Awoken from the Deep

by Octavia Kore

“I need to pee,” she said, pushing herself to her feet.

  The ridges of Ky’s brow furrowed. “It is not safe to leave the ship yet.”

  As much as Esme wished to leave the nauseating smell of this place behind, she wasn’t stupid enough to risk running out into the storm. The sting of the rain at the beginning of it had been painful enough.

  “I’ve spent the last couple of months on a Grutex ship. I think I can find a bathroom easy enough.”

  “I can come with you,” Ky offered, uncurling her long legs from beneath her.

  “No!” The word jumped from her mouth before she could think better of it. “No, i-it’s fine.” She bit her lip, not wanting to seem rude. “Thank you for offering, but I’m a big girl. I can find the bathroom on my own.”

  When Ky rose, stepping around the Grutex, panic shot through Esme and a loud buzzing filled her mind. The large room was suddenly too small, and she stumbled backward, trying to flee from the female as her lungs constricted in her chest.

  Get away! Get out!

  Images of the lab flashed through her mind, of the guards coming for her in her cell. Even though some part of her knew Ky didn’t want to hurt her, another louder part of her needed to escape.

  They will take you and run all of those horrible, painful tests again. They’ll cut you open, rip you apart until you aren’t even human anymore.

  Esme spun, attempting to put as much distance between them as possible, but the leg of one of the overturned tables caught her shin. There was a sickening weightless sensation as she lost her balance. Her hands flew out in front of her as she squeezed her eyes shut, waiting for the impact, but it never came.

  Strong, warm arms wrapped around her torso, yanking her back against a firm, flat chest. Esme gasped, her hands flying to the arms holding her. She should push her away, claw herself free, but she didn’t want to. For the first time in so long, Esme allowed herself to be held.

  It didn’t matter that the female whose arms she was wrapped in was an alien, or that they were in a room that smelled like death, with a Grutex dying on the floor. There was comfort in Ky’s embrace, and Esme soaked it up. She could have wept at the sensations moving through her, at the longing that was finally being fulfilled.

  Her eyes opened slowly as she drew in a deep breath. Count it out. Ten… nine… eight… seven… six… five… four… three… two… one… Safe. You’re safe, the voice in her head whispered. Was she? It had been so long since she felt this way. Esme looked at the dark floor beneath, her eyes pausing a mound of dirty, crumpled rags. No, not rags. She frowned, squinting in the dim light of the room.

  An inhuman scream was torn from her lungs when she saw the giant lifeless eyes peering back at her from the black, shrunken face of whatever this being was. She gagged on the bile that rushed into the back of her throat, twisting in the female’s arms as she struggled to get away.

  “What?” Ky demand. “What’s wrong?”

  “Let me go!” Esme shouted, unable to tear her eyes away from the corpse. “It’s—” Her stomach turned, and Ky released her just in time for her to drop to her knees and spill its meager contents.

  The swirling lines that ran over Ky’s body pulsed as she craned her neck to see the body. Esme remembered hearing the others talk about it, calling it a fushori. Brin explained to the more curious humans that they were a body part all Venium possessed and that they were somehow linked with their emotions. The female’s fushori raced as she hid the body behind the table. Ky stepped back, closing the space between them before crouching down and pulling Esme into her arms.

  “Come away from it,” she murmured, lifting Esme from the floor.

  “What is it?” Esme whispered, letting Ky move her across the room. Long fingers raked through her hair, teasing out the knots that she was sure had formed during her run through the forest.

  “I have never seen anything like it,” Ky said, holding her a little closer. “We will burn the body once the storm has passed.”

  She was doing it again, letting an alien hold her, letting her comfort her. Esme hated that this felt right, hated that it made her aching heart happy. After all of the horrors and abuse, didn’t she deserve to feel whatever this was?

  Pain sliced through her lower abdomen, and she clenched her fists to keep from crying out at the burning sensation along her healed incision. She pushed against Ky’s chest, more grateful than she could express when the female loosened her grip. Esme took a few unsteady steps away, nearly tripping over the Grutex’s outstretched legs.

  “I’ll be back.”

  She moved into the hall, choosing to ignore Ky as she followed close behind and refusing to admit that the dark halls would have been far more difficult to navigate without the glow of the female’s fushori to light her way. This ship was smaller than the one they’d used to escape the lab, but she doubted it lacked the basic facilities.

  Esme turned down a corridor, one she hadn’t recalled passing on her way into the large room. There was a series of four doors, each one marked with a different line of alien characters she didn’t recognize. No problem. She’d just check them all.

  “Wait…” A warm hand rested on her shoulder, staying her movements as she started toward the closest door. “I will make sure it is safe.”

  Esme’s lip curled. “I’m not completely useless, you know.”

  “I would never think such a thing.” The smile softened Ky’s face. “It is simply to calm my own fears.”

  With a shrug, Esme leaned against the cold wall, gesturing for the female to go ahead. The door slid aside with a quiet swish, and Ky disappeared inside, taking her calming aqua glow with her. As the darkness settled around her, Esme let her head fall back and her eyes close as she sighed. How was she going to do this? A sharp cramp made her wince, and she pressed her fingers into the corners of her eyes.

  She was supposed to be looking for her baby, but how was she going to do that if Ky refused to leave her side? Her child had to be here. Why else would she have had those dreams of the forest? Why would that feeling have led her here if her baby wasn’t in this ship?

  Maybe it’s the male, her mind whispered.

  She shook her head violently. No, she refused to believe that she could have allowed herself to be led here by one of them. Maybe her baby was tucked away within the ship, safe in a cryopod, and that was what pulled her here, not the male. It didn’t make sense, but nothing actually made sense anymore. Not the pull, not the Grutex, and not the feeling she got when Ky was around that told her she was safe, that made her feel almost whole.

  A scream of frustration threatened to crawl up her throat as madness tried desperately to consume her, to pull her back down into the darkness. She’d convinced herself during the time on the planet they crash-landed on that her stay in the lab hadn’t disrupted her sanity, but it was becoming increasingly obvious that she’d been wrong. Out here, away from all over the overwhelming emotions of the other humans, Esme was seeing just how much damage had been done.

  If he’d left you alone, if he hadn’t run all of those tests, your baby might still be here. If she’d only been given a little more time, she could have escaped the lab with her child. She might have even been happy to arrive on this planet and be welcomed in by the Venium, but now… all she had now were might have beens.

  One day, Esme would have her chance to avenge herself and her child. One day, she was going to have the satisfaction of seeing the life drain from his eyes. She only hoped she didn’t have to wait too long to see it.

  Silence filled the space around her, making Esme frown. She couldn’t hear the female moving around anymore. Even the light of her fushori had disappeared. Anxiety gnawed at her as the quiet stretched on.

  “Ky?” she called out, pushing away from the wall just as the female stepped out into the hall directly in front of her. “You scared the shit out of me!” Esme gasped, pressing her hand over her racing heart.

  “My apologies,” she said with a frown. “I
will search for a change of clothing while you clean yourself in the bathing chamber.”

  “No, I-I didn’t actually…” Esme huffed. “It’s just a saying.” Warmth spread across her face as Ky canted her head. “Just forget it. It’s fine.”

  “I will wait outside the door for you.”

  “Great. Thanks,” Esme murmured. When the door to the chamber slid shut, she cursed the darkness. There was a soft chime from the other side of the door, followed by Ky’s soft curse.

  “Ping from Mitera,” came the voice of what she assumed to be an AI similar to Brin’s.

  “Stop talking to me,” she heard Ky whisper. “It is unsettling.”

  “Apologies.”

  Esme strained to listen through the metal door as she relieved herself, grinning at the frustration in the female’s voice.

  “Kythea! Where are you? Are you all right?” a new, unfamiliar voice asked anxiously.

  “I am fine, Mitera. We were able to take shelter just as the storm came upon us.”

  There was silence before the voice asked cautiously, “The report we heard is true then? You found the female?”

  “I did.”

  Esme blinked into the darkness as her heart lurched in her chest. You found the female.

  “Wonderful. You must bring her back as soon as the storm passes.”

  “I do not think that is in her best interest.”

  “Not in her best interest?” the voice questioned. “Kythea, you are needed here.”

  “Am I?” Ky asked. “There are more healers within the dome than are needed. I will not be missed, I assure you. This human, though…” There was hesitation in her voice. “She needs time to heal, Mitera, and I want to help her do that.”

  “Oh, Kythea, you cannot fix every being you come across.”

  Esme balked at the phrase. Fix this one! The Kaia’s words echoed through her mind.

  “She does not need to be fixed, Mitera,” Ky shot back.

  “Just… be safe, Kythea.” She heard the other person sigh. “What we have heard about the human female has not been good.”

  She should be offended by that, shouldn’t she? What had she done that could have been so bad? What had her fellow humans told the Venium that would make them say something like that about her? Esme knew she hadn’t been kind to Nuzal or Brin, or even Jun for that matter, but could she really be blamed?

  Let the others talk, she thought as she swallowed past the lump in her throat. She didn’t need them. As quickly as she could manage in the dark of the chamber, Esme cleaned herself before commanding her suit back up.

  Ky turned to her as the door slid open, a smile pulling at the corners of her mouth. “I have to go. Do not worry.”

  “I will do my best,” the other person replied. “Until the sun meets the moons, daughter.”

  “Until then, Mitera.” Ky’s voice was soft and her gaze moved over Esme’s face like a physical touch.

  Esme wanted to ask Ky about the conversation she’d had over the comm, but she didn’t want to seem nosey. The person on the other end called Ky her daughter so she felt safe assuming this was the female’s mother, or at least someone she considered to be like one. I wonder if it’s rude to ask about these sorts of things, she thought as they made their way down the hall.

  When they returned to the room, the air felt heavier, the dim lighting more sinister than it had been before. Perhaps it was the knowledge that there was a dead body lying on the floor behind the table that made it feel that way.

  Something moved across the back of her neck, the tingle of awareness that she’d felt in the forest, the one that had led her here. When they’d gone searching for the bathroom, it had tugged at her, but now that they were back, it seemed to welcome her.

  On board the troop transport ship, Esme remembered hearing someone say that all Grutex ships carried cryopods. She gazed around at the walls, wondering if they were hidden inside the panels of this ship as they had been in the other.

  Esme pressed and pulled, touching the metal walls in the same way she’d seen Nuzal do it, but all she found were strange gadgets in shallow drawers and instruments that reminded her of the tools in the lab. What kind of shit was this Grutex into?

  She fought against the memories that tried to invade her mind, that tried to cripple her. The equipment, the vials, the syringes, they were all horrible reminders of the place she’d escaped. This ship was so similar to Kaia’s and the transport she and the others had escaped on. It was starting to feel like she would never actually be free. With her eyes pinched closed, Esme drew in a deep, calming breath to ground herself, before turning and taking in the rest of the room.

  There was a blanket thrown over a liquid-filled tube that drew her attention, but when she reached her hand out to pull on the material, fear and uncertainty gripped her. Did she really want to know what was underneath the cover? What if she wasn’t prepared for what she might find? Esme took a step back, sucking her lower lip into her mouth as she looked around at the destruction.

  Must have been one hell of a fight in here.

  Many of the vials and tubes filled with various liquids were still intact, and with the things she’d found in the drawers, Esme imagined they could use this place as a makeshift hospital if they needed to.

  Thunder rolled through the ship once more, and Esme shuddered, remembering the way the troop transport had done the same when they landed. She didn’t like it here, didn’t like that she had to be on another Grutex craft. It brought back too many bad memories.

  Everything brings back bad memories.

  Ky lowered herself to the floor near the unconscious Grutex, her back resting against the black metal wall as she watched Esme with a curious expression. Esme felt the ghost of the female’s arms around her and frowned, not entirely comfortable with how her body was reacting.

  Don’t even, she told herself.

  And why not? Why shouldn’t she accept the comfort? Why should she let him continue to win? She pursed her lips and stepped closer, feeling the thread between them strengthen slightly. She stepped around the male, eyeing him as she settled next to Ky, just close enough to feel the warmth radiating from her skin. What if he was the reason she’d been called here?

  Crazier things have happened.

  Esme felt her head roll to the side a second before something warm pillowed against her cheek. Fingers carded through her hair, rubbing along her scalp as her sleep-muddled brain tried to make sense of what was happening. Somehow, on a ship with a Grutex and an alien female, she’d felt secure enough to let down her guard and fall asleep.

  You should wake up. You shouldn’t allow this!

  But she didn’t want this to stop, and as she began to drift off to sleep again, Esme heard Ky whisper something that made her wish this could last forever.

  “Sleep now. I will protect you.”

  Chapter 4

  Xuvri

  A soft touch along his chest plates pulled at his consciousness as the sound of a woman’s voice filled his ears. The voice sounded seductive and familiar. Another voice joined the first, only he understood this one.

  “Is he dead?”

  Xuvri opened all six of his eyes and looked up at the beautiful females who hovered over him. One was clearly human. Her blonde hair made his heart stop in his chest as he remembered the female he had lost. The other was her. He had finally found her. The hybrid female’s fushori lit as she placed her hand on his chest. He looked down at the two hands that touched him, surprised when he lit up red beneath each of their palms.

  My mates.

  “Shit!” The human gasped, falling back onto her bottom before scurrying away. “Not dead! Definitely still alive.”

  The hybrid at his side looked to be mostly Venium, but the delicate xines on the side of her face told him she was at least part Grutex. Even though Xuvri had discovered the village tucked away deep in the forest on Venora, it still baffled him that such creatures existed. Were they the descendants of runa
way experiments? Perhaps these people had come to be from Grutex and Venium pairings? No Grutex he knew would have found that acceptable, but in any case, these people were an anomaly.

  Whatever or whoever they were didn’t matter to him right now, because this female was one of the ones he’d been searching for.

  The hybrid female hissed, speaking hurriedly to the human as she reached for her hand, but she recoiled, pressing herself up against the wall. Was he really so hideous to her, or was there another reason for her apparent disgust? His xines came to life under her scrutiny, writhing against the floor as he glanced between his mates, feeling the urge to possess, to claim, rise up within him.

  Where was the other one? Where was the female he’d brought into the ship? “I am not yours! I will never be yours!” The memory of her anger, of her rejection slammed into him, and he growled.

  No, she was right, he realized. How could he have ever mistaken her for his? Her scent had been wrong, and perhaps somewhere deep inside he’d known that, but his mind had been so far gone by the time he’d taken her. The scents that swirled around him now, though, they were right. They were his. The hybrid female, the one whose hand still pressed against his chest, smelled earthy, like fresh herbs and newly turned soil. It was something he hadn’t experienced in lifetimes.

  The other female, the human who cowered, reminded Xuvri of the rains on one of the first planets he ever set foot on as a warrior. It had been miserably hot and he’d felt like he would boil alive within his own plates. Those first drops of rain had given him life. Xuvri remembered tipping his face up and letting the sweet-smelling water run over him.

  He rumbled low in his throat, stopping short at the pinch in his chest. The hybrid’s fushori pulsed, and she shook her head as her eyes narrowed on him. Her hands were still pressed against him, and he looked down, frowning when he saw that the cloth she held was covered in lifeblood… his lifeblood.

  “It will heal,” Xuvri told her. “There is no need to worry.” The injections he’d received from the Tachin and his own people decreased the time it took to heal significantly. Never in any of his other lifetimes had it taken him so long to recover, even from injuries as bad as these.