outreach center.

  I scanned the letter for any indication that Neil was a part of it but didn’t see anything. As I was typing a response to my dad, he sent another attachment. This time, a photo. Of a sticky note attached to the letter. In hand-written script, it said:

  That baker boyfriend of yours is pretty damn convincing, Ms. Dyker.

  -H. Montgomery

  I stared at my phone, speechless, for far too long. It wasn’t until Chloe exited the small break room that I glanced up. Apparently, they only had half an hour before they had to get Neil’s mom back in bed resting, and then they’d have to move the party back to their hotel room.

  As the door slid open, I caught a glimpse of Neil. He was chatting with Steve and Yvonne, friends from Maple Grove who had made the drive down to wish him well. And he looked even more ridiculously handsome than I remembered. His light brown hair was longer than before and curled against the nape of his neck. He wore a red button-down shirt, a grey vest, and jeans. But tonight… his smile was flat, and his eyes lacked their emerald sparkle.

  I glanced down at the plate in my hand and shook my head in spite of myself. What was I expecting to accomplish by coming here, exactly? Arriving with specially baked cupcakes? For the guy who bakes cupcakes for a living? Ugh, I’m an idiot.

  I licked my lips, desperately wishing his eyes would find mine… even for a moment. Then I could know. With a second of eye contact, I would know if I’d made the right choice or not… and if not? Then I could shove the platter of cupcakes at Chloe and make a run for it. But as much as I wanted him to see me, he didn’t. He gave a nod to Steve and Yvonne and crossed the room to chat with Rita and Carlie.

  My heart ached with how much I missed him. I’d been kidding myself for two weeks thinking I was moving on.

  As the door shut behind her, Chloe’s eyes lit up and she squealed, rushing over to me and slipping her arm through mine. “You made it!”

  “Yeah… I’m starting to think it was a bad idea coming, though.”

  “What? Don’t be ridiculous. This is going to be just like a movie!” She bounced up and down on her toes, and with our arms linked as they were, the plate perched in my hands wobbled.

  I chuckled, shaking my head. “Only two weeks since he who shall not be named did the unthinkable to you and you’re still all sunshine, rainbows, and optimism,” I sighed. “How do you do it?”

  Chloe rolled her eyes and gently tugged me toward the door. “I have a pessimist sister and have learned that I need to be chipper enough for two.” She opened the door and shoved me through it.

  I should have taken a larger breath before walking through that door—prepared myself for what I was walking into. In front of me, Neil stood chatting with a nurse. A beautiful, brunette nurse. She laughed at something he said, her hand falling gracefully onto his arm.

  But when I shifted my focus from her to Neil, I noticed he wasn’t reciprocating the touch… or the laugh. His smile was tight. Polite.

  His gaze lifted, drawing up and over her shoulder, landing directly on me. His mouth parted in an inaudible gasp, his eyes widening. It was the same shocked expression that bloomed on his face when he first saw me at Chloe’s bachelorette party months ago.

  Wow, that felt like a lifetime ago.

  But this time, his eyes burned into mine. The fake smile from earlier had disappeared. The sad lines reappeared around his eyes as he stared directly at me.

  “I’m sorry,” I whispered directly to him, my eyes welling with tears. Even though an entire room of people separated us, I knew he heard me.

  I wasn’t sure if it was my imagination, my tunnel-vision, or reality, but I swear the room went silent, and everyone else vanished as Neil crossed the room to me.

  “You’re here,” he whispered.

  “I’m here.”

  “I was hoping you’d come.” Deep in my chest, my heart twisted like wringing laundry.

  I lifted my phone, holding up the pdf my dad had texted me with the charitable donation declaration of intent on the screen. “You did this.” It wasn’t a question. Of course, he did this. It had the Neil Evans stamp all over it.

  A smile twitched on his lips. “I did. And you… you paid for my mom’s surgery.”

  Tears filled my eyes as I nodded. “I did.”

  “Thank you,” we both whispered at once and then chuckled.

  Silence blanketed the space between us, and his gaze flicked to the platter of cupcakes in my hand. For the first time since I caught a glimpse of him, his smile lifted, reaching his eyes. “Cupcakes?”

  I cleared my throat, finding my words—finding my voice. “A wise man once told me that there’s no problem a cupcake can’t fix. I’m really hoping he’s right.”

  His brow arched and he lifted the saran wrap. Awareness softened his features as he lifted a cupcake in his hands. “Is that… did you make me a bacon cupcake?”

  “I did. And I have to admit, it’s not half as disgusting as I thought it would be.” I grinned, a big, stupid smile, seeing how his face lit up. “It’s a chocolate cupcake with maple-bourbon buttercream… and yes, candied bacon sprinkled on top. Made especially for you… my beefcake.” I paused, and the shock at how much it hurt, reverting to our old banter, when I knew somewhere deep down that things may never be the same between us again. “At least… I hope you’ll be my beefcake again.”

  Neil took the platter from my hands, set it aside on the table next to us, and before I knew it, his mouth was sliding over mine, leaving me dizzy and breathless.

  With his lips still on mine, he whispered my name. In all my life, my name had never sounded so beautiful.

  He withdrew from the kiss, resting his forehead to mine.

  When I pulled away, I searched his eyes as they grew somber once more. “I’m sorry, Neil. I’m so, so sorry.”

  “No,” Neil said, latching those emerald eyes of his onto mine. “You did nothing wrong. You were honest. I should have listened more closely, seen the signs that you weren’t ready for marriage. It was brave saying no to my proposal, and my response was… I just… I threw that honesty in your face.”

  My eyes fluttered closed, overcome with relief. “I love you so much, Neil. I spent so many years waiting for Brad to propose. I spent years wondering, waiting, questioning when it was going to be—it became a thing. It became a catalyst for my anxiety. And then, it was the ultimate let-down when it never happened. I mean, not only didn’t it happen, but it ended with such a betrayal. But I-I should have explained that better to you. And earlier. I was so overwhelmed—”

  Neil shook his head. “You shouldn’t have to explain. I was an asshole and I completely overreacted.”

  “And I hurt you,” my voice cracked as I admitted that. I didn’t want to hurt Neil… ever. “When I said no to the proposal. You put your heart on the line, and I hurt you. I’m sorry for that.”

  “I’m sorry, too. I made a promise to you and I broke it. I promised I would never say goodbye, and then I used that against you because I knew it would hurt you in the same way that I was hurting in that moment. Not my finest moment.” H
e sighed and looked at the clock. “And in a matter of hours, I’m leaving. Again.”

  “I know,” I whispered. “But this time… I’m going with you.”

  He blinked, slowly, staring at me before his gaze dropped to my lips. “You’re… coming with me? To Budapest?”

  I nodded, biting my bottom lip against the wide smile I couldn’t contain. I felt like my face might split into two.

  “But… what about your job?” he asked.

  “I’ve been working as the town manager for years, and I’ve only used two vacation days,” I said. “So, I’m taking ten days off of work and coming with you… if you’ll have me. My bags are packed in my car. I have my passport in my purse. All you have to do is say the word.”

  Neil leaned forward and scooped me into his arms, spinning us in a circle before lowering me to my feet and taking my mouth in another firm kiss. “I’ll be coming home with you after two weeks, too. I told Jude and Ash that I couldn’t be away from home for more than two weeks at any given time, and they moved all the stunt scenes to be within that time frame. It makes sense from a budget standpoint, too. And after chatting with them, Jude, Ash, and I are opening a stunt training facility—right in Maple Grove—provided I can get the town manager to sign off on it.”

  My grin widened. “I think we can arrange something.” Then, I pushed onto my toes and threw my arms around his neck. “Thank you for rearranging your shooting schedule,” I whispered. “But you don’t have to do that for me—”

  “It’s not just for you. What you said really resonated with me. I don’t want the kind of life where I’m not home half the year either. With my mom’s health, I’ve learned what’s really important. And while I love stunt work… I don’t love it more than my family. And I don’t love it more than you.”

  I kissed Neil again, when I suddenly heard… clapping? Was there applause erupting around us? Slowly, I turned to peek around the room to find the entire party circled around us, clapping and cheering. His mother was in a wheelchair up front, a rolling IV beside her. Although she looked tired post-surgery, her face lit up with a smile as she blew us each a kiss.

  I glanced up at Neil. “We have an audience.”

  He chuckled and nuzzled into my neck. “You think we’d be used to that by now, huh?”

  Neil paused, taking a breath to drag his finger down the crest of my cheek to the corner of my mouth. I turned my head, catching the pad of his finger in a light kiss. “I have an idea,” Neil said. “You know where my heart is. Elaina Dyker, I would marry you right now, here, in the hospital chapel. But you need time, and I understand that now. I won’t bring up the idea of marriage or a proposal again for a while. You need to bring it up to me … when you’re ready. Whether that’s a month from now or ten years from now. I need you to clearly tell me that you are ready for marriage.”

  I rolled my eyes. “God help us both if it’s ten years!” I laughed, but Neil didn’t. He smiled. A small, relaxed smile.

  “I’m serious, Elaina. I don’t want the prospect of a proposal to cause you anxiety. And I don’t need a ring, or a ceremony, or a piece of paper to be committed. I just need you. So, take your time and, when you’re ready, let me know.”

  I nodded slowly, his words piercing a piece of my heart. They were so sweet, so earnest. “Then you’d better start planning that proposal, Evans. It’s not going to be as long of a wait as you think.”

  “Prepare yourself, Dyker. Because when you’re ready, it’s going to be the proposal of a lifetime.”

  A little less than two years later…

  I sat at my kitchen island with Liam on my left, Mom on my right, and Elaina and Chloe stood across from us on the other side. Mom reached for the mini-cheesecakes Liam had made for all of us, and Chloe quickly slid the plate away from her hand. “Nuh-uh,” Chloe said. “Those are the ones made with sugar for me.”

  I chuckled and shook my head. Chloe was one of the few who never did quite come around to the taste of our sugar-free substitutes and instead opted for her junk food. Man, did that girl love junk food.

  Mom rolled her eyes. “I’ve been in remission for over a year now. If I want a damn occasional sugary dessert, I think I’ve earned that. Now hand it over!”

  I snickered at Chloe as she begrudgingly slid the plate back to a triumphantly smiling Mom.

  With a pencil in my hand, I sketched a large cupcake. “What if we did something simple,” I said. “Just an oversized cupcake with the Beefcakes logo on it?” Everyone glared at me with a hardened look. “Or… not?”

  Elaina shook her head, a smile curving those gorgeous lips. “It’s your two-year anniversary of Beefcakes opening,” she said. “A large cupcake just seems like something anyone could do. Your cake needs to be spectacular.”

  I sighed. It especially needed to be spectacular because Bake It or Break It was coming back to do a follow-up episode about Elaina and me—and this business anniversary cake would be featured on National television. They were about to start their third season, and it was one of Silhouette’s most successful prime-time shows. Surprisingly, business at Beefcakes didn’t fall off too much after the show finished airing. We still had plenty of tourists, tons of special orders, and the stunt work training center was booming as well.

  It also helped that Elaina’s healthcare outreach center was thriving. The events area of the center was booked entirely through next year with conferences and craft shows and farmers markets. There was now an orthopedic surgeon on staff at Elaina’s clinic, in the event that a stunt went awry. It had yet to happen, but even still, it was reassuring to know help was only a short car ride away if needed.

  “Okay,” I said, tossing that sketch into the trash beside us, already half-full with crumpled sketches and ideas. “What if we carve the cake into a flexing bicep, like in our logo? Then, we can perch the large cupcake on top of the bicep…”

  “Oh,” Mom said. “It’s a combination of this last idea and sketch number seven.”

  I nodded. “That’s right. Then below the large cake design, we can have nine regular sized cupcakes, spelling out BEEFCAKES.”

  “I love it,” Elaina said, beaming at me.

  “Can we do that?” Liam asked. “That takes a lot of carving and fondant. And the bicep will need to be load bearing.”

  “It’s challenging,” I said. “And we should do a couple trial bakes first. But I think it’s doable.”

  Chloe clapped and squealed. “I will finish drawing up the guest list for you.” Liam and I groaned, and Chloe immediately put her hands to her hips, tapping her toes. “Are you two kidding me right now? What good is a party if no one comes to it? You hired me as your party planner… let me do what I’m good at.”

  “Actually,” Liam corrected her, “you sort of hired yourself. All I said was: Hey, Beefcakes is having its cotton anniversary… and then you launched into this party idea.”

  Her gaze narrowed into a playful scowl. “And thank God I did! If we left this up to you, you and Neil would just high-five each other the morning of your two-year anniversary and then give out free cupcakes to your customers!”

  I snapped a finger, grabbing the pencil and changing the sketch to include what looked like cotton candy in the hand of the cake. “The cotton anniversary,” I said. “That’s it. We’ll make it cotton candy themed. Cotton candy flavored cakes and cupcakes!”

  I glanced up at Elaina, who had her bottom lip caught between her teeth and was nodding at me. “It’s adorable. And perfect.”

  I grinned, my cheeks warming at the adoring way she looked at me. How in the hell did I get so lucky? I leaned over the counter and dropped a kiss to the tip of her nose. “Just like you.”

  “Get a room, you two.” Chloe said. “Neil, I’m serious. I need your guest list, like, yesterday.”

  I sighed and jerked my head up the stairs. “It’s up in my office. Come on, let’s go get it.”

  Chloe followed me upstairs, and I peered over my shoulder, making sure Elai
na hadn’t followed us.

  “So?” Chloe hissed. “She doesn’t suspect anything, does she?”

  I smiled, shaking my head. “I don’t think so.”

  Chloe did a little skip thing, bouncing up and down on her toes and clasping her hands. “This is so exciting! My sister is getting engaged!”

  “Shhhhh,” I pressed my finger to my lips and peeked out the door. Luckily, the coast was clear, so Chloe’s little outburst hadn’t given anything away.

  “Okay,” Chloe whispered. “We are all set for the venue. The party will actually be happening two weeks after the Beefcakes two-year anniversary. I’m going to make up an excuse… that they double-booked us with another party and we had to move the anniversary party date. I’ve already contacted Silhouette, so they know about the timing change and your proposal. And then it will perfectly coincide with the anniversary of when you and Elaina had your first kiss.” She paused, her eyes rolling to the ceiling. “Well, not your first kiss. Your second first kiss, I suppose.”

  “They know I’m not proposing on camera, right?” God knew I had learned my lesson there. Besides, Elaina would hate that. Nerves slammed in my stomach, ricocheting around in my gut, and I thought for a second I might lose my dinner, I was so nervous.

  “What’s wrong?” Chloe asked. “Don’t tell me you’re getting cold feet?” Her hands flew to her hips and all traces of excitement on her face were quickly replaced with a glare of hostility. “Because I swear to God, if you back out now—”

  “No,” I hissed. “Calm down, it’s nothing like that. I just… Elaina told me a few months ago that she was ready for this. That she wanted to marry me. That she was ready for the proposal. But…” I shook my head, the words catching in my throat like a cough that couldn’t escape. “What if she isn’t ready yet? What if the proposal brings back her anxiety or she realizes that she’s not ready? What if proposing to her at the party was too much pressure? I don’t mind waiting longer, but I don’t want this to be two steps forward and another step back.” And if I was being honest with myself, I wasn’t sure my heart could take it. Another rejection.