The Last Little Secret

by Zuri Day

  Later that day, after crossing off 75 percent of what was on her schedule, she didn’t wait for Nick to call her. She called him. She needed to set things straight before losing her nerve or, after seeing that hard, toned body again, her will.

  He answered quickly, his voice low and sexy. “I was just thinking about you. Again.”

  “I’ve been thinking about you, too, all day off and on.”

  “All good thoughts, I hope.”

  “It probably depends on how you look at it. Either way, I’ve come to a decision.”

  “Uh-oh. This sounds serious.”

  “I think we should cut out the intimacy between us and focus on co-parenting Trey.”

  “Okay.” The word had only two syllables but the way Nick dragged it out made it seem to have more. “May I ask why you feel that way?”

  Sam sighed. “I’m still figuring that all out myself. What I do know, what I recently discovered or acknowledged about myself, is that I’m past the whole casual dating thing. While Oba’s and my marriage didn’t work out and I’m not looking to blindly jump into another, I am looking for more than someone just to spend time with.”

  “Such as?”

  “Feeling connected more than physically. Feeling that I’m not alone in the world, that someone has my back and will be there for me. I don’t want to use the word claim, that sounds so draconian, but there’s a part of being a woman that wants to be wanted, needed, loved, who wants to be valued enough by someone willing to acknowledge that she’s enough for him, that she’s all he wants.”

  “That sounds like the marriage thing you’re not wanting to jump back into.”

  “Mine was mostly a marriage in name only, and I said blindly jump.”

  “Y’all didn’t have sex?”

  “We had sex. We never made love.”

  “And that’s what you want. Love, not sex.”

  “Yes. That’s what I want.”

  As she talked, revelations continued to pour into Sam’s soul. Fear diminished. She was emboldened to stand in her truth. She wanted a real father for Trey and real love for herself. To have both was possible. She now knew that for sure. If she couldn’t get the love she wanted from the father of her child, she’d get it somewhere else.

  Eighteen

  Nick tossed a stack of papers on his desk and punched the office intercom button with more force than necessary.

  “Yes, Mr. Breedlove?”

  He didn’t answer her because he’d jumped out of his chair and stormed out of his office.

  “What in the hell is this?” he yelled before reaching his destination. He tossed the report on Anita’s desk. Files, pens and sticky pads went flying. “The revisions I requested are not on that doc.”

  “Oh no, Mr. Breedlove!” Anita hurriedly straightened the messy report papers, then scrambled to retrieve the items off the floor. “I absolutely made the changes and must have forwarded the uncorrected document.”

  “Find it. Send it,” Nick growled, punching the air with a finger for emphasis. “Now!” Instead of waiting for an answer he marched back into his office and but for the hydraulics would have slammed the door. He continued to the window, his brow creased in a perfect bad-boy scowl as he shoved his hands in his pockets and tried to calm down. He wasn’t angry about the report. He was upset at the restrictions Sam had placed on their relationship. Wait, there wasn’t a relationship. That was the problem.

  The intercom sounded. “Mr. Breedlove, I just emailed the corrected version. I thought I’d deleted the first one after it was revised. My apologies for—”

  “None needed, Anita.” He walked over and plopped into his chair, then spun around to face the phone. “I’m the one who needs to apologize.”

  “It’s okay, Nick. There’s a lot going on.”

  She had no idea. Then again, Nick suspected she’d had an inkling. Victoria called it Mother Wit. Plus, Anita had been with CANN for over twenty years, back in the days when Nick and Noah played Nerf ball in the halls and stole candy from the vending machines. It’s the main reason he corrected her when she first called him by his surname.

  “Call me Nick,” he’d said.

  She refused, wanting to give him the respect due an executive and, if his hunch was correct, boost the confidence of a twenty-two-year-old who was wet behind the ears. But when a bit of chiding or support was needed, she reverted to being the mother she was, with sons and daughters almost Nick’s age.

  “That’s no excuse,” he said after the long pause.

  “Well, I know you’re busy and want those letters to sign before end of day. So I’ll get back to work. But if there’s anything else you need or ways I can help relieve any stress, just let me know. Okay, kiddo?”

  Nick smiled. “Yes, ma’am.” He reached over to disconnect the call. “Hey, Anita. Got a question.”

  “Yes, Mr. Breedlove?”

  “So we’re back to that, are we?”

  She chuckled. “Absolutely. Sir.”

  “Cut that out.”

  “What’s your question?”

  “I’m seeking your opinion as a woman, not my assistant.”

  “I think I can handle that.”

  “Is it true that no matter how independent a woman acts, she secretly wants companionship and...you know...to get married?”

  “Are we speaking...generally?”

  “Yes.”

  “Then generally speaking, yes, I believe that’s true. Much has changed, with the women’s movement, the rise of feminism and such, and some women are able to remain single and be happy. But I personally believe that deep inside most women, most people in fact, want to love and be loved, to have a partner in life. You’re still young, Nick, and driven. But one day I believe that you, too, will grow tired of dating, and want something more substantial, more grounding in your life. Until then, have fun!”

  “Good advice. Thanks, Anita.”

  “Anytime.”

  Nick went back to work. He perused the report Anita had corrected. Went to the meeting he’d mentioned to Sam. The hardest work he did all day was trying to forget about her and the decision she’d made. His fingers itched to tap her name on his phone, but he didn’t. Until now he hadn’t realized the easy flow they’d fallen into of talking almost every day. Mostly about Trey, sometimes with design or architectural questions. He’d grown used to regularly hearing her voice, and missed it. Then on Thursday night, as he left the office early to prepare for one of his mother’s many social functions, his phone rang. Sam. Coming to her senses about her sex ban, he hoped. He’d had his share of women but when it came to his child’s mother, he had to admit that their connection was different from those others. Special. At another level. He was a passionate brother. She was the first to match him stroke for stroke.

  “Breedlove.”

  “Nick, it’s Sam.”

  “I know. What’s up?”

  “It’s about Trey.”

  So the call wasn’t about sex, or him. He ignored a pang of disappointment.

  “He’s okay, right?”

  “He’s fine.”

  “Then what is it?”

  “Is it possible that he can stay with you this weekend? Gloria is off for the holidays. As soon as my lease is up, I’m moving back to LA. I want to fly over there tomorrow, do some house hunting, speak with a few potential clients, stuff like that.”

  Nick’s bad week just got worse.

  “What’s wrong with Vegas?”

  There was a slight pause before Sam answered. “Nothing. However, the bulk of clients requesting my assistance are in metro LA. It makes sense for that to be my home base.”

  “What about Trey?”

  “What about him?”

  “Will he be staying here, on the estate?”

  “Most definitely not.”

 
“It’s not definite at all, babe. I don’t want my son growing up amid smog, gang violence, police misconduct, the celebrity culture. He needs to be here in Breedlove, where he can run, play, breathe fresh air and be a worry-free kid.”

  “He’s my son, Nick. There’s no way I’m going to be separated from him.”

  “Me, either.”

  “There’s got to be a way we can come to a mutual agreement that will allow me to grow my business and for us to continue to co-parent Trey. You’ve got the plane, and money is no object. You can visit on the weekends and spend time together, just like now. There’s tons of father-son adventures that you can have there.”

  “That wouldn’t work.”

  “Why not?”

  Because that would leave little to no time to work on us. The thought startled Nick. The truth unnerved him. Did he really want an “us” with Sam? The past couple months had been amazing. What about six months from now? A year? Five? He’d had his pick of women since the age of sixteen. Variety had always been the spice of his dating life. All of his brothers were married and seemed happy. Nick thought he was fine living single. He enjoyed the bachelor life.

  “Because I don’t want to be a long-distance dad. I won’t let you take him out of state.”

  “You won’t let me? You can’t stop me. You may be his biological father but that’s where it ends. Your name is not on his birth certificate. You have no legal rights.”

  “That can be changed.”

  “Where is this coming from? You’ve never seemed concerned about it before.”

  “You never before suggested moving Trey out of town!”

  “You have all of the resources in the world and can see him whenever you want!”

  “How about I set up an account to cover your flight expenses so that you can come here and see our son. Whenever, as you said.”

  “If you start a joint custody battle, believe me, you’ll lose. There’s no way a judge would grant that to a man who’s known his son for less than six months.”

  “Whose fault is that?”

  “Doesn’t matter. The court will rule in the child’s best interest.”

  “And you think that’s away from an estate with over a thousand acres, with trees to climb and lakes to fish in? You think the judge will look unkindly upon an extended family that is successful in business and pillars of the community in a town that bears the child’s grandfather’s name? Don’t bet on how a judge will handle this, Sam. Or on how hard I’ll fight.”

  He heard a sigh and could imagine her pacing, running a frustrated hand through those gorgeous locs as she often did.

  “Look, Nick. I don’t want to argue. So far, you’ve shown yourself to be an amazing dad. I don’t want to take away from Trey the opportunity for you to be a big part of his life. I also need to rebuild my business in a city that will provide an almost unlimited amount of potential clients. We should be able to make a decision that will work for all of us.”

  “There’s an unlimited amount of work for you at CANN. You should come back to work here.”

  “I think that given the circumstances it’s best that we keep our lives separate, except for Trey.”

  “I’m fine with that.” Not. “As long as you remain here, where I can see my son as often as I like, and where he can grow up as part of our clan.”

  “You’re being unreasonable, Nick. Are you using this as a way to get back at me for not having sex with you?”

  “Do I look like a brother who can’t get sex?” He instantly regretted the words and hurried on in an effort to clean them up. “This isn’t about us. It’s about Trey. The best place for a young, growing boy like him is in Breedlove, Nevada. I’ll understand it if you decide to relocate. But Trey stays here.”

  Sam hung up without saying goodbye. She was pissed, no doubt. Nick didn’t blame her. He’d be upset, too. But he meant every word he said. So much so that he reached for his phone, tapped the face and then a number. “Hey, Chris. Quick question.”

  “Shoot.”

  “Didn’t Barry’s divorce involve a custody battle?” Barry Hammel was an up-and-coming architect CANN had snagged from a competing firm.

  “A straight-out war, brother. The wife used the poor kids as pawns. Brainwashed them into thinking Barry didn’t love them. Insinuated that there’d been sexual abuse. It was ugly. But he won in the end.”

  “He got the kids?”

  “Joint custody, and a ruling that without his knowledge and permission, she could not take the kids out of state.”

  “Do you know his attorney’s name?”

  “No, but I can get it. Why?”

  “Sam’s thinking about moving to LA. But Trey’s not going anywhere.”

  Nick exited the highway as he ended the call, feeling sure about what he planned to do. He couldn’t control what had happened in Trey’s life before finding out he was the boy’s father. But he’d have a hand in everything that took place from here. That was for damn sure.

  Nineteen

  An hour later and Sam was still so hot from the conversation with Nick that she probably could have flown over there on her own steam, with Trey tucked under an arm. He was beside her in the passenger seat gabbing away, excited to see his father. And the horses. And birds. For that reason, she played nice. From the answer to the text she sent, Nick wasn’t calm either. His response to the fact she was on her way over? One letter. K. She reached the estate and waved at the guard who opened the gate for her to drive through. She’d been impressed with these lands since her first arrival. Nick’s words wafted like rings of smoke in her ears.

  It’s about Trey.

  It surely was, which was why Nick shouldn’t have a problem flying to California. A child belonged with his mother, and this mother was about to be in LA.

  The best place for a young, growing boy is in Breedlove, Nevada.

  She slowed around a curve and took in the landscape. Breathtaking, with lush green grass, sparkling lakes, animals dotting the countryside and majestic mountains beyond. Straight out of a storybook. Did she have the right to deprive Trey of growing up here? Maybe not, but she couldn’t imagine not having a daily presence in his life. Was it right to request it of Nick?

  I’ll understand it if you decide to relocate. But Trey stays here.

  The obvious solution was for her to accept Noah’s offer and stay in Las Vegas. But could she survive regular contact with a man she wanted for the long term but would most likely never have?

  She pulled into Nick’s driveway. Memories assailed her. The Thanksgiving holiday. His master suite. The night they’d spent under the stars making love. Sam jerked the door open. There was no time for a trip down memory lane. She had a plane to catch. Trey got out of the car and ran to the door. Sam had hoped Nick would be outside. Easy handoff with little talk. He wasn’t. She caught up with Trey and grabbed his hand as they mounted the twenty-plus steps to Nick’s front door. The landscaping made for mind-blowing curb appeal, with its majestic waterfalls and towering trees that hid the five-thousand-square-foot man cave that Nick called home. A thought assailed her that was so unnerving she almost tripped.

  Trey loves it here.

  The door opened just as they reached the last step. Security system cameras, Sam surmised. He was at his home and could do what he wanted, but did he have to be shirtless, showing off the abs she loved to tickle with her fingernails? His hair was damp as though just out of the shower. He clutched a red towel hanging from his neck. He looked tempting. Devilish. Perfect for all sorts of sins. More images assailed her. She hadn’t shared the details of that night with anyone, but she’d never look at a shower stall or marble bench the same.

  Nick crouched to look Trey in the eye. “Hey, buddy. You ready to have fun?”

  “Are we riding the horses again?”

  “If you want.”

 
“With Christina and Jaylen?”

  “Sure.”

  “Yes!” Trey pushed past him and ran into the house.

  “Trey!” Sam stepped around Nick. “Are you going to leave without giving me a hug?”

  Trey spun around and trudged back toward Sam. “I forgot.” The hug was brief and noncommittal. “Daddy, can I play video games?”

  Nick nodded.

  “Bye, Mama!”

  They watched Trey race down the hall. Nick turned to her. “Hey.”

  “Hey.”

  The air pulsated with words neither dared say. Nick kept his feelings behind a hooded gaze.

  “You coming in?”

  Sam shook her head. “I need to get to the airport.”

  “Still going to LA?” He leaned on the doorjamb, cocked a brow, looked like a centerfold.

  “Yep.” Sam pulled the carry-on holding Trey’s clothing and toys toward Nick. He reached for the handle. Their hands touched. Something akin to an electrical shock ran up her arm. It took everything within her not to jerk away. She played it cool, stepped back and headed down the stairs. She took a couple, then turned. “I’ll be back Sunday night. Will text you on the way from the airport.”

  A short nod was his only response before stepping back into the house and closing the door. An uncomfortable feeling swirled in Sam’s gut. She reached her car and hesitated before starting the engine and driving away. One of the clients she was scheduled to meet the next day interrupted her thoughts. By the time she arrived at the airport, the exchange with Nick had been forgotten. She boarded the plane and lost herself in 3-D designs.

  Forty-five minutes later, the plane descended over the massive metropolis known as the City of Angels. Sam looked out at the imagery of the place she’d called home since the age of five, when her family left their Tennessee roots and chased her mother’s acting dreams to Hollywood. It was a place she’d found a little scary but immediately exciting. Her family had settled in the San Fernando Valley. Sam flourished there. Her dad Marcus preferred country living. She’d always loved the city. Yet as the plane touched down and taxied on the runway, she felt strangely disconnected.