“We can’t afford to lose two bikes. Since Gavin…” Bailen swallowed, as if the right words were stuck in his throat. “I’m not leaving my bike here. I’ll talk her through it. She’ll be fine. Now go before you put more of us in danger.”
Jake froze, no words forming on his lips. I silently pleaded that he’d do something to stop what was about to happen. The thought of flying a death cycle made me want to hurl.
“I promise I won’t let anything happen to her. I know how important she is to you. I’d kill anyone if they hurt Peyton. Don’t worry. I’ll keep her safe.”
Jake pointed a finger at Bailen. “You better keep that promise.” He hopped on his bike and launched into the sky after the others.
What had just happened? Jake’s bike faded into the distance. The Jake I knew never would have put me in charge of such a dangerous situation. But here we were. Bailen was offering to help me, and Jake had let him? I was in some kind of alternate hell.
I turned back to the bike, but Bailen stood frozen in place. Was he in shock? No, that was sheer terror. An expression that said he couldn’t afford to screw anything up. That he’d do whatever it took to get us both back safely. He wouldn’t let Jake down. And it was all I needed to know.
“Uh, Bailen, we’ve got to go,” I said.
He jerked and moved closer.
I climbed onto Bailen’s bike and he slid behind me, wrapping his uninjured arm around my waist. I flinched under his light touch as he cradled his injured arm between my shoulder and his chest.
I pulled on my helmet and grabbed the handlebars so tightly, my knuckles turned white.
“Breathe,” Bailen said through the speaker inside my helmet. “I’m right here. We’ll do this together.”
“Okay, what now?” My voice trembled to match my quivering body.
“I need you to hold the brake while I kickstart the engine.”
I lifted my cramping fingers and clutched the brake handle. Bailen kicked down with his foot, and the bike rumbled to life.
“See? That wasn’t too bad,” he said. I could feel his chest rise and fall rapidly behind me. “Now, release the brake, twist the throttle, and yank the handlebars toward you.”
I gulped. My body froze as an icy chill ran through me. Who was I kidding? If our escape depended on me, we were dead. I moved my feet from the footrest to the ground to steady myself. “I can’t do this.”
“You can. Because I know you won’t let anything bad happen to either of us.” For the first time, his voice was soft and kind.
“No pressure there,” I muttered under my breath.
A loud banging on the rooftop door drew my attention behind us.
“I don’t want to rush you, but we don’t have a lot of time,” he said.
My heartbeat quickened. That barricade wouldn’t hold long. “Okay. So release the brake?” I asked, confirming the next step.
“Yes, but put your feet on the bike. I’ll hold us steady.”
I let go of my iron grip on the brake.
“Good. Now the throttle.”
I twisted the handle, and the bike roared. Bailen must have lifted his foot off the ground because we were rolling toward the edge of the roof.
“Now yank back on the handlebars.”
I tentatively pulled on the bars, not knowing how far to go. The bike lurched and the engine sputtered beneath us.
“More!” Bailen yelled as we continued to roll toward the ledge.
“More what?” I yelled back. Over Bailen’s shoulder, the door crashed open and two agents burst through.
Twelve
“Face forward and pull!” Bailen screamed then released his hold on my waist. He grabbed my left hand and yanked the handlebars back. In moments we lifted off the roof, inches from toppling over the edge. The agents shrank into the distance as we sped away.
“Hold it steady.”
“I’m trying,” I said, panic filling my voice. My arms shook so violently, it was impossible to keep a straight path. I pulled the bike to the left to avoid a nearby high-rise, but Bailen shoved us quickly to the right to correct my wide turn and avoid a floating street sign. Wind whipped around us as we missed a second building by inches.
Once we were on a steady course, I blinked twice while thinking MAP.
Nothing.
Right. No tracker. “Which way?”
“Keep us low between the buildings. It’ll be more difficult for the authorities’ beams to find us.”
I eased the handlebars forward, allowing the bike to tilt down.
His calm voice came through the speaker in my helmet. “There. See, I think you’re starting to get the hang of it.”
My sweaty palms made it difficult to maintain my death grip on the handlebars. Coasting was easy. It was the not-getting-us-killed part that wasn’t. With a slight tilt of the handlebars, I attempted to level the bike. It jerked up then down. My stomach jumped into my throat. With one final adjustment, I managed to keep the bike steady.
“I think I need a lot more practice.” I let out a nervous laugh. “And I thought Peyton’s driving made me sick.”
“Nah, you’re doing fine,” he said. “This is the easy part. It’s the starting and stopping that’s tricky.”
My muscles relaxed, but my heart kept pounding. Stopping was exactly what I was worried about.
“Turn toward the river. We need to head back.” He slid his hand farther around my waist. His touch sent a tingle through me.
Angling the bike, I followed Bailen’s directions to the Hive. I gripped the handles tighter as I caught sight of the barn in the distance.
“Breathe,” Bailen said. “I’ll handle the flight controls. You just keep us steady.”
“Okay,” was all I could manage to get out.
“Now ease up on the throttle.”
I twisted it, and the engine settled to a dull hum. Bailen nudged the left handle down, angling the bike toward the forest. As the trees rushed toward us, he returned his grip to my waist, and I inhaled sharply. As the bike hit the ground, I let it out. We bounced into the air again, and on the second hit, the bike stayed on the ground. The front tire swerved. Bailen clutched the handle and yanked it to steady us as we glided to a stop inside the barn.
Jake paced silently, though his pale face relaxed the minute he saw us. His normally well-combed hair stuck up. His eyelids were heavy, but his shoulders were drawn tight near his neck.
I pulled off my helmet and hung it on the bike, waiting for Bailen to get off first. As soon as he did, Jake grabbed him by the shirt collar and hauled him over to the far wall. Jake attempted to yank Bailen into the air but coughed and shoved him into a pile of gardening tools instead. Bailen used his uninjured arm to catch himself against the wall before whirling to face Jake, who stood inches from Bailen.
“Don’t you ever do anything like that again,” Jake said.
Bailen cradled his injured arm. I tried to separate them, but there was no space to squeeze between. I dug my nails into Jake’s arm. “Enough! He’s already hurt. You pounding his face in will only make things worse.”
“Maybe, but it’ll make me feel better.” Jake’s eyes lit with fire. He bared his teeth like a rabid coyote. “What do you have to say for yourself?”
Bailen grimaced and furrowed his eyebrows, a sure sign he was gearing up for a fight. “We were in a shitty situation. I’m not sorry about my decision. We got back here safely.”
“Tell that to Gavin,” Jake said, rubbing his abdomen with his free hand. “You put everyone at risk, especially Kaya. I never should have let her come.”
“She’s fine. I told you I wouldn’t let anything happen to her, and I didn’t. What’s your problem?” Bailen yelled with such rage, he spit in Jake’s face.
Jake didn’t wipe it away, but his chest rose and fell with increasing speed. Before he could argue further, I crossed my arms over my chest and used my best pissed-off voice to say, “Jake, leave Bailen alone. You aren’t mad at him. You’re mad
at me for wanting to go.”
I scowled and tapped my foot in an attempt to show my impatience at Jake’s overreaction. Jake froze with a stunned expression then slowly backed away from Bailen. Bailen ducked around Jake and took off for the trap door. Moments later, it slammed shut behind him.
“Let it go. He just saved my life…twice.”
Jake scoffed. I wrapped him in a tight hug. When he winced, I eased up slightly. “I’m fine,” I said into his chest. As he stepped back, his normally pale blue eyes seemed more glassy and distant than usual. “I’m not as fragile as you think. Besides, Bailen was there the whole time.”
Jake took another step, swaying slightly. He dug his feet into the ground and wrapped his arm around his midsection. “I know. But we lost…” He winced again and shook his head. “I don’t want anything bad to happen to you.” He coughed. “I’m supposed to protect you.”
“Oh, trust me. You protect me a little too much.”
He cracked a weak smile, telling me I was right, and gently hugged me again. As he rested his chin on my shoulder, he coughed again. It was a slow rasp at first, but as I let him go, his cough grew violent until he heaved, throwing up blood.
“Jake! Somebody help me!”
His face paled. He staggered in circles and swayed. I caught Jake by the armpits and lowered him to the ground, placing his head in my lap. He continued to hack, blood splattering his lips. I ran my hands over his chest, searching for a wound or some other cause. As I grazed his stomach, he inhaled sharply. I peeled back his shirt to reveal a dark bruise across his midsection.
“Somebody help!” I cried, but I wasn’t sure there was anyone to help.
“I’m…fine,” Jake choked out, his eyes hollow.
“This isn’t the time to be heroic.” I nudged him, but he didn’t respond.
“Somebody! Please help!” I screamed again, praying for someone to burst through the trap door.
He shook his head. “I need…” Aa short raspy breath escaped his lips. “More time.”
“We have plenty.” Why did he think we were out of time?
He lifted his arm and pointed toward my head. “You’re… a smart…” He squeezed my pinky, but it wasn’t as strongly as usual.
“I’m a smart what?”
Jake coughed, releasing my pinky to cover his mouth. Harder and harder, he hacked like he was struggling to get air.
“Don’t talk. I’ll get help.”
I stood to leave, but he tried to grab my leg and coughed out a word that sounded like stay.
I knelt beside him, my heart pounding while my brain stalled, unsure what to do. I’d never been so helpless.
Jake’s breathing grew raspy. I tried to cradle his head again, but it seemed to make things worse, so I lowered him back to the floor. His hand reached for mine again as a quiet groan escaped his lips. His arm fell slack, his pinky lightly brushing past mine as it hit the ground.
“Jake?”
Nothing.
“Jake?” It would be just like him to joke about something serious. I shook him. “Stop messing around.”
Nothing.
“Jake!” I shook him again. “Wake up!”
I kept shaking him, expecting him to laugh with a twinkle in his eye and say, “Gotcha” at any minute. But the minutes ticked on and no amount of shaking made him say anything. His eyes remained open.
Glassy.
His head hung back with no resistance. Jake’s arms lay limp at his sides. His chest didn’t move. No throbbing vein in his neck.
“Jake.” I shoved him. “This isn’t funny.”
I picked him up by his shoulders.
“Jake?”
His body flopped like a ragdoll.
Body.
It was just a body.
My thoughts swirled as my brain tried to process the word. What it meant. How had this happened? He’d been fine a minute ago. Well, not fine, but walking and talking, just a bruised rib like he’d said.
What was here wasn’t Jake. Not anymore. He was lifeless.
It was lifeless.
My heart clenched, then crumbled to dust. It was like someone had sucked out my insides. I gasped for air.
Nothing existed in that moment but Jake and me.
I bent over him and screamed into his chest.
“No, you can’t leave me here alone. I need you.” The weight of the words brought my world crashing down.
Dark shadows loomed around me like walls closing in.
For the first time, I noticed the blur of people around me. They tried to rub my back and comfort me, but I pushed them away. “Leave me alone!” I screamed and buried my face in Jake’s chest.
People grabbed my arms, trying to pry me away. I slapped at them and kept my face buried.
I squeezed Jake’s pinky but met no resistance. This had to be some kind of joke.
I whispered into his ear, “I can’t do this without you.”
But here I was.
Alone.
Again.
And the longer I stayed, the more real it was. I pushed off his chest, shoved past a blur of people, and bolted to the trap door. I didn’t stop running until I reached my room. The metal door slammed shut behind me with a horrific clang.
I collapsed to my knees. The full magnitude of the evening slammed into me like a speeding motorbike. My body shook as I tried to stave off the impending tears.
Against the wall, I drew my legs into my chest, taking ragged breaths. I couldn’t catch my breath. I gasped over and over and over again. The noises coming from my mouth didn’t sound human, or like they were even coming from me.
I collapsed, my cheek pressed against the ground, staring straight ahead. The world spun around me and my brain struggled to process everything. Jake was gone.
Dead.
The words of the Mourner’s Kaddish slipped through my lips almost on autopilot. It wasn’t under the right circumstances, but what was right when someone you loved was gone? As the final words of the prayer escaped my lips, they took with them my last bit of strength. Unable to move myself to the bed, I curled into a ball and wept until I ran out of tears.
Thirteen
Food came and went. I couldn’t remember if I ate any of it or how it appeared and disappeared. I spent more time asleep than awake. And the waking hours were only long enough to rip me from the nightmares haunting my slumber—authorities torturing my family and friends, agents carving into my skull, Jake coughing up blood.
When the bed grew uncomfortable, I curled into a ball on the floor again. The cold surface nearly froze the wetness on my cheeks. Dirt and dried blood cracked off my clothes. The misery and filth cocooned around me until the smell became too much to ignore.
I tore the clothes off and tossed them into the far corner. If I never saw them again, it’d be too soon. Searching the dilapidated dresser, I pulled out a towel and wrapped myself in it before heading down the hall to the bathroom.
In the shower, I let the hot water pound on my aching head. The water dripped off me, splashed across the floor with a pinkish hue, and swirled into the drain. It was just like my life, slowly peeling away and being sucked into oblivion.
I leaned against the wall and slid to the floor. Pulling my knees into my chest, I cried into my hands. As the water continued to rain down, my ribcage shook in time with my wracking sobs. I hoped it would wash away the grief like it did the blood, but the sadness kept coming just like the water—a never-ending supply.
I wanted to go home. In that moment, I missed my family and friends more than ever. And there wasn’t a thing I could do about it. I needed my safe space and no one at the Hive could provide that.
I needed Jake.
I pushed against the wall and shut off the shower. In my room, I dressed in a T-shirt and jeans I found in the dresser then headed to the computer room.
It was surprisingly empty, except for one person. Bailen spun in his chair. “You’re awake. Can I get you anything? Maybe something to ea
t?” He tried to smile but avoided eye contact.
“I’m not hungry.” Falling into the chair next to him, I pulled my legs up to my chin. I didn’t know what to tell him because I had no idea what I needed. Instead, I asked, “What day is it?” I shook my head. “Never mind. I don’t want to know.” It felt like an eternity, and I’d need much more than that to forget.
“Are you sure?” he asked.
“Just find something to distract me.”
He eyed me cautiously, almost like I might break. I didn’t want his pity, but luckily, he returned to his monitor. “Well, the good news is, the first code is almost done running, but the decryption is going to take a while.”
“I’ve got nothing but time,” I said solemnly, knowing it was an utter lie. Everything needed to end so I could get out of here as fast as possible. But I was thankful to Bailen for humoring me.
As if sensing my mood, Bailen continued. “There’s a lot of interesting things in the diagnostic report from your tracker. Even without the full picture, we have a sense of how to replicate the code. Unfortunately, it’s going to be a logistical nightmare.”
“Great. I was hoping for some good news.” Although I doubted positive news could bring my spirits up when I had a giant cloud suffocating me. My whole body was numb.
“But there is good news.”
“Oh?”
“The guys think they discovered a loophole in the tracker network. They’re digging in to see if we can exploit it with the info we’re learning from your chip.” He had that excited I-love-tech expression again. Anything was better than the pity look.
“A loophole? Like what?” I just needed to keep him talking. The longer he talked, the less time there was for painful memories to creep into my mind.
“Something that might allow us to turn off our trackers for large chunks of time without the authorities noticing.”
“Really? You learned all that from my tracker?”
“Yep. And hopefully we’ll be able to use the data to our advantage.” He tapped on the keyboard with lightning speed, unaffected by his bandaged arm. “With all this intel, we might be able to hit Global Tracking where it hurts. Plant some small chunks of code that can slowly eat away at their system, eventually allowing us behind their defenses.” Several windows popped open on his screen and minimized in seconds.
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