Awoken from the Deep

by Octavia Kore

  “Did you think that I would no longer want you because of what happened on the Kaia’s ship?” Xuvri asked, looking at Esme’s face.

  She nodded, not trusting herself to speak. The intense look in his eyes and the way the different shades of red seemed to swirl within them reminded her of lava flowing from a volcano. It was hot and terrifying, and she felt like she needed to get away before they burned her alive.

  “I am not the Kaia, Esme. I am not the scientist whose lifeblood I’m going to bathe in if I ever have the chance to get my hands on him.” Xuvri pushed himself up, leaning in close so that his face was mere inches from hers. “I am not a good person. I’ve done many horrible things in this life, but I belong to you and to Ky for eternity. I would kill for you, Esme, I would destroy worlds if that’s what it took to prove that nothing could make me ever want to be without either one of you.”

  Warmth spread through Esme, radiating out from beneath his palm where it rested against her skin. It was hard for her to believe not just one but two aliens might feel something for her. Could she really trust that they wanted to be with her, to care for and protect her, even though she was broken inside? What would happen to Esme when they decided she was more work than they had bargained for, that she wasn’t worth the hassle? She didn’t want to lose Eina, and if she were completely honest with herself, Esme was terrified of losing Ky and Xuvri. How had these two wormed their way into her heart in such a short amount of time?

  I don’t have to be alone. She could have a family here on this strange alien world.

  “I’m sorry for what I did,” Xuvri murmured, the heat in his eyes receding as his jaw clenched. “I shouldn’t have touched you, and I’m sorry that it caused you pain. It won’t happen again, Esme. When you’re ready… if you’re ever ready, I’ll be here.”

  What could Esme say to him to convey just how much those words meant to her? If he could feel her like she felt him and Ky, then Esme hoped he could sense the relief that coursed through her. Being given the chance and the time to heal was one of the most amazing gifts. Esme glanced down at Eina, struggling to think of a way to express what was going through her mind and found the baby’s red eyes, so much like Xuvri’s, watching her intently.

  Esme knew there were still so many questions to be answered and so many more things she would need time to work through, but at the end of the day, she wasn’t alone. No matter how unconventional all of this was, Ky, Xuvri, and Eina were hers.

  This is my family.

  Chapter 15

  Xuvri

  Xuvri didn’t like having the other male in his space. After the chaotic introduction with Esme and Eina the day before, Trakseer seemed to be keeping a respectful distance from the females, but that didn’t mean Xuvri liked anything about the situation. Ky might trust the alien, but with a newly born offspring and two mates to look after, Xuvri’s instincts were waging a war within him, urging him to take action.

  Mine.

  Eliminate.

  The voice in his mind was relentless, and by midday, it had begun to wear away at his fragile acceptance of the arrangement. The halls of the ship echoed with his growls and he was sure the constant side eye and snarling had spurred Trakseer’s desire to go out and gather more food. Although Ky and even his cautious little Esme had offered the other male a portion of their fruit, Xuvri refused to allow him to take anything from them. The females needed it far more than this interloper.

  With Trakseer out of the ship, Xuvri felt his mind quiet and his nerves settle a little. He was still on alert, still aware that they weren’t out of danger, but the lull allowed him to enjoy a quiet moment with his human mate.

  Well, not exactly quiet, he thought as Eina fussed in her arms. Xuvri sat on the hard metal floor of the lab across from Esme, who sat atop a nest of pillows and blankets he’d pulled from the other rooms. Humans were mostly strange little creatures with flesh he’d once found revoltingly soft, but his human… she was beautiful.

  Esme asked him for a change of scenery, saying she didn’t want Eina’s crying to wake Ky. Their hybrid mate was getting close to her heat. Xuvri could smell it in the air around her. It perfumed the halls of the ship, driving him mad with need, but he held himself in check. Not much longer.

  She will plead.

  She will beg to be bred.

  Take her.

  Take them.

  Breed.

  “This isn’t working!”

  The words startled Xuvri. He shook away the fog that had rolled into his mind, blinking at the little female across from him. Esme swiped at a tear as it rolled down her cheek while bouncing Eina gently against her. Xuvri could feel the frustration radiating from her, but this, all of this, was something completely foreign to him.

  “I know you can do this, but it takes time,” he told her, repeating the words he’d heard Ky say.

  “We don’t have time,” Esme said. “I took all of the herbs Ky brought, and Eina’s already finished off the last bit of the nutrition packet. She’s eating so much more than she was the first couple of days, and we’ve got nothing here for her. I swear I could feel my milk when I woke up. It was this strange heaviness, and I know that probably sounds ridiculous, but it’s like it’s… stuck.”

  It pained him to see her upset and defeated. Esme wanted so bad to make this work and Xuvri wanted to do everything he could to make sure she succeeded. “Is there some way for me to help?”

  Esme frowned down at her chest, pressing her lips together as she shifted on top of her pillow pile. “Could you… This is the strangest thing I think I’ve ever asked anyone in my entire life…” she murmured. “Would you massage my breast while I latch Eina?” She hurried to explain when Xuvri stared at her, stunned silent by the request. “Maybe the heat in your hands and the motion from massaging the tissue might be enough to get everything flowing? I’m desperate, Xuvri. I’ve tried skin to skin, latching at least twelve times a day, sometimes more, and so far it’s only resulted in this heaviness. Please, I know it’s an odd thing to ask, but…”

  Xuvri had lived many lives, and in that time, he’d done some things others might consider to be far from normal, but this… this might be the most unusual thing he’d been asked to do for someone else.

  “I don’t want to go to the dome, and I’m scared that we won’t have a choice if I can’t do this.” The fear on Esme’s face was unbearable.

  Xuvri wanted this to work just as much as she did, because if they had to make the decision to seek help from the Venium within the underwater dome, he wouldn’t be welcome.

  For good reason, he admitted.

  If it came down to his desire to stay together or Eina’s health, Xuvri knew he would have to let them go, but there had to be other options if Esme’s milk never came in. Trakseer had already offered to have them in the village, but Ky seemed unsure. Xuvri inclined his head as he stood and repositioned himself so that he was sitting behind her, his legs on either side of Esme’s body. It brought back the memory of the first time he held his little mate in his lap.

  Eina stared up at him as he looked over Esme’s shoulder, her tiny red eyes tracking his movements before her dam offered the breast. Xuvri’s hands shook as he laid them on Esme’s chest, careful not to catch her or his offspring with his claws as he began to squeeze gently. The few Grutex females he’d met did not have them and even Ky had lacked anything substantial when he’d woken up that first day. According to his hybrid mate, breasts like Esme’s were only seen on nursing dams.

  There is nothing sexual about them, he told himself. Breasts are for feeding. Breasts are for nurturing offspring. Even as he repeated the words in his mind, Xuvri couldn’t but marvel at their weight and how they seemed to spill between his spread fingers. Her skin was so soft, so supple.

  “Not like that! I’m not a cow!” Esme chuckled, swatting at him with her free hand. “I bet this is how cows feel when they’re being milked… I know I pretty much asked you to milk me, but I didn’t think
it would actually feel so silly.”

  “Of all the things I have ever walked in on, this is by far the most interesting.” There was laughter in Ky’s voice, and when Xuvri turned toward the entrance to the room, there was an amused smile on her face.

  Esme rested her head against Xuvri’s chest and growled. “Look, we’re trying everything we can, okay?”

  “I know,” Ky cooed as she approached, crouching down in front of their mate. “Let me see if I can help.” They worked together, Ky showing Xuvri how to rub from the top of Esme’s breast down toward the peak where Eina was still latched. “Slow circular motions.”

  Esme winced and sucked in a breath. “There it is again,” she said. “It’s this prickling tingling sensation.”

  “Should I stop?” Xuvri asked hesitantly, not wanting to cause her pain.

  “No! Keep going. I… I think it’s working.”

  “You are doing so well, Esme,” Ky encouraged, running her hands over their mate’s arms. “Slow, steady breaths.”

  A soft rattle filled the air, and it took a moment for Xuvri to realize it was coming from him. It was something he wasn’t accustomed to doing, but his body seemed to know when to use it. Esme relaxed against him, her shoulders dropping as she released a long sigh.

  When Eina’s little grunts turned into quiet hums, and her squirming settled, Xuvri looked down to see his offspring’s tiny hand fisted against Esme’s breast. In the corner of the little one’s mouth, a milky liquid had pooled, and he watched as she swallowed greedily, her nostrils flaring with each breath.

  “Esme,” he whispered, afraid he might startle them both and ruin all of their hard work. “Look.”

  “Oh, Esme,” Ky breathed, smiling up at their human mate. “Look at her nursing. You did so well.”

  Xuvri watched Ky lean forward and press her lips to Esme’s temple as their mate stared down at their offspring. They weren’t given very long to bask in Esme’s success. Only a couple minutes had passed before Eina was once again kicking and fussing.

  “I don’t think there’s anything left,” Esme said, her shoulders sagging in defeat. “I thought we’d finally gotten it.”

  “It is normal to produce only a small amount in the beginning. Try to feed her from the other breast. The more she nurses, the more you should produce.”

  Ky helped Esme reposition Eina, instructing Xuvri to resume his circular motions as the little one suckled. He didn’t miss the way Ky smiled at him, or the soft brush of her fingers over his arm before her hand slid down to rub Esme’s shoulder.

  “Come on, Eina,” Esme murmured. “We’ve got it this time.”

  “Ky told me you chose her name,” Xuvri said, attempting to distract his mate and ease the tension in her body.

  “Well, it was sort of a team effort,” Esme glanced over her shoulder at him, her cheeks turning a soft pink. “I was worried you might be upset we named her without you.”

  Xuvri shrugged as he looked down at his daughter. “It is not something the Grutex concern themselves with.” Esme seemed to ponder this for a moment before nodding. “Does the name have some meaning to you?”

  “Bold warrior,” Esme said, sharing a secretive look with Ky that sent a thrill through him. “It seemed pretty fitting.”

  “Little warrior,” Xuvri said, brushing the back of his finger over Eina’s cheek as she suckled, her frustration evident by the way her fists pounded against her dam’s breast.

  “God,” Esme hissed. “That’s an odd sensation, but I think it’s actually working.” Eina’s frantic rooting had calmed, and she took slower, longer pulls as she suckled. Her tiny lower jaw worked at a much steadier pace than it had before. “Whoa!” Esme laughed, pressing a hand against her exposed breast as milk began to drip from it freely. Ky slid one of the blankets onto their mate’s lap, using the corner to dry Esme’s hand and chest.

  “I knew you could do it,” Xuvri rumbled.

  The look of pure joy Esme gave him when she turned her face up caused a strange response to bloom within his chest. It felt as if his heart stopped beating for a moment, like a fist had closed around it, squeezing the life out of him. When the tightness finally released, his heart pumped even faster than before, working double time as it fought to resume its normal steady rhythm. There was something wrong with his body.

  “Here you all are!” Trakseer exclaimed, suddenly appearing in the entrance of the room, a mesh bag packed with kelpora and galging and two large, round red fruits in his hands. “Look what I found—stillasas!”

  Esme jumped in Xuvri’s lap, startling Eina and Ky’s eyes widened for a moment before she pressed her lips together, snickering. She found this display of idiocy amusing? With a snarl, Xuvri threw his hands forward to cup Esme’s breasts, one covering just above Eina’s mouth, blocking Trakseer’s view.

  “What the fuck?” Esme exclaimed, but made no attempt to free herself.

  Xuvri narrowed his eyes on the male as he walked into the room. “Look away! I know what you’re thinking about, and I’m going to strangle the life out of you if you don’t stop.”

  Trakseer froze mid-step, the ridges of his brows drawing together in a frown as he searched their faces. “What exactly am I thinking?”

  “This isn’t sexual,” Xuvri growled, mostly as a reminder to himself. “But that doesn’t mean you can come in here and gawk.”

  “What is not sexual?”

  “HER MELONS!”

  “Her what?”

  “Her breasts.”

  “I do not understand, Xuvri.” Trakseer’s head tilted. “Your youngling is nursing at the breast… I agree that there is nothing sexual about it––”

  Xuvri’s rumbling growl filled the room. “Don’t talk about my mate’s breasts.”

  Esme snorted in his lap, but he didn’t spare her a look. “Are you seriously doing this?”

  “Xuvri,” the other male said, taking a cautious step forward. “I will admit to a polite curiosity when it comes to the differences in our species, but––”

  “Do not finish that sentence, Trakseer,” Ky said, obviously struggling not to laugh.

  Was Xuvri the only one who found this unacceptable?

  Trakseer turned to Xuvri and huffed. “Breasts are meant for feeding young. You said so yourself that this was nothing sexual, and I agreed. You are the only one making this situation strange. This is natural.”

  “If you do not turn away, I will naturally rearrange your face.”

  “Free the nipple!” Esme laughed, looking up at him with a grin. “I’m guessing the whole ‘free the nipple’ movement never reached the Grutex, huh? No? Too human? Not gonna free the nipples?”

  “Just turn around,” Ky said to Trakseer as she shook her head.

  “I can wear the sling if that will help,” Esme offered, jerking her head toward the garment that rested on the pile of pillows near Xuvri’s leg. “I didn’t really think I was going to need it, but if this is going to be an issue then I can use it for now.”

  Xuvri waited to remove his hands until Ky finished helping Esme slip the sling over her body. Trakseer stayed in the doorway, his back to them the entire time the little one nursed. Eventually, Eina’s eyes began to drift closed and her mouth released Esme’s nipple. Ky scooped up their sleepy offspring, patting under her wings, as Xuvri helped Esme stand.

  “Thank you,” his little human mate said with a smile. “Suit up.”

  Xuvri watched the black material move up her body, covering up all of her soft skin until it reached her throat. It wasn’t until then, with his females standing before him, that Xuvri realized he’d made it through being so close and even intimately touching one of his females without extruding, or even becoming hard within his sheath.

  See, he thought with pride. Not sexual at all.

  “Is it okay if we go outside the ship for a little bit? We’ve been stuck in here for days, and it’s starting to drive me insane,” Esme said, brushing her long, golden hair away from her face. “
Some fresh air would be nice.”

  There were dangers outside of the ship, animals and plants within the forest that could injure or kill his mates and their offspring. Xuvri wanted to protest, to tell them they could do it some other time before locking them in their room where he knew they were safe, but the hopeful look in Esme’s eyes destroyed those thoughts almost immediately.

  “It will be fine as long as we stay close,” Ky said, nuzzling her face against Eina’s hair. “Some sunlight will be good for everyone.”

  Trakseer turned around in the doorway as the females approached, but his eyes widened when Xuvri jumped up, cutting in front of Ky and Esme to push him farther back into the hallway and out of their path.

  “What a caveman,” Esme mumbled as she and Ky slipped past them. “Was that really necessary?”

  “Yes,” Xuvri growled. “It was.” He watched his mates round the first corner before turning back to Trakseer. “You are too familiar with my females. You will show the proper respect or I will gut you.”

  “Will this continue to be a problem with you?” Trakseer asked, one of his brow ridges rising slightly. “I know who Ky and Esme belong to. Mated females are of little interest to me.”

  Little interest? Xuvri’s females were of little interest to this male? “You find my mates unattractive?” Trakseer groaned, but before he could speak, Xuvri stepped closer, crowding the chief. “Do your eyes not work, or do you simply have low standards of beauty?” He would claw those broken eyes out of the male’s skull.

  “How shall I notice their beauty when I am forbidden from looking at them?” This time, it was Xuvri who was given no chance to respond. Trakseer turned on his heel and disappeared down the hallway that led back to the rooms.

  Did he want the other male thinking about his females, longing for them? No. Did he really want Trakseer to fawn over Ky and Esme’s beauty? No. So why was he so angry over the fact that the other male wasn’t consumed by jealousy?